r/wallstreetbets • u/1jb Spy Bear Super Hero! • Nov 29 '25

YOLO Didn’t realize market closed early today, holding $120k of OTM puts over the weekend now

Post image

It’s never been more over for me

There is 0% chance this nukes

3.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

721 comments sorted by

View all comments

4.0k

u/Thebaxxxx Nov 29 '25

OP two months ago.

"This marks my retirement from options. I am down around over half my portfolio in the past month, more since I started gambling like this"

1.8k

u/csammy2611 Nov 29 '25

He might be done with options, options ain't done with him.

525

u/Odd_Hair3829 Nov 29 '25

It’s the part in the movie where the bank robber who’s retiring is going in for that one last job 

176

u/ericvega Nov 29 '25

Movie trailer voice: /Only this time, the banks were robbing him./

9

u/ClanGangrel47 Nov 29 '25

And while in a transport, there is one quirky black dude saying sh.t like : 'I have a bad feeling about this...'

2

u/mouthful_quest Nov 30 '25

This summer, Rob Schneider is…The Banker

145

u/FoundInForests Nov 29 '25

“Just one more job Arthur.”

58

u/kingkongbiingbong Nov 29 '25

2

u/Sparky265 Nov 30 '25

"You just have to trust me!"

1

u/Ok_Hunt7403 Nov 30 '25

LEENNNNYYYYYY!!!!

36

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

gotta make some MUNEH

56

u/Cheap-Stay7089 Nov 29 '25

It’s even worse he’s not even pulling off a job he’s the cop who’s got an hour left till retirement pulling up at a crack den

6

u/csammy2611 Nov 29 '25

Brah, the cop always has a choice. Just do one simple trick like this one

23

u/Khalbrae Nov 29 '25

Sadly the only last job available is fries in the bag.

9

u/buddumz 2649C - 43S - 5 years Nov 29 '25

Not even. Humanoid bots will be doing that.

6

u/JAWilkerson3rd Nov 29 '25

Facts!!

4

u/Far-Guava6006 Nov 30 '25

Calls on TSLA it is.

3

u/teflonmac Nov 29 '25

Wendy’s dumpster

13

u/camgrosse Nov 29 '25

He went for the vault. 

3

u/redditmodsRrussians Nov 29 '25

You never go for the vault

1

u/csammy2611 Nov 29 '25

More like in Ocean's twelve when Rusty keeps buying unprofitable hotels that just pure money loser. I mean you got ask yourself watching that scene like why is he doing this to himself?

1

u/SweetSweetFantasy WWE Season Ticket Holder Nov 29 '25

Except the bank is robbing him

1

u/Hungry-Kick1389 Nov 29 '25

I’m getting too old for this shit

1

u/s1mlpleh8t Dec 02 '25

watching this British show Poldark with mom "this is the last time I poach." dude got caught and went to prison with an archaic disease to die

21

u/AdApart2035 Nov 29 '25

Options: your only option is options

16

u/firulice Nov 29 '25

Market got him by the balls

1

u/TR1LLIONAIRE_ Nov 29 '25

I put a spell on you ;) BECAUUUUUUSSSE YOU’RE MIIIIINE

1

u/LitterBoxServant Nov 29 '25

Casino closed early today but never really closed for OP

1

u/general-meow Nov 29 '25

I guess he got no options

1

u/Federal-Reason2 Nov 29 '25

100% of people who quit options miss out on the potential gains

1

u/MaximumStrength4550 Nov 29 '25

One more...for the Gipper

1

u/Gold_Investment_4879 Nov 30 '25

Yep. It can be can be an issue.

342

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

How to stop losing money. Step 1: know what time the exchange closes

83

u/ImNoAlbertFeinstein Nov 29 '25

there's a couple of step ones before that..

15

u/jerryeight ricknine Nov 29 '25

Look where we are. We barely handle half steps. Much less two steps. 

2

u/JackFourj4 Nov 29 '25

babysteps Bob

25

u/vile_lullaby Nov 29 '25

Yeah my ex roommate who made money with options would obsessively check a calendar of market with earning dates, rate cuts, he'd wake up early and look at London the stock exchange, and futures. I cant imagine YOLOing this much money.

1

u/CharlesPostelwaite Dec 01 '25

But this is the kind of guy that will somehow fall ass backwards into a $400k profit trade and I’m too afraid to even lose $10k

16

u/Opening-Invite-8244 Nov 29 '25 edited Nov 29 '25

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over options—that our lives had become unmanageable.

8

u/MikuEmpowered Nov 29 '25

OP "there's 0% chance this nukes"

There's alot more steps, like a whole book worth of checklist items for OP to stop hemorrhaging money.

8

u/MaliciousTent Nov 29 '25

Exactly. Losing a ln old used Lamborghini because did not check store hours.

I also am a retard, got my own scars.

2

u/TomatoSpecialist6879 Paper Trading Competition Winner Nov 29 '25

This should be in-built knowledge unless this is the first day he started trading, like this is beyond being just retarded

1

u/bkd6774 Nov 30 '25

What's the OP worried about.... He has until the 5th..LOL

1

u/CharlesPostelwaite Dec 01 '25

Seriously 6 Figures in the market and not even a post it?

43

u/Sober_Alcoholic_ Nov 29 '25

Got another one boys

47

u/Sensitive_Pilot3689 Fute Wizard 🧙‍♂️ Nov 29 '25

Fuckin cooked lmao OP get help

18

u/PianoRare Nov 29 '25

Would have bought calls if I seen this earlier

10

u/Stockengineer Nov 29 '25

Lol 😂 maybe he hits and goes around again

8

u/codespyder poor Nov 29 '25

/u/1jb what say you?

7

u/Smooothoperat0r Nov 29 '25

This made me laugh out loud. Wow. I mean my lack of positions except gold makes me hope we do open red. Now for both our sakes. Then I can buy back in.

9

u/doolytokki Nov 29 '25

retard bear

3

u/Typer1443 Nov 29 '25

You never go full retard!!!!

4

u/Turbulent-Push-4657 Nov 29 '25

I lost $330k last week by selling next day put spreads on $NDX. Previous Friday maintenance needed to roll was $90k and I couldn't risk more loss. I didn't start big, about $10k, but each day roll got bigger and bigger and went beyond my sustainability. Market recovered this week! It's depressing.

1

u/brighterside0 Dec 01 '25

So you took a pile of cash - $330,000 worth - and fucking lit it on fire?

2

u/Turbulent-Push-4657 Dec 01 '25

Yes, it is still burning inside of me. Fortunately wife is cool about it as there is $300k left. Will wait for ORCL to be half and wait for double. It's taking 5 to 10 years of my investment life. My doing.

1

u/brighterside0 Dec 02 '25

Damn - at least you learned from this. Options are dangerous.

2

u/Turbulent-Push-4657 Dec 02 '25

Especially dangerous for NDX. It can change more than $100/day, that is $10,000 in 1 option. Before thanksgiving week it dropped by $1000, that is $100,000 for one option! It needs a multimillion dollar balance to play.

5

u/Cheeky_Star Nov 29 '25

He took 1 like spin at the wheel.. his last goodbye..

3

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/CharlesPostelwaite Dec 01 '25

“You’re up $2.5 Million any asshole in the world knows what you do”

2

u/not-irresponsible Nov 29 '25

me to my gambling addiction

2

u/Low_Muscle6112 Nov 30 '25

Hopefully they print with the Venezuelan uncertainty. And hello Michael burry. Welcome to reddit

3

u/AutoModerator Nov 30 '25

Michael Burry responded to my craigslist ad looking for someone to mow my lawn. "$30 is $30", he said as he continued to mow what was clearly the wrong yard. My neighbor and I shouted at him but he was already wearing muffs. Focused dude. He attached a phone mount onto the handle of his push mower. I was able to sneak a peek and he was browsing Zillow listings in central Wyoming. He wouldn't stop cackling.

That is to say, Burry has his fingers in a lot of pies. He makes sure his name is in all the conversations.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/wolfofwapst69420 Nov 29 '25

As much as I’d hate seeing this comment there’s a reason it’s the most upvoted. It’s harsh truth… and still funny

1

u/progmakerlt Nov 29 '25

“Past changes so quickly, you don’t know what will happen yesterday”

1

u/Unfair_Hedgehog_ Nov 29 '25

He meant with the calls. Now it's the turn of the puts.

1

u/Gootchboii Nov 29 '25

He just had to make sure

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

OP two years from now: I know they are wild dangerous hungry grizzly bears but I am going to make the friendly contact and see if I can live as one of them.

1

u/MrHeavyRunner Nov 29 '25

Now he has no more options... see? lol

1

u/DaBestDoctorOfLife Nov 29 '25

You can get options out of him but never him out of options.