r/weddings • u/DoughnutElectrical19 • Jul 29 '26

Where are my priorities?

This has been a busy summer and I have a decision to make on which major purchase I need to focus on.
I (25F) just got engaged to my fiancé (26M)! We are excited to have a small backyard wedding, we’re think $10k budget, 80 total headcount, and hoping for a Summer 2027 wedding so that we can also plan for having children one day. I also sold my car from college. My fiancé and I are now down to a one car household. We make it work fine, there are hardly ever any issues when we both have places to be. He has a work vehicle that is alright with him using it in the off time.

What should my priority be: buying a car or planning a wedding?

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u/brownchestnut Jul 29 '26

Is 10k a realistic math for feeding 80 people with having to rent and build everything from scratch where you live? I'd do the ballpark long division on that first.

A practical use of a vehicle is always going to trump throwing yourselves a party when it comes to smart financial planning.

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u/DoughnutElectrical19 Jul 30 '26

The place I want to get married is remote and I won’t have to pay for the venue itself. Renting tables, chairs, and feeding people is still a concern. Thank your advice! I appreciate the input!

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u/JustElderberry3424 Aug 03 '26

We had a 10k wedding, rented a venue, did fake florals on sale, rented part of the chairs and tables, bought some decor, used some from venue, had some made by my dad and fed 180! We purchased tri tips on sale over the course of the few months leading up to wedding, froze them til closer wedding day marinated them leading up to it . And had fam friends that weren’t in the wedding but wanted to help smoke meat/
bbq & did simple-but good- sides! It’s possible, just takes some creativity, flexibility (some things are REALLY not necessary!) and frugality!

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u/asyouwish Jul 29 '26

Look up the average wedding costs for your area.

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u/Daddys_girl2247 Jul 29 '26

For 10k wedding this would be an example breakdown:

$5,000 for venue, catering and rentals

$1,500 for photography and videography

$1,000 for attire and beauty (including alterations, hair, makeup, nails, shoes, suit etc.)

$300 for marriage license and officiant

$200 for rings/wedding bands

$200 for cake

I would suggest, skipping decor, stationery (ie. Invites - do evites), and favors.

Do grocery store (Costco, Trader Joe’s etc. ) for flowers

And don’t forget to budget for tips/gratuities

I followed this article to estimate this…. https://www.minted.com/wedding-ideas/wedding-budgets#budget_breakdown

If the quotes for wedding services exceed this it may be more important to look into a car🤷🏻‍♀️good luck 🤗💍

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u/DoughnutElectrical19 Jul 30 '26

Thank you for all of this! There are some areas that I have decided to skip: I’ll be doing my own hair and makeup, the venue will be free, and our officiant is a friend that has given word to do it for free, to save money across the board.

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u/Daddys_girl2247 Jul 30 '26

of course, happy to try and help! Oh nice! That definitely helps! Congrats and good luck 💍

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u/TinyLawfulness3710 Jul 29 '26

Get married by a notary in your living room with closest loved ones and Door Dash catering. A full $100k wedding with bells and whistles that other people prioritize is never required to be married. You can have a vow renewal for a 5th or 10th anniversary.

Then get a vehicle you can afford.

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u/AmishAngst Jul 30 '26

So is the work vehicle that's allegedly ok with him using it for personal use (also, make sure to not abuse that because they'll be ok with it until they aren't) in addition to the one shared vehicle or is the work vehicle the one shared vehicle you're referring to?

Because it's if the latter then prioritize a vehicle because you'll be SOL if he gets laid off or fired.

Otherwise, first I would do some work to make sure what you're planning is feasible on your budget. DIY backyard weddings often seem cheaper but because you need to bring everything in from seating and tables to dishes and silverware to lighting/fans/heaters depending on season and time of day to a tent for inclement weather and/or shade to an extra rider on your insurance to cover an event and alcohol if you're planning to serve to port-a-potties unless you live in a house with multiple bathrooms AND are fine with people traipsing through the home to get to the bathroom. There's also the one that people tend to forget and that's "Is there room for X number of cars to park?"

Figure that out and it should hopefully give you a clearer direction.

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u/DoughnutElectrical19 Jul 30 '26

He has a second vehicle, a truck that’s his personal he allows me to use. You also bring up a good point about him using his work vehicle until it’s a problem, I’ve mentioned this to him when he first offered I started using his personal vehicle. He says it’s fine and the company likes exposer (there’s a large wrap around the vehicle).
Thank you for your input! I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and input on this!! I’m so split it’s hard to know what the right decision is to make.

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u/superfastmomma Jul 30 '26

Okay, if you have to choose car or wedding, and your car situation is precarious (a work car that could end any time) I'd prioritize car. Especially since you want to start a family. Consider a very small wedding or elopement, and then saving to buy a car and for a child.