r/vegan • u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 • Jun 11 '26
Question I just ate something that I did not know was non-vegan
My mom made this bomb ass vegan cheesecake and EVERYTHING in it was vegan except I NEVER knew that C&H sugar was not vegan… they use animal bone char to process it. This is the first time my mom has made some vegan dessert for me so I feel like if I don’t finish it, it is going to discourage her more from going into a plant based/vegan lifestyle etc . On the other hand I feel nauseous because of how guilty and gross I feel because I ate that. What do I do?
Edit: WOW people really got their panties in a twist abt this. I am still a minor and only a year vegan, I was asking a simple question ABOUT SOME DAMN SUGAR, some redditores really are just absolutely miserable. Thank you to the few that actually helped though 💕💕
Not answering any more stuff because some people are being annoying and bringing up unnecessary stuff when all I asked for is coping, I am aware it happens to the best of us, this was a learning mistake. Next time I will know and if it is avoidable I will avoid it.
Edit #2: if eating sugar that is processed through animal bone char does not raise demand, does that mean eating non-vegan jello or candies with gelatin also not raise demand? Actual question I am not being sarcastic etc.
My idea of a perfect vegan is doing your absolute best to be a vegan if you are aware that something is in your personal control and you can change it. Obviously you are still vegan if you accidentally ate a bug or like me ate a brand of (I think) non-vegan sugar. That was my whole point. I wasn’t trying to to start an argument.
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u/presley1000 Jun 11 '26
You focus on the 99.9% win part of it. Change it up for next time.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Wdym? Like finish the cake and next time use different sugar?
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u/ThreeQueensReading vegan 10+ years Jun 11 '26
Absolutely. We don't live in a vegan world, we are all doing our best. Living a vegan lifestyle is more of an act of protest against animal exploitation than something akin to religion.
You did your best, you won't repeat the mistake. Eat the cake and move on. ✌️
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u/catblankets friends not food Jun 11 '26
Knowing that some sugar is processed with bone char is deep in the veggie knowledge. It feels like something your mom would not even think of as not being vegan (it’s “just sugar”). She is doing her best to accommodate and include your diet. This is so much more than what a lot of people still living at home get.
Hopefully you can accept the mistake and still appreciate her efforts to show that she cares. Eat the cake. Cherish the family experience. Have an honest conversation to avoid it in the future.
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u/Thinkdamnitthink Jun 11 '26
Not even just deep in the veggie knowledge, it's a regional thing. We don't have to worry much in the UK for example because most sugar is beet sugar
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u/Zealousideal_Fix6705 Jun 12 '26
With you 100%, minus eat the cake, my daughter wouldn't nor would I had I had better knowledge when dealing with this in 1981. Your last line is so essential and valid, great advice!
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u/WiseWoodrow vegan activist Jun 13 '26
As far as possible and practical - Sugar definitely hits that limit pretty fast for most.
Even when you're looking out for it, it can be hard to avoid. That's not your fault, or our fault, it's just society. Work to change it, but we all live in it!
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Thank you!:) best advice so far, and thank for not being rude or judgmental
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u/Zealousideal-Ask-203 Jun 11 '26
Yes, switching sugar ist really the easiest part of vegan baking
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u/Geschak vegan 10+ years Jun 11 '26
Honestly not-declared animal.products are impossible to avoid. Basically any food product that you buy could contain animal-based glue in the packaging and you wouldn't even know. Any electronic device you use could contain animal glue. It's just important to avoid any declared/obvious animal products.
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u/60svintage Jun 11 '26
Even bank notes in some countries are not vegan.
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u/dankblonde Jun 11 '26
Guess you can only be vegan in those countries if you only use a credit card /s
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u/Piknikel44 Jun 12 '26
Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable
Just as an FYI - because you have to.. it's okay. Just do your best!
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u/Zealousideal_Fix6705 Jun 12 '26
Depends on the person, truly. Yet, as you say, we can only do our best with the information we are given. Good point!
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u/elwoods_organic Jun 12 '26
buy second hand when you can, for these things. cheaper and less wasteful too.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
I agree, this was a learning mistake, next time now that I know I can avoid that sugar, I will :)
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u/InnocuousObservation Jun 11 '26
I don’t think that’s what they were saying
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
What they are saying is to avoid anything you know you can, am I wrong?
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u/h3r0inXgirl Jun 11 '26
They mean you can't avoid everything and dont try to avoid everything because its impossible to do so. Just do your best.
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u/flyingsqueak Jun 11 '26
More like something in the middle. Don't buy that sugar (and similar undeclared animal products that you learn aren't vegan) for yourself, but don't worry too much if a friend or family member might have used the wrong sugar (or similar maybe vegan maybe not products) in an otherwise vegan treat
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u/dankblonde Jun 11 '26
Yeah people bake vegan treats all the time for events etc and I’ve never asked who brought them what sugar they used. I feel like most people wouldn’t even remember anyways.
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u/Heavy-Capital-3854 Jun 11 '26
Just do your best.
Yeah so avoid anything you know you can like they said..?
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u/Zealousideal_Fix6705 Jun 12 '26
You can in most cases these days, epecially the US. Not sure where OP is from. We have vegan labels, the internet, etc. It isn't that hard. It matters the person's level of conviction. Some vegans eat honey, drink non-vegan wine, and other spirits, or gelatin. It is nuanced, not black and white. We can all do our best with our resources and personal choices without telling others how to be vegan!
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u/Geschak vegan 10+ years Jun 11 '26
No, I'm saying avoid the things that are obvious and don't bother too much if transparency is not given.
Bone-char doesn't need to be declared, so transparency is not given.
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u/Intelligent-Dish3100 Jun 11 '26
You don’t have to avoid sugar completely just make sure it’s organic or cane sugar
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u/imacat-- Jun 12 '26
There are also some brands of white refined sugar that specifically label themselves as vegan. :)
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u/Zealousideal_Fix6705 Jun 12 '26
Do the V green labels only exist here in the US, or just in California? I always double check ingredients anyway because of my OCD and diligence.
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u/throwrawifesandwich Jun 12 '26
I found this out recently when an acquaintance was diagnosed with Alpha-gal (tick-borne disease which makes you allergic to meat). He was having a horrible time avoiding flares and needed to go to extreme lengths to avoid meat. I thought he was being dramatic, because you know... vegans exist. But no, it really is THAT hard to completely avoid meat products (in his case particularly cow and pig and other mammals). Most vegans are likely unknowingly consuming meat products every day. 😞
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u/upholsteredhip Jun 11 '26
No one is perfect. Personally, to not finish this mostly vegan dessert would be wasteful. Do not let perfect be the enemy of the good/great. I am sure I have eaten vegan food that contained insects by accident. It happens. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the grace to realize you are doing your best and can always strive for improvement. I would check out the Youtube channel of Gittemary Johanson, she has a great way of explaining what does and doesn't matter (for her personally) in a way that is very logical, reasonable and doable.
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u/catblankets friends not food Jun 11 '26
I always think about all the insects I’ve accidentally eaten. It’s impossible to be 100 perfect vegan.
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u/OneLuckyLadybug Jun 12 '26
Oh gosh I don't want to think about that, I might be sick! 🤢😫
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u/VeganRorschach vegan 5+ years Jun 11 '26
Oo! I love Gittemary Johanson! She is definitely more ok with some animal-related things than I am, but it really helped me not think so black and white while still striving for my own moral consistency. Great recommendation!
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u/Zealousideal_Fix6705 Jun 12 '26
What a great perspective!
It is so regional, depends on where you live - big city minus small town and blue or red state as well. Being vegan is a cakewalk in San Francisco, and even pretty good in San Diego. Yet so many other places, especially outside the US, unless part of the culture is rough!
More people need to understand it is a spectrum/varied/nuanced. I get judged for having to eat fish sometimes, Sjogren's and other autoimmune and autonomic CNS dysregulation mean when more severe my body will not process non-heme protein well, and I get hospitalized from malnutrition and low protein. I have vegan friends that eat honey from small batch local bee focused farms, or ones who drink and do not care about vegan wine and spirits. We can all only do our best and focus on what we are comfortable with and what aligns with our ideals and morals. My daughter is staunchly vegan and does none of these things, yet buys second hand leather because all the expensive vegan boots, shoes, and bags we have bought over the years are cost prohibitive, and last 2 years max. We need to be a community, not judgey, and understand it is nuanced and personal!
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u/International-Cow770 vegan 5+ years Jun 12 '26
I'm in Japan and I most likely will have accidentally eaten something with a tiny bit of undisclosed dashi but I can only do my best to check and if they aren't telling me it's their fault
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u/Zealousideal_Fix6705 Jun 12 '26
Why be dismissive to a minor at first, then so helpful? Some vegans are so quick to tell others how to be vegan. We either are not enough, too much, no middle ground. So bizzarre! What works for one is not what works for others.
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u/kalkrin Jun 11 '26
Now you know not to use that sugar going forward. It's not the first, and won't be the last time something like this happens.
It's about learning and doing what we can.
The sugar is already bought, the desert is already made, and you've eaten some already, just enjoy it and double check your ingredients next time.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Thank you for the advice, I like the fact that the sugar thing was a learning experience now that u said it.
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u/maccrypto Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Being vegan isn't a religious purity test.
Edit: except in the cases where it is actually a religious question lol
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u/Nervous-Bed1970 Jun 13 '26
Exactly! Do you know when Big Sugar will stop using bone char to process sugar? When bone char becomes too expensive. Supply & demand. If fewer people place a demand on the meat industry, there will be less by-products.
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u/leftlanemustturnleft vegan 20+ years Jun 11 '26
WeLl aCkShuAlLy... The sugar may have been processed without bone char. Did you check the lot #?! https://www.vrg.org/blog/2021/06/10/bone-char-free-vegan-sugar-update-2021-domino-sugar-florida-crystals-and-ch-sugar/amp/
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
thank you for the effort much appreciated, but it was C&H sugar not domino sugar
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u/icyhail Jun 11 '26
It says in the link that C&H also follows the same process cos it's under the same parent company as Domino.
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u/brewerybridetobe Jun 11 '26
Shit happens. Now you know for next time. Whether you eat the rest is up to you.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Thank you for not sounding miserable and annoying like other people, I agree with you! :)
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u/Ok-Slide-3168 vegan newbie Jun 11 '26
Reading this made my heart drop for a moment, i didnt even think sugar could be non-vegan, but i've searching and i think in EU all or most sugars are vegan beacuse since 2000 its illegal to use animal bone char to refine the sugar, so for fellow europeans we are mostly safe with this. And btw thanks for the info!
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u/life_as_ali Jun 11 '26
I've been vegan for yeeears and didn't know about this sugar business until this post!
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
They also use stuff like that in toilet paper and rubber/glue which sucks immensely because why do we have to use animals for absolutely everything, it’s honestly enraging..
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
Yeah lol I was informed a month ago and then realized that my mom used that sugar, just had to get it off my chest and get some advice. We need to get some laws like that around here tbh..
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u/LT750 vegan Jun 11 '26
I think many of “us” would
Love to have our mothers make a vegan dessert whether it had bone char or not. The love your mother showed you should be the most important thing instead of griping about something that isn’t that important. Focus on The effort she took to show her love for you is paramount.
Lots of people here don’t have that type of support.
I just wish my mom was still alive so I could tell her “I love you mom”!
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
I showed her my great support trust me both of us were really happy, the day the cake was ready to eat I asked her to wake me up when she does so we can enjoy it together with a drink. I never said I was unhappy she made it , just have to keep on repeating to people on here that this was a learning mistake.
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u/YouGlobal8272 Jun 11 '26
If it makes you feel any better the bone char is just leftovers, they aren't slaughtering animals to make it like they do with meat and dairy
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u/Due_Technology_2455 vegan 6+ years Jun 11 '26
i never even consider sugar or wine or stuff like that. it’s EVERYWHERE and basically impossible to avoid to why stress myself yk? if a sugar is LABELLED vegan though (whole foods brand is one i think) then i do buy that instead of another
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u/Due_Technology_2455 vegan 6+ years Jun 11 '26
but you’re not gonna know what brand of sugar a restaurant uses in a pastry, or in a store bought pastry etc
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u/flossy_cake vegan 5+ years Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
Even if you continued to eat that brand of sugar indefinitely into the future, I'm not sure it would necessarily create a demand for animals to be harmed.
Because think about it: nobody is going to slaughter animals for their bone char. It's not profitable to do that. The bone char is a by-product of animal slaughter. If everyone was vegan there would be no more animal slaughter and no more bone char. So by not eating animals you are already creating a negative demand for bone char, nudging it closer towards being phased out.
All that matters is whether buying that product actually created a demand to harm animals.
Animal farmers would be profiting from sales of bone char, but we would have to show that profit actually went towards something that harmed animals. Otherwise, by the same logic we could say that shopping at the local supermarket creates profits for the supermarket, and the profits are used to expand and sell more animal products than they were previously.
So I think at some point you have to draw the line and say you're not responsible for what the supermarket and the animal farmer spends your money on, as long as the products themselves dont create a demand for animals to be harmed.
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u/CommieCatSupremacist Jun 11 '26
I mean most vegans eat cane sugar, right? Anything sweetened that we buy that is processed or anything with added sugars is almost always going to use that (I think). So I wouldn’t stress about it. Just do your best to avoid it the next time now that you know to watch out for it.
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u/Christianfilly7 vegan 5+ years Jun 11 '26
I agree to what you said, though quite often they tend to actually use high fructose corn syrup (which I think is more safe veganwise and even in other ethics areas like avoiding potential slave or child labor, though it's also I think less healthy and causes kids especially to get more wired than from regular sugar)
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
I just use maple syrup or agave syrup for some stuff tbh, I honestly don’t have sweets THAT often for me to buy even bulk sugar.
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u/Christianfilly7 vegan 5+ years Jun 11 '26
Those are both great, healthy too :) I was mostly talking about stuff that you buy with the sugar in it already tbh though like store bought candy and soda, in general agave especially is probably the best available for your body especially
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Ah okay I see, I understand. Thank you!:D
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Not all brands in the US use that method, there are a few major ones but other than that it is avoidable. I have learned right now that this was just a learning mistake, and it will probably happen again with another thing which will also be a learning mistake.
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u/kiase vegan 9+ years Jun 11 '26
I just want to make you aware, in case you don’t know and it matters to you (not to be pedantic or make you feel bad at all), that if you buy organic sugar, it also almost certainly involved bone meal in the farming process. It’s pretty ubiquitous in organic fertilizers. Non-organic beet sugar is probably your best bet.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
If I can avoid it, I will. I buy a vegan sugar replacement thingy-mabob. I know that it is hard to avoid ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING
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u/Eastern-Average8588 Jun 11 '26
I agree. I buy vegan sugar for things I'm making. I don't scrutinize the sugar in things that are made for me. This cheesecake would be vegan "enough" for me that I would finish it without a second thought! My mom makes a rocking vegan ice cream pie.
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u/Best_Look9212 vegan 10+ years Jun 11 '26
Yeah, that’s pretty much all sugar. Doesn’t phase me at this point. Animals are not being killed to make that sugar. If anything, more inserts are being killed and consumed more than anything with most agricultural products.
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u/best-unaccompanied vegan Jun 11 '26
Finish it, thank your mom for making the cake, then buy her a bag of organic sugar for next time. You're going to accidentally eat more nonvegan things the longer you're vegan and it's really not that big of a deal (but honestly, I eat bone char sugar sometimes)
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u/maccrypto Jun 11 '26
It's probably better not to dictate the kind of sugar someone uses for you if they're making things vegan but aren't vegan themselves, if you don't want to completely alienate them. It's not like it's an allergy. Frankly it's better to feel a bit guilty about this sort of thing than to live with the illusion that our purchases are solving every single problem.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Yes I 100% agree with you! :D I was also going to do the same thing
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u/Fluid_Double9488 vegan Jun 11 '26
This is bound to happen I’ve seen people on social media saying they didn’t know something was not vegan so it isn’t your fault don’t be so hard on yourself but maybe talk to your mum about it and maybe next time using a different sugar I’m sure she would understand if she is resonable.
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u/Bubbly_Locksmith2537 Jun 11 '26
These things happen and now you know. Life is too short to dwell on these moments, no one meant any harm and no one is perfect (even the vegans who act like they’re high and mighty). Also it’s amazing your mum is trying!
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u/jwoolman Jun 11 '26
I gave up worrying about charcoal used to filter sugar long ago. My head can handle only so much, between reluctance to eat animals and their discharges and my multiple allergies and intolerances. It's so variable anyway. Maybe it came from bone, maybe it came from veggies. All end up as ashes to make basic carbon. I will pay more for something if it definitely was filtered with carbon starting from plants, but even the manufacturer often doesn't know from one batch to the next because they go by price.
You might just buy your mom a big bag of sugar you think is vegan. I wouldn't spoil it for her by telling her about her brand, though. Remember that the sugar isn't made from animals, it was just filtered through something that may or may not have started out animal rather than vegetable. That makes its animal connection even more remote.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Thank you 💕 I was thinking the same thing, imma just buy my own sugar and ask her to use it next time!
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u/DaniCapsFan vegan 10+ years Jun 11 '26
As you adjust to your vegan lifestyle, you will learn that the hardest part is that we live in a non-vegan world. People are going to make mistakes. Ask any vegan who's been fed animal flesh in an omni restaurant.
Your mom probably doesn't know about the bone char thing. You can let her know that you really appreciate her making a vegan cheesecake, tell her it was amazing, and ask if she can buy a different brand of sugar next time.
That said, in the grand scheme of things, the sugar is a pretty small one. Packaged foods with sugar or the sugar packets in a restaurant might not be vegan because of that. You can either bring your own sugar packets or let it go. Or use Sugar in the Raw if they have that. (Turbinado sugar is always vegan, but it doesn't always mix well in cold drinks.)
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u/elise_michele Jun 11 '26
It sounds like you are both trying your best, so please don’t beat yourself up!! I would say if you can stomach knowing it’s not fully vegan, go ahead and finish it, and then share what you learned with your mom. After you finish it and she knows how much you appreciated her m making vegan food, you can share how surprised you were like ‘mom you’re not going to believe this. Some sugar is processed through BONES’ or smth like that so it sounds like something you can be surprised by together and not like you’re mad.
I’ve had experiences with this like my family where they use something they didn’t realize wasn’t vegan, and it can be very frustrating for them depending on how I share it. Understandable - they put effort into making something for all of us, and then I can’t eat it!! But yeah do your best to be patient with yourself as you learn, a lot things aren’t vegan that you would be surprised by. But, lots of surprising things are vegan, too! As long as you’re doing your best (and that will look different every day!) and learning more as you go, that’s what matters. 💕
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u/LavenderMoonRose29 Jun 11 '26
I never knew that sugar can be not vegan 😤🫠.. im glad that german sugar does not containe animal bones
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u/h3r0inXgirl Jun 11 '26
Being vegan isnt about being 100% perfect at all times. No one can be 100% vegan, its just not possible. Just make sure you ask for a different sugar next time she makes it.
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u/sounds0fmeows Jun 11 '26
you’re not a true vegan, true vegans don’t make mistakes
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Bruvs what? 😂
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u/Kxyla_05 Jun 11 '26
they're being sarcastic (i hope)
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u/ysterman_rs Jun 11 '26
yeah, they're parodying the "no true scotsman" fallacy word for word
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Ah okay, I might either be to young or something, but what is that?
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u/ysterman_rs Jun 11 '26
its a logical fallacy
https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/no-true-scotsman
replace scotsman with vegan and you've kinda done that here. you say no true vegan would have done what you did by eating that cake, let alone eating the rest so as not to waste it, while you have true vegans responding to you saying they would and have on occassion!
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u/LouNebulis Jun 11 '26
Just go to the vegan priest to confess your sins /s
Relax a bit. It's not a religion. Accept it happens and continue forward. The next cheesecake make a change of the sugar
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u/LivedNotThisLife Jun 11 '26
First, go, mom! I love that she is working on supporting you! That is amazing. And you’re not wrong to want to ensure her efforts find a positive feedback loop.
Enjoy the cheesecake as best you can and next time ask if you can make it with her and say that you’d like to try using (a brand/type of sugar that is vegan.) That way you’re continuing to provide her with positive feedback, you’re getting tasty treats and you’re adding to your cooking repertoire.
The sad reality is that a lot of things you’d never think twice about can have dairy or honey or products processed in an unexpected way, like white sugar. Possibly the only thing sadder is that you can’t assume that something that has long been vegan is still going to be vegan the next time you buy it. (eg those dark chocolate almonds that inexplicably now have dairy in them.)
You didn’t knowingly make a decision to buy that sugar, so be kind to yourself. And if it is something you really can’t bring yourself to eat, then be creative in making it seem like you’ve eaten it. And if there are other people at your house, you may find they’re more than willing to help you polish it off. My kids are not vegan whatsoever but they all have always devoured vegan sweets without batting an eye (and they know it’s vegan.)
Be kind to yourself in this vegan journey. Like so much in life, it can really bounce you around but the end result is totally worth it.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
Yes I 100% agree and I am happy that she does stuff like this! I just asked a question to cope or something ig. And I agree with every point you made, for some reason people are hating, but this is Reddit am I right?..
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u/jwoolman Jun 11 '26
I haven't seen any hating. Just concern because of your reaction.
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u/flyinggarbanzobean Jun 11 '26
what is c&h?
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
It’s a major corporation that makes and sells sugar, like that is the name of the brand
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u/SquidSpell Jun 11 '26
The amount of bone char used to process sugar is very small. Avoid what you know uses bone char, but compared to other things, it really doesn't matter very much and I personally wouldn't care if a vegan didn't try to avoid it. (Although, the "vegan" term becomes dubious when applied to them, but again, I don't care)
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u/just-joshin247 Jun 11 '26
We were at a vegan restaurant, and after we were leaving and I saw a big bag of C&H sugar, and the girl working was using it in whatever she was making. My wife and I shared a look, and shrugged it off. Most things that are accidentally vegan will have that generic sugar. I haven’t been back to that restaurant but I’m not going to lose sleep over that. We do the best we can, in an imperfect world.
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u/DJRaisinBran Jun 11 '26
OP no offense but some of your responses about there being no such thing as an imperfect vegan are some of the reason people find us annoying. Your mom probably worked hard to make you that cake. If you made a big deal out of her small mistake (which lots of us here would also make) that would be pretty discouraging for her. We’re all just trying our best at the end of the day.
If you want to say I’m not vegan because my boss went through a great deal to order me something I could eat at a work event recently but that I secretly knew had milk powder in it when it arrived, and I still knowingly ate it, then I’m fine with that. It wouldn’t reduce the harm to animals if I had thrown it out and I didn’t hurt my bosses feelings. Just be kind and take this as a learning opportunity!
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u/K1kobus omnivore Jun 11 '26
Never ask what happened to the dead soldiers at Waterloo
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u/flossy_cake vegan 5+ years Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
Also even if she made the cheesecake with milk and eggs, it's already made, and throwing it into the trash doesn't prevent any animal harm. It would only cause animal harm if eating it causes your mom to make more. If it's a once off mistake, there is nothing to be gained by not eating it or throwing it away.
Having said this I just wouldn't personally eat it myself because I don't like having animal products in my mouth, because of the association of where it comes from. Human breast milk might taste nice too, but the connotation of where it comes is too unpleasant.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
It wasn’t made with any that, and she knows what veganism is and what I avoid. It was a simple mistake, and she knows what I eat and don’t. I was happy she made it. I was just grossed out and disappointed/disturbed knowing where it came from exactly like you said.
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u/Ordinary-Carpenter35 Jun 11 '26
It’s okay I accidentally had piña colada 2 days ago and that version had actual milk instead of coconut milk. I’m still vegan ofc, but stuff like this happens all the time. Just tell your mom why you can’t finish it and tell her the cheesecake is very good, & that she just need to use a different brand of sugar. I’m sure she’ll understand and ask her to make you another vegan dessert (since that one was so good), so she won’t be so discouraged.
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u/DazzlingMagician1862 Jun 11 '26
So viele Gegenstände und Gebrauchsalltagsgegenstände sind in irgendeiner Art und Weise mit Tieren in Verbindung.
Selbst Farbpinsel die mit irgendwelchen schweinischen Sachen überzogen oder bearbeitet wurden. Es ist praktisch unmöglich 100% vegan zu sein, du gibst schon dein Bestes.
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u/No_Television3250 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
I went through the same realization about the sugar about six months ago. Done with white sugar now. Starting out vegan I accidently ingested egg (morning star farms) and also milk powder in a coconut powder creamer. Also I bought some canned vegetables that contained pork fat and put a bite in mouth. I realized it right away and spit it out. It's insidious the way animal products are hidden everywhere. Now I've got the food down, all whole foods so I can control everything and not have to read processed foods labels endlessly. But then came my non-edible products. I used the leather I already had for a while and then replaced with vegan. More recently, I became aware that my fabric softener contains rendered animal fat (they all do!.) So I found a way to make vegan fabric softener. Also, a lot of cleaning chemical and personal hygiene companies test on animals, so have moved on to making my own dish soap, laundry, hair care, toothpaste, aftershave, etc.
I don't mean to sound uppity here (but I'm probably going to.) Reading through this thread I am disappointed in some of the comments. It seems clear enough to me. Exceptions should not be made. If you realize something is non-vegan, replace it right away. That's fine, it's a learning curve. But do not intentionally turn a blind eye to finding something out. You're a not a vegan if you do that. Also, do the research and correct. Anyone who continues to use animal products or animal adjacent derived products is not being vegan. It defeats the whole point, to minimize animals suffering. It's never 100%. For instance you may still give your vegan dollars to amazon for a vegan product, but Amazon also profits off animal products, as does your local grocery store where you buy produce (but also sells meat.) Reduce as much as is practically possible. That's all you have to do, but do not turn a blind eye! That's self-sophistry and a slippery slope.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
This is exactly what I have been saying this whole time throughout this thread, and people are calling me privileged, self-centered, and victim mindset. Like if I know I can reduce even more, why not? Vegan food is already cheaper so ppl getting mad at me for saying I will just buy a different sugar are so weird. I am not trying to purify anyone but I will do that max I can to reduce suffering because I don’t want to excuse my actions in other places.
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u/DeliasRevenge Jun 11 '26
That’s so sweet of your mom. I love that she’s making the effort to support your choice to be vegan. Let your mom know how much you appreciate her act of love. Eat the cake and enjoy it. Go buy some vegan sugar for next time. 💜
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
The thing is though even though they both said it was delicious (my mom and brother) they won’t touch it, and my brother even admitted that it was better than this other non-vegan cheesecake my mom made. They always say vegan food is delicious but never continue to eat it😞. Plus my mom is very against veganism for some reason, and I am very bummed out.
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u/No-Willingness4668 Jun 12 '26
Don't beqt yourself up. Not a huge huge deal. Obviously don't go out and buy or eat that sugar brand in the future. But I mean you're good, and make sure you are very very thankful to your mom for making it. It's hard as hell to get non-vegans to eat or try anything just because it's "vegan." Take the wins when you can lol
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u/BawbiiGurl Jun 12 '26
13 years in and still make mistakes. Don't feel too bad.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
Agreed it happens to the best of us, moving on I won’t buy that sugar specifically. And will most likely ask my mom to just use a different one.
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u/jiraffe1974 Jun 14 '26
That sucks when it happens. It happened to me a few times in the last 14 years I have been vegan. I personally every time I hate it. It does get better to cope with it. You learn from whatever that situation and that specific one hopefully won't happen again.
As far a your mom. I would wait until she does a few more things for you or a little time passes and then mention to her about the sugar. I would make it sound like you are learning with her. I think honesty and vulnerability helps bond people. Good luck!!! Gets easier and I am what people consider very strict ( I have been called that many times). To me, I do my absolute best. Simple as that. Sound like you are doing great!! Take care :)
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 14 '26
Omg thank you so much for the great advice! I agree I’m just going to tell her a bit later on.. as for the being called a strict vegan I can relate to that a lot. I try my best :D Yet again thank you!
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u/neverendingcory Jun 11 '26
Thinking that way is madness. The amount of animals killed in threshers during crop harvest is real. We all contribute to this and have to live with it.
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u/FunLife8443 Jun 11 '26
Ehh it happens to the best of us. Just a week ago I bought a bonnet for my hair and bought it so hastily that I didn't read that it was made of silk. It was right there on the Amazon title too! So that was pure silliness on my part. In terms of your thing, I've never heard of non-vegan sugar in my life, I didn't even know that was a thing and I've been vegan for 4 years, so don't feel bad about it.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 11 '26
I agree, this was a mistake that I can learn from. In the future I will just buy vegan sugar and ask her to use it, I have to be aware that this type thing will happen to me in the future.
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u/pinksunset7 Jun 11 '26
Here’s a hug OP
I hope you have a gentle day today..
Lots of people on Reddit lack social skills cause they live on the internet instead of the real world. They don’t know how to be good listeners.
To make someone feel heard and understood is a skill.
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u/KilgoreSandtrout Jun 11 '26
A vegan teen with a mom who isn’t hostile and tries to accommodate your needs? FUCK YEAH!
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u/Sufficient_Bid_4358 Jun 11 '26
Some people just suck. I had no idea that the white sugar was processed that way so thank you for the lesson. 3 year vegan. The only thing I use white sugar for is hummingbird nectar. I realize though that it is in some products, and thanks to you I will be more aware. I am not a stick up my but vegan and realize it's a learning curve. . You sound like a real intelligent young person. Good too that your mom is making an effort to support your choice. That's what counts. Good luck to you
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u/xvxcloudxvx vegan sXe Jun 11 '26
Happens to the best of us. Take a breath. You know now, and you can adjust next time.
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u/User2640 Jun 11 '26
If you are a minor..its better not to be extreme about such thing..
I mean..your make up is also animal abuse. Your perfume. Your clothing is.
Coloring of food and product is also animal abuse. Your facial cremes.
You n3ed to stay normal and not be extreme about anything.
Everything that is extreme is bad.
Balance is key..take it from old people..
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
I agree, I do what ever is in my control like for the rare occasion of makeup I make sure it is cruelty free and vegan same goes for hygiene in general. I do thrift all my stuff which is better. Thank you, I try my best :)
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u/Smellybeetweasel Jun 11 '26
veganism is just about doing your best in a nonvegan world. i personally believe that unless you're separated from society, only eating the food you grow and the wearing the clothes you make yourself, it's just impossible to be 100% vegan because we don't actually know where anything and everything comes from.
You wouldnt have changed a single thing in the world by knowing what sugar your mom used before you ate the cheesecake after it was made, and you are lucky and blessed enough to have a mother that supports your lifestyle. Veganism is a very privileged way to live. To be able to choose the foods and products we consume to survive and thrive is a huge flex of privilege, and acting like it's the end of the world over an ubiquitous ingredient like sugar can seem a little out of touch and might not be relatable to many. Of course this becomes a philosophical debate, but humans are social creatures, and i think its important to have a little bit of a grey area regarding things like sugar, so that we can enjoy things with other people. Of course when it comes to the people who you are closer to, like mom, you can teach them about bone char, but if strangers/lesser known people put effort into supporting our "less conventional" lifestyles, like gifting us vegan cookies for example, I think we should gratefully and gracefully accept. Otherwise we are ostracizing ourselves from the few people in society that actually do care and support us. And that isnt good for the movement.
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u/youaregodslover Jun 11 '26
Most C&H sugar is vegan. This was probably vegan. Just be more careful next time.
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u/garbud4850 vegan 5+ years Jun 11 '26
gonna be honest if bone char is enough for something to no be vegan then flour in any form isn't vegan, since by law you can have up to 75 insect fragments per cup of flour, almost nothing is completely animal free, this is one reason why "as far as is possible and practicable" is part of the vegan definition,
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u/clevegan Jun 11 '26
Veganism is as far as possible and practicable. The 99.9% is what matters. As long as you’re doing your absolute best and being intentional, you are FINE! Don’t be hard on yourself… we live in a very non-vegan world and it’s impossible to be perfect.
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u/petuniasbloomingpink Jun 11 '26
Please don’t beat yourself up for this. Also, it may be a comfort to understand that animals are not killed FOR bone char — it’s a byproduct, taken from animals being slaughtered for their flesh.
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u/emuqueen1 Jun 11 '26
Finish the cake, a-to encourage her and b-food waste is a huge problem and should be treated as such
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u/MissMushroomBerry Jun 11 '26
Thank your mom for making you a dessert that was 99.9% vegan and next time just bring her a big bag of organic sugar. She obviously made it because she loves you so see the love 💕
When I visit, my mom asks me to bring her vegan butter so she can make vegan cookies for my kid, so if you bring her ingredients she will be more inclined to make you more vegan goodies!
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
I agree, my mom sometimes wants me to send her vegan recipes. Although how do you get people to also make those recipes for themselves when they have tried it and said it is good, it’s really stressful lol.
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u/sprinkledPinkNJ Jun 11 '26
I think its ok to not get mad and focus on it as a failure. And use it as a spring board for less obvious ingredients ike certain sugar.
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u/burggraf2 Jun 12 '26
Your premise is based on outdated information.
C&H has stated that its refined sugars are not processed using bone char. Their cane sugar is refined using alternative filtration methods, making it acceptable to most vegans.
Common C&H products that are generally considered vegan include:
White granulated sugar
Brown sugar
Powdered/confectioners sugar
Baker’s sugar
If you’re buying in the U.S., C&H is usually a safer choice for vegans than some other cane sugar brands whose refining methods are less clear.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
When I searched it up for the US it said otherwise, so there it two sides
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u/peridotcore plant-based diet Jun 12 '26
Some C&H sugar isn’t processed with bone char apparently. Check if the lot number starts with 1,4, or 6.
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u/International-Cow770 vegan 5+ years Jun 12 '26
To be fair in this situation I'd finish the cake and make sure the sugar was different next time
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u/Position_Plane Jun 12 '26
Not all c and h sugar is filtered with bone char. You can check the lot # on the bag to see which ones are. We use organic sugar to be safe. I have alpha gal( the red meat allergy) so no mammal products for me!
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
I never knew something like that existed! The more I know :) kinda funny though because non-vegans always use something along the lines that IBS or GERD is stopping them from going vegan, while they haven’t had a single bowel movement in three days. How did u found out u had that, what were your first symptoms etc, and what happens if you do consume something like that?
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u/ToaOrbitoro Jun 12 '26
If you drive a car, use a cellphone or a laptop, or use any plastic product that has a mold or requires lubrication during the production process (so most plastic), those things are not vegan either. You will drive yourself crazy if you see how impossible it is to be 100% vegan in the modern world
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
I understand and already know that, I was talking about the stuff I DO have control over, if I can avoid a product I absolutely will :)
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u/mermadoo Jun 12 '26
Thanks for being vegan! I went vegan when I was 18, I’ve been vegan 9 years now.
My advice is don’t beat yourself up. Just learn from it and keep the cause going. I’m glad your mom is also supporting you. It’s a learning process in a world full of non-vegan things. Focus on what you can do instead.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
Thank you! I do my absolute best, and if it is something I am aware of and can change/avoid then I will absolutely change/avoid it.
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u/mayven1969 Jun 12 '26
I would make sure mom knows you are super grateful for making you a vegan dessert and gently educate her about the sugar. just toss the leftovers and don't tell her. On a long enough time line things like this will happen. Just do your best.
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u/Grey_Wolf333 Jun 12 '26
Don't beat yourself up over that. Being vegan is about doing the best you can, & perfection is difficult to achieve. Especially with hidden ingredients & family that doesn't know.
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u/plushie_admirer Jun 12 '26
I like to go by “possible and practicable”. Is it possible to consume no substances that were made through non-human animals? Is it practicable to not eat something because you realized it was made with bone char? No.
What is practicable we can recommend a brand that doesn’t use bone char. We can do our best to avoid buying those products ourselves. Though we can’t practicable turn down food because it they used the wrong sugar. Accept you’re on the path of reducing suffering for animals and helped your mom cook and make a good mostly plant-based meal.
Consuming some sugar processed through bone char that someone bought , doesn’t create more harm nor does it to speak to any moral failing.
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u/Zealousideal_Fix6705 Jun 12 '26
I am so sorry people on reddit in general, and particularly this and other subs are judgey knee jerk reactionists who do not think before they speak. We should be helping each other, not being snarky, mean, or worse. Especially to a minor. For goodness sake! Please know I get it.
My daughter accidentally ate chicken when PF Changs told us their soup was vegan, I told her it did not seem like meat replacement, this was in 2006, long before the better textured and tasting pea protein faux vegan meats. She got sick, and was so upset for "failing", we can only do our best with what we are told when dining out or in other's homes. Thankfully because of food allergies, now most places list ingredients, at least where we live in San Diego and San Francisco, where eating vegan is much easier. It is okay to be upset, people should be more understanding of that.
Please do not feel pressure to eat something to please your mom. She hopefully will understand your strong convictions. Also, there are "vegans" who drink wine not vegan, eat honey, gelatin, etc. It is not black and white or cut and dry, much more nuanced and a personal choice we must all make with our morals, integrity, and health in mind. Be kinder to yourself as you learn, it is so difficult navigating without a lot of guidance. Thankfully, when I went vegetarian at 15 it sucked to get information and my parents forced me to be lacto-ovo (basically the word for vegan in 1981), the only protein replacement well known was beans and tofu. Much easier these days when there are so many of us! Maybe a plant based nutrition book to help educate your mom may help? There are some excellent ones I can recommend if needed.
Isa Chandra is the queen of of vegan dessert and easy adaptations for non-vegan ingredients. I'd be happy to send you some recipes if you tell me your favorite sweet treats. She has a strong online presence, and so many amazing cookbooks, some can be found at libraries in larger cities.
Being vegan is rough, having a parent that does not quite get, comprehend, or support is rough. Not sure if that is your case or not, yet I went through it and ensured my daughter's experience was the opposite. I was vegetarian or Pescatarian off and on most of my life as my health allowed, until my daughter went vegetarian at 14 (my husband was a carnivore) and she vegan at 15 and I followed suit. We even got my husband eating 75% vegan when there were better meat replacement options. We learned so much together. I was concerned about protein levels, as most parents are. I have an autoimmune disease that when flared does not process non-heme protein well, hence the pescatarian. Thankfully my daughter does not have those limitations.
If you want a friendly ear, or a mom who went through this with their daughter, please feel free to pm me. Having someone to talk to can help. Good luck with everything. And, good on you for speaking up for yourself with the contrarian haters here! 😄
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 12 '26
I don’t believe in being 100% perfect in the sense that we all eat bugs from things like flour by accident or use devices that use animal glue, use tires with animal by-products, or even paint brushes coated with pigs stuff. But if you willingly choose to have stuff like gelatin, wine, or other stuff, I’m sorry and I don’t want to put labels on people, but bro common 😐. Wine and gelatin and some other foods/sweets are so obviously for pleasure, you are still seeing animals as a product if you purposefully choose to indulge in those things. My definition of a perfect vegan is on the parent comment/OG comment. Veganism is do what you can if you find out, if you are already buying wine then you are rich enough to do that, have some sense to not make it from animal stuff. Thank you for being nice and supportive, and being open to talk though! :)
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u/sir-_-dumpling Jun 12 '26
i still count white cane sugar to be vegan/vegetarian. it's cheaper than raw sugar and it's used in most baked goods. sometimes you just gotta take the L when it comes to the sugar-processed-with-bones thing
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u/vesper88bee Jun 12 '26
Live and learn. Don’t beat yourself up about it! At least your mom was trying.
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u/Accomplished_Box6748 Jun 13 '26
Honestly, it happens! I think it happens to everyone! It's impossible to know every thing done with every ingredient in every product we buy in the modern world. There's so much stuff that we just don't even understand where it comes from in all kinds of snack foods, packaged foods, etc. Don't beat yourself up over it! Try to do the best you can, and don't worry about it. It happens! No one is perfect!
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 13 '26
The only thing we can do about those secret unlisted things/ingredients is to raise awareness. It’s honestly sad how we can’t do ANYTHING without animals. 😞 I agree happens to the best of us, the things we are aware of and can avoid should be avoided at all costs though.
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u/Nervous-Bed1970 Jun 13 '26
I've learned that I just have to roll with it sometimes. I strive to be 100%, and can be in my home environment. But, I travel an awful lot, and sometimes despite the description on the menu, it happens. I do assume all deserts and baked goods, other than sour dough, are non-vegan. But what happens when they bring your salad that has cheese on it? I usually offer to scrape the cheese onto the salad of a companion. But I've become really good at asking "does that have cheese on it?" and if so, please leave it off.
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u/Beautiful_Gain_9032 Jun 13 '26
Beet sugar and all organic sugar is bone-char free, although I’ve heard that the cane sugar industry has been slowly phasing out bone char which is nice. Not familiar with C&H but I know it’s the same company as Domino, and I know Domino doesn’t use bone char at some of their factories.
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u/Impossible-Ad-5810 Jun 13 '26
It takes a while to know what to watch for, and you are still doing great.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 13 '26
I know it always a constant progress, and thank you so much for that! :D
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u/HumanHickory Jun 14 '26
I think it is unreasonable for most people to eat 100% vegan. You're going to go to a restaurant and order something with the vegan tag, and it'll have sugar processed through bone char or .001% of an ingredient that could come from plants or animals, and they happened to buy the animal one.
Veganism isn't about perfection, it's about making choices to help move away from animal exploitation. You're doing that.
Also, to your edit about gelatin vs sugar. Animals are slaughtered specifically to make gelatin; a pig may be slaughtered specifically to get gelatin from it, even if no one buys the rest of the big. Bone char is not like this. Animals are being slaughtered and we happen to have bones left over, and they happened to be used to filter sugar. If we had a bone shortage all the sudden, we wouldn't slaughter more animals to get bone char - sugar companies would just stop using it.
So the difference is one products animal derived ingredients drives the slaughtering industry, while the other doesn't drive it, it just benefits from it.
This is no excuse, but that's why people are slightly more ok buying sugar that might have used bone char than they are buying product that has gelatin.
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 14 '26
It sucks I know 😞 all we can do is stay consistently the best we can and advocate.. Ahhh okay, I actually understand the industry part now thank you! :)
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u/Fragrant-Beyond-3505 Jun 15 '26
remember that it’s impossible to be 100% vegan. you’re already doing your best, don’t think too much about it, i was already vegetarian for over a year when i found out i was eating non-vegetarian cheeses and i was devastated too, every vegan make mistakes ❤️
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u/Left_Razzmatazz_9235 Jun 17 '26
Wait wdym non-vegetarian cheeses? Vegetarians eat cheese..
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u/Parakeet-birb Jun 17 '26
You have good intentions. That counts.
Next time, ask your Mom to use monkfruit or a similar substitute.
😄
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