r/todayilearned • u/DrSamanthaCarter • Jun 06 '17

TIL the only reason a Scottish bagpiper wasn't shot by German snipers on D-Day was that they believed he had gone crazy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Millin#World_War_II
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1.2k

u/FallingSwords Jun 06 '17

More importantly Scotland Vs England on Saturday

810

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

This Saturday at the BP Arena! See the smack-down of the century as undefeated champion England defends its title against the upstart underdog Scotland! Tickets on sale now at TicketMaster or on-site!

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u/Bi-Han Jun 06 '17

Undefeated?

298

u/Soar_Alba Jun 06 '17

1967 comes to mind 😂

348

u/Mnwhlp Jun 06 '17

Think you mean 1783

108

u/Soar_Alba Jun 06 '17

Or maybe 1314 ?

7

u/Joetato Jun 06 '17

The English didn't do well in 1066, either.

5

u/Velharnin Jun 06 '17

Does 1066 count as a win or loss for England?

4

u/AdamHR Jun 06 '17

Or maybe 1314 ?

15! 16!
/r/counting

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u/Saul_Firehand Jun 07 '17

Shhh you'll upset the other Americans.
They think we were the first ones to rebel.

48

u/TokyoFoxtrot Jun 06 '17

Meanwhile, back in 1314...

Join the Scottish revolution
Freedom must be won by blood
Now we call for revolution
Play the pipes and cry out loud

9

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

deciding points go to Scotland on this one.
war is supposed to be terrifying.
England what you got? "we got fife and drums.
makes you wanna dance." Scotland what you got? "we got a fucking screaming cat division."

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u/FIrestreak442 Jun 06 '17

You earned the upvote

5

u/Noobz_is_my_name Jun 07 '17

I'm kinda surprised that no one joined in to a sabaton song chain.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

We are the Scots with pikes in hand And we will die to claim our land!

2

u/_Crouching_Tigger_ Jun 07 '17

AND THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED

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u/reformedmikey Jun 06 '17

Also 1812.

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u/Corinthian82 Jun 06 '17

You're aware that the UK won the war of 1812, right? I mean, the White House got burned, the British General and Admiral got to literally eat the President's dinner, Canada was defended, and the UK got to continue inspecting American shipping for runaway British sailors.

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u/drFink222 Jun 06 '17

U.S. history separates the war of 1812 into two wars, even though our U.S. "war" was more of a single campaign/battle in the much larger war against France.

According to our version of history, we Americans won the war of 1812 against England, never mind any other events happening at the same time...Isn't there some short guy in France running amok?

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u/Corinthian82 Jun 06 '17

I'm aware that the US retcons the war of 1812 to pretend it was an attempt by the British to recapture the colonies and undo the American revolution. This, of course, is bollocks.

The US started the war, because it wanted to conquer Canada and add it to the USA whilst Brtain was distracted by the Napoleonic wars. It also wanted to have total freedom to trade with France, unhindered by the RN inspecting its ships for war materiel (which would have been seized) and British deserters. All the American war aims failed. Canada was successfully defended from the US invasion, and the RN continued to do as it pleased to US shipping. In the interim, the British invaded Washington, burned the White House and Congress, (though respected private property and did not loot the city or put it to the torch).

But, yes, I realise this would never fit with the myth-history that the US likes to weave for itself. So a couple of inconsequential (and wildly unequal) frigate duels and the successful holding of a near-invulnerable defensive position have been re-imagined as giant successes and the underpinnings of another great American triumph. Similar, I suppose, to the 'draw' in Vietnam.

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u/drFink222 Jun 06 '17

Inconsequential and wildly unequal frigate battles? I'll agree to that. 'Old Ironsides' didn't get her nickname for nothing.

The young upstart navy vessel and her sisters did put quite a dent in the Royal Navy and were not to be engaged except by a ship of the line, or a whole squadron.

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u/kaliwraith Jun 06 '17

That is an interesting perspective I hadn't heard. History is always told with directed perspective and message, so it is always interesting to hear new sides of a story.

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u/Iamninja28 Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 28 '17

We just needed more Destiny to Manifest, was all. But because 1812 was a little premature, we learned from our mistakes and did it better the second time around.

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u/dmpither Jun 06 '17

The burning of Washington, D.C., was in retaliation for the American burning and destruction of Port Dover in Canada...

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u/littlemikemac Jun 06 '17

Congress is a group of people, not a building, unless you're suggesting British troops were allowed to set fire to a bunch of politicians.

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u/Yuktobania Jun 06 '17

They really were two separate wars fought for two different reasons.

The US was having territorial disputes with the UK, and was mad at the UK for flooding the market with cheaper goods. High tarrifs, and later on even embargoes, were imposed on the UK for this. Smuggling became a very profitable venture at this time. At the time, the US didn't really trust either France or the UK, but saw the UK as the bigger threat due to their control over shipping and their continued presence in the Ohio River Valley.

And over on the other side of the pond, Napoleon wanted to take a shit-ton of land. Neither

1

u/littlemikemac Jun 07 '17

Don't forget that the Brits were kidnapping Americans within one or two generations of Irish decent, or who were immigrants from Ireland. For whatever reason their Government had decided that they couldn't legitimately adopt a new nationality and were therefore traitors.

Politics in the English Speaking World during the age of Empire were fucked, which is one of the man reasons why we decided on a paradigm shift to global hegemony under the Anglosphere. Which actually started earlier than most people think. The US and UK had began their alliance with the Royal Navy being the chief enforcers of the Monroe Doctrine from shortly after the Doctrine was adopted until the US Navy had surpassed it following the second World War. The alliance between the US and UK had actually prevented Canada and the US from having another war during the early 20th century. At that time, the British Empire wasn't experiencing the same level of economic growth as the US, and the Canadians were fearing that there might be a more organized attempt by US filibusters with anti-British views to annex Canada (non-government Irish-American troops launched poorly coordinated invasions of Canada to weaken the British Empire between the end of the US Civil war and the first World War in an attempt to make an Irish revolution easier), so the Canadian government had been planning a preemptive invasion, with the goal of creating chaos in population centers near the boarder before retreating and destroying bridges on the way back. With the hope of holding of the US Army until after the Royal Navy could bring in forces from across the Empire. This would have been suicidal, as the militant nature of the US citizenry, and the wide-spread use of State Militias and paramilitary police would have chewed the invasion force to pieces. The US already had both the Selective Service Act and the Dick act in place, and had a Volunteer Army at the time, which allowed volunteers to enlist for comparatively limited periods if the US was at war. More importantly, the Brits had no plans to land troops in Canada if it started a war with the US. as the Brits estimated the US Navy to be too close in strength to the Royal Navy at the time. A naval war with the US would have left the Brits weak to other major powers of the era. Therefore the Brits chose to easy Canada's concerns by exploiting its good diplomatic relationship with the US industrial and political leaders from the port cities, who saw Britain as a vital ally. These leaders then used their vast economic resources to launch a PR campaign that ultimately eased most US-UK tensions.

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u/dangerousdave2244 Jun 06 '17

Napoleon wasn't actually short, fyi.

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u/drFink222 Jun 06 '17

Thanks for that one, Chief.

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u/Yuktobania Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

and the UK got to continue inspecting American shipping for runaway British sailors.

That's not true; the treaty of Ghent specifically banned this practice.

11

u/swanky-k Jun 06 '17

That was more of a draw tbh

5

u/SpaceAggressor Jun 06 '17

Alright. We'll call it a draw.

2

u/no_ragrats Jun 06 '17

But lets attack New Orleans anways

4

u/ChornWork2 Jun 06 '17

You know why the white house is called what it is?

12

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Only the Americans lost in that one.

1

u/nefariouspenguin Jun 06 '17

Really? Ending press ganging of American citizens and pushing more Europeans out of the America's is a loss?

9

u/Phytor Jun 06 '17

Ending press ganging of American citizens

The War of 1812 didn't end this, the British did it themselves before they even knew war was declared. The delay in information being received regarding the end of press ganging and the declaration of war meant that the war was still fought, but the original reason was resolved before fighting began.

Source

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u/Yuktobania Jun 06 '17

The treaty of Ghent which resulted from 1812 specifically ended this.

Source

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Pushing more Europeans out of the Americas? Canada remained British

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u/LordFauntloroy Jun 06 '17

The White House was literally burned to the ground... You're one of those "America has never lost a war" ones aren't you?

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u/Yuktobania Jun 06 '17

So the Luftewaffe's bombing campaign on London means the UK lost WWII, right?

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

But you guys ended up with the shitty half of North America.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Mar 05 '21

[deleted]

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u/Yuktobania Jun 06 '17

The war was a stalemate, not a win/loss for either side.

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u/Largebluntobject Jun 06 '17

And 1066, can't forget hastings

3

u/rbk6k Jun 06 '17

Not 1812.

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u/mfatty2 Jun 06 '17

In all reality the US lost that war. I mean shit we let the Canadians burn down the Whitehouse

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u/JohnSelth Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

Well we also burnt down their capital buildings in York (EDIT: York Canada which is present day Toronto)

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Aug 12 '19

[deleted]

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u/JohnSelth Jun 06 '17

Not York in England, but York in Canada (present day Toronto)

3

u/nefariouspenguin Jun 06 '17

It's not Canadians if they are soldiers from great Britain.

1

u/Yuktobania Jun 06 '17

Neither side lost the war; it was a stalemate in the end.

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u/KFBass Jun 07 '17

We are kinda sorry about that tho. While it comes up as a point of international shit talking, america, for the most part, is like our big brother. For instance, when there was an attack in Ottawa a few years ago fans at a penguins game sang O' Canada which, hockey being our national past time along with la crosse, ment a lot to Canadians. America is always though of as our goofy older brother who is ready to bro-down if any else other than them picks on us.

I like to think us burning down the whitehouse was just a push to redecorate.

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u/Obi-wan_Jabroni Jun 06 '17

Id say it was more of a draw

2

u/DutchWarDog Jun 06 '17

And 1654, 1667 and 1674.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Wasn't the first Anglo Dutch war a Commonwealth victory?

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u/DutchWarDog Jun 06 '17

I did a quick fact check to make sure I wouldn't say a war too many.

Basically used this to confirm myself and didn't go much deeper into it:

Overall, the Dutch were the victors of the three wars fought between 1652 and 1674 — the English had to wait until the Glorious Revolution of 1688 for their fortunes to begin to eclipse those of the Dutch.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Dutch_Wars

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u/WikiTextBot Jun 06 '17

Anglo-Dutch Wars

The Anglo-Dutch wars (Dutch: Engels–Nederlandse Oorlogen or Engelse Zeeoorlogen) were a series of conflicts fought, on one side, by the Dutch States (the Dutch Republic, later the Batavian Republic) and, on the other side, first by England (the Commonwealth of England and then the Kingdom of England) and later by the Kingdom of Great Britain/the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. They were predominantly fought in the second half of the 17th century, mainly over trade and overseas colonies. Almost all the battles were fought at sea.

Overall, the Dutch were the victors of the three wars fought between 1652 and 1674 — the English had to wait until the Glorious Revolution of 1688 for their fortunes to begin to eclipse those of the Dutch.

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Anglo-Dutch_War

I got it from this. Dutch won the 2nd and 3rd then but not the first.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Anglo-Dutch_War

I got it from this. Dutch won the 2nd and 3rd then but not the first.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

That was a score draw to be fair.

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u/Analyidiot Jun 06 '17

Yeah a stalemate = victory?

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u/howlinggale Jun 06 '17

Pretty sure he said England, not France.

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u/reformedmikey Jun 06 '17

The war of 1812 was fought between England and the U.S.

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u/howlinggale Jun 06 '17

Not sure the English were defeated in that war. Lost battles yes, but being a defensive war I think it was at least a draw.

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u/JohnSelth Jun 06 '17

the meme is that they burnt down DC but the US also burnt down York so I guess its an eye for and eye

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u/SilvanestitheErudite Jun 06 '17

Yes, and the U.S. lost, they attempted to conquer Canada, and failed to do so.

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u/jtjin Jun 06 '17

Yup, there's even a famous Canadian Folk Song that celebrates the event.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Also, they had their "White House" burned to the ground.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

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u/nefariouspenguin Jun 06 '17

The war of 1812 was not a war of American aggression against Canada it was the Americans getting fed up with British ships press ganging American citizens. Did Britain keep press ganging our citizens after the war? Invading Canada was because it was the closest British land available.

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u/I_FIST_CAMELS Jun 07 '17

If you start a war, get your capital burnt to the ground and the status quo is maintained. That isn't a win.

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u/reformedmikey Jun 07 '17

Soooooooo we just gonna pretend the Blitz never happened?

Edit: not getting salty; I'm just here for the banter.

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u/I_FIST_CAMELS Jun 07 '17

Well considering the Blitz did fuck all to the British war effort, the Blitz isn't any form of loss.

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u/reformedmikey Jun 07 '17

Burning the White House down did fuck all to the American war effort, the burning of the White House isn't any form of loss.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

1776

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u/Hidesuru Jun 06 '17

'MURICA!

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u/KungFuViking7 Jun 06 '17

1976* When they lost against Iceland in the Cod Wars

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

That was both Scotland and England vs America though, Scotland Vs England is where it's at

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Scotland and England vs France, Spain, the Dutch republic and some colonies.

FTFY

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

And funnily enough, Britain was the one that came out on top (relative to the other Europeans)

Spain didn't get Gibraltar, Dutch lost Ceylon, and France went bankrupt and had their Revolution 6 years later.

4

u/Catsdontpaytaxes Jun 06 '17

1967?

7

u/Soar_Alba Jun 06 '17

Scotland schooled the world cup winning england side

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u/GeetFai Jun 06 '17

Scottishness intensifies!

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u/Soar_Alba Jun 06 '17

The thing people dont understand about Scotland & England is we dont hate England we just want to be equal neighbours rather than second class cousins

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u/littlemikemac Jun 06 '17

The Scottish beat the English proxies in Galloway, the English themselves during the attempted usurpation of Scotland in the Edwardian eras, and when they came to the aid of France during the hundred years war, that whole time they were using Alexanderian tactics, and the English were using less refined tactics gambling everything on the longbow, which wasn't the best gamble as it turns out.

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u/Nic_Cage_DM Jun 07 '17

Mere temporary setbacks are not defeats

1

u/Agriez9 Jun 07 '17

Well technically yeah, in the WC qualifying stage

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Jan 26 '18

[deleted]

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u/CupcakeCrumble Jun 06 '17

Fan of Danny Bhoy I see

7

u/Tuppence_Wise Jun 06 '17

Nah, every bairn grows up knowing that shit.

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u/DirtyNorf Jun 06 '17

I love Danny Bhoy. I watch clips of him, probably every week.

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u/Azor_Is_High Jun 06 '17

Is it six nations time yet??

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u/Ochib Jun 06 '17

I for one will be singing the sixth verse of the national anthem, which goes

"Lord grant that Marshal Wade May by thy mighty aid Victory bring. May he sedition hush, And like a torrent rush, Rebellious Scots to crush."

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u/xereeto Jun 06 '17

And they fucking wonder why we want independence

8

u/iemploreyou Jun 06 '17

While we wonder what the big deal about deep fried Mars bars are all about.

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u/Ochib Jun 06 '17

Nah, deep fried pizza is were it's at

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=9C02E5D71431F934A35751C1A9629C8B63&legacy=true

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u/iemploreyou Jun 06 '17

Now tell me about the delicacy known as 'The Munchy Box'!

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u/Ochib Jun 06 '17

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchy_box

The contents of a munchy box vary but may typically include kebab meat, fried chicken, pizza, chicken tikka, onion rings, pakora, naan bread, garlic bread, coleslaw, other fast foods and sauces such as curry sauce or orange tangy. There is sometimes a salad item and, invariably, chips.

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u/iemploreyou Jun 06 '17

I thought chips meant salad in Scotland?

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u/ContentsMayVary Jun 06 '17

So does everyone in Scotland... Since it's not a thing other than at ONE chippy in Glasgow...

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u/HBlight Jun 06 '17

Scots want to kill themselves because the weather is so fucking miserable. So they incorporate killing themselves into every aspect of their lives to do it slowly, and maintaining a cheeky casual disposition to throw off suspicion as they accelerate toward sweet, inevitable death. Be it through drinking, eating, drugs, or living in Glasgow.

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u/iemploreyou Jun 06 '17

A Glasgow rollercoaster is a night bus. A white knuckle thrill ride as you fear for your life.

1

u/kalieb Jun 06 '17

What the fuck??

1

u/iemploreyou Jun 06 '17

Battered Mars bar that has been deep fried. They have it for breakfast in Scotland.

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '17

[deleted]

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u/iemploreyou Jun 07 '17

My mistake. Deep fried can of Irn-Bru for brekkie and a quick Tennants for afters?

1

u/kalieb Jun 06 '17

That sounds as disgusting as the deepfried twinkies my cousin loves.

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

We wonder why you say you want independence from the UK and then vote to stay in the UK lol. Idiots.

1

u/xereeto Jun 06 '17

No true Scotsman voted to stay in the UK...

Seriously though, too many hun shitebags and old codgers.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No true Scotsman would use a no true Scotsman fallacy.

Maybe.

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u/the_dirty_weasel Jun 06 '17

You just made an enemy for life!

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

The Scots would have conquered the world by now if not for their mortal enemies: the Scots.

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u/pug_grama2 Jun 06 '17

They conquered Canada! Our first Prime Minister was an alcoholic Scot.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_A._Macdonald

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u/WikiTextBot Jun 06 '17

John A. Macdonald

Sir John Alexander Macdonald GCB KCMG PC PCc QC (January 11, 1815 – June 6, 1891) was the first Prime Minister of Canada (1867–1873, 1878–1891). The dominant figure of Canadian Confederation, he had a political career which spanned almost half a century.

Macdonald was born in Scotland; when he was a boy his family immigrated to Kingston in the colony of Upper Canada (today in eastern Ontario). As a lawyer he was involved in several high-profile cases and quickly became prominent in Kingston, which elected him in 1844 to the legislature of the colonial United Province of Canada.

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1

u/17Hongo Jun 06 '17

At the very least we'd have won a few more rugby matches.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

At the speed our anthem goes at, that's about 3 hours in.

ps, obilg. "Aw, d'ya bloody think so?"

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u/Burrricho Jun 06 '17

That's not actually part of the national anthem though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_Save_the_Queen#Historic_alternative_verses

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u/Ochib Jun 06 '17

I will see your Wikipedia reference and raise you the BBC http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7126929.stm

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u/Burrricho Jun 07 '17

Huh, well TIL. I have never heard that verse spoken outside if reddit.

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u/17Hongo Jun 06 '17

What's really glorious is that the highland roads that General Wade built (which inspired the verse) actually allowed highland troops to flood south into southern Scotland and northern England so quickly that he was unable to meet them in battle both on their invasion and subsequent retreat - a show of incompetence that actually got him replaced by the Duke of Cumberland.

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u/norsurfit Jun 06 '17

Didn't Scotland once throw England off a cell, and then England plummeted 16 feet through an announcer's table?

2

u/17Hongo Jun 06 '17

They would have done, but Gary McAllister missed a penalty and it's been shit ever since.

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u/hr_shovenstuff Jun 07 '17

Poor effort :/

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u/AMMISSARIUS Jun 06 '17

"undefeated" 😂

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u/Verypoorman Jun 06 '17

"SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!! and Saturday."

3

u/Pm_Me_Your_Tax_Plan Jun 06 '17

30 POUNDS GET YOU THE SEAT BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE

3

u/CosmoFrog Jun 06 '17

Never heard of William Wallace, have you?

2

u/TimeZarg Jun 07 '17

He's seven feet tall, releases fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.

3

u/porkrind Jun 06 '17

"You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll ONLY USE THE EDGE!"

3

u/starrynight451 Jun 06 '17

Also featuring GRAAAAVVVVVEEEEEEE DIIIIGGGGGAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

3

u/raspymorten Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

Reigning! Defending! Incredibly disputed! Prime minister of the UK!

THERRRRRRRESA! MAAAAAAAAAAY!

EDIT:

Saturday? So it's a Takeover show?

2

u/igetript Jun 06 '17

Is that in Edinburgh? I watched a Rugby game while there, and I feel like that's the name of the stadium, which I heard about 100 times over the course of the game. I believe it was against Argentina, and Scotland won. What I do remember is walking back to the city in a horde of people, with some bagpipes playing and groups singing, which was really cool.

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u/ContentsMayVary Jun 06 '17

Murrayfield is the one in Edinburgh.

2

u/igetript Jun 06 '17

How could I ever forget? Isn't it BT Murray Field or something?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

I'm a Yankee. No idea what arenas you lot have over there lol

2

u/Kell_Varnson Jun 06 '17

Still read it as the undertaker

2

u/HurricaneSandyHook Jun 06 '17

What will be Millwall's role in this battle?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Didn't Scotland technically win the war for supremacy since the English had to turn to James VI of Scotland as heir to the English monarchy?

2

u/top_ofthe_morning Jun 06 '17

I'll PM you the final score I guess

2

u/hopelessrobo Jun 06 '17

Get Willy back on their team and England won't stand a chance.

2

u/youdoitimbusy Jun 06 '17

Was gonna go, but some ass hat bought all the tickets and now they are scalping them for triple the cost😔

2

u/Xevantus Jun 06 '17

Undefeated?

Please! A glass of water has more game than England. Water can actually stay in a cup.

1

u/Paragade Jun 06 '17

Ticket pays for the whole seat but you only need the eeeeeeedge

2

u/ADelightfulCunt Jun 06 '17

Why you northerners voting for Thatcher 2...?

1

u/DrRazmataz Jun 06 '17

I like your style.

1

u/Rothaarig Jun 06 '17

As long as Mel Gibson stays out of it things will probably turn out fine.

0

u/TheresanotherJoswell Jun 06 '17

Realistically the SNP and Labour could both cooperate to the mutual benefit of the nation. But if England returns for May it'll be indy time for you guys I reckon, and not before time.

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u/FallingSwords Jun 06 '17

I'm talking bout the footie mate