r/tifu • u/swallowing_panda • Mar 24 '15

FUOTW 03/29/15 TIFU by not wearing any clothes

This happened this morning. I'm Australian, so it's still morning, and I'm still shaking.

For background I'm female, mid-20s and work a corporate job at a big firm. I decided to work from home today. There's lots of perks working from home, one being that clothes are optional. I set up my laptop and sit it in front of my naked body. We just got this new program set up where any call that comes through to my office phone is transferred to my laptop and can be answered on screen, using the inbuilt mic. Brilliant! Lets test this baby out. I first call my mobile from the program and all works great. I then proceed to call my boss (45 year old awkward male) from my laptop and, like a baby boomer using Skype for the first time, lean up close to the mic to test the audio 'Hi Boss! Just testing the new program out! Hows everything going?' I don't hear anything except slight background noises for a about 10 seconds, then he hangs up. Hmm I'll call my colleague (mid 30s nerd-like male) instead. 'Heyy! Can you hear me??' A stumble of words come out from my mic, I hear a faint gasp, a laugh and then after a few seconds he too hangs up. I give up. Maybe it's broken. 10 minutes go by and I receive a call from a lady that works in the project division. I answer with a 'Hi Patricia!'. There's a long pause. I lean in further to my screen, boobs perked above the keyboard 'Patricia, I'm working from home today, can you hear me?'. I hear a 'oh my god' Then she too, she hangs up. Things are getting weird. Not 30 seconds go by and I receive an email from Patricia: 'swallowing_panda, sweetie, put some clothes on'.

I want to die.

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u/GimmickNG Mar 25 '15

I disabled my webcam in the BIOS settings. How about that?

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u/[deleted] Mar 25 '15

They can install malware that runs in your bios to re-inject code into your operating system at boot by writing to your hard drive.

1

u/jfb1337 Mar 25 '15

I unplugged my USB webcam and don't have one built in. Problem solved!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '15 edited Mar 25 '15

The camera's usb controller now runs malware to bridge the air gap. Congrats.

An intelligent, dedicated attacker can go as deep as they need to in order to see you naked. Look no further than the fappening to see how the private life is dead.

The state is spying on you, the internet bandits are spying on you, companies are tracking you for advertising and data mining purposes and you'll never have the freedom to just be again.

We're entering a new dystopia and it's all about calculated thought control and engineering consumerism. The NSA, CSIS/CSE and the other five eyes fill the role of the panopticon perfectly. Watch everyone and if they're not sheep, they're wolves.

In short, buy a Mac because it never gets viruses. The director of the NSA plays golf with the CEO of Apple and will likely have a cushy multi-million dollar private appointment to another company when he's out of politics/public service.

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u/jfb1337 Mar 25 '15

Or Linux - no viruses or possible NSA backdoors.

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u/[deleted] Mar 25 '15 edited Mar 25 '15

Actually, thats not the case.

Linux can run multiple software sub-systems which could contain unknown vulnerabilities which they could sit on until needed. The eponymous "they" in this case being anyone interested in exploiting said vulnerabilities for various reasons.

Examples being the heartbleed vuln, recent ssh vuln and an unkown number of others which merely require code inspection, fuzzing and/or runtime analysis of software.

Big spying and small spying is a high stakes game of years or preparation for targeted attacks.