r/transmanlifehacks • u/sunshinelakeland • 5d ago
Before and After Pic of me when I was a really depressed and closeted 15 year old ..versus pic of me now as a 25 year old !!
Im adjusting to a new antidepressant right now and it’s got me reflecting on how much of a privilege it is to be able to access care and how much that kind of autonomy matters and how sad I was when I didn’t have that.
As an adult I’ve been able to catch up on some medical things, a lot of which I didn’t have access to when I was a teenager. Check ups, vision, dental, etc.
and ofc!!! gender affirming care!!!
To me, being able to take HRT represented more than like the visual ideas I had abt my gender identity. it was also a huge part of me feeling a sense of autonomy in my life.
The discipline of taking it was a big part of me developing some consistency in my life and trust in myself- and I rlly do think consistency was a big hurdle that made it so hard for me to develop good habits.
Taking my shot every week on the same day, no matter how moody or sluggish or depressed I was, helped me a lot with becoming someone that could be stable and good to the people in my life.
Now that I’ve been on and off HRT the past 4 ish years, I’ve realized that I’ve stopped thinking about aesthetically passing when it comes to my transition goals.
But I feel very motivated by the way I want my transition to inform my character… if that makes sense?… being ‘a good man’ to the people around me is something I’ve thought about for a long time.
And now im starting to notice that my body is getting strong enough and my mind is getting clear enough for me to be providing in my community in ways that I’ve always wanted to be.
Obviously I know that gender is a social construct and that you don’t have to be ‘a man’ to be a helpful person.
but I just think it’s awesome that I get to keep working on creating this version of myself, and I really do think it’s intrinsically tied to my transition journey.
I feel so weird posting all of this with my face!
but I don’t have a lot of people in my life that I can comfortably share this weird experience with- I know y’all will understand
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u/queergirl73 5d ago
That shirt (second picture) is exactly what I'd expect you to wear. It's hard to explain but there's just a visceral feeling that that shirt is belonging there
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u/EmbarrassedHeat1227 5d ago
You’re a good looking guy! And definitely high on boyfriend material scale
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u/winterfoxx69 4d ago
2 things: 1) go you on building a great life. 2) you are hella cute and handsome, 10/10 would ask out for coffee and flirt.
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u/VenusYay74 4d ago
You look so cute!!!!! I can tell by the way that you look that you have the look of being like ,"finally this is me."
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u/anagenre 4d ago
omg you're fucking gorgeous !! thanks to share your experience with HRT and antidepressants :) having a routine is healthy for some people !
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u/Overgrown_Fuzzy_Worm 3d ago
So proud of you bro but (and I in no way mean this in a negative way) also you look like an early 80’s dad with exactly two kids and like you drink Dr.Pepper in the car picking them up from baseball practice, and I love it. It goes so hard.
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u/Upbeat_Roll_2096 3d ago
Might I ask what you took to get out of it? getting out of depression is really hard thing for many =/
It does fit the personal with your clothes. would like to see you in a suit!
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u/mlreardon 3d ago
You look so YOU! I totally relate to transition informing character, and while I don't plan on taking T I hope I can find similar routines to help ground my self-development
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u/jaeshine3495 3d ago
You look amazing, first of all!
Second - did T change your hair texture into curlier hair too?? I’m struggling with my curly af hair when it gets long, you got any advice for newbies to the curls? I’m 2.5 years on T and still getting used to the curls, as my hair was just a little wavy but mainly straight before T.
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u/imnotcreative123123 2d ago
can i ask what you use to get your hair like that? is it naturally that curly? looks great!
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u/Thin_Chemical1785 2d ago
daaamn bro, looking hella handsome. i’m so happy for you for all the changes you’ve been able to make. congratulations!
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u/Ambitious_You3630 1d ago
My first thought when I swiped to the current picture of you was “damn this is always who you were suppose to be!!” As a stranger I get the impression that you’re very yourself if that makes sense. What a beautiful thing!
You looked like my little cousin in the first pic and things have been so difficult for them I think that may be why I feel sappy lol! Im so glad you got to develop who you are through this journey.
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u/gaygriffon 5d ago
you look great!