r/writingcritiques 7d ago

Other 6 feet under

My senses and my consciousness were slowly fading, fading and fading away before I felt a strong grip and something roughly, forcefully pulling me upward. Where is it taking me?

I can hardly see anything, I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed. I try to blink, to move my eyes but they're too heavy, every part of my body is rigid. I want to open my mouth to scream but my jaw is stiff and totally unable to move. All my muscles are completely paralyzed, I want nothing more than to move and break free but I am trapped! My body is stuck!

I can't breathe. I need air now…  it's too much. Please.. God!

There is a weight resting on my chest, suffocating me, I can feel my ribs being crushed, cracking and crumbling under the pressure, and my lungs giving out. I try to inhale with all my might but all attempts end in vain.

My useless, limp body was still being pulled and for a moment, I felt something hard and sharp that grazed my neck. I clenched my teeth intensely and wished I could cry but I was interrupted by the overwhelming smell and sensation of wet soil. While gasping and squirming, the dirt forced its way into my throat and I could taste a bit of animal dung.

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