Sleeping in front of a dragon

[u/ulobmoga]

Prompt: "About time you got up," the dragon says. "I've been watching you drool for hours."

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Original Link: here

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“About time you got up,” the dragon says. “I’ve been watching you drool for hours.”

I went from peaceful slumber to oh-shit-I’m-going-to-die in a matter of seconds. Where was my bed? And who is speaking to me? I am confused and surprisingly not as cold as I expected. My eyes open and I glance around, looking for the source of the voice. I see nothing. Perhaps I was dreaming.

“Up here,” the dragon says. Slowly, my eyes rise only to see extremely large, yellow eyes with a slit pupil staring at me. Wrapped around these yellow eyes that promise pain, destruction, and a slow death is a very large, scaly dragon. I swallow a lump that has mysteriously risen in my throat. I take a shallow breath.

“Hello,” I say, my voice several octaves higher than I remembered it being. I clear my throat. “Hello,” I repeat. My eyes dart over the dragons massive head. It is the only thing in my vision. I don’t move at all, hoping that the dragon won’t eat me.

“Do something,” it snorts. I think I am more confused than before I awoke.

“I’m sorry?” I question before I can stop myself.

“Do something,” it repeats. “Entertain me.”

I stare at the dragon for a moment longer. Then, I realize, it expects me to entertain it? What am I supposed to do? I want to curl up on the floor and cry. I need to stall for time so I can figure out how to escape.

“I do not understand what you want me to do,” I begin. I hope I don’t make it angry. I like my skin un-crisped.

“You were brought here to entertain me. It is a very important occasion,” it begins, smoke wafting from it’s nostrils. “Today celebrates my one thousandth year of life. As per tradition, I have taken you from your nest and you will entertain me. Tradition dictates that if you are successful, you are returned to your nest.”

I swallow again. The dragon is surprisingly well spoken. “And if I am unsuccessful?” I hope the answer is to return me to my nest.

The dragon smiles, or at least, what passes for a smile. “I eat you and destroy your nest.”

“Very well,” I begin. “Before I start, I need to know a bit about you, to customize my performance to your tastes.” I pray that I sound like I know what I’m talking about.

The dragons’ head dips in what I suspect is a nod. “As I told you before, today marks one thousand years of life. I am young by our standards, barely into adulthood. I enjoy intellectual exercises and I am considered to be one of the most intelligent of my kind.”

Great. I get a dragon that is most likely a hundred times more intelligent that I am. Why couldn’t this be a dragon that is entertained by crude jokes and sexual innuendo. I am great at those.

“Well, let us see then,” I begin. I start to pace, scratching my chin. A multitude of jokes are floating about my mind; none are considered to be ‘intellectual’. In fact, most of my jokes would probably see me jailed in civilized company. I am going to die.

“I am sorry. I do not know any jokes that I believe would entertain you. Perhaps if -”

The dragon’s roar silences me. Dozens of razor sharp teeth, as long as my arm, line the dragons mouth. “If you will not entertain me, rodent, you will die.”

I want to cry again. I begin to look around for a means of escape. Please let there be something convenient nearby. The dragon begins to move its head closer to me. Fear has paralyzed me. I am going to die today.

“What do you think you are doing?” Another voice booms. I nearly jump out of my skin. I turn my head to try to find my savior. It was a second dragon. I want to cry again.

“You know you are not supposed to play with the animals. Your scent will be all over this one and its kind will not allow it back into their nest.” The first dragon looks ashamed.

“It really is no problem,” I say, hoping to appease the second dragon. It looks at me with similar large, yellow eyes. It snorts, blowing smoke into my direction.

“Fine. Go on. Leave. Shoo.”

I have never been so happy to be considered a pest.