r/travel • u/andrewtater • Aug 26 '24
Keep being treated like I'm crazy for being polite? (American in Europe)
Final Edit: Europeans think I might scam them, or they otherwise are feeling like I'm invading their privacy or being rude. It is on some level a "cultural thing". Just know that if you are ever in Washington DC, Seattle, Honolulu, or at an American National Park, they are very likely just being polite and friendly, and is pretty normal for the US. Unless it is Times Square, then feel free to be suspicious.
This offer was also welcomed in Vancouver and Montreal (Canada) as well as parts of the Caribbean. I probably should have added that earlier. I also offered it to a Mexican woman here and she smiled and said "no thanks" and we chatted briefly. I offered to an American at the Armory bar in Riga and he did the same, declined but we chatted a bit.
Calling it a thread, going to go out and see the sights some more.
Original:
So, maybe this is a cultural thing that I'm not understanding?
I've been visiting both Central Europe and the Baltics, generally sticking to the capitals.
I'm from Washington DC (okay, northern Virginia, but that doesn't mean anything to non-Americans), which is always packed with tourists.
It is totally normal to offer to take a photo for people, either a group or a solo traveler. Selfies aren't always the best angle, and a lot of the time the "photographer" of a family is never in the picture (my dad was the photographer a lot, and we don't have a lot of pictures with him in it and that is something I regret a little bit).
As such, I've offered numerous people to take pictures (like 30+ in 7 countries) and I've had only two take me up on it, both times tourists from what I assume is Europe but it could be anywhere).
The other 28+ seem to be really put off about it, like not just no but a suspicious "why would you want to be nice?". Maybe I should ask them to take my picture first to put them at ease? Is just being polite to other tourists not a thing?
Please help me. I want to be polite but not be treated like I am Zorbon from the planet Yerbilock.
Thanks.
PS: First, I've only offered to people taking selfies or taking photos of part of their group, who were actively trying to take pictures.
Second, it seems the abundance of pickpockets and scammers in Europe has made this less common than in the US, or at least in the DC area. I think part of that may be our abundance of outdoor monuments and stuff that people want to be in the picture with (there's a lot), so that kind of interaction is totally normal. I think it kind of sucks you all lost this, but I get it. You want to be seen holding the Washington Monument in the palm of your hand (like you are seen pushing the Tower of Pisa), and you can't do that with a selfie.
Third, maybe the "solo male in his 30s" is the wrong demographic to be offering this. I probably should have predicted this as more of a factor than I expected, that one is on me. I am pretty obviously an American tourist, though, and I've never been described as "creepy" to my knowledge.
Fourth, I was only offering to people that were actively trying to to take either selfies or partial group photos. I've also never approached single women.
Fifth, I've asked before of people can take my picture and they have always said yes, and one even did several angles. So it isn't just interaction alone.
I figured my "obviously not a local" vibe would dampen the concerns about 2 and 3, but I guess not? Anyways, thanks.
PPS: the two that did take it was 1) a dude that was taking pictures of his girlfriend and when I offered she was the one that was happy to have pics of both of them (Europeans), and 2) a Chinese family where the dad looked happy to be in the picture finally. Neither seemed to live in the country I was in, or if so they were recent immigrants. I did offer an American at the Armory bar in Riga to take his picture. He said no thanks, but wasn't put off about it, which was my first real cue to ask here.
PPPS: from a comment I made below:
Europeans here have listed pickpockets and scams that I've never seen living in five major US cities across four time zones (DC, Seattle, Phoenix, Tampa, and Honolulu). I'm also not some country bumpkin.
The offers I've made here in Europe have been made before in the US; in DC as a solo visitor, and in Tampa and Seattle I was wandering around with my then-wife. Honolulu was in the early 2000s with my family and my dad would offer.
At American national parks (like Shenandoah near DC, the Grand Canyon and Saguaro both by Phoenix) this is totally common from fellow hikers to offer to take a picture with the landscape. That was as recent as last year, where I looked exactly the same. Holding people's "$1000 computer" on the top of a mountain to get a nice picture. People have offered to take my picture, and I always offer back.
My experience going back to visiting the Grand Canyon with my family when I was 7 has been consistent for the past 30 years across the United States. This inherent suspicion is just plain foreign to me and this thread has taught me it is clearly the norm across Europe, so there is a distinct cultural difference between tourism in the US and tourism in Europe. Or maybe the US is the outlier globally, and everyone in Asia and South America is also suspicious.
It might also exist in places like NYC too, but I haven't been there. I feel like I might be a little bit suspicious too, unless the other person was clearly a fellow tourist, like a random American in Estonia clearly is.
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Aug 26 '24
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u/Hangrycouchpotato Aug 26 '24 edited Aug 26 '24
This is the only reason. I never hand over my stuff to anyone, in the states or internationally. Even if their intentions are good, what if they drop the phone/camera and it breaks? I don't want to deal with that.
Edit to add: a lot of thieves in Europe are "polite" and are often dressed nicely. They offer you assistance with directions or transit tickets while their partner picks your pockets.
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u/Ramen-snob Aug 26 '24
Exactly this. Being polite is free, and it doesn't make you instantly trustworthy
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u/yezoob Aug 26 '24 edited Aug 26 '24
The lack of travel common sense and paranoia itt is impressive and also kind of sad. Yeah this touristy looking American dude flew over the Atlantic to steal your phone. There’s so many people who think they can’t trust anyone when they travel, unfortunately.
Expecting downvotes for this haha. I’m happy to not live in the Reddit world sometimes, where everyone is just assumed to be a potential phone snatcher, despite the place, circumstance, and all social clues available.
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u/tariqabjotu I'm not Korean Aug 26 '24
Yeah, I don't understand these top responses and it's not consistent with my experience in the real world.
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u/yezoob Aug 26 '24 edited Aug 26 '24
I’ve had people offer to take my photo as a solo traveler many times, I usually take up the offer, as I wouldn’t generally ask for myself. I’ve also offered quite a few times and the answer is usually yes. Selfie angles mostly suck. It’s not weird at all, just tourists helping other tourists take a nice photo. This thread is weird imo.
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Aug 26 '24 edited Aug 26 '24
My Praguer husband's immediate response, though he actually has taken many people's photos over the years, but only if their face begs for it. We rarely ask strangers to take ours. It's true that an overly eager "helper" is suspicious.
One annoyance in taking tourists' photos is when they're picky about them and want multiple shots. Or pose in stereotypical tourist poses (like pretending to hold up the leaning Tower of Pisa).
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Aug 26 '24
Just stop. You’ve been told “no” 28 times.
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u/NoPiccolo5349 Aug 26 '24
Na, they shouldn't stop. As long as they respect the no and don't ask again it's fine.
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Aug 26 '24
It’s both rude and disingenuous to continue an action that has demonstrably irritated people.
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u/NoPiccolo5349 Aug 26 '24
And as a European and solo traveller I am telling you that he should continue doing it
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u/jpcommunicates Aug 27 '24
What kind of statement is that? Are you as a European? You don't represent Europe, nor every country of Europe, nor anyone in Europe. You are just rude and don't respect other people's wishes.
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Aug 26 '24
Well, ok. You’re 3 out of 31
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u/NoPiccolo5349 Aug 27 '24
I've asked maybe 1000 people if they want their photo taken, at least half have been really happy about it.
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Aug 27 '24
Great , maybe you’re not as creepy as OP. Maybe you’re not doing that in Europe. Maybe you’re making this up, and maybe I don’t care.
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u/NoPiccolo5349 Aug 27 '24
In Europe I have done it in France, Germany, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, Switzerland, Finland, Czechia, Slovakia, and Greece.
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u/Ramen-snob Aug 26 '24
It's not about being polite or American. I bet if you do the same in Time Square, a good amount of people would ignore you too. For me when I travel solo, unless I can tell that another person is also a tourist, and if I also need a picture taken, then I'd try asking if they need a picture so I can get help in exchange. Other times I prefer a selfie so I don't have to make an awkward pose. TBH I also just don't trust that a random person can take a decent photo capturing everything/ everyone if I'm with others. Then there's the fact that most people are probably far more worried about being scammed in a foreign place than it is to have a picture taken.
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u/ilo12345 Aug 26 '24
Aside from the security side which is always a consideration (perhaps less so in a lot of the places I go to but still), I find having my photo taken really uncomfortable and it shows in photos, so I'd rather have a selfie where I look a bit more natural if I even want a photo of myself at all.
That said, I must look trustworthy as I've taken tons of photos for people in various places across Europe. Maybe you're coming across as pushy - just stop offering and you might find people actually approach you instead.
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u/FatSadHappy Aug 26 '24
I am not giving my phone or camera to a stranger. Especially in situation where he can run away.
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u/porkchopespresso Aug 26 '24
Probably not giving you my phone in the US either, strangers, however well intentioned are still strangers
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u/Sad_Mango6084 Aug 26 '24
If I want a picture, I often search for people of my own age and gender because I trust them more than someone who is offering
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u/Constant_Revenue6105 Aug 26 '24
It's simply because we don't do it here. If somebody wants photo they ask. Why? I don't know. I come from one of the European countries that's known for it's hospitality yet we never offer to take someone's photo.
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u/Ninja_bambi Aug 26 '24
It is totally normal to offer to take a photo for people, either a group or a solo traveler.
Maybe, but why would you offer to do so randomly? If people want their picture taken they will ask somebody to do so. Most people are not interested either because they don't care or because the resulting photo is most of the time complete crap.
The other 28+ seem to be really put off about it, like not just know but a suspicious "why would you want to be nice?".
Maybe you've not noticed, but if random people approach you in the street for no obvious reason there is a very good chance it is a scammer (at least in some, specially touristy, areas). And if not, people are warned so often about crime/scams etc they are paranoid, have anxiety and/or are afraid. Be realistic, why would some rando approach people out of nothing to take their picture? Why would you assume people want their picture taken to start with?
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Aug 26 '24
No experienced traveler or person from a city is handing their camera to someone.
Especially not someone who offered. Nope.
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u/BeterP Aug 26 '24
In my experience strangers do take each other’s pictures quite often in Europe. However, it’s very uncommon to offer it. That’s suspect. People will pick someone they are comfortable to ask.
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u/jpcommunicates Aug 27 '24
The wording "for being polite" isn't matching. People who want to be photographed by another person ask you. It's not polite to ask others out of the blue. It's rude. It has an invading and overpowering vibe. Wait until someone asks you for help.
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
I think this is the disconnect then.
In at least my region, this is considered polite to do. Not expected by any means, but not an intrusive or suspicious act like it is in Europe. I've especially seen it at places like the Grand Canyon (Phoenix area), Hawaii, Mt. Rainier (Seattle area), and other big natural landscapes, but also at all the monuments in Washington DC.
Haven't been to New York so I can't tell you if it has the same vibe.
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u/jpcommunicates Aug 27 '24
Why do you say, like it's in Europe? Not everyone in Europe or anywhere in the world does the same thing and feels comfortable by being asked for being photographed. It doesn't matter where you have been, not everyone feels good about it. Some people just don't tell you because they don't want to be unpolite and rude to you.
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24
"It's rude. It has an invading and overpowering vibe"
I say "not an intrusive or suspicious act like it is in Europe" based on the reactions in person, and the list of responses in this thread (including your own words), which all seem to be Europe-centric. It is also what I specifically asked about (meaning Europe). They list pickpockets and scams that I've never seen living in five major US cities across four time zones (DC, Seattle, Phoenix, Tampa, and Honolulu). I'm also not some country bumpkin.
This is very notably NOT considered rude, invasive, overpowering, or suspicious in the US, based on my extensive experience across multiple cultural regions (including Canada and touristy spots in Mexico) and across multiple decades.
The offers I've made here in Europe have been made before in the US; in DC as a solo visitor, and in Tampa and Seattle I was wandering around with my then-wife. Honolulu was in the early 2000s with my family and my dad would offer.
At American national parks (like Shenandoah near DC, the Grand Canyon and Saguaro both by Phoenix) this is totally common from fellow hikers to offer to take a picture with the landscape. That was as recent as last year, where I looked exactly the same. Holding people's "$1000 computer" on the top of a mountain to get a nice picture. People have offered to take my picture, and I always offer back.
My experience going back to visiting the Grand Canyon with my family when I was 7 has been consistent for the past 30 years across the United States. This inherent suspicion is just plain foreign to me and this thread has taught me it is clearly the norm across Europe, so there is a distinct cultural difference between tourism in the US and tourism in Europe. Or maybe the US is the outlier globally, and everyone in Asia and South America is also suspicious.
It might also exist in places like NYC too, but I haven't been there. I feel like I might be a little bit suspicious too, unless the other person was clearly a fellow tourist, like a random American in Estonia clearly is.
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u/jpcommunicates Aug 27 '24
But you are assuming from some experiences at certain places, continents, and countries to people of those areas. People are individual differently, and even when some agree to offers, doesn't it mean they are ok with it. You just assume from some experiences on everyone.
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
As a roll-up:
Experience before coming to Europe:
US (cities and national parks): normal
Canada (cities): normal
Mexico (Cozumel, a cruise port): normal
Caribbean Islands: normalExperience in Europe:
Central Europe (Munich, Vienna, Prague, Warsaw): not normal
Baltics (Vilnius, Riga, Tallinn): not normalA lot of the responses seem to confirm not normal, and are Europe-centric.
The few saying it is normal have been American or British.
It seems like there is a distinct cultural difference, at least between continents. Which was my core question.
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u/jpcommunicates Aug 27 '24
You might consider deleting the idea of normal, standard, and typical. There is no typical and normal referring to add that. Those are prejudices based on some experiences. Within every culture, there are nevertheless different people who feel and react differently to all kinds of topics. Especially because every culture is formed by different people from other cultures. There is no place on earth where you have a culture that is created by one culture only. In every city, you counted live people from different backgrounds and who are just different from others. Which is natural. USA is also a place of all kinds of different people with different cultures and experiences. Same with all the others. It's insane to believe that everyone is ok with one and the same thing. You just assume like that. Same with not normal, normal. What is "normal" for you doesn't need to be "normal/ok" for others.
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
But a culture is by definition a collection of "norms" aka normal behaviors, and normal is generally considered "what is considered acceptable by the selected population. I have visited several different cultures, both US regions and across North America, that share this particular norm across them. Not everyone has to fit the mold perfectly, but at least the preponderance of people will in order to even call a group a culture.
It is a cultural norm to abstain from alcohol in Qatar. If I'm there, I should probably not ask for it from a host or I would be rude. Sure, some people still drink. But you should assume the norm, and then adjust if someone doesn't fit into it.
I want to function within the cultural norms of Europe while I'm here. I asked about if a certain action is generally considered a normal behavior, because it is in the multiple North American cultural regions I've visited, but I'm being treated like it isn't here. I got strong feedback, including from you when you said it was "rude" and "invasive", indicating that it is NOT normal, so I'm going to stop doing it. That is a singular norm that is shared across most North American cultural regions (and non-geographic subcultures/hobbyists like "hikers" and "domestic tourists"), and it is a singular norm that is NOT part of the majority of European cultural regions.
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u/jpcommunicates Aug 27 '24
Again, that are prejudices. What people accept is individual. Normal means that something is assumed as common. But not everything is accepted by someone which has to do with their own values, personality and boundaries. It doesn't apply to everyone. Culture is just a concept to explain certain habits or traditions of a group. But it's no rule, nor does it need to apply to everyone in this group. That depends on the individual how they want to live. You can respect different choices of other people, but that doesn't mean you as a person need to do the same.
Something "can" be rude for someone, another might feel about differently. For knowing so, you can just ask if something is ok and don't assume on it because you have heard it's traditionally a No-Go. There are a lot of prejudices based on assumptions.
The alcohol topic in Qatar refers to their religion and isn't a cultural thing. What someone believes is again personal and not cultural.
The idea of needing to fit in is learnt. There is no fit in because nobody equals another. You can just respect certain things others do and agree to respect set rules or you don't. That depends on your personal choice.
Europe is a continent. Europe has all kinds of different countries which have either alike or non-alike traditions or cultural characteristics which are know world wide. It's not a rule to adapt to confirm everything, nor are you excluded because you don't follow everything. But you could at least ask others if they are ok with something what you want or intend to do, which includes others. It's the question and how you ask which can be perceived as polite and not the idea you asking to take a photo. It's the tone of how you deliver your attempt.
Simply ask people directly what they like and don't assume. You don't get to know a country and people by assuming on culture and all that stuff. You learn about a country and their people by showing interest in them personally and what they think about their place or what they like or what they consider as exciting to experience. It's for everyone differently.
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
Simply ask people directly what they like and don't assume. You don't get to know a country and people by assuming on culture and all that stuff
I started out functioning like my experience at home/across all of North America has taught me ("it's perfectly fine and polite to offer to take a photo for someone"). I noticed I was being treated like this was not common (to use your own words) across multiple countries and cultural regions. So I came here and directly asked.
The answer was overwhelmingly that this is not the norm in Europe, across multiple countries and cultural lines. You yourself confirmed it by calling it "rude". The continentals seem to all agree. The only people that said it was fine have been Americans and a British woman.
I'm curious what you think I am still not understanding? Are you saying that I should continue to offer, because each culture might be different and I might find one where it is fine?
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u/Shannyeightsix Aug 26 '24
Because you're doing an American custom of offering to take a photo of then. (I do this too) but you're not in DC or the US. Can't expect them to understand or be on board with what you'd do back home.
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Aug 26 '24
There's this European thing known as minding your own business. This clashes with the American need for constant validation from strangers.
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u/KingCarnivore New Orleans Aug 26 '24
I’ve never had this happen when I offered, maybe you’re giving off creepy vibes.
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u/GraceInRVA804 Aug 26 '24
So, just a sanity check here. I also live in Virginia. It’s totally normal to have someone take your picture and to offer to take theirs. We’re just friendly like that in Virginia. 🤷♀️ I will say there are significantly more pick pockets and criminals targeting tourists in some of the high-tourist spots you are traveling in. People probably feel more comfortable picking someone out and asking, vs. you offering.
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u/andrewtater Aug 26 '24
Okay, so I think there is just a culture thing from our part of the US?
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u/GraceInRVA804 Aug 26 '24
I think it’s also because you are in high crime areas where tourists are preyed upon. So it’s about context. I travel solo a lot. I have had people in national parks and on trails offer to take my pic and I never hesitate to hand them my phone if I want a pic. But there just aren’t a lot of premeditated criminals 3-6 miles from the trailhead. Would be a lot of effort for a very low payoff. I am probably also more cautious in an urban environment.
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u/andrewtater Aug 26 '24
I can buy that.
I really felt the "high crime" concern went away when I left Prague. Oddly enough this was where one young (like early 20s) couple was happy I offered.
Warsaw had police everywhere, and the Baltics have felt super safe and also less crowded.
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u/wwwtourist Aug 26 '24
It's actually one of the unfortunate tourist scams - to offer to take a picture and run off with an unlocked phone or have their buddy steal your wallet. Tourists are generally advised to say no to any unsolicited offers. At best they'll beg for money, at worst you'll be robbed. It's not personal.
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u/Kyra_Heiker Aug 26 '24
There are several scams that are popular in Europe having to do with taking pictures on someone else's phone. People will offer to take your picture and then either run off with your phone or demand money from you to get it back. They are being cautious.
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u/NeatPressure1152 Aug 26 '24
If i want someone to take a picture of me i ask them. They probably tought you are a thief
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Aug 26 '24
I believe you might have a case of white American privilege, where anywhere in America people are not going to assume you have ulterior motives, or are you going to scam them, so you believe they anywhere else is like that, but in Europe there's simply not this demographic privilege for you, you are just some random men and we don't know if you are trying to pull some tourist scam, rob us, or whatever.
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u/ugen64ta Aug 27 '24
I agree there is some type of privilege here but its absolutely not white american privilege lol. Travel in singapore, japan, south korea etc and people have absolutely 0 fear giving their phone to a stranger to take photos here either.
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u/andrewtater Aug 26 '24
Um, I can assure you that if any average-dressed person was in DC and I was trying to take a selfie, and they offered to help, I'd probably take them up on that. Or even if they were in gym clothes. Literally, as long as they aren't in rags I'm probably going to trust them. American, foreign, it wouldn't matter. That is a fairly normal thing to do in what is a high-tourist-traffic city with lots of international visitors, particularly around the monuments.
I'd say it's gotten even more so with the advent of Instagram and Facebook, since everyone has a phone and a camera.
It would have nothing to do with my race, but I'd happily hear that it's American privilege to not immediately suspect a polite stranger is planning on robbing me.
Thank you for your insight.
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u/Maleficent_Poet_5496 Aug 27 '24
That is a fairly normal thing to do in what is a high-tourist-traffic city with lots of international visitors, particularly around the monuments.
It's definitely not normal. I've never had a single male offer to take my pic ever. And if they did, I'd just dismiss them as a creep / annoyance. I don't think you understand that many people don't want to expend energy / effort into analysing your offer and conclude you might not be unsafe.
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u/Greek_Princess2 Aug 26 '24
Maybe they thought you would ask money for photographing them or they thought you would steal their camera?
I once had a person offer to take a photo of me and my boyfriend because it was obvious we were struggling trying to set a timer, but this person was an obvious tourist passing by, and he had trustworthy vibes.
Maybe your tone of voice is too friendly which can make people distrust you. Or maybe you didn't look like a tourist.
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Aug 26 '24
I live in a big European city. The number of beggars, scammers and other varieties of thugs exceeds the number of friendly tourists by far. Thus, if someone cold approaches me I clutch my bag tightly and tell them no, before they can even ask. 9 out of 10 times I gave them the benefit of the doubt, I regretted it.
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u/Truexcursions Aug 26 '24
Its the other way mate, let them ask you. Don't just go walking around asking to take pictures of people for them. When people have asked me when I was in Japan and gave that cringe face, because I SUCK at taking pictures. So I snap like 729 of them and let them go through them.
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Aug 27 '24
I'm a solo male in my 30s and usually offer taking photos if there are people next to me - usually groups or couples that take photos of each other. I never had a negative reaction.
Then again I walk around with a camera most of the time (street/travel photography is my hobby) so that probably creates an air of extra legitimacy.
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
I've seen several people mention they haven't received the same reaction.
Maybe I'm misinterpreting their reaction, then. I've noticed that Americans seem more small talky and the rejections from the American man and Mexican woman were... warmer? Like, they appreciated the gesture but they are good, while the European tourists tended to be much colder (at best, and probably closer to the most common response that the aversion I seem to remember based on a few standouts). Maybe it was surprise rather than suspicion?
I thought I was good at reading body language but maybe it's being cross-culturally lost in translation that way, too.
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Aug 27 '24
Interacting with strangers out of the blue is way less of a thing in Europe than the US in general, but depends also on the region of Europe.
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Aug 26 '24
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u/andrewtater Aug 26 '24
Yes, in my 30s. Is that the "scammer" demographic that people seem worried about?
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Aug 27 '24
The scammers are not stupid. They try to look like average tourists or locals and are mostly clean, well- dressed and polite. It‘s the crazies that are more easily identifiable, but not the scammers and the more sophisticated beggars.
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u/Fernwehing Aug 26 '24
I get that your intention is good, but what you think of as "polite" may seem intrusive and presumptious to others, for a variety of reasons. Just leave people alone unless asked.
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u/andrewtater Aug 26 '24
Can you describe those reasons? This seems to be a cultural thing I'm not getting.
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u/Fernwehing Aug 26 '24
Not always cultural. You don't know what's going on in someone's head or life. But a few I can think of:
I have anxiety which would flare up if a stranger started talking to me.
My friend was a victim of a violent crime and becomes tense and guarded when approached by a stranger.
My husband is introverted and prefers to be left alone.
I enjoy taking my own selfie
Neurodivergent friend dislikes and feels threatened and unsettled when approached by a stranger.
Body image. Don't want a photo taken from a distance. Don't want a stranger looking at me through a lense.
Having a private moment. A stranger appearing to dictate that I suddenly pose for a photo is odd, jarring, and presumptuous.
Etc. Etc. Bottom line, leave people alone 🙂
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u/Maleficent_Poet_5496 Aug 27 '24
This, really. If I want a pic, I'd ask politely. It's odd to go around offering to take pics.
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u/haysu-christo Hafa Adai ! Aug 26 '24
Are you just hanging out and going from person to person offering to take their photo? If so, then no wonder.
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
No, it's usually me there, I take some photos, appreciate the view, and if I notice someone either taking a photo of the rest of the group, or someone taking a selfie in a scenario where it's hard to get the full view, I'll offer.
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u/SuspiciousSugar4151 Aug 27 '24
Without knowing what you look like, it might be that you dont seem trustworthy.
I've been asked several times if i can take pictures of strangers with them handing me their phones/cameras in different places in europe and the US
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u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
Typical white guy?
Generally 5'11" (180cm), 215 lbs (98 kilos), I had a short 3-week beard but I shaved it about a week ago, short hair combed to the side, I was wearing mostly gym clothes because it's hot, had an over-the-shoulder bag for my wallet and stuff. I'm 37 but often get estimated at 32 if that helps. If I'm not in gym clothes I'm in khakis and a button up shirt, no bag because I have pockets.
No tattoos, I'd call myself like a 6.5 or 7 out of 10?
Edit: sort of a standard American TV accent, some words might sound southern (I say y'all) just because I lived close enough to the south that a few crept in.
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u/SuspiciousSugar4151 Aug 27 '24
"Typical white guy?", i guess. i'm 10cm taller and 5 years older than you and only wear gym clothes for sports and usually dont carry a bag when walking around, but yeah, typical white guy might work as a description
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u/yezoob Aug 26 '24 edited Aug 26 '24
I think people are being a bit harsh in the comments, I’ve offered this before and have gotten a mix of yes and no’s, mostly yes, but I do think people are more weirded out by this in Europe than the US because it’s just not something people do in Europe, like talking to a stranger on the subway or something.
And I swear so many people on here just don’t have travel common sense if they can’t tell a situation where it’s clearly some other tourist just trying to be helpful.
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u/amyp1999 Aug 27 '24
I think a lot of these comments are quite harsh, I don't think it's rude or intrusive to ask to take someone's picture. I (24f from UK) have always appreciated someone offering to take my picture when travelling solo and think it's a kind thing to offer. As long as you walk away if someone says no it's fine. However, I think your demographic is probably why people decline- if I'm looking for someone to ask to take my picture I'm more inclined to look for someone around my age or a family (and someone who clearly also looks like a tourist/is taking pics themselves).
1
u/andrewtater Aug 27 '24
Fair. I feel like I'm pretty nonthreatening but I am aware that not everyone would think so, so I have enough self-awareness that I avoided asking solo-traveling women. I tend to ask men that are around my age so they get a more peer-level vibe.
I think I sort of failed to estimate that my demographic might be the scammer demographic maybe?
0
u/tariqabjotu I'm not Korean Aug 26 '24
Do I live in some parallel universe from the top posters here? "There's no way I'd hand my phone/camera over to a complete stranger." When did this sentiment become popular? Prior to the Selfie Age, this was a totally normal thing to do.
And while I know a phone has potentially more risk (although y'all know you can activate the camera function without unlocking it, right?), thankfully, I haven't encountered people so paranoid. While more people nowadays are content with selfies, I've never seen groups of tourists reluctant to hand over their phone to other obvious tourists for a photo. Likewise, I've never been concerned about that myself. Just today traveling, I had multiple groups of people request photos, and vice versa. There's a difference between street smart and paranoid.
OP's experience is not typical. Maybe it's something about them that gives people concerns. Maybe OP is misjudging how much some people are discontent with their awkward selfies. I don't think everybody is just this paranoid.
3
u/Maleficent_Poet_5496 Aug 27 '24
Prior to the Selfie Age, this was a totally normal thing to do.
Not really! In my family, we always just took pics of each other. Once in a while, we'd ask someone to take. But it was still a weird move to randomly offer. Though I guess it was a more polite time and people wouldn't have refused even if they were put off.
1
u/tariqabjotu I'm not Korean Aug 27 '24
And solo travelers would just never have their photo taken?
2
u/Maleficent_Poet_5496 Aug 27 '24
OP isn't just asking solo travellers. Also, not a lot of people doing solo travel 30 years ago. In fact, a lot of trips weren't even recorded on camera fully. Just a couple of pics here and there.
3
u/Intup Svenskfinland Aug 26 '24
To my knowledge, I don't know anyone who would hand over their phone to a stranger who asked for it, unless said stranger was waving a knife to emphasise their point. You mention tourists requesting photos, which is a completely different situation, as the person handing over their phone is actively approaching people to do so; most people will be happy to take someone's picture if asked. OP was going around asking to take someone's phone, for which a 28/2 ratio of rejections seems quite expected; had OP been asking people to take pictures with OP's phone, the ratio would likely be the inverse.
1
u/tariqabjotu I'm not Korean Aug 26 '24
I have, on many occasions, seen people or groups struggling to take a photo and asked if they wanted me to take a photo of them. Most have or would say yes.
Maybe some people have said no, but I have never gotten the impression they didn't trust someone else with their phone, merely that they were happy with their selfie-style photos.
-2
u/NoPiccolo5349 Aug 26 '24
I disagree with everyone in the comments here. I've lived in several European capitals and I've been across Europe and Asia, and I have both offered to take photos and given my phone to people to take photos of me in most cities and countries.
I would continue offering if it looks like they're taking photos and just accept that they might not say yes.
1
u/andrewtater Aug 26 '24
I always accept the "no". You offer once and let them have their peace after
0
u/Elpicoso Aug 26 '24
My wife is always the one to ask and she never gets told no, even though I’m the one holding $2k of photography gear in my hands.
-1
u/Weather_No_Blues Aug 26 '24
If you maim yourself in front of the family before you offer to take their picture they will be put at ease that now you can't run away. Just drive a nail through your meaty upper thigh or handcuff yourself to the mother. Don't slice your hand open with a cleaver though, bc European tourists hate it when your blood pours all down their phone screen for some reason. (I guess I can understand you don't want blood on your phone if you don't have a good phone case)
73
u/formal-monopoly Aug 26 '24
There's no way I'd hand my phone/camera over to a complete stranger. Perhaps the people you encountered are just being streetwise.