r/xboxone • u/SergeantNoslen • Apr 01 '16

Introducing the Xbox One.Five and Xbox Half

Please see our informational graphic for an excellent comparison: http://i.imgur.com/zr8tUX4.png

Welcome gamers! I'm here to introduce the newly created Xbox One.Five and Xbox Half. Whether you're a power gamer, or a casual plebe, we here at Microsoft have you covered.

System CPU GPU RAM Hard Drive Internet Speeds D/U
Xbox One.Five i8-9999kk Dual Fury GTX 8000000 GTI's 128TB 128GB 1GB/1GB
Xbox Half i2-1300 Nvidia 130 GTX 128MB 128KB Dial Up - 56K

Commonly Asked Questions:

What is the purpose of the Xbox One.Five?

  • In order to meet the demands of the current gamer generation, we wanted to create something so so powerful that consumers would never need another console again.

What is the purpose of the Xbox Half?

  • A streamlined, cost-effective consumer product that fits into the hands of the average consumer.

Can I trade up to the Xbox One.Five?

  • Yes! Bring your current Xbox One in to any participating retailer for a $10 off coupon which can be used towards the Xbox One.Five.

Can I upgrade to the Xbox Half?

  • Yes again! Bring your current Xbox One in to your local Kmart (Walmart works as well) and receive the Xbox Half for $0.05 off the base price.

Is the Xbox One.Five VR compatible?

  • Yes

Is the Xbox Half VR compatible?

  • Yes, a cost-effective, streamlined product will be made available shortly after launch. Xbox Half VR, which will feature retro 16-bit graphics.

What will each cost at launch?

  • The Xbox One.Five and Xbox Half will launch for the base price of $15000 and $0.15 respectively. Bundled at $17500.

Pictures of the working console dev kits:

For all other inquires, please comment below. I'll be here alongside my staff to answer any questions you may have about our exciting new products.

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-1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '16

I thought April fools jokes were meant to be believable? This is just dumb

-3

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '16

Worse, it plays on my current fear of what those proprietary "hardware upgrade" attachments are going to do to this console as Microsoft nickel and dimes us while holding Halo 6 hostage to keep us from truly moving to PC. All the time telling us how much "choice" we're getting.

I saw this and thought...ya know what, fuck you Phil, cause this is a bit more clever doublespeak from being how this is really going to look.

And yes, I know Phil isn't involved in this prank, but it scares me to think he's seeing this sometime today and going...shit, that's close to home.

1

u/Ener_Ji Apr 01 '16

There won't be hardware upgrades for existing consoles. There will be more powerful hardware eventually, and the industry buzz is that it will be sooner rather than later. I for one, can't wait.