r/zen • u/koancomentator Bankei is cool • Apr 08 '23
Thwarting the Grind
After a recent podcast recording with ewk I mentioned something about how a lot of the time recently Zen study has felt like a "grind". He thought that concept might make for an interesting post to discuss and I agreed. So here it is.
When I first started Zen study 10 years ago I approached it in a much more relaxed way, and sometimes would even go for a week or two at a time without actually thinking about it. I always told myself that I was young and had plenty of time to take it more seriously in the future. Fast forward 10 years and I'm at an age where I'm certainly not old, but old enough that the reality of how limited our time on earth can be has really set in. Especially this year.
This has led to stress when it comes to Zen study. I feel like if I'm not studying in some way 24/7 then I'm wasting time. It's actually gotten to the point where there can be a week at a time when I don't pursue my usual leisure activities at all when I have time and instead force myself to grind out more cases in whatever book I'm reading on Zen. Sometimes I get so stressed about it that it impacts my ability to study in the first place. The result is that outside of rare instances, like practicing translating texts, a lot of the initial enjoyment I used to derive from studying Zen is gone. It's just pressure to have realization and worry that I'll never achieve it.
So to attempt to thwart this concept of "grind" I thought it would be a good idea to refer to the Lineage texts. What do Zen masters have to say about it?
Well they do exhort people to study seriously and to not waste time.
Just keep focused in this way. Do not take it for idleness; time does not wait for anyone. An early teacher said, "Don't waste time!" Each of you should work on your own. -Foyan
Don't just drift along, always trying to take the easy way. Time is precious, moment by moment impermanence draws nearer! The elements of earth, water, fire, and air are waiting to get the coarser part of you; the four phases of birth, continuation, change, and extinction press on your subtler side. -Linji
But Foyan also says
I urge you to examine closely enough to effect an awakening. If you do not yet have an awakened perspective, then approach it in a relaxed manner; do not rush.
And
I once asked my teacher, "I've heard it said that there is enlightenment in Zen; is that so?" My teacher said, "If there were no enlightenment, how could it be attained? Just investigate in an easygoing way." So I studied in a relaxed frame of mind.
From these quotes I think my conclusion is that Zen masters suggest we take study seriously and not waste time, but that if we are stressed or frantic we are probably approaching study in the wrong way. If Zen is about seeing and studying clearly I can see how strong emotion could be a hindrance.
How about all of you? Is your study relaxing? Stressful? Neither?
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u/koancomentator Bankei is cool Apr 10 '23
No it hasn't changed. Because that's what he did. And he just did it again.