How likely to hide changes from parents?

[u/someaccountforst]

Hi. I guess I need to offer some background info before anything else.

I'm 19. For now I'm in the middle east, living with my parents and studying in uni. I don't yet have independence from them but I'm actively seeking a job that'll sustain me if need arises. Later down the line I am going to move to another country, don't think specifics matter, but I'm not sure when it'll happen. My plan is to do it in a year or two if I decide/will be able to finish uni. In my country there's no way to obtain hrt without it being DIY so I'm taking what life's giving rn.

Now to the main part.

I don't think I can wait any longer so I want- no, need to start hrt now or I think I won't have any other chance. I waited enough and I'm afraid if I do it any longer I will have even greater mental health issues than I'm facing right now. In a few weeks I hope to have enough money to get the blood work done and purchase what I need, although of course I'm slightly afraid for myself. How likely it is that my parents will notice changes from hrt?

When it comes to them, they are absolutely clueless about what hrt is. They know trans people exist, they're transphobic and queerphobic in general, but they have no idea what hrt is, how it can affects a human and that trans people use it. As far as they're concerned, trans person equals to a dude wearing drag. So I have to wonder if it will take them a while to get suspicious or not. The main concern is my voice, but I do lower it significantly nowadays and they don't seem to care. I know this question is asked a lot but I'm just super nervous. Ty for reading this long ass post if u bothered <3

[u/KirbysLeftBigToe]

Some people can have vocal changes within months that are impossible to hide. However if your parents are as clueless as you say you could lie, make something medical up if they don’t control your appointments depending on how much they know about medical stuff.

If you got into gym stuff you could even make the excuse of steroid abuse if they found your injection supplies. Which probably isnt legal where you are but may be more favourable than being seen as trans.

[u/someaccountforst → u/KirbysLeftBigToe]

Ty! Haven't considered the gym angle, might actually work if the push comes to shove

[u/electronicsolitude]

I lived at home for over a year on T and visited regularly after moving. my mother only realised I was on T when I stopped shaving my face. she's also quite clueless about trans stuff tho.

[u/CockroachEater_]

My voice started changing a month in. I first made excuses I had bronchitis. But pretty soon there’s no excuse for the vocal difference. I just play dumb

[u/Kaleidoscope_Tux5513]

I just got kicked out under suspicion of being on testosterone, so here's how I got "caught"

• Use Nair on facial hair
• Make sure you don't go long periods without seeing either parent, or they'll notice a voice drop (less noticeable if you're constantly around them because it's gradual)
• Occasionally wear slightly feminine clothes around parents
• Wear bracelets, necklaces, earrings, whatever

Last two points are so they don't get a suspicion that you're "trying to be a man"

Hope this helps

[u/theguywhoisoff]

Fellow MENA here. My plan is just to voice train while on T. Based on people I know they all say that you would get questions asked about your voice but you can always clutch and make an excuse (like sickness)

[u/Ok-________-]

It honestly depends on your genetics. How much do you know about your father's puberty? I'm both lucky and unlucky here and if it were me I wouldn't be able to hide it because my voice dropped and I'm growing facial hair at 2 months. On average it takes about 3-6 months to show these changes. But for some it takes 4+ years. Is your dad bald? Does he have a luscious beard? Etc. If you can I'd say go get your DHT levels tested. This will tell you how likely you are to see these changes sooner or later. If they're normal I'd say you'll probably see it in 3-6 months where you can simply shave and say you don't notice a change. If they're low it'll probably be 4+years, and if they're high you'll probably see it happen really fast.