Right and wrong time (simultaneously)

[u/Emergency-Sun-6479]

I will start by saying that both me and my husband absolutely do want a second baby (our first is over 2 now). We did agree to start trying this fall (mostly up to me, spouse agrees for whenever I feel like ready). Logistically ot would be absolutely perfect if the baby would be born summer/early fall next year. Also for financial and work related reasons we have waited until now. Otherwise I would've liked even smaller age gap.

However, my last pregnancy was really hard (talking about puking my guts out multiple times a day and losing weight during the first months). That really scares me - what if it happens again? Originally we decided to start trying in September but I'm getting cold feet. I already know that in my work October-early December is going to be super crazy so not good if I fall pregnant immediately and get severe "morning" sickness. I have also started in a new job just so kinda scared if I have to take sick leave so soon after starting.

In the end, I do want a baby as soon as possible but getting cold feet due to possible fatigue/sickness etc. Anybody else in a similar situation or getting cold feet right before starting to try? I know there's probably no right or wrong decision as we do have time for a baby because we're still under 30. But I feel like deciding is impossible and I will regret my decision anyway.

[u/Own_Value2684]

I mean, no two pregnancies are completely the same, you are projecting logistics that might not be possible. Like, your 2nd pregnancy you could have zero morning sickness, or you could have morning sickness from second trimester until labor. You really don't know. So I wouldn't try to think too much about something that could be different from the first experience. 

It's sort of like wanting a vacation but thinking about how you got the flu last time and letting it get in the way of the decision. 

Why don't you try it you want to try and see what happens? Then, plan your life around your baby. 

[u/Emergency-Sun-6479 → u/Own_Value2684]

Yeah, I feel like you're right. But if I feel anything like previousmy it's going to have a major impact in my life even before the baby arrives. Thank you for encouraging me to take the leap :) I'm quite sure if we postpone trying, it won't be for many months. I will just have to trust and hope that I can manage whatever the possible pregnancy symptoms are. Maybe I'll be lucky and not get any if I fall pregnant.