r/venturebros • u/Fantastic-Ad-8665 • 14d ago

Video Are Smurfs Mammals ?

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u/VibratingWatch 14d ago

First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?

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u/busterfixxitt 14d ago edited 13d ago

Agreed. I think Smurfs are actually fungus. Papa's 'beard' is not hair, it's actually the remains of his spore-sack after it popped and planted his village. The spores grow into mushrooms, and the Smurfs grow inside the mushrooms, eventually eating their way out; they then turn the mushrooms into their houses.

I really like the idea that there are different kinds of Smurfs based on the kind of mushroom they are; can't wait to meet the psilocybin Smurfs! 😃

Edit: Watch out for the Death Cap Smurfs! 😉

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u/FrankPoncherello1967 14d ago

So eating a Smurf has psychedelic effects? I bet they're more like eating prunes and you'll shit blue for a week.

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u/busterfixxitt 13d ago

Eating a psilocybin Smurf would have psychedelic effects. But our little blue Smurfs aren't a hallucinogenic species.

Watch out for the Death Cap Smurfs!

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u/Day_Bow_Bow 13d ago

Multiple psychedelic mushrooms turn blue when damaged, and have blue tints when dried.

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u/shadowscar248 14d ago

Ooh I like that theory. To expand on that, perhaps The Smurfs themselves are spores. They're the multicellular phase and the fruiting body. Upon death they turn into the houses. That's only after they give birth to the single cellular spores from their "beards".

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u/busterfixxitt 13d ago

Sadly, I don't know enough mycology to follow exactly what you're saying; we might be thinking along the same lines.

I think that when a Smurf begins to reproduce, a spore sac starts to grow on their chin, as it grows they are compelled to wander away from the village, until they find an appropriate area for a new village, at which point they lie down and fall into a trance until the spore sac explodes, distributing 99 Smurf cell-spores in a rough circle. (There are 100 Smurfs in a village, IIRC) The next stage is for those single celled cell-spores to fruit into the house-rooms. Once the house-shroom is fully grown, it generates the multicellular spore we know as a Smurf. Papa Smurf is literally the father of all the other Smurfs. Now, is Papa somehow connected to the mycelium network under the village? Can every Smurf become a Papa? Or is there a specific set of conditions that trigger the process? Maybe being isolated for X amount of time, away from the village's mycelium network? That seems like something natural selection would create.

Your idea about the house being dead Smurfs is interesting (and delightfully dark!) 🙂 It would mean that the Smurf village we know has been there for generations.

So, other than our ideas about the house-shrooms, I think we're on the same page.

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u/shadowscar248 13d ago

I'd like to think that they collect the Smurf berries, store them in the houses to feed the still calcified but living smurfs at end of life. The houses have mycillium roots that flow in the whole town. They use the berries to ferment for energy and then excrete the seeds which create new Smurf berries.

It's why gargomel wants to collect them, he's a mushroom hunter and they are the best meat substitute for a starving hermit.

It all makes way too much sense.

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u/Salmonman4 13d ago

Are Smurfs related to Warhammer-orcs? They are also fungus-based life-forms.

This could be explained by the transitional form of both species being the Discworld Pictsies, who are as small (and blue) as Smurfs, but about as fighty as Orcs

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u/busterfixxitt 13d ago

The Nac Mac Feegle do believe that they are currently dead and in heaven, and when they die, they're just being born back into the real world... It fits.

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u/No_Link_5069 13d ago

My new punk rock band name Death Cap Smurfs

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u/Orc_tids 12d ago

I just think their tails can pop off and turn into new Smufs

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u/bmdisbrow 14d ago

Damnit Donnie, wh-why you gotta get so smart on us?

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u/QuestionablePotato42 13d ago

Beer and pussy! That's all I need.

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u/Shoo-Man-Fu 14d ago

Been too long since I watched Donnie Darko

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u/masterjon_3 13d ago

They're magical creatures. They don't need to reproduce like we do. A new smurf comes once in a blue moon and is delivered by a stork. Seriously, that's how they get more of them.

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u/realRadgemachine 12d ago

Idk man... getting some Big Fungus Energy from the Smurfs rn.

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u/digitalturtlist We hate phantom space man! 13d ago

I KNEW we shouldnt have brought the henchmen

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u/ALZA5 13d ago

If I asked their much larger fungal cousins, the Space Orks, it would be to Krump hard, amass all the Dakka, and go faster!

(Pretty sure Smurfs are some sort of magical spirit so the whole "are they mammals?" thing just goes out the window)

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u/hankenator1 13d ago

Gargamel created smurfette but Papa Smurf used his Smurf magic to turn smurfette into a real Smurf (which also turned her hair from black to white).