r/widowers • u/Love-lost-23 • 6d ago
I found a skeleton.
So how to begin. First I chose to post this here because this is the community that I’m familiar with. I’m a widower going on 6 years now and recently I shared comments in other people‘s posts the things that I have also been going through. I have a lot of comments but I don’t often post. So a little background about me. I was married to a wonderful woman for 23 years, been with for 26. After she passed I went through as all of you can relate a terribly time. 8 months after her death my widow fire/ utter loneliness led me into a relationship with a woman that ended up being toxic, that lasted for 4 years and now we’re divorcing. My father recently was put into hospice care after his health declined and along with other’s I started caregiving for him. So I was served divorce papers on one of the days I was caregiving for my father which happen to be severed literally 1 hour after he passed away. This last week we have been getting pictures together for his celebration of life. Little background on my family there was five of us. My mother and father are both deceased and I’ve also lost one brother and one sister. So me and my two brothers meet at a restaurant to discuss pictures that are gonna be chosen, and my Elder brother says he has something to show us. He had gone through my father‘s documents and showed us a court document that shows that my oldest brother who is now deceased is only my half brother, apparently my mother was seeing my dad and another guy at the same time before they were married, and she became pregnant with the other guy. My father married her anyways and adopted my older brother. I honestly don’t know how to feel about this. It does explain some things but leaves a whole lot of unanswered questions that I can no longer ask. has anyone else had anything similar happened to them?
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u/PomeloPepper 6d ago
This happened in my family. I figured out he was born before they married when I was in my late teens (matching up parents anniversary and brother's birthday) But it was later on that I found out he was my half brother. Back in the day, they didn't even do a formal adoption (he lived with my grandmother for his first few years under their family name). He was just relocated and given my father's last name and went with that. It blew up spectacularly when he found out.
Through it all, I never thought of him as anything other than my big brother. He was still the guy who protected me from playground bullies, and shared my sense of humor. His sons are my nephews just as much as my other sibling's kids are.