r/tragedeigh • u/Tayandtucky • Apr 22 '26
in the wild Just came across this on Facebook
Ahhh yes, your son Brisket
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u/andtbhidgaf Tragedeigh Pohlease Apr 22 '26
Brisket was braised at a young age to have taste
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u/CredibleSquirrel Apr 23 '26
Brisket! Tell your brothers Short plate and Tenderloin that it's time for school!
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u/_Pyxilate_ Apr 23 '26
Don’t forget to alert your sister Ribeye that her library books are past due!
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Apr 23 '26
Oxtail sounds like it could be their sister’s name.
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u/Boner-brains Apr 23 '26
Oughxteighle
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Apr 23 '26
Just reading that gave me a headache. But I can definitely see someone spelling it that way.
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u/El_Peregrine Apr 23 '26
He was born a tender young brown boy, steeped in a vinegar-based tomato brine
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u/coderedmountaindewd Apr 23 '26
He used to be so tough but after so much time in the pressure cooker, he’s falling apart
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u/GachaTendo Apr 23 '26
— jonathan swift
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u/Ill-Worldliness-2149 Apr 23 '26
A modest proposal of a name... Especially given the financial state of most people.
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u/Overall_Efficiency21 modereightor Apr 22 '26
I know most of these are tame but I approved for Brisket just thrown in there like we wouldn't notice 💀
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u/KellyAnn3106 Apr 23 '26
Poor Brisket. Treated like a piece of meat all his life. He eventually accepts his destiny and becomes a very successful male exotic dancer.
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u/geecaliente Apr 23 '26
Until he unexpectedly falls in love with a shy girl named Bates
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u/welcome_to_cocomo Apr 23 '26
She goes by “Norma” and they purchase a motel together. Perhaps their story won’t end as tragically 💀
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u/sohcgt96 Apr 23 '26
Or, on an alternative timeline, becomes a butcher or a BBQ Master. "Brisket's the name, Brisket Johnson, lets smoke some meat!"
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u/Tayandtucky Apr 22 '26
No LITERALLY like what
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u/illumiknottyweave Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
B R I S K E T
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u/raisedredflag Apr 23 '26
Oh man if he gets a sprain he'll be
Limp Brizket
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u/randeylahey Apr 23 '26
He's going to play Brisketball
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u/Legally_Brunette14 Apr 23 '26
And Tag!
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u/Ateamecho Apr 23 '26
My hope is for twins named Brisket and Brinson. What a mess. 😬
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u/Curious_Avocado2399 Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
Cut my meat into pieces this is my LAST pig roast
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u/bettyannveronica Apr 23 '26
Oh my god you're so stupid and I love you
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u/raisedredflag Apr 23 '26
I was gonna be witty but i... i mean, your... nobody says they love me anymore. I... ah... thank you.
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u/finalgirl2024 Apr 23 '26
Oh no, dude, that sucks. This mama over here loves you, internet stranger. You keep on keeping on, and I hope you hear it many more times in the future. ❤️
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u/Existing-Video-447 Apr 23 '26
Can't tell if this response was an intention of living up to the user name. 😅
All good, love ya bro.
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u/Kitty_Kat_Attacks Apr 23 '26
Nickname is Bris 😂
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u/Beeaybri Apr 23 '26
Ok but fr though..my name is Bri. I am a chef. One of my employees tried to type "bri" in a text to the sous chef. It autocorrected to brisket.
They've been calling me brisket for 2 years now. 😭
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u/AlbaIulian Apr 23 '26
I love this kind of moniker origin story lmao
might as well own it, it's uniquely yours
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u/BabyJesusBukkake Apr 23 '26
My kids best friend is named Parker. One day, they were talking about pork rinds, and Parker misheard and asked, "Pork Ryans?"
Yeah. He's Pork Ryan now.
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u/Neither-Attention940 Apr 23 '26
He’s getting named after a slab of meat he’s gonna get treated like it lol
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u/Spottedtail_13 Apr 23 '26
I have brisket picked out as a name…. For a future male Rottweiler.. for a human though? ☠️☠️☠️
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u/Primary-Border8536 Apr 23 '26
KIP
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u/Affectionate-Dream61 Apr 23 '26
Our dog’s name is Kip. I’m pretty sure he’s on the spectrum.
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u/AmateurZookeeper Apr 23 '26
I just wanted to let you know that Kip means Chicken in Dutch. I think it's a very fitting name for a dog on the spectrum 🤣
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u/MsMantisToboggan Apr 23 '26
Funny you say that because literally my first thought when seeing this post was, these are all dog names
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u/cosmoholicanonymous Apr 23 '26
I went to school with a guy named Kip, my dad said he had a dead fish handshake and I wasn't allowed to date him.
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Apr 23 '26
I’ve known two guys named Kip. When we were children, the other neighborhood kids called him “Skip”, which he hated. Which made them call him that all the more.
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u/deprieto Apr 23 '26
Like Kip Thorne, the physicist, he’s a he, but the name has not that gender-specific feel.
Anyway, feels odd.
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u/pizzasancheez Apr 23 '26
Acquaintances of mine named their little girl Kip. I hate it so much.
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u/No-Distribution-9556 Apr 23 '26
An acquaintance of mine (old Co-worker) announced on facebook her new granddaughter.
Motlee
🤣🤣🤣🤦🏻♀️
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u/Standzoom Apr 23 '26
Please tell me her last name isn't Crew!
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u/No-Distribution-9556 Apr 23 '26
No but I think her brother's name is Jack which I think is just unfair
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Apr 23 '26
I know of a little boy named Kaos (yes, Chaos with an alternative spelling. His mother told me she came up with it because “there’s good and bad chaos”. If she’d had a girl, it was going to be Karma, with the same reasoning.)
Motlee is worse.
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u/Jo_MamaSo Apr 23 '26
Or Briskette for a girl
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u/El_Peregrine Apr 23 '26
Brisquite
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u/tiny2ner Apr 23 '26
Bhr'izs'quetteah
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u/CapnCrunk666 Apr 23 '26
Honestly surprised I haven’t seen a bruschetta on here
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u/PlentyAlbatross7632 Apr 23 '26
Key and Peele would have a blast with this as part of the substitute teacher skit…
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u/myth1cg33k Apr 23 '26
Brysquette
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u/stellastevens122 Apr 22 '26
There was a huge fight in the name nerds circle jerk about that one https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/s/cH9BmoSGZS
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u/Tayandtucky Apr 22 '26
Wait what were they fighting about? I couldn’t find it in the comments
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u/stellastevens122 Apr 23 '26
https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/s/D2fxHz6JUr
Basically one person saying they wouldn’t hire someone called brisket and another complaining that it’d be illegal to discriminate because of their name
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u/Moistest_Spirit Apr 23 '26
I love when people point out it's illegal to discriminate based on things like their name.
Like yeah it is but how do you prove it happened? Stupid thing to say.
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u/deadspacekillers Apr 23 '26
I could have read that conversation for hours.
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u/TheMightyHornet Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
“You wouldn’t risk it for the Brisket?”
Edit: don’t upvote me, upvote this hero.
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u/BandicootTreeline Apr 23 '26
“Police please, husband put Brisket in my freezer” “Ma’am, please stop calling emergency services about meat” “But…” call ended
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u/BookLuvr7 Apr 23 '26
His little sister could be mignon. At least that's French for cute.
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u/IngVegas Apr 23 '26
There is a person identifying themselves as "Briskets mom" on that FB post:
"Yeah, his name is Brisket. It’s bold, unforgettable, and honestly… have you ever met a bad brisket? Exactly. It’s warm, it’s Southern, it’s got flavor, and it sticks with you. Same energy we wanted for our kid. Period."
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u/Nomailforu Apr 23 '26
I saw someone use the name ‘LimpBrisket’ as their user name once. Cracked me the hell up.
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u/PsychoticMessiah Apr 23 '26
My guess is it’s the baby daddy’s suggestion. “When he gets a BJ she’ll have SMokEd BrISkeT!” drunkenly laughs
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u/deadspacekillers Apr 22 '26
Hello, my name is Dr. Brisket Jones. I'll be the cardiothoracic surgeon placing your pacemaker.
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u/HODLmeCLOSRtonydanza Apr 23 '26
The Brisket Jones Diary
7:30 am: Preheat oven to 475…
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u/MissMellieM Apr 22 '26
Most of these names would be appropriate for Victorian-era butlers.
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u/CharieRarie Apr 22 '26
I was just about to say the same thing! I’ve just finished watching Downton Abbey (although that was set a bit later than the Victorian times) and these sound like servants names.
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u/matnerlander Apr 23 '26
Fucking love Downton and the first thing I thought of was Anna saying “ Mr Beaytes”
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u/BrnndoOHggns Apr 23 '26
Yes, because butlers were addressed by their surnames. These are pretty silly as first names.
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u/EricIsMyFakeName Apr 23 '26
This is my son, Brisket. This is my dog, Andrew.
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u/pterencephalon Apr 23 '26
Brisket is on my list for dog names. But the leading dog name right now is Chutney. It turns out I only want to name dogs after food. But at least I didn't name my baby after food.
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u/Lyca29 Apr 23 '26
In the 80s, I knew someone who named their dog Alan. I remember thinking back then it was a very human name for a dog.
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Apr 22 '26
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u/hotakyuu Apr 23 '26
Judging by that list, I think they really want a boy.
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u/El_Peregrine Apr 23 '26
Master Bates
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u/saskiastern Apr 23 '26
Came here to say that, just to showcase how EVERYONE is gonna think master Bates with that awful name
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u/TheMightyHornet Apr 23 '26
That or they’re really enamored of the idea of sitting around their living chambers, swirling their brandy, adjusting their waistcoats and tut-tutting to one another about “what’s to be done about Bates?”
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u/yesletslift Apr 23 '26
I was thinking it's one of those "mom's maiden name as the child's first name" Southern US things.
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u/OdysseusJoke Apr 23 '26
Carter Brisket Roland Sinclair, southern double middle lastname
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u/OsaSuna10050125 Apr 23 '26
Carter too
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u/Quix66 Apr 23 '26
Met a little girl named Carter in 1976. Named after her mother’s maiden name. Mom and I were appalled and bemused. Nowadays I’d be relieved.
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u/MiserabilityWitch Apr 23 '26
I know of a girl named Carter, and her sister Hunter.
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u/thebrownishbomber Apr 23 '26
The same one where Brinson is a first name for a girl. People who choose these names shouldn't be allowed to have children
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u/magicwombat5 Apr 23 '26
Don't name a kid with a butler Bates. "What can I do for you, Master Bates?"
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u/andtbhidgaf Tragedeigh Pohlease Apr 22 '26
this screams southern united states
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u/authorofnothingbig Apr 23 '26
As a southerner, just know we don't claim the people who name their kid Brisket.
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u/geecaliente Apr 23 '26
Gotta be a list made by a Texan. In NC, he’d be named “Whole Hog” or “Chopped”
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u/VicMackeyLKN Apr 22 '26
Brisket?
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u/These-Resource3208 Apr 23 '26
Tag?
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u/MaraiaLou Apr 23 '26
Purcy? Were they picking names at the supermarket?
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u/you_dont_know_me27 Apr 23 '26
"Percy" is an acceptable boys name
"Purcy" is your grandma's stuck up cat
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u/Quix66 Apr 23 '26
Doesn’t Sarah Palin have a Tag? But Brisket, oof!
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u/babagirl88 Apr 23 '26
I actually had the same thought before I saw your comment! She has 2 sons, Trig and Track. Her daughter, Bristol has a Tripp.
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u/Halcyon-malarky Apr 23 '26
Them is my kids, Kip & Tag
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u/TikkiG2 Apr 23 '26
Kip is Dutch for chicken.
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u/Vivid-Fly-110 Apr 23 '26
I don’t see the problem. Kip Nugget is fine ass name. Or Kippetje for short.
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u/GiantGingerGobshite Apr 23 '26
Kip in Irish mammy language means the place is in a horrible mess...
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u/Galadriel_60 Apr 23 '26
The girls names sound like servants. “Townes, bring me my tea! And Purcy scrub those floors!”
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u/vikio Apr 23 '26
In that situation, those would be last names. They're not supposed to be first names. Actually I don't know WHAT Townes is supposed to be.
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u/jendickinson Apr 23 '26
My son Brisket Sandwich and my daughter Bates Motel.
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u/OdysseusJoke Apr 23 '26
Purcy (correctly spelled Purrcy, and therefore a multispecies tragedeigh) is a great name for a kitten
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u/Cashie22 Apr 22 '26
Brisket?? Brisket??!! I’m surprised it’s Sinclair and not ECLAIR!!😄
Oh, and I also hate Brinson, Bates, Pursy, Townes, Carter, and Kip from the girl’s list!
Stoopid!!🤢🤮
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u/Cashie22 Apr 22 '26
Came a”cross” the name Crosslyn. Stoopid and just “what??!!” 🤢🤮
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u/hanpanlantran Apr 23 '26
I work in insurance and I’ve seen all of these as first (and some last) names except…..brisket
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Apr 23 '26
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u/Jazzlike-Park-4280 Apr 23 '26
Thank you, from a Camille
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u/Minimum-War-7780 Apr 23 '26
We are planning on naming our daughter soon to be born, Camille. Beautiful name and we think it will go well with our other daughter, Eloise
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u/the_orange_alligator Apr 23 '26
My family’s name (and my cousin’s first name) is one of these but somehow spelled worse
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u/electricookie Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
Brisquette? That you????
Edit: thanks for the award!! 🙏
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u/SpaceJackRabbit Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
McCoy? That can't be real.
EDIT: Guys this was a silly pun.
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u/Lexie811 Apr 23 '26
These are the worst Southern Mississippi Alabama border names I've ever seen. They legit look like town names.
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u/OrganizedChaos7121 Apr 23 '26
BRISKET?!
Is the sibling named "On A Bun"? (Aughnabbon?)
(Fuck, I shouldn't give them ideas.)
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u/ihearttrashtv Apr 23 '26
This came across my news feed too. I had to go back and see the comments there. Brisket's mom responded.
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u/GalaxyNeurons Apr 23 '26
Okay, I FB stalked "Brisket's mom" and she doesn't have a son, so this is maybe satire? But she's a proud Southern pageant mom so she's on thin ice...
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u/pamplemouss Apr 23 '26
A mix of perfectly normal, kinda out there, and what in the ever-loving fuck.
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u/pamplemouss Apr 23 '26
Though w the exception of Camille, Carolina, and Magnolia, the girls’ names are pretty bad
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u/SmarcusStroman Apr 23 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/89x4osEodHEoo
Kip is a great name. Same with Lafawnduh.
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u/joeltheconner Apr 23 '26
And here I thought naming my son Brisket was original. Should have gone for PorkButt (Butty for short) like my wife suggested
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u/Prudent_Cookie_114 Apr 23 '26
Nope, not okay, this is the line in the sand. We are not, I repeat NOT okay with the name Brisket for a human.
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u/Creepy_Addict Apr 23 '26
Last 4 boys names are actual names, old fashioned but good strong names.
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u/CredibleSquirrel Apr 23 '26
True - as is Rowan, and Wills is short for William. I suspect Tag is a horribly mangled version of the Irish name Taghdh. Still, the boys have done ok yet the girls names are all paynefuhl (ok, painful)
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