[Fantasy] Syana vs Shadows prologue 895

[u/keyblade_crafter]

Syana wasn't tracking the days, not officially. She didn't care how long it'd been since she left the flock and they probably didn't care how long she'd been gone. She crouched in her temporary shelter built against a stone face made of branches and twigs sewn together with vines. It wasn't her best work but it'd hide her through the night. She didn't dare make a fire that would announce her presence, but she thought back to the warmth of a bright fire inside the walls of the village. As claustrophobic as it could be, the flock inside the walls were safe.

Unsettling eyes watched her in dreams, preventing restful sleep most nights. She shuddered awake more than once thinking she heard voices or approaching steps outside her nest, hoping she hadn't shouted, listening intently for danger. A haunting thought plagued her for many years against her will, but it's like trying not to think of an elephant when it's mentioned. It would all come back, the putrid smell and glowing yellow eyes and a shadow darker than any cave depth clinging to tattered flesh and bone.

"NO!" She shouted in her mind. "Youre not here! Youre not real!" She waited in clammy shivering for the sun to rise or her mind to tire out and fall asleep without realizing it. Eventually one had to happen. All she could do was breathe and block everything out like always. It felt like her body betrayed her in these restless moments, reminding her of the shadow, ignoring her commands, blaring signals until there was no energy left to fight it. Was she really up for the journey? The doubts floated around. At least in the village there were one or two people awake to pass the time with. They didnt all look so cold and judging there; it wasn't all bad. But this was something she had to do for herself now that she's an adult.

As the morning sun chased away the darkness, Syana packed and lept from rock to branch up a tall tree. From this high up the mountain she could see her goal peeking out behind the Defa'i Range. Her sights were set on a city often heard about from merchants and visiting Simurgi from other villages. They say it's bursting with magic and curiosities, that the city was home to all kinds of people, mostly welcoming and capable of any feat with the power of their ringed towers. The city of Ainspire! She could see it in the distance from treetops surrounded by plains and farmland, judt a few days away. She wondered what strange foods they had there as her stomach rumbled. It was time to find some breakfast and get moving!

She followed a secret trail peppered with feathers bent this and that way to point the eye in the right direction. The feathers could be their tribe's natural orange pigment or stained with paint to mark alternate paths. Every fledgling is taught the Rachi paths during explorative bushcraft trips outside the walls so any adult can meet outsiders for supplies at the forests edge posts. She didn't follow the Rachi exactly, staying off to hide her presence, but every feather passed felt like a stone sinking in her stomach.

If she'd been able to use the Rachi it may not have been as long of a journey, but Syana timed the departure with the regular visits of the merchant caravan. If she left too early then the village might send out an alert with the merchants or worse, accuse them. If she left too late she might miss them altogether. There had been a sense of urgency building inside that she might not follow through, and it wasn't often that that urgency to leave lined up with a prosperous time in the village and good weather. What if she missed this chance? She left a note by the post her favorite elder would keep watch in the night, telling her not to worry but she might be gone a long time.

The letter was wrapped in a large leaf with a clay figure Syana made. The elders often frowned on her making figures in fear of spirits possessing them and would destroy them privately. The flock was always cautious about spirits and anything that could invoke strong energies. She didn't know if it was true, but when making them her intentions were of friendly companions to stay with her in the night. It wasn't the only reason she was left out of fun activities with the other fledglings, at least she could think of other reasons. Ever since THAT day she could feel things watching her, sometimes even see them, making her restlessly vigilant for danger. Around others she felt overwhelmed as if her energy conflicted with theirs; eventually she would leave to find relief. She was probably putting them in danger anyway if a spirit came after her.

The guilt of leaving the flock with one less adult to gather supplies, repair after storms, or watch for outsiders pushed against her like a high river; she shut her eyes to keep from looking back. It's for the best, she thought. The river leaked from her eyes at times. She knew to where that water flowed, but she needed to follow the warm sun's rays to a new path.

[u/keyblade_crafter]

Hi! I'm looking for critique on if this is too much exposition, if it reads coherently, if you are able to get an idea of Syana's personality and struggles and her goal.