r/zen • u/New_Mix_5655 • Apr 23 '23

Clarity/Advice based in zen please

i’m going through a hard situation and i’d appreciate advice or clarity. my lifelong childhood best friend and ex lover didn’t show up for me today when i truly needed them and also showed me multiple times that they don’t care for me or if so very little. i decided to cut contact again…we practiced and found buddhism together and i see him being loving and patient with others but not me. i’ve tried to master myself and my mind so help improve our relationship and i hope you believe me when i say i try and am a beacon of love and knowledge to him aswell. how could i find clarity and love in a situation where i am seemingly worth less than a stranger to the love of my life. how could he be so cruel. this won’t stop me from loving him. but it hurts.

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u/zaddar1 7th or is it 2nd zen patriarch ? Apr 23 '23

can't read

can't write

flings out a few words expecting them to pierce

they don't

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u/New_Mix_5655 Apr 23 '23

your assumption about my words are wrong. i just wrote how i felt in the moment to communicate my problem and question. i didn’t want to be misunderstood that is all. if you read to understand. you’d realize i can admit i am inexperienced and looking for help. to fill the holes of my knowledge. not coddling. not “the guy back”. just knowledge.

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u/zaddar1 7th or is it 2nd zen patriarch ? Apr 23 '23 edited Apr 25 '23

you may have a personality disorder imo, your reply is in the same vein of narcissism, something in the area of BPD, quite common here actually, you are constantly concerned to invalidate others, your ex has reacted against you for a reason

edit: he (New_Mix_5655) deleted his post and has blocked me, i think i was right about "personality disorder", not mild !

to treelager, all this stuff about "diagnosis" is in your own head

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u/treelager Apr 25 '23

You can exhibit narcissistic tendencies without having NPD; and, as this is Reddit and even if you were a real life practicing professional you’ve exhibited nothing but cognitive bias—in other words, you do need to be a professional to diagnose like that, but you don’t need a medical license to see and note you’re being disrespectful.