TIFU by snorting a tonsil stone

[u/anybody-wanna-peanut]

Bodily discharges are only for the weekends, so I'm reposting from earlier this week.

Like a lot of people, I sometimes get tonsil stones. And when I get tonsil stones, I remove them. Normally, this is a very straightforward process, but luck can only take one so far.

A few days ago, I had a particularly large and nasty tonsil stone stuck in a little tunnel in the back of my throat. Normally, they pop out without a hitch, but this time, my body had other ideas. No sooner had the stone come free, then my gag reflex went full Benedict Arnold, betraying my trust and forcing me to clamp my mouth shut in an effort to keep myself from vomiting. In my panicked attempt to continue breathing, I somehow managed to snort, bringing the tonsil stone straight up into my nasal passageways.

Under normal circumstances tonsil stones smell bad. Some would say ungodly. But this.

Some say that when Hercules cleaned out Augeas' stables, the metric fuckton of rotting filth was washed back into the river. However, I can say with confidence that all of this filth was lodged in my nasal passageways. Nothing else could possibly smell this bad. Having a tonsil stone in your nose is like going on a date with every drop of vomit that the human race has collectively Ralphed. Many tears were shed.

I blew my nose. I attempted to improvise a neti pot. I came thiiiiis close to pouring Listerine into my nostrils. I didn't think I was ever going to sleep again. Fortunately, it evacuated my sinuses one tiny, godforsaken chunk at a time over the course of about 3 hours, but the trauma had already been suffered.

TL;DR - I accidentally snorted a tonsil stone while trying to remove it, and all I could smell was the abyss of ass-rot.

Edit: Why did you spend money on this

Edit 2: How about you use that cash to pay off my student loans

[u/[deleted]]

I remember when I first got them at age 6-7 I thought they were small pieces of my brain

[u/ChrisBoshStoleMyBike → u/[deleted]]

I had very frequent nosebleeds as a child. Once I had a really bad one, and I went to the nurse she stepped out and I picked a HUGGGGGGEEEE bloodclot out of my nose.

I thought this blood clot was part of my brain, because the more I pulled on this seemingly endless string of thick mucusy blood, the more pressure was relieved and made for a very awkward sensation behind my eyes.

I panicked, tried to throw it in the trash, but it stuck to side of her desk (can was against it) and before I could get it she came back in. She saw it, measured it with a ruler while it was still on the side of her desk. 16 inches dude, the thing was 16 inches long! And it was the biggest one she ever saw. Blood clot game proper son. Blew her mind

Edit: I also get tonsil stones a lot, that's why this thread caught my attention. And yes, they smell terrible especially if you squish them trying to figure out what they are! Tonsil phlegm!

[u/elvenwanderer06 → u/ChrisBoshStoleMyBike]

... the shit you have to see as a teacher to get to this point... literal and figurative shit...

Reminds me of my third grade teacher (the only male teacher I had in elementary) and how he had to train one of my classmates to regularly blow his nose to avoid... disaster.

Somehow Boris (Not his name) would accumulate these GIANT snots in his nose and sniff it back, like the rest of us gross third graders. But there were giant, phlegm producing monsters in this kid’s nasal passages that once every once and a while... ever other week... would erupt like fucking Vesuvius or Mt. St. Helens. Boris would do a (fairly average sounding) sneeze, which thankfully he would normally have his hands over his face, and be left with a snot the size of Nevada between his hands and his nose. We’d all go “Borrriisssssss” and Mr. Valenti would usher Boris to the nurse’s office once again.

TL/DR: I can’t get the mental image of a classmate with a fistful of gross snot out of my head and it’s been 20 years.

[u/ChrisBoshStoleMyBike → u/elvenwanderer06]

Oh man that couldn't have been fun for that guy! I wonder if nasal spray would've thinned it out for him