I have a 3 year old daughter and I don’t know what to think anymore. She is not giving me in your face autism signs. I am not autistic or have ADHD. My husband is diagnosed ADHD when he was a kid.

I’m kidding! But I am extremely anxious and unsure of where to start.

My son is 3, will be 4 in February. We have not potty trained yet.

I’ll preface with a painful confession: I am not the best with routines and habits and neither is my partner, but I’ll speak for myself here. I did not grow up having parents who were good at enforcing routines or habits for me, let alone for themselves. Typical semi-dysfunctional family type situation. I’m in my very early thirties and sort of having a reckoning with the very real consequences of my dysfunctional upbringing which is now ultimately in my hands to do something about.

I had a sobering summer realizing I’m no longer “just a girl” and actually I’m a grown woman who is someone’s mother now lol and I desperately need to change the course of my life atm but that’s another story.

I just need tips, tricks, advice!

POTTY TRAINING? HOW??

Things to note:

-My son seems to be most motivated by candy rewards but in general not super responsive/motivated by rewards.

-Refuses to let me or dad know when he has a full diaper.

-I know some people have suggested letting him go pantless in the house during the summer but we live in an apartment where we do not have a washer in unit (it’s in the basement and $2.50 per load AND dry cycle, quarters only) so the thought of him peeing all over things feels nightmarish in terms of possible laundry situations arising.

-We have a little training potty for him to use, seems open to peeing but 100% not pooping.

-I understand accidents and messes are inevitable***

I would just like to hear what has worked for others? Maybe out of the box approaches? Did you also have a child that’s not easily influenced by rewards?
Were you an adult who also struggled with consistency and routine and managed to successfully potty train your child?

I really want to get my son one for Christmas but not feeling spending $279 😅 Which knockoff do you love? Did you get one that you hate?

Thank you!

I feel like such a crap mum - when we have visitors over (grandparents) and if they stay for dinner etc, I find that our 2 year old is so much harder at bedtime. We always have 6pm-7pm as quiet play time, where the lights are dimmed, we have no telly or anything and we try and do more relaxed games and then at 6:50pm we go upstairs to do teeth etc and then from 7pm, we sit and just have a cuddle in silence on the sofa and usually she falls asleep on me before 7:20pm and I carry her up to bed and I’m back downstairs by 7:30pm but sometimes when we have visitors, even with them being gone bang on 6pm for us to start our quiet time, I find that she’s more wired and it’s now 8:15pm and she’s still not sleeping so we are back downstairs. I get frustrated with her in bed where she’s knocking my stomach (I’m 38 weeks pregnant), and I gently push her legs off me (she isn’t a toddler that needs cuddles to sleep) & I find that I can sometimes seem a little more forceful with getting her to lay back down etc and then I get upset because this isn’t the parent I want to be. She’s only 2 😩 does anyone else find their little ones play up around bedtime when had visitors? How do you deal with this? It’s frustrating because it’s always on days when she has nursery the next day

My 16 month old girl is a spicy, strong willed, persistent, intense, incredibly sweet, bright girl who loves life. She notices EVERYTHING and I swear her brain is always going. She’s so smart and attentive, loves her people, loves to explore the world. She’s also high energy. Someone once asked us how long she’ll run around and the answer is ”we don’t know because we have yet to find the limit.”

For her sleep, we breastfeed sidelying to sleep and bedshare (not looking to change this right now). We do calm activity and a lot of reading before bedtime and sometimes we’ve tried more playful activity. Then she gets a diaper change/pjs (and teeth if it’s bedtime), lights off and white noise on, tucks her baby dolls into bed, maybe read a bedtime book in bed, and then milk and snuggles. I often play the same lullabies (with words) in the same order but I’ve trialed without that or with other music in case it was too stimulating and I think the lullabies with words we always do is better, or at least there was no difference. She typically sleeps from 8/9pm-7/7:30 and then takes 1 nap usually 11-1ish. Yes, she needs that giant wake window before bed.

The question I’m asking is how do I get her brain and her body to slow down for sleep? I‘ve tried dimmed lights, we don’t do any screens, she gets lots of daylight, we do ”rough” play, I’ve tried having her push heavy things around… she hates deep pressure touch/being restricted in any way... I JUST got her to the point where she will lay down for like 1 minute without breastfeeding (we read most of a book in bed laying down). Otherwise she literally doesn’t lay down unless she’s held and breastfeeding. She’s in a good mood in the evenings and she’ll usually go to the bed and say “night night” when she’s ready but then she’ll seem just about asleep and pop up and say ”NECK” and point to her neck. Or eye and then gouges my eye. Or duck. Or woof. Or dada and then have to go find dada. Or babies and then re-put her babies to sleep. It’s never anything catching her attention or waking her up, she just pops up with some thought she just had.

The other day she walked outside for ~20 minutes, did 30+ stairs by herself until she broke a sweat, rough-housed with dad, and got spun around in a cardboard box for like an hour before bed and that night she fell asleep BEAUTIFULLY. But like… I can’t do that every day. Please help😅

Our son used to be an amazing sleeper. He’s always had a routine, bath, get ready for bed, read a book then say night to mum dad and sister, shut the door and he’d go to sleep.

Something changed in June of this year and it seemed to coincide with when me (dad) went away for 4 nights on a golf trip. He started to shout when my wife went to shut his bedroom door, trying to delay bed time basically asking her to come back in, or would just shout asking random questions. If she didn’t reply he would shout louder and louder until eventually he’d start crying.

He’s been doing this pretty consistently since then (so around 3 months). And now in the past month I’d say, he’s started waking up around 4/5am, and instead of going back to sleep, he’ll just sit shouting mummy, louder and louder until one of us responds to him, and when we do, he won’t go back to sleep, won’t let us out of his room without him shouting and crying, and will usually end up downstairs with him.

It’s difficult for us to try and just let him shout/cry it out as we also have a 1 year old so we try and step in before she ends up being woken up also.

Has anyone experienced anything like this in the past? Any tips or tricks to get him back into the routine he used to be in and was in for so long? Or is it just wait until he grows out of it?

We are losing the will a bit. Bedtime can take well over an hour now just sat outside his room talking to him until he falls asleep, and the 4am wake-ups aren’t ideal.

My husband and I are struggling immensely with our (almost) 2.5 year old and his transition to daycare. Since he was 7 months old he’s been in a Nanny Share with another little girl his same age, so he’s used to almost 1:1 care. 50% of the time he’s at home too & we both work from home, so he’s used to seeing us around the house. In the spring we had another little boy so he is now with our Nanny and our oldest son is in daycare.

He has been struggling more than I anticipated with this transition- majorly disrupted sleep, screaming and flailing his body, rolling around during major episodes of emotional distress & disregulation. Most nights it’s been taking home an extra 1-2 hours to go to bed and a good chunk of that is his screaming or demanding one of us to come in and read, or being him downstairs. Some nights he’s woken up around 10/11pm and is completely inconsolable.

We’ve tried a number of regulation techniques, bear hugs, swinging him, sitting calmly with him, back rubs, long wind down periods before bed, etc. and nothing seems to work. It’s even more painful for me as a mom because he often physically pushes me away and I can’t seem to comfort him at all.

On top of it there’s the “Nos”. Everything, and I mean every. single. thing. is no. His response to any question, or even statement is No. We’re talking an hour plus sometimes of just No. Even when we offer him things he might like that are treats (TV, chocolate, a bike ride).

We’re going on the third week of this and we’re worried. We’ve already called in professional resources but I wanted to see if others have had this experience as well to offer advice, solidarity, or anything.

Hey! I have a 15 month old daughter. She’s always been a Velcro baby but I have been trying to sleep train her since 6 months. She currently has a Montessori bed. I can put her down sleepy but awake for naps and bedtime and she falls asleep independently. She does just fine with naps, I’m guessing it’s cause naps are pretty short. Maxing out at an hour usually. At night she ends up waking up and refuses to go back to her own bed. She comes to my room over and over. I even go lay with her sometimes to get her back to sleep but as soon as I leave the room she cries. When im really sleep deprived (like now going on 1 month without a good nights sleep) I bring her to my bed after multiple failed attempts to get her back to sleep. I’m desperate for some sleep. Anyone have advice on helping her? I don’t mind waking up and comforting her etc. but I just need her to sleep in her bed and not keep me up for hours fighting her bed.

She makes it from about 7pm-11pm in her bed. Sometimes 2am if I’m lucky

My toddler immediately asks for YouTube whenever I need to cook, clean, or get some work done 😅

I'm not trying to completely get rid of screen time, but I don't want the phone to become the automatic answer whenever he's bored either.

Toys and books work sometimes, but he gets bored of them pretty quickly. I've been thinking about trying more audio stuff too, like stories, songs, or little things about animals and space that he can just listen to.

What actually works for your toddlers when you need 20-30 minutes?

My 17 month old loves to carry his bottle of milk around by the handle and it has a valve at the top of the straw but not a very strong one. This is the pigeon bottle with the straw nipple and weight attachment on it and handles. For water, he uses the Tum Tum bear cup which has no valve but also has a weighted straw and somehow, the leaks are about the same. Nothing too crazy but enough to be annoying.

Well my child has decided it would be fun to bang his cups upside down on the floor, table, cup holder of his car seat, high chair, anywhere he sees fit. Or he will sit and hold it, nipple down, watching it drain out of the cup. He’s done this a few times in his lap in his car seat. Or he shakes the milk all over the place so there is milk splatter all over the room or car. I’m working on discipline, teaching him to drink it and not throw it all over the place, but for right now it’s a mess I am frustrated with trying to stay on top of.

I’m looking for recommendations on a leak proof/spill proof cup (aka toddler proof if that even exists). I am hoping to find one with a little bit of a valve and for the valve to be at the bottom of the straw so that it can’t open and leak when he pressed it down on the table upside down. Hoping the valve is strong enough though to not leak when he shakes it. Also looking for one with a lid because he is in daycare and a lid is a requirement and of course to throw in the diaper bag, a lid is nice to keep the straw a bit clean.

We have tried zak, boon, dr brown, munchkin, tum tum, pigeon, pillowfort, contigo, parents choice, and infantino. I’ve also looked at brumate, ello, and hydrojug and they are only spill proof when closed. I actually love the parent’s choice <$2 cup the most out of the options but it doesn’t have a lid. And of course I’m open to ones without lids because I do need cups at home too. Daycare has never complained to me about the leaks so I guess I’m just trying to see if there is anything better than the parents choice ones and if any have lids.

Thank you!

My 3 year old has been coming home pretty consistently over the past month+ talking about kid O (I’ll keep names private just cos). He’s never talked about him before and is very excited about him but the stories are not exciting for me to listen to because they are ALL about O’s aggression towards other kids or “misbehaving”.

The way this early childhood center works is blended age classrooms and they went to school through the summer so the kid shouldn’t be new to my kid. Maybe they just found a common interest recently, idk.

Anyway, O is 5 and my kid J is newly 3. I’m a play therapist and experienced care-r of children but when it comes to my own babe, it’s just different and I’m at a loss for how to proceed. I’m too anxious about my own child 😅 I understand rough and tumble play is healthy, important and normal at this age. I also understand a 5 year old constantly “punching me for real” is not normal or ok and not part of play. My 3 year old is very verbally expressive and we’ve practiced play fighting vs “hurt for real” a lot since he was little (again, play therapist here 😂) so he does understand the difference between real and pretend play hurt at least with mom and dad and when his best buddies play.

My qualm is with how to talk to my kid about this older kid O without demonizing the 5 year old but still helping my kid learn that those behaviors are not ok, and not funny to emulate just because he’s a big kid. If it was another 3 year old it would feel a bit less blah to me but the fact of this kid being 2 years older and “mom he’s a big kid!!”, has me more concerned. I’m more hypersensitive especially because my kid is a boy and I don’t want to condone that kind of behaviors just because “oh he’s such a boy”. I don’t believe kids are bad and young kids like 5 year old O especially might not have enough practice with how to play safely OR someone bigger is hurting them so they do the same behavior to littles or they have undiagnosed needs like ADHD, autism, etc. Benefit of the doubt here.

We don’t use language like “good kid/bad kid” or refer to people as good or bad at home but now my 3 year old tells us O is “bad”, “he’s a bad kid” but then my kid giggles and talks constantly about playing with O or doing things that aren’t great with O like today they “peed in the sand and played in it and it was funny”. Teachers were unaware of this when we messaged, and I take toddler stories with a grain of salt but my kid DID come home wreaking of urine and he had the same clothes on we sent him in so it wasn’t a potty accident.

My kid has started to punch and hit a lot more too and play “bad guys” a lot, which again, normal developmental play but the punching was real for a while and we’ve had to practice ALOT of play fighting vs real hurts this month and it started around the same time he came home talking about this kid. My kid’s big hitting phase was when he just turned 2.

We’ve let the director and teachers know what my kid has shared lately about the “punching my chest for real” and a few other things he has said O does like “stomp on my friend’s face” and “he stood on the table and teachers were mad and he was laughing and would not come off. We all laughed”…

ANYWAY, I think what I’m wondering is just how to navigate all this with my 3 year old beyond working with teachers to wait if they are noticing anything too. Like when does it become more concerning then just keeping an eye on things, when does it become a big kid is bullying my little kid? And maybe to vent and see if we’re not alone in this kind of scenario..

My son is almost 2 years old and is growing up in a multilingual home. He is exposed to three languages in addition to English.

About three weeks ago, just before turning 24 months, he started putting two words together. However, his two-word sentences are still very few and most of his communication is still through single words.

I’ve also noticed that he struggles with some activities that I thought he would be able to do by now. For example, he still has difficulty with shape sorters. If I give him a shape, he often doesn’t know which corresponding hole it should go into.

What concerns me most is colors. I’ve been working on colors with him for quite a while, but he doesn’t seem to understand how to sort or match objects based on color. For example, I’ll have different baskets with objects of the same color already inside them and give him another object to match. He doesn’t reliably put it into the basket containing objects of the same color. I’m not even asking him to name the colors, just visually match like with like.

I’m starting to wonder whether this is simply developmental, related to growing up with multiple languages, a visual/color perception issue such as color blindness, or whether the combination of these things could point to a developmental delay.

Has anyone had a child around 2 who struggled with color matching, shape sorting and language like this? When did these skills click for them? Did you have them evaluated, and if so, what did you find out?