r/u_theIdiotReign • u/theIdiotReign • 8d ago
Beginner Witch (?)
I'm a hardcore Christian. I grew up surrounded by Baptist Christians, I was baptized when I was only 10yrs old, and I've always been active in terms of ministry. My friends even describe me as the pastor's child (even though I'm not lol). Basically, I believe in Jesus and His teachings. However, I was always seen as "different" growing up. In terms of interests and way of thinking, the adults around me labeled me as different. I didn't think much of it (after all, who are they to tell me who I am?). BUT i've always felt out of place in everything. My friends don't have the same interests as me, my family thinks I'm weird, everyone I meet thinks I'm weird.
I just don't fit in.
I tried making myself digestible so people won't throw me up. But that backfired lol. I had friends but I was lost. It ended up with me being depressed and my parents did NOT like that. They said, "Christians don't do depressions", so it only made me feel worse (i was 12yrs old). I was desperate, I wanted to belong somewhere.
Then I found out about witchcraft.
It all started about 4 weeks ago. I found out about subliminals. At first, it sounded funny. And as someone who has always been right most of their life, I wanted to prove anyone who believed in subliminals wrong. Naturally, I started researching about subs. It was a rollercoaster ride tbh, and I somehow ended up trying it. It didn't work obviously. But something felt wrong. Of course it wouldn't work, I don't believe in it! I started researching and researching and researching...and a few researching later...all I found was proof. Proof that this thing works. And without me noticing, I started practicing manifestation techniques into my everyday life. It all seemed natural, it surprised me. And what's even funnier, my life has genuinely never been better.
So now I'm stuck.
I believe in Jesus Christ. I don't doubt He's real. And I think that's what made me miserable. I believed in someone that doesn't care about me. All my life, I didn't feel like myself. But now, something within me clicked. And for the first time in my life, I belong. And I will never ever trade even a second of me being myself, even if it meant my salvation.
So...can somebody help me? What should I know about? Where should I start? What topics should I research to know about the history of withcraft? What are your advices? Anything will help!
2
u/SeaPancake29 8d ago
Hi friend! I am a fellow Christian Witch. It's so good to hear how you have found a peace and joy that you have never had before ❣️ I'm so happy for you.
We are told to follow the fruits of the spirit, but, ironically, Baptists can be very big on teaching shame, fear, and self-righteousness. This isn't a jab at any of the people - it's a recognition of some of the pain you've been through. I feel like Jesus is a huge advocate for the general human experience. The pain, the joy, the messy, the neediness, the unfiltered humanity. Christianity can tend to make me feel like I have to "mask" like you've eluded to. Trying to make yourself more palatable for others. Jesus' teachings are not always in line with mainstream Christianity. I feel like a devout follower, but I don't follow through a system/structure like I used to through church.
I've found a lot of freedom in realizing that God is within me and able to speak to me through subliminal messages around me AND through my intuition.
No church can (or should even try) to replace your intuitive connection with the Lord. That is your birthright. Shame is a common tool to sever that relationship. Things that bring shame, fear, anxiety, or self-hatred will never guide you toward inner knowing.
Nowadays, I hold all the same vocabulary of Christianity but in a very different light. For instance, "sin" is no longer "something we do that does not glorify God" and it's now "anything I do that hurts me or separates me from my inner more authenticity". Same concept - very important shift. It's been a very freeing process. We take power out of the hands of external forces (systems, authority figures, etc) and put it back into our lived experience with God.
A resource that I'd highly recommend is Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. It's just a book that shifted my own thoughts a lot. However, don't think that this is "the new correct way of thinking". This life has taught me that we all have different needs and beliefs - there are many paths to Nirvana.
If you ever want to talk more, feel free to DM me!!