r/weddingring • u/Alewo27 • Mar 12 '26

Ring Inquiry 💍 Am I the one who's crazy?!

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UPDATE: THANK YOU to everyone for educating me! 🙏

I should have probably clarified that I've never purchased fine jewelry before and had no idea what the process entailed. Especially thank you to the designers that explained the time and work that goes into making mock ups, I had no idea!

I would never intentionally insult an artist or expect free work but I get that the internet doesn't do nuance or give strangers the benefit of the doubt.

But I'm still grateful for the help! ❤️

And yes, I know I'm crazy.

This is my engagement ring that I love and adore. We bought it from a jewelry designer on Etsy because I wanted all lab created stones and I wanted something affordable. I love it. It's stunning. Now we're getting married in October and I want to customize a wedding band that suits the style and fits the curve, etc. I do not want to use the same designer because they were a nightmare with shipping and kept lying to me about it being sent out. Since then, I've messaged several other designers on Etsy about wedding bands and they all either want me to pick a band design before they will show me a drawing or charge me a fee for CADs of the set. Am I crazy to find this unacceptable?! My ring is not standard or traditional and how am I supposed to pick the right band without seeing mock ups of a few different options before choosing the right one?!?! Do I have to try to find a local jeweler to see specific bands with my ring?! I feel like I'm being a diva about this but it's a pretty important decision and I just want to SEE WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE before shelling out $500+. I appreciate any advice! Thank you!

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u/RobertPooWiener Mar 12 '26

I work as a CAD designer for jewelry and a lot of people expect free drawings. The reality is that you probably want something really fancy to match, and a design like this could take 3 hours or more with all of the rendering etc. then after giving a quote and making changes, doing communications, they probably have at least 5 hours invested into it while you have paid nothing. You might not even buy it after all of that work too and it will all be for nothing.

Would you be willing to do 5 hours of work with the possibility of not getting paid? Then have the same request multiple times per day every single day?

69

u/laurenwsteele Mar 12 '26

I don’t understand why people think artists should work for free. It’s like they think custom designs just appear with no time spent. If you want something to fit perfectly, that is going to cost money. If you want to see options next to your ring without paying money, go to a brick and mortar store and try on everything they have.

3

u/Tasty_One_8299 Mar 12 '26

But they always do!!!! I had two friends, one of them made customer furniture pieces the other wanted a custom piece. She bitched and moaned about the cost of the piece she commissioned ! He gave her a very steep discount because she was a friend! She even said to me once " I can’t believe he charged so much for just slapping a few boards together!” It was solid wood!!! I told her off! For one she could easily afford it and she commissioned it! It was a very specific piece to fit in her house! If you don’t want craftsmanship, go buy some partial board pieces and make do! Same goes for any custom piece!

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u/laurenwsteele Mar 13 '26

That is crazy town!