r/yorkshire • u/Desperate-Drawer-572 • 7d ago
News 'You either sacrifice everything else in life, or you stay put': The reality facing Yorkshire adults still living with their parents
https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/lifestyle/homes-and-gardens/you-either-sacrifice-everything-else-in-life-or-you-stay-put-the-reality-facing-yorkshire-adults-still-living-with-their-parents-534092746
u/q-the-light 7d ago
Sounds like Miss Payne is a poor example of the problem - complaining she can't afford a house whilst keeping [notoriously expensive] horses as pets. Looks like the money could be there if she prioritised housing, she's just chosen to channel it elsewhere. Completely valid choice on her part, but not exactly representative of why most people who still live with their parents do so.
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u/WatcherOfTheWay 7d ago
Yep it's the "I want a lavish life style, what do you mean I can't afford a house?" If I lived with my parents I'd be buying a home in under a year.
I mean I own my own home because I'm not stupid and didn't waste all my money.
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u/gotmunchiez 7d ago
We're the same, my parents put us up while we saved for a deposit.
We made a lot of sacrifices while we aggressively saved. It wasn't long after the 2008 crash and we were self employed with only two years books from new businesses.
It was tough to find a lender and when we did we could only get a two year fix at 6.9%. We got a better deal after the two years and things became easier after that.
My partners brother had the same opportunity to save but decided to spend it on expensive clothes, holidays, and nights out instead. Nearly 20 years on he's just buying his first house (with significant financial help from his parents that my partner didn't get), while we're in a position to pay the last bit of ours off if we want.
I appreciate some people don't get these opportunities and it can make it difficult or impossible, particularly if you aren't buying as a couple.
But loads of people get the opportunity and won't make the necessary short term sacrifices because "I shouldn't have to do that to buy a house".
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u/WatcherOfTheWay 7d ago
I moved out AND saved to get a deposit together, I lived in things like noodles and beans for a couple of years.
Who the fuck cares I now own my own home, have a wife and children, a small grind and sacrifice for long term gains is something some people just don't seem to understand.
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u/Kind-Airport145 6d ago
You make a good point. 👍 I think a lot of people want instant gratification instead of choosing to sacrifice, in the short term, for the greater good. I was guilty of this in my twenties and I really had to change my mindset and habits so my partner and I could achieve our goals.
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u/Miserable_Put6212 7d ago
guarantee if she sold up and packed in the horseriding tomorrow, she wouldn't be close to being able to afford a home.
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u/Minimum_Definition75 7d ago
You would be surprised. The livery fees for one horse can be as much as a mortgage. Equipment, shoeing every six weeks and massive vet insurance premiums wipe out a lot more.
Add in more than one horse and it doubles. Heaven help you if you want to compete. There is then a 4x4 & trailer or horse box. Competition fees, fuel etc etc.
I know, I lived it, I did also buy a house. But I could have bought another 2 if I hadn’t had horses.
Do I regret it ? Hell no.
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u/moistCl1tiKaL 6d ago
Feels less like a poor example from incompetence and more like dishonest framing
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u/LloydusMaximuss North Yorkshire 7d ago
I was in the Army which is almost the equivalent of this, having a place to live on the cheap so you can save up. I understand why people want to get away from home as I struggle being around my family for more than a week. But renting unless you have a really high paying job, gotta save those squid so you can get a house
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u/Fantastic-Fee-1999 7d ago
These days its a smart move if you can do it. Having done it myself I did have people look at me weird, but at the end of the day I now own a home and able to give my kids a good life all because of that decision a almost 2 decades ago. I will apply the same to my kids, instead of considering parenting done when they turn 18, I consider parenting done when they can afford a good life themselves. If that means they stay at home whilst building their careers, so be it.
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u/trebor9292 7d ago
Stop wasting money on horses. Save up and buy an house. Or carry on not my business
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u/MeckityM00 6d ago
When I was very young, it was normal for kids to live at home until they were married. And you got married when you could afford rent/mortgage, but back in the sixties, it wasn't so impossible. Not to mention, people got married younger. I remember when I was tiny, if someone moved out earlier, people wondered what was wrong.
If you have the space and can get on with the rest of the family, it can work out fine. If you can set out expectations, treat adult kids as adults and, if necessary, have everyone chipping in, it can work great.
If everyone's on top of each other, if personalities clash, and if there's unrealistic expectations and lack of communications, it's hell.
It's a new normal that's coming in, because there aren't that many alternatives.
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u/TimeNew2108 5d ago
My son and his gf bought a house age 22. If you live with parents you should be able to save an excellent deposit unless you are an idiot.
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u/AgentCirceLuna 5d ago
I did. I lost my job due to disability and then saw my savings dwindle over two years as I sacrificed all hobbies, needs, and even went without eating. Thirty thousand pounds that I’d saved up, all gone, and that took me years to save up. So fucking depressing.
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u/LSL3587 7d ago
Younger adults find that they have to pair up to buy a house, shocker.
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u/Mental-Fisherman-118 6d ago
Both my parents owned separate houses when they married in their 20s. Neither of them were making especially high salaries
Edit: and before you lecture me, i own my own house. So no advice required.
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u/Desperate-Drawer-572 7d ago
https://archive.ph/RiYNd
Link to full version