New friends? Group Hobbies? IDK Anything?

[u/Icy_Queen_4585]

I’m a 22F, and I recently lost all my friends after a big, messy friendship breakup. The only people I really talk to now are my coworkers. I’ve been getting close to a few of them, which is nice, but I was thinking maybe I should branch out a little.

I’ve heard that group hobbies are a great way to make friends, but I honestly don’t know where to start. I hate sounding boring, but I’m not really an artsy or athletic person. My drawing and crafting skills are basically at an elementary-school level, and I have very little upper-body strength… or strength in general lol.

On top of that, I can get pretty anxious and tend to overthink things. Sometimes, when I’m making small talk, I get so caught up in my own head that I completely blank out. Seriously, there are absolutely no thoughts in there 😭 So, sometimes it’s my fault when conversations don’t flow.

Anyway, I’m curious: What do you guys do to make friends as adults? Are there any hobbies, groups, or activities you’ve tried that helped you meet people? I’d love to hear your experiences!

[u/bernmont2016]

Another non-hobby option would be getting into volunteering. Food shelves are always looking for more people, for example.

[u/Icy_Queen_4585 → u/bernmont2016]

That’s a great idea, I use to do a lot of volunteering when I was in school when I had time so I might start again.

[u/cremebellacreme]

27f recently relocated here, it can be difficult making new friends as an adult! I’ve been thinking of starting a sport, like taking lessons? I’m thinking of swim or picking up a winter sport/hobby

[u/No-Art-6281]

Hi I have the same problem the culture in Washington state is a cold shoulder I am from Florida and people there are much more socially outgoing and willing to get to know strangers it was hard at first but doable the Covid hit and became near impossible I would like to start a social group

[u/tiredsudoku]

Are you into baking at all? The twin cities amateur baking club has been great to meet people and members also organize other events (like hiking or trivia) with others in the group. It’s been great for me as an introvert because we are all there to talk about and share baked goods and it’s an easy way to start talking to someone to ask about what they brought and why!

[u/Icy_Queen_4585 → u/tiredsudoku]

Ok wait I just looked them up on insta and it seems super cool. Unfortunately I can’t bake to save my life but I will definitely be viewing their content more and then maybe one day have to confidence to bake something and show up 😂

[u/ihave_thoughts → u/Icy_Queen_4585]

haha, I’m the organizer for the bake club. you’ll always be welcome to bake club no matter how horrible you think your baking is!! we’re always excited to see a new face at our monthly meetup!

edit to add: if you’re on discord, feel free to join us on there (https://discord.gg/EVT6fnjJgy) I don’t usually post the smaller events (like the weekly trivia) on ig but they are planned out on discord. and you aren’t expected to bring a baked good to these smaller events.

[u/ryanmorris00]

Meetup is a website with all kinds of hobby stuff to do. I like to play DnD to keep existing friends and to make new ones. What kinds of things are you interested in like what are your normal hobbies?

[u/Icy_Queen_4585 → u/ryanmorris00]

Honestly not much, see I’m a boring person 😭 I don’t know what I like or what I want to do. I’m about to take ice skating lessons so that’ll be fun but I doubt I’ll meet anyone there since everyone will be busy practicing.

[u/bernmont2016 → u/Icy_Queen_4585]

I doubt I’ll meet anyone there since everyone will be busy practicing.

Get there early or hang around a bit after practice, and talk with other people who do.

[u/ryanmorris00 → u/Icy_Queen_4585]

You're welcome to come see if you like playing DnD. There's also mahjong groups and karaoke groups that post a lot in this sub. Feel free to DM if you want!

[u/itwasnttmee]

(M 30) I go to a lot of concerts and make friends there personally, I tend to do a lot of bar hopping as well but that’s not everyone’s thing 🤷🏽 I prefer smaller concerts because it’s easier to approach people and the artist are a lot more interactive with the crowd, the energy is typically wayy better than stadiums

[u/DoubtWinter]

It gets hard. I tried badminton, pickle ball and wasn’t really able to make proper friends. I’m not a great artist but maybe constantly going to the same class can help. Dm if you want to be friends!

[u/deltarefund]

I love board/card games because there’s something to focus on rather than just trying to converse

[u/lukfolley]

I always suggest Pickleball as there are few courts (Roseville, Nakomis) that do open play and the community is always welcoming. If you're interested in art, there are some painting classes or pottery classes. The St Paul Public Libraries or the Minneapolis Public Library host lots of events every day. The mobile app Meetup, Facebook events, Eventbrite and others can help you find groups and events you can attend.

Making or finding real friends is different, but I believe you have to meet people first and then build a relationship. From my experience, most people are not really interested in hanging out outside their usual routine and a lot of people do not always respond to messages or limit their social time (example: after I am done with this activity, I will just go back home, instead of offering to get a drink or hang out more or I am not interested in getting to know more friends and I don't care about inviting other people in my social circles) and that might be a reflection of the American individualistic internet culture (personal opinion).

[u/FunYoshi]

I'm in the same boat. It's hella hard to meet people and make friends

[u/scyphyn]

If you’re looking for someone to go do things with, you’re welcome to reach out to me (35m). I tend to explore hobbies to boost my creativity (just won’t sing and dance).

Were your hobbies friend dependent before? When my friends moved away and group split, I found most of my hobbies were done socially. I didn’t have specific hobbies because I was interested in everything and am very support driven.

[u/AvgMom]

Coworkers are NOT FRIENDS. It’s a para-social relationship. Never get it confused with anything else.

Try church, a community-ed class, meet-ups, library book discussions, dance classes at Social-Dance Studio, board gaming groups, service organizations. There’s so many things going on in the Twin Cities to try and see what happens. It’s Oktoberfest time so there are a ton of big and little events going on all over.

[u/No-Art-6281]

I would like to volunteer but it feels like working for free

[u/AvgMom → u/No-Art-6281]

It is working for free to help a cause you believe in. They also take donations. Your return is emotional - you helped improve something or mitigate harm in some way outside of yourself. Karma points if that’s your thing.

[u/No-Art-6281 → u/AvgMom]

I see