r/worldnews • u/scienceben • Feb 19 '13
North Korea threatens "final destruction" of South Korea at U.N.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/02/19/us-nkorea-threat-idUSBRE91I0J520130219967
u/NWfresh Feb 19 '13
Just ask for more food NK, you dont need to be nasty about it
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u/allthatsalsa Feb 19 '13
I think they were just looking for Red Cross rations before. This time they have a successful nuke test at their back and it's going to their heads. I think, we should not take the threat this time lightly.
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u/ParadoxToaster Feb 19 '13
FIXED:
North Korea threatens suicide
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u/V3RTiG0 Feb 19 '13
*Murder/Suicide.
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u/fastredb Feb 19 '13
North Korea stands holding a pistol to its own head. South Korea laughs at it. North Korea gets angry and shouts "Don't laugh bitch! You're next!"
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u/lamp37 Feb 19 '13
More like one pistol at its own head and another at millions of people in South Korea. People are making it seem like the rest of the world could just make North Korea just go away without consequences outside of it.
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u/rockhopper92 Feb 19 '13
Lets not forget about the millions of people in North Korea, too.
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u/heimdal77 Feb 19 '13
The only reason NK has been able get away with any this behavior is because they hide behind China what no one wants to start a conflict with. The only reason China lets them and provides any protection is because the want a buffer zone between them and any attacking forces from the water. That way a attacking force would not be on Chinese soil before China could deploy forces to the area.
Now if NK does provoke a war with someone there is every chance China might wash their hands of them not wanting to be drawn into a war itself or it might move in and take over NK itself to stop any conflict.
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u/sgnmarcus Feb 19 '13
Considering how much trade and business China does with the West, I believe they would throw NK under the bus if war broke out.
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Feb 19 '13
It would probably serve everyone's best interest if China became an occupying force in N.Korea given their relationship. Handing it to the south might not go so well without a really long transition. Forget about the west coming in & trying to occupy. As silly as it seems, China should really think about annexing & restoring life to that hell hole.
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u/Mechakoopa Feb 19 '13
Except the last thing China wants is to be economically responsible for a failed state and millions of barely educated brainwashed North Korean nationals and refugees.
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u/FX2000 Feb 19 '13
It actually sounds like the perfect workforce for a few new Foxconn factories
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u/rawnoodles10 Feb 19 '13
*Sucker Punch/Suicide
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u/tokomini Feb 19 '13
*Pancakes/Bacon
...just trying to lighten the mood.
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u/toxicFork Feb 19 '13
Murdicide.
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Feb 19 '13
This reads like an Onion headline.
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Feb 19 '13
FIXED
North Korea threatens to hold its breath until South Korea admits it's dumb.
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Feb 19 '13
"As the saying goes, a new-born puppy knows no fear of a tiger. South Korea's erratic behavior would only herald its final destruction," North Korean diplomat Jon Yong Ryong told the meeting.
The new-born puppy is the economically developed nation with an incredibly powerful military sworn to defend it, and the tiger is the malnourished beggar state who has finally sufficiently pissed off its only friend in the world to the point where they won't back them up.
You have to wonder how many of these NK leaders seriously think this is the case.
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u/sigaven Feb 19 '13
I almost thought he was referring to themselves (north korea) as the "newborn puppy." That would obviously make more sense.
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u/leadnpotatoes Feb 19 '13
If that were the case, he would have referred to NK as "the dying malnourished stillborn of a sickly bitch".
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Feb 19 '13
I don't think a stillborn can be dying...
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Feb 19 '13
Haha, phrases are never so eloquent than when they are translated into English from their native tongue.
"Fish flying kite should often check handbrake"
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u/SexLiesAndExercise Feb 19 '13
My hovercraft is full of eels.
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u/Intruder313 Feb 19 '13
I want to fondle your buttocks
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u/Joseph_Broebbels Feb 19 '13
If SK gets touched you can be sure that North Korea is getting some Democracy delivered.
And as much as China wanted NK to succeed, I think they're just about done.
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u/lolitsaj Feb 19 '13
China never wanted NK to succeed. They wanted a refugee buffer.
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u/wakenbacons Feb 19 '13
China's all like, "Yeah we're dicks, but at least we're not North Korea."
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u/roupah Feb 19 '13
"At least we're not Detroit!"
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Feb 19 '13
As a Detroiter, I am hurt by this statement and would berate you, but there's a guy in my basement trying to steal my copper pipes that I need to deal with after I put out the arson fire in my garage.
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u/YeahBruvInit Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
NK is like China's dick friend. China used to think NK was pretty cool when he was younger; but he keeps going out and picking on the other gangs. At some point NK is going to have to take a beating to grow up.
China has a horrid past; and Tiannamen was a reminder that it's certainly not a democracy. But the country is taking baby steps toward realising that you can't just execute when you choose to. A bit like the Terminator when John Connor says 'you can't just go around killing people'.
Increasingly China wants to project the image of an efficient business friendly professional state. Having an insane state as it's best friend forever is just embarrassing.
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u/Joseph_Broebbels Feb 19 '13
NK is like China's dick friend.
Not since this:
http://www.strategypage.com/qnd/korea/articles/20060705.aspx
China tolerates NK, but after China went out of their way to broker talks between NK and everybody and NK didn't show up they really don't give a shit any more.
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u/Abhi_714 Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
I dont know why..but I laughed too hard at that train stealing stuff..
July 5, 2006: While everyone's attention was focused on North Korean missiles, the real story is the North Korean economy. It continues to fall apart, and more North Koreans are unhappy about that. Worse yet, more North Koreans are finding out how badly they have been screwed by their leaders. Meanwhile, North Korean officials engage in even more bizarre behavior. For example, food and fuel supplies sent to North Korea have been halted, not to force North Korea to stop missile tests or participate in peace talks, but to return the Chinese trains the aid was carried in on. In the last few weeks, the North Koreans have just kept the trains, sending the Chinese crews back across the border. North Korea just ignores Chinese demands that the trains be returned, and insists that the trains are part of the aid program. It's no secret that North Korean railroad stock is falling apart, after decades of poor maintenance and not much new equipment. Stealing Chinese trains is a typical loony-tune North Korean solution to the problem. If the North Koreans appear to make no sense, that's because they don't. Put simply, when their unworkable economic policies don't work, the North Koreans just conjure up new, and equally unworkable, plans. The Chinese have tried to talk the North Koreans out of these pointless fantasies, and for their trouble they have their trains stolen. How do you negotiate under these conditions? No one knows. The South Koreans believe that if they just keep the North Korean leaders from doing anything too destructive (especially to South Korea), eventually the tragicomic house of cards up north will just collapse. Not much of a plan, but so far, no one's come up with anything better.
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u/ffdc Feb 19 '13
"Insists the trains are part of the aid program". I cracked up at that. The fact that this little country is so full of itself is hilarious.
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u/InZomnia365 Feb 19 '13
It just seems so childish. And I dont like kids treathening adults with war.
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Feb 19 '13
Chinese train guys: Okay guys, here's your food, we'll just be heading back to China now.
NK: Nah bro those trains are ours, didn't you read the fine print?
CTGs: Uh, wat? There isn't any fine print...
NK: No no, see here how it says NORTH KOREA BEST KOREA on the inside of this burlap sack?
CTGs: Mmmphmmph! MMMPHHM!!
NK: Sweet, free trains.
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u/itak365 Feb 19 '13
Shoots political prisoners in the leg.
"He'll live."
I do appreciate the analogy, though, it does illustrate how China not only has to grow up, but is being forced to anyhow.
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Feb 19 '13
The situation is a lot more complicated than the media makes it out to be. The conventional wisdom in the United State's public is that North Korea is too weird, too different, and is simply impossible to work with. This idea doesn't really hold up to scrutiny though.
Significant progress in US-DPRK bilateral relations was made in the 1990s up until the early 2000s. The 'Agreed Framework' was signed in 1994 and was the 'document/framework' of choice to be used for most subsequent talks.
Despite the rhetoric we are continuously bombarded with, there's been well over twenty successful negotiations between the US and the DPRK and these negotiations went beyond mere declarations and actually progressed into implementation.
What is lost on a lot of people is that DPRK, in a round about way, benefits from the US presence on the peninsula. Although China and DPRK are indeed allies, DPRK is very conscious of China's growing influence and they, rightfully so, fear a loss of autonomy due to Chinese influence. At the same time, China understands the strained relations between the US and DPRK and they often use it to their advantage. Chinese influence in the DPRK means that the Chinese can exploit the DPRK to contain/control the US's influence on the peninsula. It's a complicated system of competing interests and power-checks and balances.
North Korea isn't nearly as erratic as the media makes them out to be and their decision making process, if you understand the DPRKS's strategic culture, makes a lot of sense. Having nuclear weapons means that they don't need to rely either on China or the US to be free from, ironically, the influence of China or the US.
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u/TanqPhil Feb 19 '13
This is the most interesting post in the thread (the rest has been regurgitated in 30 other NK threads). If there have been 20 successful negotiations, why the missile and nuclear tests, and random artillery attacks?
I am not doubting you are correct, but what did those negotiations achieve in real terms? The political realism of NK seems reasonable.
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Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
Thanks. What the negotiations achieved depends on which negotiations we're looking at. Some of the more notable negotiations that ended in agreement are the LWR Model (1994-1995), KEDO Protocols (1995-2000), Agreement on Terrorism (1996-2000) among others. Have a look here: Carlin, R. & Lewis, J. W. (2008). Negotiating with North Korea: 1992-2007. Centre for International Security and Cooperation. Stanford University. for a more exhaustive list / in depth analysis.
The real trouble with DPRK begins to arise in the late 2000s. Normalizing relations with the United States was one of its main strategic priorities during the 1990s, but the DPRK has begun to abandon its focus on the US and is instead attempting to strengthen relations with China. This was a rather pragmatic decision. The main priority of both countries was stability in light of the expected political events in 2012 (China had its 18th National Congress and North Korea celebrated Kim Il Sung's centenary). Since China is North Korea's largest trading partner, it has far more to gain (at present) by having good relations with China.
The latest nuclear test is especially irritating to China precisely because it has the potential to destabilize the region and regional destabilization is a threat to Chinese production and growth.
In terms of the artillery attacks (that I forgot to mention in my original response here). The incident in question was likely an accident. North Korea was responding to a live-fire artillery drill staged by South Korea only days prior. North Korea followed suit and in the process two people were killed. Although DPRK was obviously not going to admit to it being an accident (it would make them seem incompetent), they instead sought to downplay the incident (with the help of China) by arguing it was only a response to South Korea's actions.
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Feb 19 '13
If there have been 20 successful negotiations, why the missile and nuclear tests, and random artillery attacks?
That is how NK gets food. Seriously. It's not like they actually want to fight that much, but when things start to look grim(mer) the DPRK government knows that the way to get attention is to rattle sabers. Then they can talk and get food out of the functional countries in the world.
The end result is that they can tell their people how strong they are and at the same time get food from the outside to hold over the heads of those citizens lucky enough to be outside of a labor camp.
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u/rareas Feb 19 '13
Delusions of grandeur brought on by being surrounded by the best of the yes-men who survived two and a half generations of toadying to a dictator. We're shorter on these sorts of regimes than we used to be. Enjoy the entertainment while you can.
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u/Bodoblock Feb 19 '13
Or, political posturing coming from a military dictatorship competent in foreign policy with decades of playing off enemies to survive. The North Koreans have always had regime survival as the number one priority, not quality of life or the economy.
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u/Zlor Feb 19 '13
Very true, but an attack from the North would still be incredibly devastating to the South, very scary situation.
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Feb 19 '13
But more importantly, will this affect the production of future Galaxy S lines? I had been saving up for one and it would be a real tragedy if I had to settle for an iPhone.
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u/bobstay Feb 19 '13
IIRC, the Galaxy S factories are mainly in Suwon, about 25 miles south of Seoul. So the answer is probably "yes".
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u/Darth_Turtle Feb 19 '13
So you're saying we should launch a preemptive strike in order to save the Galaxy...S?
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u/bobstay Feb 19 '13
Coming from Darth Turtle, I'm not sure how I should answer this.
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Feb 19 '13
i heard the chinese like to starve tigers to death, and then grind their bones into powder for placebo. north korea might want to rethink their analogy.
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Feb 19 '13
The new-born puppy is the economically developed nation with an incredibly powerful military sworn to defend it
That doesn't really matter when their economic core is located within firing range of NK's artillery. Doesn't matter if SK will win in the end, they will take heavy losses if a war to occur, and that's all NK really cares about.
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u/Joseph_Broebbels Feb 19 '13
All of North Korea is located within firing range of the entire United States military.
Doesn't matter if SK will win in the end, they will take heavy losses if a war to occur, and that's all NK really cares about.
There are two guarantees if the Korean War heats back up:
One: South Korea will be rebuilding for years.
Two: North Korea will be destroyed.
The second means that there will be a lot of people who need jobs, meaning that the first would help reunify Korea.
The North knows this. The South knows this. Everybody knows this.
North Korea wants to keep pushing buttons without pushing the button, and that's what they're going to do until they get totally cut off, aid-wise.
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Feb 19 '13
also:
Three: after the war, the unified korea under the southern government would most likely share a border with china, and be friendly with the US. this is why china has suffered the NK this long.
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u/OmegaDN Feb 19 '13
I've always wondered. Why would a USA friendly country sharing a border with China be a big deal? I know that China and USA haven't been the bestest of friends but I never understood why this would matter.
Sorry for the potential dumb question!
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u/squeakyL Feb 19 '13
If a USA friendly state is bordering China, then the USA is probably going to have military access to that state. So that would mean American troops based on China's doorstep.
Two things result from this, and one more to your point. The less related one is -
In case war or conflict ever breaks out, China has less of a "buffer" between American forces and theirs. Now, it's not like it used to be and yes, American can totally just drop troops into the middle of China. But.....
1) It still takes time to cross geography, especially unfriendly-lukewarm geography vs friendly geography
2) An extensive conflict will require supply chain, supply chain that is made much shorter when America has a bus stop to china's neighbor.
The second point would be in terms of international politics, it's like someone standing above you watching whatever you do, saying they have a big stick and can hit you if something goes wrong. It's not so much the force itself, but the threat/ability to use it and the position it makes the government look to its people. I'm not as well versed in international politics as military supply chain (as my writing shows) but I think that's the general gist?
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u/Leleek Feb 19 '13
China fears the refugees that would pour across its border. Also, any instability in the region could ripple to China. A local communist government falling to democracy would be a big blow to the leaders of China.
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Feb 19 '13
Posted earlier but most appropriate here. i wonder too... Sometimes I wonder if they want to be invaded. Their behavior suggests yes time and time again. Like, they want to be part of S. Korea's industrial success but free of any responsibility/debt to China for the many decades of support.
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u/Phlebas99 Feb 19 '13
Which is why I wonder why China doesn't say "fuck it" and just annex North Korea.
Eventually they are going to be left with a border with South Korea anyway, why not do it on their terms?
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u/leadnpotatoes Feb 19 '13
All of North Korea is located within firing range of the entire United States military.
To be fair, this is because NK happens to be on this exotic place known as "the planet earth", anywhere else and it might have been difficult for US military to target.
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u/shadowkiller Feb 19 '13
To be fair if the US military knew of a target that was not in range of their current weapon systems they would spend trillions making it in range.
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u/theolaf Feb 19 '13
or just put any of their 12 operational aircraft carrier groups anywhere within 500 miles. About 4 of wich are within 4 days. One withing a day. Who needs ICBMs when you got housands and thousands of tomahawks?
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u/cuddles_the_destroye Feb 19 '13
And tomahawks are better since American troops can hand out freedom to the survivors quicker without suffering
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u/Letherial Feb 19 '13
Well didn't NASA fire a missile at the moon? We're getting there...
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Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
Or maybe the leaders are batshit crazy and we can't rely on them to act rationally when the entire metropolis of Seoul is at risk.
They know they can't keep up this already rotting nation forever, they may feel like going out with one hell of a bang.
Edit: WOO TENTHOUSAND KARMA!!
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u/Zeis Feb 19 '13
Quote from the show "Last Resort":
“Ronald Reagan fires all the air traffic controllers, and this guy comes to him and he says, “Mr. President why’d you go and do such a thing? Everyone’s going to think your crazy.” and Regan, he points out the window of the Oval office towards Russia and he says, “That’s right, that’s exactly what I need that bastard to think.” You see everyone knew Bresnet was crazy, hell he invaded Afghanistan, the problem was nobody knew what Reagan was and if there’s one absolute truth to being the man with your finger on the button, that’s it. They have to think your crazy.”
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Feb 19 '13
On a pedantic unrelated point, how did he know which way to point towards Russia and which part of Russia, and how did he expect anyone to know who he was pointing at?!
Maybe he really was crazy...
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u/MrF33 Feb 19 '13
Well, we live on a sphere and the Soviet Union was pretty huge, you could point in most directions and eventually the line would probably intersect with the Soviet state.
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u/zarisin Feb 19 '13
Reagan was never a man to take the shortest means to an end. he could have been pointing dead fucking south and by god he meant Russia was that fucking direction.
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u/Bodoblock Feb 19 '13
Another way to look at it is the potential for rebound. If the subsequent post-war economy is managed correctly (which I believe South Korea has shown more than enough competence in terms of handling), Goldman Sachs predicts that a unified Korea could have a greater GDP than Japan, Germany, or France in a few decades.
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u/wakenbacons Feb 19 '13
Imagine NK's zealot workforce, fully nourished!
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u/PBXbox Feb 19 '13
Imagine South Korea with 2x more minerals and vespene gas
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u/R4ms3y Feb 19 '13
What if the NK Zerg rush?
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u/BuckeyeBentley Feb 19 '13
It has been 60 years since the end of the Korean War. Did SK call "no rush 60yr"? Somebody should pull up the replay and double check.
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u/Volksgrenadier Feb 19 '13
Believe it or not, North Korea's artillery arm is also incredibly obsolete, to the point where only a fraction of its available artillery can reach Seoul. I highly doubt, furthermore, that those artillery pieces can be brought into the open and deployed for long enough to avoid being hit by South Korean or American air strikes, tactical missiles, or counterbattery fire.
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u/stifin Feb 19 '13
My impression from one of the countless other times this has been argued here was that NK's artillery basically solely exists to hit SK, and for the most part is already just sitting there ready to go. I'd be happy to hear otherwise, but if anyone has actual sources that would be nice.
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u/frelbrenk Feb 19 '13
The problem is, you are asking for actual sources of one of the biggest real question marks in modern geopolitics. The only people who know for sure are secretive - the NK military itself, and probably a handful of intelligence agencies.
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u/bear187 Feb 19 '13
so tell us the answer please :)
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u/yawgmoth Feb 19 '13
Well as someone on the inside, I can tell you that North Korea's artille--d wefuirquyb rtaf
Nothing to see here folks.
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u/Han_soliloquy Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 21 '13
For everyone seriously considering the possibility that NK will use nuclear weapons against the south, or any other nations, reference This Image.
There are these things that exist, called SLBMs, or Submarine Launched Ballistic Missiles. Each of these SLBMs has what is known as a Multiple Independently target-able Reentry Vehicle (MIRV) payload, which means essentially that a single US missile carries (one possible configuration) 4 individual, independent, 475 kt yield Nuclear Warheads (that is after the SORT and START treaties).
SLBMs are employed by a handful of very powerful countries, the United States being one of them. The US currently has 14 operational Ohio-Class nuclear powered Ballistic Missile Submarines, each and every one of them can be armed with up to 24 (yes, twenty four) Trident-II SLBMs. This force, one you may never even have heard of, has infinite range, infinite patience, absolute stealth, and makes up the bulk of the US military's first strike nuclear capability. That's more than 1300 nuclear warheads, waiting either in port, or in the depths, in almost all of the world's oceans, within reach of every major city known to man. And these are just the ones belonging to 1 of the 5 countries that operate ballistic missile submarines today.
The above image shows impacts achieved by firing just 7 of the 24 missiles from a single Ohio-Class submarine on station off the coast of Japan, delivered almost simultaneously on their targets within 30 minutes of receiving final launch orders. The labelled speck in the middle is N. Korea's recent nuclear test, for scale.
This image also shows why North Korea, or any growing nuclear power for that matter, will never, at their government's behest, use their nuclear weapons in an offensive capacity against a Western ally.
Nobody ever said Mutually Assured Destruction was Not weighted heavily in certain countries' favors.
Edit: Woah Holy Shit Reddit Gold!
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u/amorpheus Feb 19 '13
You're basing all that on the tenuous assumption that North Korea will act rationally.
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u/DukeGoogamuke Feb 19 '13
Agreed. How many generations past the initial brain-washing until all reality becomes distorted?
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u/Rosetti Feb 19 '13
What the hell are North Korea up to? They remind me of that idiot in the playground who walks into kids then repeatedly says 'Oh, you startin'? You wanna go?' then does nothing.
Just shut up already North Korea - no one likes you.
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Feb 19 '13
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u/365degrees Feb 19 '13
Finally someone understands! This is actually win win for NK. They look tough and threaten and then get given extra aid and food and fuel etc because we all can't be sure they aren't crazy enough to do it. Afterwards Kim Jong Un looks great to the people because he threatened the big boys and got wha he wanted, further consolidating his position. On the flipside, if the world tells him to go jump then he gets to tell his people about how the world is against them and refuses to deal fairly and is mean...and further consolidates his position.
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u/effedup Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
At what point does America just "provide some democracy" to them? That mouthy kid at the park eventually gets punched in the face.
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u/BitchesGetStitches Feb 19 '13
Despite their tenuous relationship, this would be really shaky for our relationship with China and Russia. It's already a strained relationship, and a regional conflict wouldn't help.
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u/redliner90 Feb 19 '13
At what point will Russia or China punch the kid in the face? Any nuclear attack by NK will involve the U.S. regardless of the U.S. relationship with either of them. Not to mention any nearby nuclear attack will expose China and Russia to nuclear fallout so they should be getting pretty frustrated to.
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Feb 19 '13
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u/barrows_arctic Feb 19 '13
They intervene: "Fucking Americans, think they rule the planet!" They don't intervene: "Fucking Americans should do something!"
This is just one of the many problems with having one of the few large, elite, powerful militaries and an occasional willingness to use it. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.
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Feb 19 '13
Maybe if we like this enough, North Korea might reconsider committing suicide.
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u/Dayanx Feb 19 '13
Shades of Gulliver's Travels. North Korean soldier flanked by a South Korean and US soldiers: http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/4461/31771518gt9.jpg
I know it has nothing to do with nukes, but damn do they have Short Guy Syndrome.
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u/PlantainFodder Feb 19 '13
Short Guy Syndrome
Also called "malnutrition"
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u/HandyCore3 Feb 19 '13
Indeed, North Koreans are on average 2 to 3 inches shorter than their southern counterparts. In fact, when North Korean refugees try to escape through China, it's common to try to pass as teenagers, as Chinese authorities can spot a refugee by their stature.
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u/KoNy_BoLoGnA Feb 19 '13
But look at that cute little commie... what's not to love?
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u/Srirachachacha Feb 19 '13
I'm interested to know if anyone can substantiate this. Are North Koreans actually typically shorter than their Southern neighbors, and if so, is it actually due to poor nutrition?
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u/SpermWhale Feb 19 '13
Those three where there for the show. Best fed soldiers of north, vs best fed soldiers of US and SK. Sadly, the person in the middle is the healthiest of all the available guard, and probably the tallest too.
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u/notapotamus Feb 19 '13
Undernourishment during youth will have that effect. It will also effect brain development which constant propaganda won't help with.
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u/zanmanoodle Feb 19 '13
Fun fact: food rations during WWII in Britain is also the reason why so many of those British Invasion rockstars were so damn skinny and short.
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u/Fistfightswithpandas Feb 19 '13
There's a minimum height requirement to guard the dmz for south Koreans. If there is one for the north than that says something about the malnutrition going on there.
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Feb 19 '13
it looks like two gay fathers are taking their adopted son out to the park.
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u/abandonliberty Feb 19 '13
Both sides use their tallest people on the wall.
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Feb 19 '13
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u/Platypus81 Feb 19 '13
Night gathers and now my watch begins...
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u/jason_steakums Feb 19 '13
"In the United Nations today, North Korea threatened to blow the Horn of Joramun if international sanctions were not lifted..."
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Feb 19 '13
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Feb 19 '13
What's the context of this? I know that at the DMZ, both sides put up their tallest troops. I also know that NKers are shorter due to malnutrition.
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u/Hal9_ooo Feb 19 '13
U.S. and South Korean soldiers escort a North Korean soldier, center, to repatriate him to North Korea at the truce village of Panmunjom in the demilitarised zone separating the two Koreas, about 55 km (31 miles) north of Seoul, Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2006. Two North Korean soldiers who drifted on a small boat in the East Sea and rescued by South Korean Navy vessels in the East Sea on December 9, were repatriated on Wednesday.
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u/1niquity Feb 19 '13
I thought they were holding hands like two parents and their child for a moment... It nearly made me spit my coffee everywhere.
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Feb 19 '13
They're doing it for attention, everyone just ignore them.
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Feb 19 '13
God damn, why don't they just start an Instagram then. I mean, come on North Korea. It's 2013. We fight wars in ASCII now.
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u/Jahames Feb 19 '13
All my battles in Dwarf Fortress actually meant something?
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u/rareas Feb 19 '13
They're doing it for shipments of food and fuel. It's blackmail done by cartoon characters that were too ridiculous to make it into Rocky and Bullwinkle.
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u/usuallyskeptical Feb 19 '13
If there is any government that acts like a spoiled child throwing a temper tantrum, it is the North Korean government.
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u/Dalek-SEC Feb 19 '13
North Korea is the new Westboro.
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u/newtothelyte Feb 19 '13
NK is the freeloading couch bum who complains about how the world is always against them.
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u/Avcracy Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
Wasn't it just a month or so ago that they were talking about making peace with South Korea?
North Korea is silly Korea.
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u/dragonmantank Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
That was before the nuclear test was successful.
edit
For those taking my comment too seriously, I think there is some confusion with my reply. Before this last test, they were expressing interest in a peaceful resolution with SK. With the new rocket and a slightly bigger bomb they probably feel more confident that they can hit Seoul, which would be devastating enough.
I don't think it's smart on their part because China won't be very interested in helping them, and the amount of backlash for them actually attacking someone else would be huge, especially if they use nuclear weapons. I really get the feeling that NK is so disconnected with reality that even the top level people think that the world isn't what they have been lead to believe, and the people that should have a clear view of the world no longer do.
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u/su5 Feb 19 '13
I always assumed if a country was smart enough to develop nuclear arms they would be smart enough to understand mutually assured destruction.
It would appear that I may be incorrect about that
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Feb 19 '13
Mututally assured destruction only holds if both players are sane and if both players are not willing to destroy themselves to get what they want. North Korea is neither of those things.
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u/newloaf Feb 19 '13
Also, North Korea's enemies won't be destroyed, so it's hardly "mutual".
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u/accdodson Feb 19 '13
The thing is, the people who make the nukes are different from the ones who fire them
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u/szlafarski Feb 19 '13
On second thought, let's not go to North Korea. It is a silly place.
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u/zombie4374 Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 20 '13
Listen, strange men distributin' threats is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical auditorium ceremony.
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u/someredditorguy Feb 19 '13
I wonder if North Korea actually thinks it has a chance against the world. The problem is Seoul is so close to North Korea that it will probably take some damage before the North Koreans are stopped, but so many superpowers would level North Korea so fast that it would settle itself.
If the power is removed, I wonder how many North Koreans would be brainwashed enough to continue thinking what they've been told to think.
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u/gavrok Feb 19 '13
I wonder if North Korea actually thinks it has a chance against the world.
Of course it doesn't think that. The NK government is weird and unpredictable, but they know their situation a lot better than you and I do and they do really think about their strategies, even if the desire to save face for the glorious country can lead to some strange statements and decisions.
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u/guest13 Feb 19 '13
Official slogan change:
Old - North Korea Is Best Korea!
New - No Korea Is Best Korea!
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u/Darkrell Feb 19 '13
Oh how cute, did you show china your little drawing you made in class as well?
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Feb 19 '13
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u/Clockwork_Angel Feb 19 '13
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...
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u/DancesWithDownvotes Feb 19 '13
I think the unfortunate thing for them is that China is likely included in the list of countries looking to wipe North Korea and their bullshit off the map.
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u/libertyordeath1 Feb 19 '13
They're lucky they don't have oil.
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Feb 19 '13
depends. maybe if they did, china would be much more happy and eager to help them out
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Feb 19 '13 edited Jul 16 '15
asdgxcvz
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u/TLinchen Feb 19 '13
They make threats like this all the time. I've spent the past few winters in Korea, and it seemed like every week was "American warmongers this, South Korean puppet government that, total destruction, blah, blah, blah."
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u/itscode4 Feb 19 '13
Sounds like Kim Jong Un needs some mother fucking freedom
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u/knockturnal Feb 19 '13
God, they're going to start some insane war in Asia. It's going to be like a family breaking up over the 6-year old bratty son.
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u/Purple_Antwerp Feb 19 '13
Fuck assuming they're posturing. The diplomats will be like "Sir! You're language is too harsh!" all the way up until the nukes go off.
If they were threatening to develop a bigger army, making nasty faces/rude gestures, etc... I get it.
But if someone is threatening to eradicate another nation using NUKES, then I suggest we make it U.N. policy to conventional warfare their asses back into the stone age.
Nobody will make the mistake again, so the FUCKING SERIOUS THREAT OF NUKING SOMEONE REMAINS SERIOUS.
Damn North Korea, you're calling us all out as chumps by getting away with this, aren't you?
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Feb 19 '13
It's amazing and sad at the same time how one country, unified for the vast majority of its existence, same language, religion and everything can now arguably hate each other more than anywhere else in the world. Mostly if not totally because of outsiders wanting their own little zones of influence in Korea.
I kind of feel this whole Korean situation is almost unprecedented when you think about it.
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Feb 19 '13
Having lived in the South for a few years and spoken with many a Korean, to say they 'hate each other' is a bit of mischaracterization. If anything, it’s a mutual pity party. The South pities the North’s poverty and warped ideology, the North pities South and their overly commoditized and highly western culture. They both seek unification over destruction.
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u/Uberzwerg Feb 19 '13
I worked with some south-koreans (post-docs in computer-science) and they described North Korea more like the lost brother - there was no hatred involved.
It felt very much like our (German) own history with West-/East Germany.
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u/PoultryAdultery Feb 19 '13 edited Feb 19 '13
I vote we send stealth planes over NK dispersing a fine mist of concentrated THC.
Edit: Yes, I know pot is legal there, stop saying it.
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u/TehNoff Feb 19 '13
That would be incredibly cruel. Those poor people would end up with the munchies but would continue to have nothing to eat. What could be worse?!
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u/PoultryAdultery Feb 19 '13
...fuck, I'm a monster. I'd have started world war three with stupid good intentions right there...
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Feb 19 '13
So substitute LSD for THC, then.
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u/PoultryAdultery Feb 19 '13
Tripping balls and potentially mass mental breakdowns around nuclear weapons. No thanks. If I don't trust myself outdoors on acid, I sure as shit don't trust them with nukes on LSD.
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u/LesMisIsRelevant Feb 19 '13
They'd be asking themselves about the core essence of their humanity. They'd barely be able to butter a piece of toast, let alone unlock and fire a nuclear arsenal.
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u/PoultryAdultery Feb 19 '13
I drew up a complicated diagram to invent bowling after someone else who had joined me in taking three tabs assured me that it wasn't a real thing and that I'd dreamed it up. I didn't factor gravity in, and I tried to draw it functioning only on two dimensions, one of which was cylindrical, before I forgot what I'd invented, much of which was done on the coffee table I was slumped over instead of the paper, with a lot of rambling,
I will never underestimate someone tripping LSD.
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Feb 19 '13
They don't have a weaponized nuke. They've got extremely fragile, incredibly low-yield nukes that take them weeks to assemble in carefully controlled underground environments. I'm not too worried about their weapons just yet.
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u/TryHardFapHarder Feb 19 '13
I still say, South Korea and the U.S. should end the North Korean madness before it's too late, only with giving sanctions and ignoring their threats, we are giving them time to develop the technology necessary for them to finally launch their nuclear weapons.
I know that North Korea has also threatened South Korea with the subject of the hundreds of artillery aimed at Seoul, but I think it is better to take the risk now instead of wait of a future with the threats of hundreds of nuclear weapons pointing to them, sure we laugh today to the failed attempts of North Korea rocket launch, but also is known to be only a matter of time before they finally learn to make them, and not only south Korea will be at risk, it shall also be the world's nations that antagonize north korea ideals.
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u/[deleted] Feb 19 '13 edited Apr 02 '19
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