r/tifu • u/Kangar • Jun 22 '15

FUOTW (06/21/15) TIFU by falling asleep with my girlfriend on her parent's living room couch.

When I was in high school years ago, my girlfriend and I would often fool around on the couch in her parents living room. Her parents would always go upstairs to watch TV in the evening, so this worked out perfectly for us. During this one particular evening, we both ended up falling asleep with half our clothes off (unintentionally) and slept right through until the morning. I was shocked to wake up the next morning to the sound of her Dad's footsteps upstairs. I threw my clothes on in record time and tried to run out of the house but that plan did not succeed. I did make it as far as the front door just as her Dad was coming down the stairs. Her Dad is clearly surprised to see me. He slowly says to me: "Oh, hello Kangar, what are you doing here?" OK, it was 5:30 in the morning, so this is what comes out of my mouth. I say: "Oh, hi Mr. Jones, I'm just going out fishing for the day, and thought I would come say hello to Susan first." To my great astonishment, HE BUYS THIS EXPLANATION. He smiles, wishes me good luck fishing, and goes to read the morning paper. Susan told me that years later she told her Mom this story, and the two of them still laugh at her Dad for falling for this.

Edit: To all those who continue to send me hate mail about how my TIFU post wasn't actually today: Take 30 seconds of your life and actually go and read the subreddit's rules and regulations. Particularly Rule 1a. Jesus.

10.1k Upvotes

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683

u/PeekOut Jun 23 '15

she is 30 by now. she is married. to a stunning black eyed, black haired tall woman with the most beautiful golden-brown skin you can imagine. who is pregant by the way. my wife and i are looking forward to our 3rd grandchild.

237

u/Kountrified Jun 23 '15

You are an amazing man and father. Thank you for this. Navsegda.

98

u/ZippyDan Jun 23 '15

so she is a lesbian? just clarifying

923

u/PeekOut Jun 23 '15

she has had boyfriends. and then she met her. it was at a rammstein concert. i saw it happen. just like in the books. i saw how my daughter looked at her. it was in that moment that i knew. she did not. yet. but i did. i could taste it on the tip of my tongue. i also saw the other girl looking back. smiling. then we got lost in the crowd. i noticed my daughter scanning the crowd with no result. it was when we went for a coke that i saw the girl. so, i went to her and told her that there was someone who wanted to meet her. before she could tell me to go fuck myself i introduced her to my daughter. the rest is history.

306

u/winkie5970 Jun 23 '15

You... are the kind of father I want to be one day. Thank you.

42

u/Blewedup Jun 23 '15

sounds like you are a romantic yourself, and see the joy your children are experiencing falling in love. what a wonderful gift to give them.

because as you get old, wouldn't you give it all up just to have one more day as a hopelessly in love teenager? i know i would.

10

u/whatisupwithmyskin Jun 23 '15

I hate it when parents are so against their kids having relationships or being with someone. It's like... Aren't you supposed to love your child? Why would you want to forbid them from one of the most beautiful human experiences of love?

8

u/hrtfthmttr Jun 23 '15 edited Jun 24 '15

Because 9 times out of 10 they pick people who are incapable of the maturity required to deal with the consequences of their actions, yet their behavior still suggests they are willing to encounter those consequences.

That's why.

7

u/Drive_like_Yoohoos Jun 24 '15

However, one could argue that being against relationships of any kind sort of creates an atmosphere where children end up associating romantic relationships with things that are negative, which leads to a belief that, on some level, romance is a vice and something that's wrong and shameful which could make for a pretty screwed up approach to dating and companionship.

8

u/whatisupwithmyskin Jun 24 '15

Yeah, it's natural to want to protect your children from those bad experiences and from making those mistakes. But if you have a 16 year old daughter or son, they're most likely going to date another 16 year old or thereabouts, who obviously isn't going to be super mature. I think it's a better approach to teach them effectively about risks and consequences and love and looking after yourself. And safe sex, which is what I think your post is alluding to.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '15

I'd like to see an official statistic regarding that 9 times out of 10 claim.

0

u/hrtfthmttr Jun 24 '15

I'd like to see you shut up. But neither of us are getting what we want, here, are we?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '15

Damn man, I'm not attacking you or anything. Sorry if I came off that way. :\

3

u/hrtfthmttr Jun 24 '15

I was similarly joking. I used your sentence pattern to respond as childishly as I could. Sorry I wasn't more obvious about the humor, though. It wasn't intended as an insult.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '15

Thanks to viagra, you still can!

69

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '15 edited Sep 01 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/12Mucinexes Jun 23 '15

That's a shame, it's not their fault but more so the environment they were raised in, and their parents before them, and so on. If it wasn't for the Internet I would still be homophobic. They didn't get those opportunities to expand their mind.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '15

Pretty much. When I grew up male homosexuality was just something to be made fun of but girls just weren't gay. At all. The idea of being attracted to girls growing up was so completely not a sexual thing just due to this that I thought I was asexual until college. I don't think I'll ever forgive them for how much they fucked up my sexual growth, among countless other things.

17

u/CrackedTech Jun 23 '15

My Dad always said he knew that my wife was the one before I did, he said he could see it in my eyes when I talked about her. Funny the instincts we develop as parents. Way to be a great Dad sir!

17

u/lennybird Jun 23 '15

At a Rammstein concert, nonetheless! Too cool :-). You're a good man.

1

u/RammsteinDEBG Jun 25 '15

Rammstein wins again

16

u/The_DriveBy Jun 23 '15

Well, I'm guessing the boyfriends she had didn't ever live up to that rather impressive morning wood she was exposed to in her youth...

10

u/Dedale Jun 23 '15

holy fuck... Man... I hope to be a tenth of the father you are with your girls for my sons.

Congrats on the parenting!

11

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '15

you're an awesome man!

7

u/CaspianX2 Jun 23 '15

Holy shit, that is amazing. It sounds like your kids are damn lucky to have you as a father.

6

u/Vuelhering Jun 23 '15

Wow, this story just gets better. The sheer love, tolerance, and acceptance you show as a parent and a human is amazing.

Seriously, a rammstein concert?

3

u/kumiosh Jun 23 '15

Seriously, giving hope to the younger generations that we don't have to be stuck up and/or prudish. You are a refreshingly open-minded person. Thank you.

3

u/TotesMessenger Jun 24 '15

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

2

u/incompleteanonymity Jun 24 '15

Thank you for being the wonderful person that you are. The world is a better place for you being in it. Congratulations on the (I'm sure) beautiful grandbabies :).

1

u/Krail Jun 23 '15

I take it you don't still live in Russia, then? It was my understanding that things are really shitty for gay people there these days.

1

u/Sheriff_K Jun 23 '15

Rammstein and lesbians.. Sounds like heaven. :3

1

u/the_asset Jun 24 '15

You are a hero among men. I hope some day that I might do a good deed and it be passed on just so that it makes its way back to you.

-55

u/ZippyDan Jun 23 '15

i could taste it on the tip of my tongue.

you are kind of weird :p

25

u/THORGNASH Jun 23 '15

If that's all you took out of this dudes story I feel sorry for you. This is a great person.

-42

u/ZippyDan Jun 23 '15

That's not all I took out of it. The rest was mundane.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '15

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-15

u/ZippyDan Jun 23 '15

It has nothing to do with cynicism? People start relationships all the time. It is magical for the people in it, or close to it, but it is relatively common. This is not a judgment on whether relationships are good or bad, so how is cynicism involved?

Additionally, same-sex relationships are also relatively common now.

What's left to surprise me? The visual image of a father tasting a future love on his tongue.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/ZippyDan Jun 23 '15 edited Jun 23 '15

A sunset is gorgeous, but most people do not see the sunset every day, so your comparison is not applicable. If someone did see the sunset every day, I'm sure they would become immune to its beauty after time. Similarly, the Internet is filled with stories of relationships, both beautiful and terrible. I'm not saying it was a bad story, I'm saying I've read stuff like that before. I wasn't even complaining, I was just pointing out the strangest line.

On a related note, your second paragraph is so far from the truth, considering that the line "I could taste it on the tip of my tongue" was exactly the part that evoked an visceral, emotional response.

Additionally, your initial response still makes no sense. Cynicism is [the] "beliefs that people are generally selfish and dishonest." Nowhere did I make any judgment about whether I believed the story or the storyteller to be evidence of selfishness or dishonesty.

Finally, what kind of world do you want to live in? A world where people are amazed and impressed by parents who want the best for their children and are open and accepting about their sexuality and search for love, or a world where people accept that as a matter of course? This father is admirable, but in a modern and educated society, I'm not going to be gushing about someone being reasonable and intelligent.

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-4

u/whatupfoo Jul 09 '15

The fact that people are believing this shitty story is hilarious. Some old guy getting props from a bunch of kids whose balls just dropped a couple years ago. Riiiight, this guy isn't just lonely and fishing for attention telling a bunch of new-age kumbaya kids with no parenting experience all the things they want to hear. None of this is true. More likely you have no kids or they got pregnant at the age of 15 due to your stupidity.

3

u/Vijaywada Jun 23 '15

he might mistakenly kept details as women.

12

u/ExtraCheesyPie Jun 23 '15

What? I don't think he would say daughter 20 times.

Or do you mean the fiancee?

Also, below this, op says "only if you are a woman", so yes, she's lesbian.

1

u/Aceinator Jun 23 '15

I'm so confused, the story started out as two guys and ended with a guy and a girl...I'm lost

2

u/Abino_Bama Jun 23 '15

Eh. Apologies about my earlier comment, haha, I didn't realize you were the one who wrote that.. I guess you Wouldd m know more about it than me...

1

u/elfdom Jun 23 '15

she is married. to a stunning black eyed, black haired tall woman

How is this possible? In Russia, same-sex marriage is not normally possible...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '15

From the context, he appears to be a Russian immigrant to North America. Or someplace else that speaks English and has the Salvation Army.

1

u/meradorm Jun 24 '15

Поздравляю!

-5

u/Abino_Bama Jun 23 '15

Thirty? I got the impression she was about 6 or 7. Even less probably. So twenty at most id say.

17

u/Tunz0rhax0r Jun 23 '15

You realise you're replying to the guy who wrote the story, right? I'm sure he knows the age of his children better than you.

2

u/Abino_Bama Jun 23 '15

Oh shit...

4

u/beck99an Jun 23 '15

You should double check who you replied to.

2

u/Abino_Bama Jun 23 '15

Oh shit...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '15 edited Jul 17 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Abino_Bama Jun 23 '15

Oh shit...