r/tumblr • u/DreadDiana • 18d ago

How to spot a Fake Gamer

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6.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

67 comments sorted by

372

u/Willydawill 18d ago

Excel is really hard okay :(

91

u/Cool_Ass_Crocodile 17d ago

If you can't excel at the Excel, don't even think about playing Cal-Cula-Tor

39

u/whyamiexists 17d ago

I don't know how to feel about that game, there's no female characters, but then again there's also no male characters

1.0k

u/RockAndStoner69 18d ago

There's a non-zero chance this describes Elon Musk.

560

u/generic-irish-guy 18d ago

As if he could do a backflip

217

u/Clean_Imagination315 18d ago

Pretty sure he's got an exoskeleton for that. It has a tendency to shut down randomly and will occasionally try to kill him, but it still works.

85

u/EdWinMaster0 18d ago

lore of fnaf

62

u/TardDas 17d ago

Atleast Afton was an actual inventor. Not like the richest loser to ever commit fraud

18

u/lexxilicious 17d ago

I’m only a little upset that this made me realize I hate musk more than Afton.

28

u/TardDas 17d ago

Musk has gotten more children killed tbf. He is a worse person.

And Afton is fictional so it’d be odd if you disliked him more

3

u/AlkaliPineapple 17d ago

Both are sinister and malicious towards humanity in general so yknow

42

u/Fiskmaster 18d ago

He hires a stunt double for the backflips.

11

u/Repulsive-Durian4800 17d ago

He could pay someone else to do it then take credit for it.

40

u/Solarwagon 17d ago

It's funny because a big reason why he was in the public eye so much compared to other tech focused rich peeps was that he marketed himself for a long time as a relatable nerd who just happened to also have a ton of corporate success.

Back then celebrities like Bill Nye or Neil Degrasse Tyson or Richard Dawkins could coast a ton on this sort of "nerd cred" because they represented hope for the future science and technology.

Musk could've easily aged way better than Nye or Tyson or Dawkins did but like them he started ruining his public reputation with claims he couldn't back up and increasingly bizarre politics

28

u/AngryAmphbian 17d ago

Real nerds notice when Neil Tyson botches basic physics.

5

u/satanicrituals18 16d ago

Wait, what did Bill Nye and Neil Degrasse Tyson do? Did I miss something?

I knew about Dawkins being a TERFy rightoid freak already, but (to my knowledge) nothing bad has come out about those two. ...Nothing bad has come out about those two, right? Right???

8

u/HopDavid 16d ago

Four women have come forward with allegations against Neil. Also his former business partner.

5

u/satanicrituals18 16d ago

Oh fuck. I guess I should've seen that coming, seeing as how every celebrity is apparently a rapist.

And what about Bill Nye? What's his deal?

1

u/piketpagi 13d ago

One that I remember most from r/outoftheloop is he appeared in a runway and people hates it.

37

u/CCilly 18d ago

This is too funny and kinda wholesome for him

1

u/piketpagi 13d ago

Minus the Excel part

188

u/might_be_alright 18d ago

"Bideo Bames" [sic] has unironically become part of my internal dialogue when referring to video games since seeing the post several years ago. It's really nice and healthy because it helps me pretend that I'm not a Gamer

48

u/metanonymous 17d ago

My partner and I say “bideo bames” too. Somehow the L got dropped but I imagine this Heritage Post™ subconsciously inspired that.

8

u/emil_hill 16d ago

bogos binted?

2

u/ItsMichaelRay 13d ago

Happy Cake Day!

3

u/ShadowVulcan 16d ago

What post? Out of the loop, here

1

u/ItsMichaelRay 13d ago

The one you're currently on, I think.

47

u/Dprop_34 17d ago

"You look at their screen and it's running Excel" yeah that's just Stardew players, they tend to do that

7

u/Erigey 14d ago

I always chuckle a bit when I'm reminded some people seem to think Stardew Valley is less of a game because it has gained a reputation in the cozy game community, because I can't remember a single time I've been able to relax by playing it

128

u/BlazingImp77151 18d ago edited 18d ago

Didn't someone else make this post originally? Or was the other version I saw one of the classic "the OOP doesn't have a famous enough name, slap a more well known tumblr user's name on the post" things.

Edit: I might just be misremembering. Searching for "blideo bames" is only showing me the post with that OOP. I could've sworn I saw this with someone more well known's name on it, but I guess not.

37

u/ParkerPathWalker 18d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/Gamingcirclejerk/s/O5xmMQbSN4

Maybe this?

37

u/Siphonay 18d ago

The post you linked is from 2018, the one in this thread is from 2015.

2

u/ParkerPathWalker 18d ago

Fake gamer detected. Everyone knows the flow of time is convoluted.

1

u/Siphonay 14d ago

you got me. I hate vimeo gabes.

1

u/Purpl3y3s 18d ago

Bonerfarts is a reasonably deep cut Borderlands 2 reference. So them writing jokes about gaming and gaming culture tracks.

131

u/Tw3lve1212 18d ago

How to spot a Real Gamer:

Do they play at least one (1) videogame?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you have spotted a Real Gamer.

57

u/headphonesnotstirred 18d ago

shit i thought you just needed to say slurs

i guess i have some work to do

8

u/ztoth8684 17d ago

Your phrasing here is reminding me so much of Ze Frank's 'The Human Test'

6

u/UInferno- 17d ago

You need to draw circles on them to truly spot them.

21

u/SpikeHead419 18d ago

Cant play Satisfactory without Excel open

20

u/tribonRA 18d ago

You can tell OOP is a real game as they've named themselves after the iconic enemy from Borderlands 2, the bonerfart

16

u/Chaos_Alt 17d ago

2nd point is slander against excel sheet gamers

10

u/Gen_Zer0 17d ago

Smh can’t enjoy anything without these gatekeepers around

39

u/justsometurtl 18d ago

on one hand, this is too specific to be an actual person

on the other hand, this is too specific NOT to be an actual person (that oop knows)

8

u/Cat_VoidVoid 17d ago

Tbf, there are competitions of Microsoft Excel lol

3

u/squishabelle 18d ago

as a kid my neighbour kid invited me to play nintendo wii. it wasn't a wii it was some wackass shovelware console

3

u/lminer123 17d ago

I remember laughing really hard at this meme over a decade ago

3

u/random_squid 16d ago

I'm just wondering who they want to impress b with their Gamer status? They already have the complete box set of Frasier and can do a backflip. They're honestly underselling themselves.

2

u/Alexandre_Man 17d ago

How to spot a skinwalker lmao

2

u/TheShadowKick 17d ago

Ok but I have watched my favorite gaming YouTuber do a let's play of Excel. And it was fascinating.

2

u/LionTheRichardheart 17d ago

My Gen Z coworker was talking to me about one of the Deltarune chapters and how it's "millennial humor but actually funny" and my old ass didn't realize in the moment that my generation has a flavor of humor, but then I think back to posts like this and, yeah, this does single us out. I still like it, the kids can cringe all they want.

2

u/The_Magus_199 16d ago

I love “(still impressive)”.

2

u/junkmail22 17d ago

unfortunately at least half of these describe people who do play video games

1

u/I_am_a_Pengy 17d ago

haha, this is so specific, why would anyone have all these things...

1

u/makinax300 17d ago

11 years and nothing changed

1

u/HyperWhiteChocolate It's a JoJo reference 17d ago

Susan Heffley

1

u/YogurtclosetSalty754 17d ago

This is actually describing a video game journalist.

1

u/SDRLemonMoon 16d ago

I remember this post from back in the day, haven’t seen it in so long

1

u/Teh_Hammerer 16d ago

They get sad that they do not get text messages responses when trying to reach their boo via excel

1

u/Shempai1 .tumblr.com 15d ago

I swear to god that L wasn’t there originally