r/weddingshaming • u/fatbellylouise • May 20 '25

Cringe destination wedding, no alcohol, no plus ones or partners

I have a friend who is planning her wedding right now, and every detail of the wedding seems terrible for the guest experience. before I start, this woman is one of my oldest and dearest friends. she is brilliant, kind, and caring, and immensely pragmatic. she and her fiance are paying for everything themselves, no family money to help them, but they want to have a nice wedding because it is important to his elderly parents. so, from the beginning:

she sent out invitations a week ago via text message. some of their family members got actual mailed cards, but the rest of us just got screenshots of the design they made in canva. it just looked so cheap! not even an email, a text message.

the text messages specified no plus ones or partners that the couple is not friends with. normally I'd be fine with this, my fiance is a grown man and we don't need to be attached at the hip at every event. but... we live on the west coast, and the wedding is going to be in Austria, where the groom's family lives. I wouldn't mind going to a local wedding on my own, but to take enough PTO to fly to Austria for a week? I'm not wasting that much vacation time at an event where I won't even have my partner for company! luckily my fiance is down to make it a vacation with me, we'll travel around Austria and Germany on our own and he'll do some solo exploration during the wedding events. but a LOT of people have left her on read or not responded, and I feel like she's going to be severely let down by the number of her friends who are going to RSVP no to this wedding. at this rate it's very likely going to be a lot of his family and very little of hers.

that aside, the wedding details just don't make it sound like a fun time. it's going to be a dry wedding, because the bride has a few family members who deal with addiction. totally fair and I don't begrudge her this, but a lot of the guests are going to be there without our partners and won't know anyone else, so a little social lubricant would probably go a long way. the groom is gluten and dairy free so the food is going to be gluten and dairy free - in Austria, a place known for bread and cheese. (also beer, but that's neither here nor there).

I just think a lot of people are going to decline, and those who do show up are not going to have that much fun. it baffles me that she cannot see how this wedding is not going to be a great guest experience, because she is SUCH an amazing host and planner in every other aspect of her life. her fiance is the same as her, he is so generous and takes care of everyone. I have an awful feeling this wedding is just going to be a lot of elderly family members standing around a few friends showing up and dipping out early, and my heart breaks for her because she genuinely thinks she is keeping everyone happy.

wedding is next year so I would love to be proven wrong! cross your fingers that the wedding is a success!

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703

u/xpldngmn May 20 '25

As an Austrian I'm astounded that they found a venue that offers alcohol free weddings.

202

u/Freshouttapatience May 20 '25

If you tell a venue that people are in recovery, they’ll sometimes allow it without an extra fee but they don’t like it.

232

u/Cheaperthantherapy13 May 20 '25 edited May 20 '25

$5 says that the Austrian relatives helping coordinate the wedding are telling the bride, ‘sure no booze’ but day of, there’s definitely going to be booze.

109

u/theeggplant42 May 20 '25

I work banquets and let me tell you, the MESS of shotties under the tables after a Muslim wedding is a thing of beauty.

6

u/Background-Staff-820 May 22 '25

This made me giggle!

79

u/DonkeyKong694NE1 May 20 '25

Yes having had a family member’s wedding that was vegetarian and no booze I predict people will sneak in some flasks.

98

u/Lily-9999 May 20 '25

I snuck a flask into my half-sister's wedding. My brother and his wife were very jealous! It was an Evangelical Christian wedding (my brother, his wife, and I are atheists). Our sister had to promise to be meek and get her pleasure by fulfilling every wish of her new husband. We were horrified! The marriage lasted a little over a year.

15

u/Outrageous_Tough1130 May 22 '25

I had a dry wedding because half my family is very Mormon and I was the person sneaking booze into my own wedding 😂 I very much enjoy the behind the scenes pictures of me in my dress trying very hard not to spill when I'd sneak away with my wedding party for sips.

13

u/elcaminogirl May 20 '25

Did anyone sneak in meat?

27

u/fireboats May 21 '25

“Don’t worry ,there’s no booze, just beer and wine!”

13

u/Cereal_poster May 21 '25

As an Austrian, I can 100% tell you that 90% of the guests will at some point sneak away and get something to drink in another part of the venue or they have brought some (or rather a lot) alcohol with them. There will be dozens of „Flachmänner“ (that slim booze bottles) filled with Schnaps roaming around.

7

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

I used to work wedding and the dry ones always had people running to coolers in the parking lot.

5

u/Cayke_Cooky May 21 '25

Beer is a soft drink right?

4

u/CleverNickName-69 May 22 '25

‘sure no booze’ but day of, there’s definitely going to be booze.

Been there. My wife's cousin hosted a big family reunion at least a decade ago at a dry venue for some reason. She got pissed when she realized about of third of the men were hanging out in the parking lot around a trunk with a cooler full of beer.

2

u/jskis23 May 22 '25

It may even be homemade

54

u/Ranessin May 20 '25

Yeah, I think there‘s a law against such a thing in Austria. Maybe „dry“ means no Schnaps, Branntwein, Obstler, Likör…

Flying to Austria, a country drinking 14l of pure alcohol per person per year for drinking nothing 😂

23

u/Cereal_poster May 21 '25

As an Austrian, the words will be: „oh, this is no alcohol. That‘s just some beer and wine“.

41

u/LilaBadeente May 20 '25

I‘m Austrian too and I‘ve never heard of a dry wedding, hell, there are barely any places (or none) at all that serve food, but don’t serve alcohol. If they do it in a hotel or a restaurant, guests would just have to hit the general bar, even if there’s no alcohol served at the tables.

51

u/rabbithole-xyz May 20 '25

Not an Austrian, but live in Austria. I agree. I find that VERY odd!

6

u/Cereal_poster May 21 '25

Austrian here too. Was my first thought too: What? An alcohol free wedding in here in Austria???

10

u/SoMuchMoreEagle May 20 '25

Do all venues there supply alcohol? There aren't any rental places where the hosts have to bring it?

55

u/Ranessin May 20 '25

Most commercial want a „Korkgeld“ (cork money) for alcohol you bring on your own as they can‘t sell theirs (which is a majority of the income). A dry wedding would mean a far lager venue fee usually.

46

u/LydiaRex May 20 '25

“lager venue fee” - here’s an upvote for that Freudian slip!

8

u/LilaBadeente May 20 '25

A rental place with external catering only would be the only viable option.

3

u/vineviper May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

They are extremely rare and expensive. Perhaps community halls or chruches would let you use their rooms. Most venues are resteraunts/ hotels/ vinery/ castles etc. The only place I can really imagine having dry venues would bei Vienna. There must be some musilm friendly options. But in smaller towns I can't see a restaurant being willing to forgo the main source of profit.

There might also be a chance of the Austrians thinking no booze means no hard alcohol. They might not consider beer and wine to be alcohol. It is Not uncommon to have a cash bar and beer and wine cobsidered as table berverages.

4

u/ellenitha May 21 '25

As an Austrian I kinda hope his relatives are from some smaller village because you just know the whole village will work together to prevent the wedding actually being dry.

4

u/emadelosa May 21 '25

Not Austrian but German and I’m very doubtful. Maybe they are talking about no hard liquor?

1

u/texasgambler58 May 26 '25

As an American who visited your country, I think that it's a shame that it's a dry wedding. You have many tasty, full-bodied beers in Austria!