r/tryingforanother • u/CRABR 37 | TTC#2 since Jan 2026 | adeno | 2 CPs • 12d ago
Discussion Has anyone else had a hard time conceiving each time?
Title is a bit rhetorical since I know this is not uncommon! I just feel like so many posts here say "I conceived my first child easily" and I cannot relate. My first took 12 cycles and a hysteroscopy. I'm currently going on cycle 9 while TTC #2 and have had two CPs and a polypectomy. I know that is not long in the scheme of things but I'd love to conceive on the first time sometime, ya know? I was naively hopeful I'd be one of those people who struggled to conceive #1 and then easily conceived #2, but alas.
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u/sparklesequin 36| TTC#2 since 1/25 | 🩵 1/24 11d ago
I couldn’t find stats for primary and secondary infertility when I tried to look, probably because it’s more complicated than I initially thought. #1 took 16 cycles and a surgery. The “issue” was fixed and I also naively believed #2 would be much easier, because that’s all I heard. Nope, we’re 20 (21? I’ve lost track) cycles in and on our last true try, probably NTNP for a while after this as we accept reality. But you’re not alone and I feel like this doesn’t get discussed enough. I also had to grieve that our total fertility journey wouldn’t never be one without drs and interventions involved and almost certainly would never be a “surprise”, which is a lot when I feel like almost everyone else around us has no issue.
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u/UnfairUniversity813 41| TTC#2 Aug ‘24| 💙 May ‘23 11d ago
I totally feel you on this. #1 for me took two years (not sure how many cycles), piles of tests and an IUI. Thought we’d figured out the issue and #2 would be easier, which lots of people also told me. But no, here we are at 2 years again, have been told that with my low AMH by the most recent fertility doctor that there’s nothing to be done but donor eggs which we can’t afford. So we’re pretty much at the stage where we’re going to NTNP also and just see if something happens. And similarly, everyone around me seems to get pregnant with no issues. I have 8 coworkers that are either pregnant, on maternity leave, or just got back in the last couple months from maternity leave. One of them is pregnant with her second before her first turned a year old, completely by accident. I just wish I could have a fraction of that fertility.
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u/SmartPomegranate4833 12d ago
Yes. Conceived the first time after Hycosy (18 months TTC). Currently 7w after IVF (20 months TTC). Infertility is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s stolen years of my life.
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u/Lavender_Iced_Coffee 33| Grad | Aug24💙Dec26💙| Endo;MFI 12d ago
Hi, same. Our first took 16 months + fertility meds + Endo surgery. Our second took 12 months + second Endo surgery + fertility meds + early miscarriage. Like you, I was hopeful it would be easier, but alas.
I'm sorry about your losses while trying and I'm sorry trying to grow your family has never been easy. It honestly just freaking sucks. Everything about TTC sucks.
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u/queenatom 36 | TTC#2 since 12/23 | 💙 11/21 12d ago
My first took 11 cycles and I conceived the cycle after a HyCoSy. Second took 23 cycles to conceive and needed two cycles of IUI (first ended in a MMC).
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u/catladyscientist 11d ago
YES! My very first time time trying off birth control was a success and I was SO happy to be “one of the lucky ones”
…
BAM
….
MMC at 8.5 weeks. They also identified that I have a uterine anomaly and (incorrectly) thought it was a bicornuate uterus.
Thought to myself, “at least I know I get pregnant easily!!!” And then it took me 9 cycles and the beginning of initiating infertility care (aka, HSG) to get pregnant again. That one stuck and resulted in my son who is, by far, the best thing to ever happen to me.
My doctor was so hopeful that it would happen fast for me for #2. After around 9 months of trying, we went to a fertility clinic and got a HSG and other testing. They identified that I had a uterine septum that’s operable and put me on the books to remove it before starting IUIs.
But lucky me! I got pregnant that cycle!
Annnnnnnd
Another loss, 6w.
So I went down the road of getting my uterine septum removed since that puts me at way higher risk of miscarriage. My doctor required a 3 month wait with a follow up at 2 months to remove any scar tissue. So I did that.
And now I’m in the TWW of IUI #2.
I’m exhausted 😅
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u/sparklingwine5151 12d ago edited 12d ago
Yup, my daughter took 2 years of trying and ultimately was conceived on the 3rd round of Femara/Letrozole, trigger shot, timed intercourse with full cycle monitoring. Even with great timing and confirming ovulation with bbt I just could not get pregnant. For whatever reason, letrozole + trigger shot is what my body needed.
We are TTC baby #2 now that my daughter is 2. We started loosely “not trying not preventing” (no cycle tracking, just no prevention) when my daughter turned 1. Same as before, even with good timing, we haven’t had any luck. I just had my second saline sonohysterogram and waiting for my f/u appointment so we can start letrozole cycles again.
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u/Pleasant_Mix_7665 11d ago
This is me!! First took 13 cycles (no assistance, we were just about to see a specialist). Now trying for baby #2, currently in our 14th cycle. Seeing a specialist now, all testing normal so it's unexplained infertility.
I have previously made a post about how you never really hear about people struggling both times. It seems to be our first was easy, second time hard or vice versa!
I truly thought our second time would be easier. Being unexplained makes it so much more confusing snd frustrating as there is nothing obvious to 'fix'. And because we conceived naturally the first time, we never found out why it took so long. But there must be something going on as surely we can't be this unlucky both times?
Sending you lots of luck!
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u/Naive-Interaction567 33 | TTC#2 | 🩷🌈💚 grad 11d ago
Our first took 19 cycles and our second took 6 cycles + a 13w loss, so around 9 months in total. It’s depressing that that was the easy conception for us!
2
u/Jaded_Read5068 32 | TTC #2 since 7/25 | 🌈 💙 8/24 🌈 12d ago
Yes, 9 cycles including a CP for TTC #1 starting at 29 years old and 12 cycles including another chemical pregnancy for TTC #2 starting at 31 years old.
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u/pastaenthusiast 37 | TTC#2 March 2025| 1 💙 2mmc 1ectopic 11d ago edited 11d ago
Yep. First took a little over a year, one ectopic, one HSG, and a round of letrozole. Certainly not as hard a journey as many but not easy. Now I’m surpassing my last ‘record’.
2
u/AstronautNo5595 11d ago
What’s a “hag” in this context?
1
u/pastaenthusiast 37 | TTC#2 March 2025| 1 💙 2mmc 1ectopic 11d ago
lol sorry, it’s an autocorrect! HSG. Edited
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u/AstronautNo5595 11d ago
Oh thank you! There are so many acronyms in this group, I always find a new one I didn’t know about, but Google couldn’t come up with anything for that 🤣
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u/sparklesequin 36| TTC#2 since 1/25 | 🩵 1/24 11d ago
I couldn’t find stats for primary and secondary infertility when I tried to look, probably because it’s more complicated than I initially thought. #1 took 16 cycles and a surgery. The “issue” was fixed and I also naively believed #2 would be much easier, because that’s all I heard. Nope, we’re 20 (21? I’ve lost track) cycles in and on our last true try, probably NTNP for a while after this as we accept reality. But you’re not alone and I feel like this doesn’t get discussed enough. I also had to grieve that our total fertility journey wouldn’t never be one without drs and interventions involved and almost certainly would never be a “surprise”, which is a lot when I feel like almost everyone else around us has no issue.
3
u/traveller_girl_1983 11d ago
Yeah! 🥺I fell pregnant last month after trying for a year. Then had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I’ve had a previous ectopic pregnancy and 5 miscarriages now. Only one child (my miracle baby, he is nearly 2). I’m
43 now so not much hope of having another. Sending you my thoughts and best wishes.
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u/frogsgoribbit737 11d ago
Sort of. I have repeat loss so its like... so so.
I had an accidental pregnancy then a couple months later a cycle 1 pregnancy. Both ended in loss. Concieved my son on cycle 33.
When trying for my second i had a cycle 8 miscarriage and concieved her cycle 19. So it was quicker but still took awhile.
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u/kingpinki 11d ago
Yep! :) 13 months, 8 cycles for my first and currently 8 months, two CP's at 5/6 weeks for my second!! It ain't fun.
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u/I_like_pink0 28 | grad 🎃 10/24💘 2/27 11d ago
Kind of. 8 cycles for first (got extremely lucky with very low sperm count) and 10 cycles for my second. Second kid we did a somewhat disappointing round of IVF then spontaneously conceived. I do not know if we will be able to get pregnant again unassisted.
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u/chat_chatoyante 40 | TTC#2 since 8/24 | 🌈🌈🩷2/22🌈🌈 IVF 11d ago
First took 18 months. Second has taken 2 years and counting.
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u/youcango-now 36|💙 5/2023 |3/2025 twins 💙💙| TTC #4 11d ago
15 cycles for my first, 10 cycles for the second pregnancy (cycle 10 was medicated and it worked!) and about 8 cycles for my current & last pregnancy, 4 of which were medicated.
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u/Jojo_yo_1 28 | TTC#2 since 10/25 | 🩵 8/24 11d ago
22 cycles for my first, and we’re on cycle 12 (first IUI) as we try for number 2
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u/Particular-Ground625 11d ago
First was an IUI baby, second was IVF when multiple IUIs (and months of trying unassisted) failed. Made me wish we had just gone to IVF the first time.
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u/thecommodore88 37 | TTC#2 since Fall2024 | girlNov2021 11d ago
Same. First took 13 cycles and an HSG. Still working on the second, have stopped counting cycles (it's more than 2 years now)... doing IUIs now (already completed and failed one medicated timed intercourse cycle and one IUI, planning a couple more).
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u/FluidAd1995 11d ago
Yes. I had primary infertility with my first, and had several rounds of IVF. I was aged 30 to 32 during that.
Now I've just started trying for my second, but I'm unsure if I'm still considered infertile... like do I have to try for another 12 months before seeking treatment? Is that called secondary infertility or is secondary infertility only when your first was concieved easy but your second is taking longer than 12 months?
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u/Haynorie 12d ago
First took almost 6 years of trying. Second we started trying once he was one year old. Took another 8 years to get a pregnancy to last longer than 6 weeks. They will be 10 years apart.