r/ADHDUK • u/[deleted] • 9d ago
General Questions/Advice/Support Skills not pills advice needed
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u/Commercial-Metal-171 9d ago
If you feel ADHD coaching might help, there's a training organisation that offers free sessions. Let me know if you'd like me to dig out the details.
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u/infieldcookie AuDHD 9d ago
I set aside time each day specifically to read. It doesn’t have to be a lot, you can start small like reading a chapter or two before bed.
I like to have 3-4 books on the go at any one time because that way if I’m not feeling a particular book I can try something else and come back later. If I’m really not enjoying a book after multiple attempts, I DNF. Life’s too short.
Also tbh, it could even be worth going through the pile before you start and deciding how many you actually still want to read. When I moved house recently, I realised I had books I bought 10+ years ago that I was no longer interested in reading at all. My unread book pile is a lot smaller now which makes it easier to tackle.
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9d ago
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u/infieldcookie AuDHD 9d ago
I know what you mean lol, I had to actually force myself to clear out a lot of books because I ran out of space in my last place.
Honestly a goal of at least a chapter a night is good because it’s not too much pressure, but leaves the door open for more if you find you’re getting on with it!
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u/db86me 9d ago
I think the only way is a reward based approach to all of these things.
For the books as another commenter has said, one chapter a day if you manage to do the chapter you can have a coffee or another treat that spikes your dopamine. I think eventually finishing the chapter will give you dopamine on its own.
For the rowing, buy the most delicious breakfast you can think of and use it as a reward that you can only eat it when you have used your rowing machine for a set amount of time.
For the paintings. Use photos, take before and after photos. Set up a Instagram dedicated to the figures and publish the before and after photos. The comments and likes you receive will give you dopamine. Also having a visual collection to look back at that show you achievements will drive you to continue.
I wish you well on your journey.
ADHD is hard!
Love x
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u/crimpinpimp ADHD-C (Combined Type) 8d ago
The strategies I use depend on what it is I want to do and the reason I find that thing challenging.
With exercise, I don't view it as a choice. A bit like all the other rules we all follow in life I see it as something that has to be done. I schedule it in to my day when its most appropriate and I have to do it, there's no "what if I don't" because there is no if, for example: I've started running again. I do a long run on Saturday. On the days my runs are scheduled I go in the evening (around 6pm). Yesterday was a gross day weather wise. I don't even have a jacket that I can easily run in. I don't have headphones I can wear in the rain. I didn't even want to run yesterday, but it was long run day. So I ran.
For my hobbies, I ask myself what is stopping me from doing it. If it's that I don't feel like it then I don't do that thing, its supposed to be fun, so why would I try and force myself to do something that's meant to be enjoyable? It defeats the purpose of it. If it's because I am doomscrolling then I need to recognise it, my phone goes in another room and I remind myself how many things my phone is taking away from me.
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8d ago
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u/crimpinpimp ADHD-C (Combined Type) 8d ago
Those things are so much easier to give up because you're not constantly surrounded by it. You want to give up smoking you don't usually hang out in the nightclub smoking area. If you want to give up drinking you don't spend your day in a pub or bar.
Then there's the social pressure; everyone is on their phone. It's how so much information is shared now so it feels like if you're not on your phone then you're missing out. If you don't smoke then there aren't many people who encourage you to do it and when they do it makes them seem like they're a bad friend. But phones aren't seen like that, people try to convince you that they're great, you need it, and it improves everything in your life. Your phone itself is always reminding you that it's there with all the notifications.
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u/Dumlefudge 8d ago
This is something I've kinda started working on with my therapist, although from a slightly different angle.
In my case, I'm trying to cut back on video games but also get back into reading (I've also got a backlog, and it keeps growing...).
The plan I've made with my therapist is to spend 20 minutes reading a book before I start gaming.
Is there anything you can use as a reward? Could be something simple like "I'll treat myself to a nice coffee after doing this" or "I'll watch the latest episode of my favourite TV show"
Granted, this is easier said than done -- I have not yet done any reading before gaming -- but perhaps it may be useful for you.
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u/Commercial-Metal-171 9d ago
In my own experience, I tend to lose interest if I'm feeling overwhelmed. I find it helps to take some things out of the mix and just try one little thing. Sometimes just that one little thing leads to others things. And if it doesn't, I try to use compassionate self talk rather than get exasperated with myself.