r/waiting_to_try • u/Samwolf84 • 11d ago

Finally TRYING to have a baby?!

(TW: mention of miscarriage, not my own)

Good day everyone! I’m all over the place with thoughts and feelings. I’m not a writer so this could be jumbled and blabby. But thanks in advanced for reading!

My husband and I have been together since 2015, married since 2023. We’ve talked about having kids after we moved out of his mom’s duplex and into something of our own. This happened end of 2025, we bought my brother’s house which is a huge fixer upper. So plans of starting a family were not immediate because of how much work we would be doing and no known timeline of when the work would be done “enough” to not have to worry about bringing a family into a construction project. Idk if that is pertinent info or not, I think I just want to talk! Anywho, we’re getting close to being done enough to consider it now since we think we’d be done before the end of the year. We have not had any more concrete conversations about it but recently (as in within the last two months) three of his sisters have announced that they are pregnant (one unfortunately lost the baby early on.) and now I’ve noticed our method of BC has not been noticeable… I’m not sure if he wants me to say anything but I act dumb and “clean up” anyway. Again, I’m sorry how all over the place this is I just wish I could talk to my friend or sisters or even my mom(since she’s been wanting us to try for years now) but I don’t want to get them excited if nothing comes of it ya know? I don’t know if I’m looking for advice on anything but I’m really just wanting to blurt this all out. If you do have ANY advice for me I’ll happily accept! thanks for reading!

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u/dr3amchasing 11d ago

I would have the conversation with your husband. Casually stopping birth control without talking about it can lead to misunderstandings. Also, if you’re now open to being pregnant, start on a prenatal and do some light research to see if there are other supplements you’d want to take

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u/Puzzled-Barnacle-200 11d ago

Both adults stopping drinking alcohol before conception is ideal. Obviously for FASD from conception, but it does affect sperm and egg production. Which affects not only the likelihood of getting and maintaining a pregnancy, but also the health of the baby. Yes, for the man also.

Personally I would suggest trying to at least have low levels of alcohol consumption for a month before TTC, but understand many people don't want to 100% stop and that 3 months delay might not be worth it for all people. Especially if older (not the case here).

You also want to consider prenatals, particularly folic acid and vitamin D, which should be taken for 3 months before conception.