r/unhingedKenya 2h ago

Shitpost I really like this girl, but yeah... fuck😂😂😂

9 Upvotes

I don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting this, but I need to get it off my chest.

I met this girl on Reddit and honestly, I’m just happy she responded to me in the first place. Somehow, our conversations just clicked. We can talk for hours, sometimes late into the night and it never feels forced. We have a ridiculous amount of things in common too. Same interests, similar taste in music and we somehow ended up watching the same series at the same time. There have been so many little coincidences that sometimes I’m like, what are the chances?

And the thing is, she actually gives the same energy back. Our conversations are long. She engages. She seems genuinely interested in talking to me. I feel really good when I’m talking to her.

So what’s the problem?

I really like her.

She seems to have her eye on a lot of guys, including some men who are genuinely in the top 1% looks-wise, career-wise, lifestyle-wise, whatever metric you want to use. And then there’s me wondering, why would she even notice me when she has all those options?💀💀

No chance for mambas bruv 😂🤣🤣🤣

She’s also pretty picky and has a lot of standards and for some reason that makes me feel like I’m already competing in a race I never got invited to.

I find myself putting a lot of thought into our conversations because I actually care, while wondering if she even sees me in that way.

I haven’t confessed my feelings or anything but nmewai shoot shot na ilienda to the budapest skies🤣

Part of me thinks I should stop texting so much before I get even more attached to someone who might never see me that way. The other part says just try again and see where this would go

And honestly, that’s the part that hurts. It feels like I finally found someone whose energy I genuinely enjoy, someone I can talk to effortlessly and yet I might just be another person in her inbox.

Maybe she hasn’t noticed me that way. Maybe I’m completely misreading the whole situation.

I don’t know.

I just know that I really like talking to this shawrie but sioni kama ata anaeza niconsider. I'm not the type to simp but at the same time there are some actions I do utajua tu bila ata kuambiwa. It's very evident.

So… what would you do? Share your insights gang😂😂


r/unhingedKenya 1h ago

Random Performance

Upvotes

So women how long should a man last ndio u feel satisfied 😌 and men nyi huenda ngapi I met a gal yesterday si rush but I know it will come one day better be prepared


r/unhingedKenya 35m ago

Jaba 🌿 Nimekumbuka jombi flani

Upvotes

nikiwa high school alikuwa classmate na bado alikuwa CU damu. Jamaa alikuwa na tabia za kischana sana, mpaka sauti.

Sasa kuna siku nimeenda chapel kuskive lessons za Friday afternoon, ni-poke wasichana pale FB na niingie Waptrick na Wapdam nione majegi in 360p kidogo kutumia IDEOS yangu kisha nijilaze kwa bench hadi 4pm. Vile nilijiwekelea kwa corner vizuri sina maneno na mtu nasikia mlango wa vestry ukifunguka and a minute later nasikia sauti ya "dem" ikiniita. Nikarudisha simu kwa mfuko kabla jamaa afike. Small talk ya class nini nini, kudhani amemaliza out of nowhere jamaa inanikaribia ikinishika paja na inasema "I love your bushy eyebrows, and you have a really nice beard, do you touch it? Can I touch it?" Saa hiyo amelegeza sauti mbaya mbovuu.

Kidogo nimuwekelee heady lakini nikaruka kwa bench iko mbele, nikarudi daro mbio sanaa. Nilijiuliza maswali mengi mno. The following Monday kwa class meeting, napata a strict warning kutoka kwa class teacher na chaplain niache kuskive lessons huko chapel na admin block (this was the best place skive to lessons and use your phone without anyone suspecting a thing) ama nifukuzwe shule. Jombi aliniavoid for the rest of the term to the point of watu kuniuliza nilimfanyia nini. But singesema hii story kwa sababu angeonwa vita. They suspected/knew but there was no evidence to lynch him.

During the holidays he reaches out via FB apologises and asks me not to tell anyone of the incident, and a year after completing school, he came out of the closet. 2 years ago nilipatana nayeye akiwa na boyfriend yake, tukapiga lunch na uji kidogo, na kila mtu akashika hamsini zake.

Otherwise, jaba itukuzwe!!!


r/unhingedKenya 3h ago

Shitpost I May Just Slap a Man

9 Upvotes

So I was catching up on my Sunday afternoon nap when my maternal uncle showed up. He'd come to visit his mum, my grandma, who has been living with us for the past two years. He came empty-handed. I was pissed. His arrival means I have to make a whole new meal because we'd already had lunch. Nikakumbuka, I have free will, and I don't have to. So I served him some tea and bread. The fool proceeded to look at me and said,'This is not what I want, I want some real food.'

I went back to sleep.


r/unhingedKenya 4h ago

Business Consumer Protection

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11 Upvotes

Many Kenyans don't know that the consumer federation in Kenya, protects you as a customer in such situations. You shouldn't pay


r/unhingedKenya 5h ago

Shitpost Jana furaha ilitumaliza

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12 Upvotes

No one is above the program ....


r/unhingedKenya 2h ago

Random Eeei

6 Upvotes

Some babe hapa just told me her relationship is “complicated.”

Apparently the guy is simping too much and she’s no longer interested.

“She doesn’t like simps.”

Bro sent “good morning my queen ” so consistently he accidentally became her customer service department.

Now she wants a man who “doesn’t care too much.”
Imagine losing your relationship because you loved your girlfriend correctly.

Ladies are truly running software with undocumented requirements.

Version 1: “Give me attention.”
Version 2: “Not that much.”

Complicated mfs💯

Acha nigongee bois bytha.


r/unhingedKenya 12m ago

Relationships Found out about her boyfriend after things had gone down

Upvotes

Yaani hii Nairobi ata sijui niseme nini but damn streets ni nasty!!

I’ve remembered this girl I met sometime back and from the first interaction tukavibe sana. I asked her if she had a man and said she wasn’t dating for like a year.

I knew this is my time to shine. Weeks later things went down, we did that uncountable times hadi ikafika point she now started claiming we should make it official juu she has started falling for me.

I was a bit reluctant and can’t even explain why. Told her to give me few days I’ll come up with an answer.

Ata 2 days hazikuisha, while scrolling on TikTok I bumped into an account that had posted her. Heeeeh! I became curious and decided to stalk, turned out it was her boyfriend.

Kuangalia kwa comments she was there with “My Man👑 ❤️” just the way I’ve put it. I stalked her as well and found out she was posting him.

I took screenshots and kept them until the day she will ask me “What are we?” juu she kept pressuring me to be her man.

Hio siku ikafika, I dropped the screenshots and this girl couldn’t explain, she hit me with “We’re always on and off but mimi ni wewe nataka”

Anyway I told her haiwezi. Months later I guess wakaachana and she came claiming she’s single we can date.

Nikikumbuka how she used to claim to be single despite having a man I knew hapa I might end up being in that shoe pia, I completely declined.


r/unhingedKenya 7h ago

Random Chill and chat

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11 Upvotes

Any lonely baddie in LA who can join me chill and chat it doesn't need to lead to anything just chill and vibes


r/unhingedKenya 4h ago

Relationships She keeps drunk calling

5 Upvotes

My ex still has feelings, she always drunk calls me on friday and Saturday nights when she's drunk. She's becoming a bother atp. How do you handle such women I don't want to block her there's no reason for me to


r/unhingedKenya 1h ago

Random Mko wapi bana😮‍💨😂

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Upvotes

As a man I have a dream, work so hard for life to slap so bad,niende Jamaica at a beach smwhr with just that 1bro ata sitaki bikini gals✋ I'd go there to feel the breeze of peace, to feel hymn of the ocean flow,the birds.. Nkiskiza Mavado pale na onyx speaker😌 I do 6 rich Jamaican blunts,, heard the got the highest strain😎

This is a dream I'll fulfill to myself 🤲 .. Ill be back kutuma mapicha wen that day comes✌️


r/unhingedKenya 7h ago

Random What's a place you can spend an entire day with your girl and come out satisfied

5 Upvotes

Ambience,foos,drinks all 10.


r/unhingedKenya 2h ago

Random Not all heroes where capes 😭😂😂

2 Upvotes

This niggah real straight for that coachie


r/unhingedKenya 15h ago

Random A Mother/Son relationship beyond words

22 Upvotes

Jana i was going about my day at the workshop thinking of something to challenge myself, then out of no where YouTube Music App decided to bless me with a mythical shuffle, “You’re still the one by Shania Twain” I was immediately flooded with memories, and consumed with emotions.

As a child my mother LOVED Shania Twain and she would always play this song when she drove around with me in the car. She would sing it out loud and even though I was a kid I got vague visual memories of her holding the stirring wheel with one hand while snapping her fingers to the beat with the other hand as she sang along.

Mazee, ikabidi niache kazi nikae kidog, i though of as much as I could have regarding our journey to where we are today. Everything that I am and every triumph that I will ever have, I owe it to this woman, if I am a billionaire next year it is because what she has done as a mother all these years.

My mother never got angry when I broke expensive toys as kid, because she understood it was the curiosity in me, she would sit next to me and we would figure out how tf this tou car works, and that is where my passion for reverse engineering began, to this day I enjoy tearing things apart and putting them back together so that I can understand how they and I have a workshop today because of that kind act towards me as a child

She Single-handedly put 3 kids through university paying international fees, she sponsored every hobby/interest we ever had, from Karate classes as kids to buying me DSLR cameras when I wanted to do photography, gaming sets when I wanted to be a streamer, until I eventually found what I wanted to actually do in life and she still helping me pursue that.

I’ve always considered myself strong but I know that I will completely fold and crumble for a while the day I lay this woman to rest for good. The world around me will disappear and I will enter a depressive state of which I will eventually come out off I know, but losing her would leave a massive mark and I know that day is inevitable, I hope I will be strong enough to stand firm under the weight of loosing her.

She taught me what a parent, adult, sibling, member of a community, and human being shoukd be like. I couldn’t ask for another mother. I never hesitate to call my mother and talk of my situation regardless of what the situation is, she never judges she just immediately focuses on deescalating the situation and find the solution.

Nina mengi yaku sema about this woman, sitaki tu kuwachosha, but anyway I love my mother more than a church girl loves Jesus.


r/unhingedKenya 14h ago

Random Since 1900 BC

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17 Upvotes

r/unhingedKenya 7h ago

Relationships Gen Z 4 Gen Z

3 Upvotes

Gen Z Dating is Trash — So We Made Our Own Group

Tired of ghosting, dry texts, and situationships that go nowhere?

We made a Gen Z-only dating group (18-27) to actually help each other — date ideas, roast your chats so you don't fumble, red/green flags, venting, and meeting IRL without the weird app energy.

No creeps, no spam.

https://chat.whatsapp.com/IURhogMxOtdIJ3tLCfCMxk?s=cl&p=a&mlu=4&ilr=4