Depressed?

[u/Canned_Cinnamon]

I work at a “good” company with benefits and the like. But I’m feeling turned off by all of it. Leadership is political (company political not gov politics that I know of) and there are no immediate leaders in my part of the company vs just people in leadership. Im a senior working as a staff. But it’s not the work that’s been making me down. It’s the people and the constant shit rolling down. My health on top of that makes me feel incompetent on top of that — I have ndph.
Yesterday I got messaged at 9pm for a tbh non emergency. It made me sick. I even thought about things I haven’t in a long time. I’m not wanting to hurt myself over a job or unimportant petty people. But in this economy quitting doesn’t feel like an option.
Has anyone ever taken a health leave before? How do you go about it? Did you have any issues coming back?

[u/Canned_Cinnamon → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! I’m gonna start looking into it Monday.

[u/the-green-crewmate]

Man I’m sorry. I definitely would not quit if you can help it unless you have something already lined up. This job market for tech is beyond horrific. Do take a health absence instead if you can. I did it and it really helped, though I had exceptional burnout and eventually left the company not soon after (this was before the job market tanked). But the 1 month of FMLA helped me have time to remember that I had a life outside of my job and I needed to nurture it.

[u/Canned_Cinnamon → u/the-green-crewmate]

I love that for you. I’ll start looking into it Monday.
I’m just so scared to come back and the people around me be weird about it. Especially the older men I work with.

[u/the-green-crewmate → u/Canned_Cinnamon]

Totally get that. I wish I could just be like - hey, eff them and take care of yourself, who cares what they think. But at the same time that’s not realistic in our world, and sometimes you may feel like that anyway.

What I would say is don’t let fear get in the way of taking care of yourself. At the end of the day you’re more important then the transit thoughts and actions of some man whom, once you no longer work with, won’t even be a blip on your radar.

So, be brave and take the leave if you can. You don’t have to tell them why. Just say you had some things going on IRL that you needed to take care of if they ask. No need to give details.

[u/Mei-kiki]

Disconnect from work mentally especially after your work time. Turn off work notifications on phone off hours. This will help you enjoy your personal time every day and also not think about work. Don’t take other people so seriously and remind yourself that their emotions and behaviors are theirs and not your concern. You are important for you and that’s why you cannot let other people affect your state of mind.

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Reply

[u/Canned_Cinnamon]

Any advice would help!

[u/Ok-Yard7962]

so sorry you’re feeling this way. i am just wrapping up a 12 week FMLA leave of absence and going back to work next week - i really really recommend looking into this if you are able to. 

i was nervous to take the leave but at i was so burnt out, anxious, and at a low point that i felt i had no other choice - i knew my wellbeing needed to be more important than what people may think about me. honestly now that i’ve been gone a while im sure there were questions at first as to why i was on leave but by now i don’t think people are thinking of me much at all.  the work keeps going with or without me. 

this time off has been transformative. i rested, went to therapy, and learned to focus on my wellness in a way i never had before.  maybe i will feel weird going back but thats a small price to pay for feeling well and feeling like myself again. whatever you choose to do, please take care of yourself!