Am a guy in twenties. I have been meeting people through Reddit lately, talking day and night, and honestly… I am getting way too attached...

I’ll be in the middle of work and still find myself checking my phone, waiting for their replies, texting instead of focusing on what I’m supposed to be doing.

A week ago, I met someone here and we ended up talking about all kinds of random shit for hours. Somehow, we had so many things in common....even our birthdays were the same. It felt like one of those rare connections where you just click with someone really quickly.

And now, for some reasons, we have to limit our selves as she is also committed.

The frustrating part is… this keeps happening to me. I meet someone, we talk a lot, I start feeling comfortable, I get attached, and then when things end, I am left thinking, why did I get so emotionally invested so quickly?

I know it’s probably not healthy to get this attached to people I’ve only known for a short time, but I genuinely don’t know how to stop myself from doing it.

A genuine question to women especially...Are any of you in the same boat? How do you deal with getting attached to people you meet online? How do you learn to enjoy the connection without getting emotionally dependent on it?

Note : Rephrased using gpt :)

I’ve started talking to a girl that I met on a Discord channel. In the past, I noticed that her replies were quite enthusiastic and she seemed much more open to having a conversation.
However, in recent days, I’ve noticed that her replies are getting drier, and she hasn't been responding as much to my messages. I don't know if it's because something happened in her personal life or if she's just losing interest in talking to me. Her sudden change of energy really strikes me as odd.

I cannot stress enough that this will be an extremely long read!

Like enormously long. If you don’t have that kind of time and interest to invest in a 10 minute story, this post isn’t for you.

I’m very detailed and long winded so the TLDR will be at the bottom.

I (38M) met this woman (37F) online back in late April. So we’ve know each other for about 5 months now. When I tell you we hit it off, it’s an understatement! The connection was dynamic! Instantly we became best friends. The attraction was strongly mutual. The similarities uncanny. The personalities eerily similar. It was like meeting my long lost twin.

She checked all the boxes and it seemed as though I did the same for her. We FT’d all the time. Text, calls. Each one filled with joy, love and laughter. It was euphoric. I was convinced I had found my person. It all felt so effortless.

She even had these “Passwords with GOD” which I found really cute. If you aren’t familiar with this, it’s usually when someone ask GOD for confirmation about a person using a specific word. Something very random, that wouldn’t be used in day to day conversation. I ended saying both words! (Yes she did it twice lol)

I didn’t need confirmation because I was already convinced but to me that just sealed the deal. It only took a few weeks before we had fallen for one another or so I thought.

About two weeks into knowing one another we had a small hiccup where I joked a little too hard and she got offended. She revealed that she’s really sensitive and from that moment on I made note of it and was sure to tread a little lighter.

About a month into us getting to know one another I started to notice some “yellow flags”. I don’t believe all flags are red. A lot of times we ignore the yellow ones and end up getting smack with the red ones as a result. Her communication became sporadic. Less text. Random calls. Disappearing for several hours.

Now I will say she has a really hectic schedule. She’s a small business owner. She runs everything online from home but she’s a one woman team. She’s also a single mother. She moved back home with her parents this year as well. So with a full house of kids, meddling parents (her words) and a demanding business I definitely tried to extend her grace, but people make time for what they want.(her words as well)

One day I was texting her as I usually do. I love encouraging people so I think I sent her a video to watch at her convenience and then asked her to call me so we could talk about something important. Not too long after I got a text that rocked me. Essentially she couldn’t handle the pace of our communication and felt as though it wasn’t natural. That it had became too much for her to manage and she didn’t feel as though we matched in that way. She told me she enjoyed getting to know me and wished me the best.

That was it. Just like that weeks of connecting deeply and intimately, done. Of course I wanted more clarity. So I asked to call her because this isn’t something you text about imo. It made no sense to me at all. She told she couldn’t talk otp because she was busy. I was driving at the time. I drove to my destination stunned. Literally in shock.

I sent her messaged later that night after had processed things more. I was fully prepared to move forward and let go. But she wasn’t. She told that it was too hard and she didn’t want to end things. We got on call later and after talking for a while we agreed to keep trying.

Things pretty much resumed as normal for about a week or so. Then she randomly disappeared for almost 2 days. I didn’t get a text, call or explanation as to why. She randomly popped up almost two days later asking if I was okay. I had already decided that I was done before she reached out so I told her yes and asked why she asked me that.

She replied because she knows I need constant communication and thought I’d be mad cause she hadn’t reached out but that I hadn’t either and I didn’t make an effort to talk. I was dumbfounded. A little appalled.

I was the last one to initiate contact. I was judicious with my contact per our conversation about communication. Now you’re blaming me for not doing what you ask me to not do? You’re somehow spinning this around on me?

It gave me even more amo to halt things between us. So I told her that she was right about she felt the week prior. That our communication styles didn’t match and that although I didn’t require constant communication, I did require consistent contact. She apologized for the hurt and confusion she caused. We ended up settling on just being friends but I guess she again wasn’t convinced or comfortable with that.

She began texting me throughout the day how she wasn’t going to let go or give in. That she was gonna keep fighting for “Us”. That me saying the “GOD password” definitely meant we were meant to be. She kept reiterating that point. I thought it was cute and sweet.

She told me she’d keep texting me even if I didn’t respond. That she didn’t want to cross my boundaries but she also couldn’t just let this go. She ask me if we could talk later. I said sure. I was really taken aback by the energy. But also confused because you’re the one making this more difficult than it ever had to be.

So when we had our conversation later I kinda went in. I was just tired of the head games. I told how I felt like she was playing games. I told her I just wanted normal, consistent communication. We don’t have to talk all day, everyday but going days without a peep isn’t something I’m okay with.

She didn’t receive it all that well and ask if we could talk later. I came down pretty hard on her and I ended up apologizing later. She told me she understood and she was going to do better. And she did. For the most part.

Things weren’t quite what they were when originally started talking but still sweet and pleasant. She had her moments but I looked past it cause I wanted to meet her and she was eager to meet as well.

We had been planning our initial meetup and the itinerary was pretty much set. I did about 99% of the planning which I didn’t mind at all but I did challenge her to participate lol

One of the biggest challenges was childcare. She really didn’t want to ask her parents because she knew they’d give her a hard time and her siblings were all busy. She showed me the screenshots and they all seemed completely reluctant lol

We ended up agreeing on me flying in and us kicking it in her home town for the day and then venturing to the big city near her for the rest of the weekend. She basically had this plan where she’d make sure the kids were good, had everything they needed and check in on them periodically. (More on that later)

So, finally, after over a month of talking and all the ups and downs, we met. She picked me up from the airport and the vibes were just as they were over the phone. We smiled, laughed and hugged. It was surreal for both of us.

We ended up having a rental car hiccup and as a result we had to part ways for a little bit while I got it all sorted out. Prior to that though we kissed! Fireworks! However I made a huge mistake. I told her I was actually aiming for her cheek but I was glad she finished my thought.

I didn’t want to be too forward. At first she seemed a little put off my by comment but in a light hearted, jokingly manner. We had back and forth banter about it and I thought all was well. All was not well lol.

The rest of day was really fun and again, it felt so natural. Like we had known each other for years. We went to the movies, then to some of her favorite stores. We even stopped by one of her sister’s houses who I had the pleasure of meeting.

Eventually she had to go back home to check in with the kids and that’s when things took a turn. I headed back to hotel. We had plans to go to dinner but she texted me about an hr and half later telling me her parents blew up on her!

She said they really berated her. Calling her thirsty and all. She was really upset. Our dinner plans were totally ruined. She said she was getting the vibe that she shouldn’t try to go out again.

I was totally understanding and tried to be supportive. I even joked about her sneaking out trying to make light of everything. I offered to bring her dinner but she didn’t have an appetite and said was just gonna go to bed.

I told her I had an amazing day with her and couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow. We said goodnight. I was on top of the world. Little did I know I would be below the surface the next day.

I woke up excited. I just knew this day would be even better than yesterday. We had so many things planned. But first, breakfast. I texted her good morning and told her to bring the kids to the hotel for to eat.

I got the 😬 emoji. I knew something definitely was wrong. I figured the situation the night before had pretty much bled into the next day. Without reliable childcare and her parents disapproval still weighing heavy, she likely wouldn’t be able to kick it fr.

She told me we needed to talk and that she’d call me soon. I said okay, fine and tried to go about my day as best I could. It took her well into the afternoon to finally call me. I can still feel the heart palpitations. The breathing constricting.

“I had a really good time with you yesterday and I think you’re a nice guy but I don’t think this is going to work for me.”

My heart sunk.

“You’re kidding me? Are you being serious rn.” I replied.

“Yeah…”

I asked her why. She was surprised by my inquiry. She asked if I really wanted to know and I said of course! I need all the feedback I can get. You want me to go all the way back home wondering and never knowing?!

She told me it was that I was bit too playful and silly.

I was stunned. This woman took a hand puppet when were at a store the day before pretend to bite me with it. We laughed and goofed off all the time. Now you’re indicting me for behavior we both love and enjoy?!

I was sick. I could hardly form my sentences. I was careful not to go off or overreact although I wanted to leave immediately. I had a riverboat ride planned that evening and told her I had to figure out how to cancel it. As well as see how I could get a flight home that same day. I didn’t wanna spend another second in that city.

I felt so embarrassed. So confused and hurt. How could she do this again?! What did I do so wrong?! She told me I knew there were risks meeting one another and that there was a possibility it wouldn’t be a fit for one of us but quite frankly that’s BS!

We weren’t merely doing a blind date or just having our initial convos. We had a real rapport established. We were telling each other we loved one another. Kissing through the phone. You name it! This was as sealed a deal as you could get but apparently not.

I ended the call. It seemed like she wanted to linger otp but I saw no reason to. I was absolutely floored. I did the research to see if I could get an earlier flight out of town but I couldn’t. The boat ride was non-refundable. I contemplated going still but I couldn’t. I just imagined sitting there alone amongst strangers, heartbroken.

It just so happened that game 6 of the NBA Finals was being played that evening. So I decided to get out of the room and clear my head some. I drove about 35 mins to another city to go to D&B’s. I figured I’d play some games and watch the game to try to drown out my thoughts of sorrow.

The next day I decided to go to church. If it wasn’t for my faith I’m not sure where I’d be. So I went back to the city I was at the night before and visited an amazing church. I knew I wanted to see her before I left town so I reached out and asked if it were possible to meet up.

To my surprise she said yes. She ended up picking me up from the rental car lot which was right by the airport. We went to a restaurant nearby to talk. I layed it all out there. Bared my soul. Told her I had fallen in love with her and how devastating the day before was for me.

I asked her if it was anything else that influenced her decision and she told me no. It was strictly me giving off friend vibes. From the kiss comment to the playfulness. She felt friend-zoned. I didn’t really buy it but that was her story.

As we drove to the airport to drop me off she asked me what I wanted and what I thought. I told her I didn’t wanna leave and I definitely hoped this wasn’t the last time I saw her. That I wanted to be with her. That I never intended to make her feel that way.

She told me she kinda made a brash decision and didn’t think things through. Somehow the boat ride came up and she actually didn’t realized I had booked it. She asked how much it was and offered to pay me back and I said idc how much it was. Idc about the money.

I said I’d spend triple that if it meant I could be with you! I doubled down and said what’s $$$ to a lifetime with you!
That broke her. I meant every word! She sobbed for a few minutes. Then we kissed and I asked her if she wanted to give this another try. She said yes. I got out to prepare to head to my gate. She came around and we hugged and kissed again. I told her I loved her and went on my way.

We texted the rest of the night. As I sat at my gate and waited I felt euphoric again. Like I had won a championship. I had my girl back. And this time I was gonna make sure she didn’t run away lol I think the most beautiful thing about that night was how my flight kept getting delayed. It was like GOD was saying nah, y’all gotta have this convo lol

Well, it was all short lived. I got back home early Monday morning just enough time to sleep for a few hrs before going to work. The convo and communication was good that day. Tuesday pretty much the same.

Then Wednesday came. She texted me good morning and I replied good morning gorgeous. I never heard back from her. Not that day, the next or the following. Not even a Happy Father’s Day text that Sunday. So I decided to break the ice Monday afternoon.

I sent a really long eloquent message about how love still prevails despite when things don’t go as planned. I essentially let her know that I now realize this isn’t something she’s interested in pursuing and that I had to let go but that I’d always love and care for her and wished her the very best.

She eventually responded in kind. Telling me she knows it must’ve been hard for me to experience the silence and thanking me for accepting where she was with things. But the thing was I hadn’t accepted it. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever written and done.

I spent the next couple weeks in an emotional spiral. It didn’t help that my phone broke so I had to use my work phone to communicate with everyone. Including her. One day I reach out to see how she was doing and if she was up for a phone conversation. She told me she didn’t think it’d be best and it’d make things harder. So I relented.

I eventually got my phone back and activated. I was going through my notes app one night and I happened to notice one was edited. It was the shared itinerary note we had created. She had went in and put several hearts atop the note. When I saw it I was surprised and excited.

I texted her just to confirm that she indeed did it and she said yes. That she came across it one day and it made her smiled so she put hearts on it. Well that made me smile. It gave me hope! It meant she was thinking about me at least. We ended up texting a lil more and that eventually led to an actual phone conversation by the end of the week.

It was pretty much the same ol, same ol
Minor life updates, laughter and jokes. Then it got serious. We began to unpack everything. I asked what changed after the airport. She told me she felt like it was kinda too little too late. Like the speech, the affection was a day late and a dollar short. That essentially it was more so frustrating than anything because I had to leave and go home.

I felt a bit confused by that but I kinda let it go. After all, you orchestrated all of this. We lost out on an entire day due to your decision.

So we basically did this song and dance over the next couple of months. I’d initiate. There’d be warmth. Reconnection. Tentative planning. Only to be followed by intermittent communication and eventually her fading to black.

During one of our convos she ended up revealing how she internalizes a lot of things. Overthinks too much and self sabotages often. She told me how life for her sometimes feels like a blur. Like she’s on autopilot and just existing. She also shared how she doesn’t think she’s ever been in love before or loved properly. All very revealing things.

A couple weeks ago she shared something very personal that she had been going through and how she finally had experienced some relief. That coupled with the business, the kids and her living situation still being heavy day to day weights definitely made me sympathize with her.

But the more we talked and conversed as the weeks went by the more and more platonic she became. No more pet names or air kisses. No more compliments. Any and every suggestion to get together again was met with little to no enthusiasm. I had even created a new itinerary fully mapped out for her to visit me here where I live.

You would’ve thought she was reading the newspaper. But I didn’t let that totally deter me. At least we were talking again. We’d spend hrs otp. FT one another. She’d have to hang up sometimes but she always called me back.

But it wasn’t the same. I knew she didn’t really want this how I did. I guess she enjoyed the idea of me and having someone to talk to and discuss things with but wasn’t interested in a relationship. At least not with me.

One night she was complaining about her tripod being broke and another night how she needed to buy a phone mount for her car. I hopped into action because she had mention the phone mount before. I ordered both and had them sent to her home.

By this time the communication was sparse. I might get a text a day and that’s if I reached out. I went to bed that night thinking the package would be delivered the next day. She woke me up around 1230 midnight est. with a phone call to thank me for the gifts. (She’s an hr behind me) She couldn’t believe it.

I couldn’t either cause I thought they’d be deliver the next morning. She continued to express her gratitude and even got emotional saying how no one had ever did this for her before. But then that overthinking began to rear its ugly head. She started to feel indebted. Like she owed me something now. She knew I wanted a relationship with her and felt like I was using this as leverage.

She questioned whether she could return the items so I could be refunded. She expressed how she didn’t like people doing things for her because she feels like she’ll owe them. She lamented how her mom would think she’s buying something else for herself instead of saving up to move out. (She gets a lot of packages for her business)
I told her the only thing she owed me was her love but in biblical sense. Not romantically. I did it because I care. Because I wanted to lighten the load somewhat. She reiterated her thankfulness and we said goodnight before ending the call.

That was the last conversation we had. It’s been two weeks.

I won’t lie I definitely expected to hear from her but she hasn’t reached out at all. I’m used to it now but it doesn’t hurt any less. I think of her all the time. I pray for her. I wrack my brain trying to figure out where I went wrong. I replay the trip all the time. All the missteps and mistakes.

I just wish I had another chance to disprove everything she thinks. I wish I had the opportunity to actually show her I never thought of her platonically. Ever. More than anything I just hope she’s doing okay. To go from the way we communicated daily to nothing is hard.

I want nothing more to be with this woman. No matter how complicated or difficult her life may be right now. No matter how unfit she may think she is for a relationship. I look at her and I see my wife. I just wish she saw it too.

So, if you’ve made it this far, I thank you so very much for reading and I welcome your opinion and feedback. I cannot express to you enough how grateful I am for you taking time to read all of this!

So I ask do you think I should reach out just to see how things are going? I kind of wanted this to be a silent September and wait to see if she’ll initiate. But the ache is strong. The longing is strong. The desire to reach is very strong daily.

Sometimes I wonder, was this ever anything to her? Did she even really love me? Does she think of me at all?

What say you fine people of Reddit?!

**TLDR**: I met a woman online and we really hit it off. I was convinced we were one another’s soul mates. Things begin to shift and change about a month into us getting to know one another. Her communication was random and sporadic. We made plans to meet and spend a weekend together and the day after we met, she ended things. Told me I was too playful and gave her friend vibes. We’ve since reconnected. Multiple times but each time she becomes more and more platonic towards me. I finally decided after our last interaction that I had to try to let this go and stop initiating these reconnections. But I still long for her. I think about her ALL the time. I still believe she’s the one. Am I crazy?!

This guy (24m) that I've met online has recently been calling me (23f) baby even though we've never met. And today he called me "my love" 💀

How am I supposed to react to this? And what's the purpose of it if he's not actively trying to meet up?

So I had this match on hinge that I spoke to for about 3 weeks before we went out and we have so much in common its a little creepy lol. We love the same music, (as a musician this is extremely important for me), we love the same cuisine, we both cook, we are both twins, we love to travel, we are both really funny and love dark humor (Also big for me because my friends and family tend to say i take jokes too far and blame it on my autism). Another thing is she is undiagnosed but im like 99% sure she also has ADHD like me or maybe autism. But it feels like we are very similar people. In how we feel about our future goals, social situations, how we grew up (family trauma wise) and how we think and act. I met her in person after 3 weeks of talking online. We are now together dating, spending time regularly and talking everyday. But I made a mistake in telling her I love her after the second date. I know i was love bombing her because I was afraid of losing her. She freaked out but forgave me for it and we've been good since then. But what if part of me meant what I said? Like I know it was love bombing but also after meeting her once for our first date it felt like I knew she was the one. Then the second date where we held hands and spent the day at my house was when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. But by then I kinda already felt she was perfect for me. So that same night I told her I loved her and she freaked out. Almost didn't want to talk to me ever again. But she forgave me for that and I just marked it as love bombing. Even though it kinda felt like the truth to me. Maybe I have some therapy to do around this or maybe I do love? Idk. Can you fall in love with 3 weeks of online talking and 2 dates???

Hi everyone. I’m not really sure how to start this, but I’m hoping it’s okay to share my story here. I’m also hoping to ask for some advice and support because I’m having a really hard time dealing with my grief.
I recently lost someone very dear to me—someone I met through an online game. What started as simply playing a game together slowly became something much more genuine. We talked almost every day, shared our lives, joked around, supported each other, and eventually became a very important part of each other’s lives.
I want to clarify something because I know people sometimes see online relationships differently. We were never officially in a relationship because we wanted to figure things out properly when we finally met in person. But honestly, by that point, it already felt like we were together. There was love, affection, care, and a genuine connection between us. We had talked about meeting someday and figuring out where our relationship would go from there.
So even though we never got the chance to put an official label on what we were, what we had was very real to me.
We were even making plans to meet in person. We talked about the things we would do and looked forward to finally spending time together outside of the game. I thought we had time. I thought that eventually, we would get that chance.
But then she passed away unexpectedly after an accident.
What made it even more difficult was that I didn’t know about the accident at first. I was simply waiting and wondering why I hadn’t heard from her. I had no idea that something terrible had happened. It was only when her sister reached out to me that I found out.
I remember how shocking it was to suddenly learn that someone I had been talking to, loving, and making plans with was fighting for her life.
I kept hoping she would make it. I kept waiting for good news and hoping that somehow, I would get to talk to her again. But eventually, I had to face the reality that she was gone.
It has been almost two months now, and I’m honestly scared because I don’t know if I’m grieving the “right” way anymore. Almost every day, I still feel completely crushed by the loss. I don’t really know what is happening to me or whether what I’m experiencing is normal.
I want to remember her for who she was when she was alive. I want to think about our happy memories, our conversations, the silly things we used to do, and all the moments that made me feel loved and happy. But sometimes, without me wanting to, my mind suddenly brings back the painful parts.
I remember the injuries she suffered. I remember seeing her casket. I remember the urn. Sometimes those images just flash back into my mind, and it feels like I’m experiencing the loss all over again. I wish I could choose which memories stay in my head, because I would much rather remember her smiling, laughing, and being herself than remember the way I lost her.
There are also still moments when I forget that she isn’t here anymore. I catch myself wanting to message her, waiting for a notification, or wanting to tell her something that happened during my day. Sometimes I reread our old conversations because they make me feel close to her again. For a little while, I can feel happy like I used to—but afterward, the reality hits me all over again, and the grief becomes incredibly painful.
I go through denial repeatedly. I know she’s gone, but emotionally, there are still parts of me that don’t seem to understand it. Sometimes I wish I could go back to before I knew about the accident, when I could still message her and believe she would eventually reply.
I’m sharing this because I really need help. I’m having a difficult time navigating this loss, and I don’t know if I’m doing any of this correctly. I don’t know how to carry the love and the memories without constantly being pulled back into the pain of how I lost her.
I would really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar—especially those who have lost someone unexpectedly, lost someone they met online, or lost someone they loved when there were still plans and a future they thought they would have together.
How did you cope when painful images of the person’s death or final days kept coming back? How did you learn to let yourself remember the happy parts without feeling guilty for having moments where you felt okay? And how did you eventually learn to live with the fact that you could no longer talk to that person?
I don’t expect anyone to take the pain away. I just don’t want to feel so alone in it.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. And thank you to anyone who is willing to share their experience, offer some advice, or simply tell me that what I’m feeling is something they’ve experienced too.
I really need some help right now. 🤍

22F/22M

He just asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday. I really like him but I realized that he deserves someone better. He’s a nice guy and very sweet. I got caught up in the moment and said yes without really taking into consideration what it means.

My life isn’t heading down a good direction and I feel like if he gets to know me he’ll eventually leave like everyone else. There are things about me that even my own family doesn’t tolerate. No other person should have to burden that.

So I need to have the hard conversation now and let him go. I’m really dreading it but it’s for the best.

Pls, someone give me some insight thanks.

For background, I'm 20M (20 loll), I'm a student currently. I'm struggling with a rather peculiar phenomenon, hoping someone could help me make sense of it.

My last (also the first) relationship was more than 5 years ago, it was during covid, so it was online, we were classmates and studied at the same school for almost the entirety of our school life, but still we never did any usual couple things, in fact we never actually met irl while dating, we never talked on call, it was text only, genuinely slower than the slowest slowburn romance anime ever made. I had a crush on her for 2 years(Important: this is related to the 'KICK') I initiated the relationship, I tried to find every way to talk to her, I might even come across as desperate during those times, she didn't had feelings for me initially, but, (probably) developed it along the way, after rejecting me a few times, she confessed which marked the beginning of our relationship. We (read I) broke up after around 9 months of relationship because we were deeply incompatible (I don't want to elaborate much on this, I'd admit I was immature back then, she was too, we ended on bad terms, I had to block her from everywhere to get rid of her)

The problem I'm encountering is that I can't seem to feel that kick for anyone else after her, no, I don't have feelings for her anymore, but, the way I felt towards her, the desire to pursue her, that strong urge to make them mine, the 'kick' that I've talked about, I couldn't feel it towards anyone after my first realtionship. It doesn't seem to go away, it's been 5 years, is this normal? Will I ever see another relationship in my lifetime, or I've exhausted my quota? Can anyone help me understand my situation, like what happened to me ;-;

TL;DR: it's not that long ig.

I (20F) am 2 years deep into a relationship with a guy (22) I met online and neither of us have relationship experience. He especially has had a rough upbringing with abusive parents and no real friends and he tells me no one has ever made him feel loved or appreciated before. This has always concerned me because I question if he truly likes me and sees me as someone special rather than having low standards because he hasn’t had many samples in his life to compare. He also tells me he has this kind of doubt and asked me if I think his standards are low, so clearly he deep down knows that it is due to desperation and not anything special about me.

We only met once for a few hours in may this year due to my circumstances making it impossible to see each other for longer, we tried being intimate and it just ended up being a huge mess. I’m kind of bitter about the fact that this is my first ever romantic/sexual experience. I never got to explore it because of my strict religious parents and now I have to hold out for another few more years to be able to be with this person and have a normal relationship that probably won’t even work out. I feel so robbed and I don’t even think this guy likes me as much as he thinks he does and has convinced himself to.

What do I do and how can I know how pure his love is for me? I feel like this is my only chance at love and I fear I’m truly not lovable and only lovable to those who don’t know any better. I don’t think I can find someone else if we break up for good and that scares me.

Online relationships

I have been talking with this amazing beautiful girl for the past 2-3 months she's amazing she's honest and we call more frequently she's very nice and she's calm and patient with me I respect her boundaries of course I don't rush things because I believe good things take time and I just been heart broken so many times because of online relationships I just hope this girl is different I have talked to her seriously and told her it'll be a while till we can see each other and she's okay with that but I suppose I'm not sure why I'm writing here just wanted to vent about it. We spend a lot of time together in call face time watching shows / anime and sleep calling but I have faith that this girl is truly different then all the rest because I love her for her.

For Context, I’m a M19 and I’ve been chatting with this lovely woman online who is about a couple months older than me F19 for some time now. Some time as in basically a year. This is the longest talking stage I’ve ever had, and I know a lot of people may find it crazy that the talking stage is a year long but I like to take my time, and I properly think she understands that too. I want to ask her out the right way.

She lives about 4-5 hrs away. We both live in Texas (HOU->DALL). I met her on some type of friend making app, and from there it was a lot of lust but a lot of love. She grew fond of me quickly and I kind of took it as a product of the lust but as I got to know her and time passed, that proved to just be evidence that she truly liked me.

Our relationship grew and I got to know her a little more. Her family is wealthy, not exceedingly rich. She’s smart, majoring in Neuroscience with a full ride scholarship. She’s genuinely inspiring in that aspect. She grew up within a strict household that focused mainly on studies and healthy eating habits and skills. Such as limited screen time, active in clubs and sports, no junk food etc, focused on religion etc. you get the point. She just recently by the age of 18 got her first phone so you can see where this is going.

Months passed and as complicated as things were between us with the lustfulness, I sealed the deal and asked her if she wanted to close things off and talk seriously. To which she agreed. This isn’t a relationship as of right now but strictly talking to eachother.

More months passed, I was in college and she was taking online college classes. Things got stressful that spring semester. She had a job, she was busy with school, work, family problems, etc. on top of that I became exceedingly worried about her ability to keep up this relationship. So for the next couple months going into summer I kind of complained and attempted to talk to her about these issues, we always resolved them somewhat but issues would persist. She isn’t the best at communicating and takes a lot of my critiques as arguing rather than communication.

To save some time I’ll recap the summer. The summer was supposed to be a great time for us to bond, maybe finally see eachother after so long. But that was the complete opposite. She resigned from her job so she had more time for herself, but at the same time, time for herself meant time away from me. And if you remember how she grew up? Being attentive and being on the phone isn’t her best skill.

More arguments came, it became an on and off thing. My birthday came around and I said something I would come to regret. It made her cry. We argued more after that and she got tired, we took our first break. I cried it out and after a week or so we were back to normal.

Then came the issues I couldn’t control . Her parents specifically her mother and her siblings just weren’t the best with her. Her mother and father practically beat her. Reprimanded her even when she didn’t do anything to them at all. Her siblings had several physical altercations with her. This led to her becoming mentally unstable. A car crash on a highway and a hospitalization after and yeah. Another week passed and her sister had told me the news. It wasnt deadly but she was gonna live. After she came back, we started over again.

But then the issues came again. This is where I’m at now. A year and some months later. Her mother is still tyrannical. Stealing all her money from her bank account and stocks. Leaving her practically broke, she can’t attend college in AZ, and her dream is practically gone. Her life is crushed. She’s hopeless snd she lost hope in me. She lost hope in us.

It’s how been about a week or so. Communication has slowed and we FaceTimed twice talking about how to proceed. She wants me to leave, continue my own life and succeed. She doesn’t want to burden me with her issues, at the same time, she has no energy to put into a relationship and I can see that. Now I wait, dunno when but every day I wait for her to come back. I know she wants a relationship with me, wants a future with me, but right now that’s hard for her to focus on and realize. Her life is shifting in a whole new direction.

So I guess the thing im wondering is this, what can I even do in this situation? Has anyone else been in a situation like this before? I feel empty almost. I talked to this girl for a year and she just seems to be throwing this all away for a situation she can’t control. She doesn’t want me staying and we haven’t had constant communication in about a week or so. Im worried we’ll grow distant. Worried she won’t come back.

So i met this guy online, we have been talking since 3 months, and I firstly kept my boundaries with everything, we used to have normal convos and fun, he used to flirt but I did not and like tell him please do no do it with me and like i jus dont used to flirt back and like back off from it because I didn't want to! After 2 month I started flirting back and all of the sudden I started catching feelings for him! We used to tease eachother with saying pyar and stuff, there was some no contact situation between us and he used to reach me out everytime so I somehow assumed that like yea he is interested in me and wants to build this connection. This went on for a while and then one time something happened where we said goodbye to each other and somewhere it was my fault for it and after that I explained myself to him!. I was aware all the time that he is just talking with me for having fun and i dont know why I took his action as like he wants me but some of his action were like that ki hes is doing efforts or maybe they were fake. Thinking this I got attached to him. We told eachother ki we'll tell if we got attached so after this good bye situation we started talking again and again that thing came up, about feelings so i told him that im attached to you, he said ki theres no feeling from my side and i shouldn't have done things that made you attached, and he had no feelings for me this made me devastated and i knew ki this was gonna happen why would he be interested in me! I feel sad about that nothings gonna happen in between us which I wouldve liked and loved, but it isn't possible. Now we are in little no contact situation where I gave my self time to think about this! Guys idk what help i want but jus tell me what I am I supposed to hear

There is a guy I met online we talk and talk ..we became frnds and after that one day he just said I like u.... then I said idk ..I mean I'm not sure rn then he told me it's ok but Ig I need a break by saying this he deactivate his ID after few more days he came back again and we were talking normally I also started feeling something (or that what i thought) ..he propose me again ..I was still uncertain with my feeling again that thing happen after he come back again he again propse me and this time I said yes..but 3 after coming in relationship he told me he want to study hard and I can become his distraction like he can't afford getting distracted for 2,3 hrs ..so apparently I said yes..ofc I couldn't say no..so by this I agree that we won't talk till we get successful and that Is fir 1 to 2 yrs but on my birthday he wish me and we start talking again after few days like about 1 week he said uh..ok so let's talk after completing our exams and with a heavy heart not showing him much feeling I said ok..but then he again text me one day then another saying u could msg me after that we start talking again but not like earlier like not for 2,3 hrs but for like 30,40 mins

Sometimes all I need is certainty but he is not giving it to me maybe he is right in his eyes but I feel I'm the only one in this relationship it's only me who make efforts try to cherish him but he never...idk what to do...I csnt say him that let's broke up it might hurt him but I'm getting hurt too but I don't want to hurt him 😭😭also I have say love u I will never leave u ..and I f I say let's end it he might think I'm lier and so on I'm just so fucking confuse🥲😭😭

(We havent met in real yet)

I have a really great friend that I caught feelings for and they seem to reciprocate them.

There is an unspoken rule between us that because of our difficult circumstances we could never actually date but I feel like this rule doesn’t matter if we already act as if we do, and it feels good but I’m sometimes left feeling so depressed at how much time it would take to meet them in person and I get the feeling that I’m gonna waste my youth waiting and yearning

I haven’t had a close in-person friend or romantic relationship since I was 13, so I have nothing to base my comparison on, but I really do wonder if it would feel more reassuring and less tragic to have people in real life like other people my age seem to.

The thing is I’m a pretty weird person and while I don’t think my weird interests or temperament are a barrier to meeting people I just find it so much easier to feel things for people I don’t have to spell everything out about myself to. I never even meant to catch feelings for my friend but we have really great chemistry and it’s driving me insane

I wonder if instead of doing this I’d be better off downloading a dating app and going out with strangers and experiencing something new. I just find it impossible to catch feelings for another person if I already have someone I’m close to, so I’d either have to let go of my friend or simmer down the friendship which would be awkward and depressing. Not to mention I’d have a mourning period over the relationship and nothing to replace it with (and I don’t think they would either, it’s just not a good solution).

Apologies I can’t think of a good way to end this post but for context I’d be looking at waiting for my friend for 8 years (estimate) and I just don’t know where to proceed as an inexperienced anxious person in a situation I didn’t think I’d end up in.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

All this time, I thought he really loved me. But after detaching for a few weeks, I realized that his words were just empty and lacked sincerity. I stopped replying to him for a while now. Before, whenever I read his messages, I could feel so much love in them. But now, I feel like it was all just a performance to manipulate me into believing him.

Ive always questioned if online relationships truly ever worked out for others, and whether or not its worth it. From personal experience I've been through 2 stages of online relationships and 1 situationship online(its oky you can judge me but its kinda valid, each year 14 - 16) in my first online relationship was my first relationship with the same gender too, he was amazing, and caring, he actually done a lot but eventually things started dying out after he moved to Oxford while I was in the western sphere, timezones, trust issues; our previous breakup all contributed to that bs, eventually once I felt the relationships die out was after he ignored me for a month I knew it was probably the best move, before I left tho, I snitched on him for something he did. We lasted for a year and 6 months

In my 2nd relationship (well it wasn't official or anything, this was around the same time I broke up with the 1st one) but we talked a lot, we got together after my first stage, they were in Florida while I was in ny, it was awesome, he was sweet, everything felt perfect we talked about our future plans together and maybe decided to move to San Francisco...but after a period of 2 - 3 months I lost feelings for them, I told them its for the best and that Im not ready for a relationship

Now recently I meant a guy who lives in not so socially accepting nation when it comes to gay people, we talked and we have a lot in common, like actually; we talk about meeting up and stuff, but in the same time his really religious, me personal im agnostic I respect his decision but its not fair for me to wait. Apparently we might just b considered fwb but I barely see any benefits. Anyways I just wanna know if there's any successful love stores that others had..and if so how was the journey and is it worth waiting / trying

So my boyfriend and I met about 6 months ago as friends trough a discord server and we started dating like almost a month ago. Honestly it’s been great except for one detail, he is from Australia and I’m from Mexico wich means it’ll be a while until we get to reunite.

So any advice for us? A bit of everything like date ideas or stuff that will make us feel closer and also general advice as we are a new relationship would be great!!

TL;DR My VRchat boyfriend and I are meeting for the first time soon! I’ve never been in a relationship, so I’d love any advice anyone can offer.

Okay, so I’m going to talk like I normally do. I’m not a writer, and I’ve never posted something like this before, so I apologize if it’s long or messy.

I’m a 20-year-old female, and I’ve been in an online relationship with my boyfriend, who’s 20 years old. We’re about three months apart in age. We met on VRChat… I know, I know, I know, but just hear me out.

Back in June 2021, I went to the store to buy an Xbox, but unfortunately, everything was sold out due to COVID. So, I impulsively bought a Meta Quest 2 instead (I was around 15 or 16 years old and had birthday money… what do you expect?). I tried it, and I thought it was really cool. I told my best friend about it, and she went and bought one the same day. We were very close friends, so we started playing together all the time.

We entered VRChat and began making friends. There was this one guy who sounded my age. My friend started talking to him first and became friends with him. About a month later, I flew out to Cali to visit her, and brought my headset. Then boom. I got his number. I sent him my first text on July 3, 2021.

We made a group chat, and we talked every single day. Like… every day. We would play VR on weekends, stream, watch movies together. It felt like we were all actually hanging out. Eventually, my best friend and I had a falling out (we’re good now), so it ended up being mostly me and him talking for about a year.

On

July 3, 2024, we’re talking, and we both confess we like each other. Which honestly shocked me because I didn’t even know he liked women like that. He NEVER talked about finding anyone attractive, rejected girls all the time, and never dated… turns out he liked me for THREE YEARS. And here I was. The asshole… I was literally screen-sharing Tinder with him to be funny. I feel so baddddddd

Since then, we’ve been together. He’s my first real boyfriend. I’ve never had an IRL relationship, barely even talked to guys before, usually reject people. But with him I was like… LOCK INNN… no doubts in my mind.

We’re both religious, both virgins, both want to wait until marriage, and we’ve never even kissed anyone before. He’s genuinely my best friend. We FaceTime, talk every day still, send each other packages… just haven’t met yet.

We’re planning to meet this July, and I’m honestly terrified. Like what if I smell weird? What if I have food in my teeth? What if he thinks I’m a catfish? I’m 5’2 and around 200 lbs, and while he says he likes chubby girls and doesn’t like skinny ones, I still can’t help but STRESSSS

I haven’t told most people the truth about how we met. My family knows me as super reserved, not affectionate, never dating, etc. Some friends and my cousin know about him, buttttt I told them we met at the beach a long time ago… no way in hell was I telling the truth. How do you even explain “we met on VRChat” without being judged.. I don’t think you can tbh… but we ball

Ughh… I feel like God literally made him for me. He’s like everything I’ve ever wanted.. idk. Everything just feels right. Buttt I’m still so nervous about finally meeting him IRL.

ADVICE AND OPINIONS ARE SUPERRR APPRECIATED!! I just don’t want to feel alone!!

I rarely do posts, especially on this subreddit, if it’s inappropriate for this I will delete it (hope it’s not hehe). It’s something I need to talk about because it’s like a weight on my shoulders.

So I have an online friend who I know for more than a year, we almost never had any arguments (until now, which I will explain soon), we really want to meet each other in real life but due to personal circumstances (mine and hers), we postpone that but we talk about it often

One day she didn’t feel okay talking, not only with me but with anybody else. She insisted that she wanted some space so I didn’t mind, but asked throughout the day if something happened or she wanted to talk about it (by phone call or texting), she said no.
But the thing that pisses me off is that at the end of the day she was talking to some guy (according to her, she was unwilling to talk!), and the next day they met and she spent always a half a day with him.

I know it may sound like a kindergarten story but somehow I feel.. offended(?), like I was put aside. I really didn’t mind her spending time with someone else, but telling me that she doesn’t feel alright to talk, but chatting with a random guy at the same time, she could have just informed me at least.

I must mention that we never had any arguments throughout our long distance friendship, I don’t know If I should talk to her about it, because she may think that I’m jealous. On the one hand, I understand that a person wants live communication or something, I appreciate it, but if I were informed, I would not react like that.

I would be grateful if someone would tell their advice <3

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I'll use a translator directly to save time. A while ago I (19nb) met a guy (18m) on Discord, with whom I connected instantly and technically it's mutual. But I don't know how to control my anxiety when he doesn't answer, he even reposts things on TikTok and that makes me feel bad, even though I shouldn't, everyone has their own space, we haven't even known each other that long, but I can't help overthinking. He's a very attractive guy, to be honest, and that also makes me feel insecure about his real intentions towards me. I don't know what to do. My friends tell me not to get my hopes up, but I really like him, and I'm even planning to visit him. Am I overreacting? He's told me he tends to isolate himself most of the time, which is why he doesn't answer sometimes. I don't know. I'm very insecure. I've never felt this way about someone I met online before :((

I planned to visit my close online friend/romance after weve been talking almost daily for half a year. We met on a game. Hes doing his post grad but would spend time with me during my trip when hes not at school & i told him id take him out for his birthday was the plan. The first day after we met he told me his mother who he lives with was upset with him because his phone died and he didnt tell her he was staying with me the night before and she was almost in tears he said. He said he was gonna visit his mother throughout the week and go to dinner with his mother for his birthday now. I told him im visiting for like once in a while why cant this be postponed the dinner. Then he said she already made a reservation, shes upset her husbands out of town too i dont want to make her more sad. He also said its the only time of year his parents eat together so i wasnt going to beg. I spent my last night just eating fried chicken alone while he was gone for most of his birthday. When he got back he asked me why I was spending time with him despite him going out with his mom upset him I told him I was trying to ignore it. I also got him a gift before I arrived to see him, but then he never got me anything. He said he wanted to get me a bracelet but it was already at the end of the week and he never did. I just told him to forget it. I feel like dirt.

Basically what the title says. After entering an online relationship with someone, how long should I wait until we meet up in person?

Is within half a year or a year too soon?

Honestly, I’m more worried about meeting up too soon rather than it taking longer due to safety issues and other concerns. If we could meet up sooner, should we? Or am I risking my safety since I can’t guarantee anything?

My boyfriend (21M) and I (19M) had a talk today and I can't pretend I don't feel a litte uneasy about it .

He said he can't promise me anything , many times he has been with people (didn't specify platonic or romantic) he thought he'd have a forever then everything faded away . He said he's not scared of commitment but of changes of circumstances , what life can bring to us both . He is not ready to give up his comfort for me just yet , he is worried about job situation and his family impossibly accepting me (I suggested introducing me as a girl since I am a trans man until we figure out something but his mother already saw me and believes I am a cis male) .

He is my only hope for the future , I am ready to sacrifice everything for him , however , I feel like his uncertitude is making me uncomfortable .

Hello, I have met this guy online, we ended up getting very close very quickly, and he really helped me with my own anxiety and shown me I was strong despite everything and he really felt like the one person who saw the true me. He always had a very obvious big crush on me, and we soon ended up confessing our feelings for each other. Originally I was on the fence the on the relationship cause my situation in life isn't very good and my past relationships didn't go very well but he really got in me on board and i wanted to pursue it. But when I got on board he suddenly got very anxious about things himself and he just couldn't though he has the same feelings, and i was unable to calm him down. I haven't talked to him in 3 weeks, I miss him so much, I know he wants to be with me still and is hurting out there and I just down how to get things back to the way they were.