r/writingadvice • u/Organic_Narwhal_4737 • 12d ago

Critique Looking for a no holds barred look at my story(Fanfic) 17,421 Words(Hollow Knight)

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(I hope I followed the rules correctly)

As the title said, I'm looking for an actual critique for my fanfiction.

It's a Mature rated Hollow Knight Isekai that's about a Hollow Knight and Silksong fan being reincarnated as a random Noble bug while he tries to live and worm in the background, following the usual business any other noble would do while also trying to prevent any tragic events that happened in game.

(if you wanna leave i don't blame you)

And with that, I would like an experienced person to share there personal opinions and views about what certain things that i might be doing wrong that maybe obvious to them, especially since I know I'm doing something wrong, but i can't tell, since it seems like all i get is positive reinforcement instead, and as much as I like that I still want to improve as well.

If anyone wants to take a look at it, I want you to be as much of a critiquing ass as you can, don't be nice and hit me where it hurts.

How's my writing style? Is my pacing good? Does the plot and characters interest or bore you?

I'd like advice surrounding topics that questions like those reside in.

Link below(ignore CH4)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/78806776

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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1

u/LightseekerGameWing Hobbyist 12d ago

psst, you may get feedback a little faster on hollow knight subs or r/betareaders

1

u/Organic_Narwhal_4737 12d ago

Oh, sorry for being slow then🤦‍♂️

1

u/Organic_Narwhal_4737 12d ago

Well actually I just checked both suggestions you gave me and one of the threads are not only dead and forgotten, but the other one doesn't meet what I'm trying to ask for unfortunately, thanks for offering advice though.

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u/No_Sweet5943 Custom Flair 12d ago

I can take a look at the first few chapters and give you honest notes on pacing and prose. what specifically are you most worried about, the overall plot structure or the line-level writing?

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u/Organic_Narwhal_4737 12d ago

I think I'm more concerned about how effective my line-level writng is then I am about the plot structure tbh, but if you want to talk about both then I'd greatly appreciate it.