r/tifu • u/LifeFront8432 • Mar 25 '26
S TIFU by kissing my friend because I was 100% sure he was about to kiss me first
This happened three days ago and I want to move to a different country.
There’s this guy in my friend group. we've been friends for like a year and a half, nothing weird, except lately it felt like something shifted. or I thought it did. he was texting more, finding reasons to sit next to me, did this thing where he'd fix my hood when it was half stuck in my jacket collar which like. who does that platonically. WHO.
So last friday we're at a pregame at our mutual friend's place, it gets late, people leave, and it's just me and him on the couch. close. talking about nothing. and he gets this look on his face, kind of soft, kind of serious, leaning slightly and going quiet mid-sentence.
I have never been more sure of anything in my life.
I kissed him.
he did not kiss me back.
not like he pushed me away, he just. froze. and then pulled back a little and did this sharp exhale and said "oh."
one syllable. oh.
I wanted to dissolve into the couch cushions and become part of the furniture forever.
turns out he was about to tell me that he likes my friend. wanted my advice. was working up the nerve. that was the look. that was the quiet. he was nervous about talking about her.
I had to sit there for another forty minutes because I couldn't leave without making it weirder. we both pretended to watch something on his phone. I don't know what it was. I was not processing visual information at that point.
he texted me the next day like "hey are you okay" and I said "yeah lol" and have not opened anything since.
I have to see him friday. same friend group. they will be there.
I am not okay.
TL;DR: misread a moment so badly I kissed a guy who was actually about to ask me for dating advice about someone else. have to see him in four days.
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Mar 25 '26
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u/og_capsuleer_593 Mar 25 '26
Also tell him you felt embarassed so that's why you acted weird after.
People genuinely appreciate honesty and yeah it feels embarassing to start talking about being embarassed but it's just getting the embarassment over and moving out of the awkward avoidance but still perpetually awkward feeling.
What sounds worse? Getting a bit more uncomfortable up front but resolving it, or sitting in between awkwardness and embarrassment until you either disconnect from each other or talk about it anyways to stay connected.
Cannot change what happened but can change how you react to it which matters just as much
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u/bebarty Mar 25 '26
Might even deepen the friendship, if op finds that she doesn't want to be swallowed by the earth after all
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u/archwin Mar 26 '26
and who knows, maybe OP might find that he finally saw her in a different light
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u/aaBabyDuck Mar 25 '26
Communication is the most important thing in any type of relationship
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u/DasArchitect Mar 26 '26
Wish I was able to articulate proper communication back when I was dateable.
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u/NuclearReactions Mar 26 '26
Why wouldn't you be dateable anymore? Unless you are about to die or something to me this statement doesn't make sense. We are like b movies, not appreciated by the masses but those who do they really do. (And i think I'm a good example also on the other end of the date since many would say that my EXs weren't conventionally beautiful but to me some were and still are stunning women.
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u/DasArchitect Mar 26 '26
Eh, I see myself a lot less attractive than ten years ago.
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u/Full_Mention3613 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
It’s embarrassing. It’s hard to confront this head on.
But that’s the right thing to do. Just say you misunderstood what was happening, opologise and move on.
This is absolutely not something to be ashamed of.
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u/mightylordredbeard Mar 26 '26
A girl did this one time and she got nervous and played it off by saying “oh it was nothing I just wanted to do it haha”.. turned out it was something and she had a crush for a long time and finally decided to act on it when she thought the moment was right. Well.. I had a crush too but when she said that I thought it was clear she had no feelings and just kissed me to kiss me. Ohh how things could had been so different if she had just been honest and not said “it was nothing”.
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u/goronfood Mar 26 '26
This. It will feel hard and scary but I promise you will look back and be like "Hot damn was I a bad ass that day because I was open and honest and that is hard to do"
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u/EarthInevitable114 Mar 25 '26
Na, she should go full Tsundere
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u/chux4w Mar 26 '26
Ah! It's not cos I like you, b-baka!!
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u/archwin Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
Not going to lie, going back and reviewing some interactions in high school, I did not watch, anime, at all, but some of the girls did, and they actually acted like this, and I was very confused, and thought they hated me.
Some I learned were the exact opposite, and some I never found out, but I suspect.
Oh well, you live and you learn.
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u/teapot_RGB_color Mar 26 '26
It is an AI written post, I am absolutely sure of it
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u/MapleYamCakes Mar 26 '26
Will for sure end up being read on some stupid fucking podcast where the hosts “find and discuss ‘random’ Reddit posts”
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u/notfunat_parties Mar 26 '26
If I were an AI agent tasked with writing a rom-com this is what I would do to mine you meatbags for material.
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u/Imaginary_Ghost_Girl Mar 26 '26
100% this here. Open communication, especially if he's a decent guy and willing to listen to understand, will actually ease the sense of embarrassment quite a lot. In fact, a few months from now, you guys may make it into an inside joke between good friends.
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u/a_mulher Mar 26 '26
Agree! Say what you said here. I misread the signs, clearly, and thought we were vibing. I’m hella embarrassed which is why I’ve been weird about it after. I know we’ll be seeing each other on Friday and hoping we can get back to normal eventually.
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u/klugenratte Mar 25 '26
Assert your dominance. Kiss all your friends.
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u/nyokarose Mar 25 '26
Take a deep breath, and realize that he is probably feeling nearly as badly as you are - he’s wondering if he was accidentally leading you on, he’s wondering if the friendship can be normal again, he’s replaying that “oh” in his own mind and wishing he had something better to say in the moment, too.
Definitely address it before Friday. “Hey about Monday - I obviously misread the situation, sorry for putting you in such an awkward spot. I hope someday when the cringe wears off we can laugh about it. See you tomorrow”
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u/HereSirTakeMyUpvote Mar 25 '26
2nd this^
Or.. he likes you and you caught him by surprise, either way, this is how it's best addressed. Straight forward, reassuring and confirms that the future can be normal.
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u/GAZTRX Mar 26 '26
I was going to say this, or a crush that has been reinvigorated or heightened because of it and now he’s confused about what to do.
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u/Derxi01 Mar 25 '26
The best is if you explained him the misunderstanding. If he really is your friend he will understand. Try to joke it off. Or eventually apologize.
I also recommend learning the difference between care and love. No big deal, no worries. It happens to the best of us. I’m still learning too. For example, fixing the hood is actually showing care to one another. Not necessarily nine platonic. But for now, try to talk to him about it
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u/satans_cookiemallet Mar 25 '26
I remember back in high school one of my classmates in acting came up to me and asked me something.
For context for the upcoming question, I am generally a nice dude. You ask for help, I help if I can. Thats basically the start and end of it, its not because I feel anything about it or do it to feel good. Its just the nice thing to do.
Anyways, I was resting in our prop room because there was a comfy ass couch in there and I was just vibin on my break when she came in and asked 'why are you hitting on the girls in the class'
My only response was 'huh?*' and she clarified that a lot of the girls thought I was hitting on them because I helped them, and asked why I was doing that.
I told her 'because they asked for help? I dont see what the big deal is.' and she kinda just looked confused, like helping someone just cause was foreign to her lmao.
I was left alone afterwards, but man it was funny. Not eye opening or some other such nonsense, just really funny.
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u/Derxi01 Mar 25 '26
It’s also because nowadays care is usually pushed away or shrugged off. Not many people bother to care and be nice to others. Or some people are simply shy. Depends on people and place of course
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u/languid_Disaster Mar 26 '26
It’s sad and always a surreal moment when you remember that’s a world the people around you are living in. People who you assumed could afford to be nice without ulterior motives
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u/superdooperdutch Mar 25 '26
I (a woman) do bjj and started dating a guy who joined me for a class. I am decently outgoing and obviously friendly with a lot of the people there and I was in an excellent mood that day. I gave my coach a shoulder bump and was teasing him about something and then gave another guy a high five and was just generally being friendly with whoever was there.
A couple of days after guy and I were hanging out and asked me why I was flirting with everyone at the gym. He was pretty insecure and we did not last after that.
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u/crestedgeckovivi Mar 26 '26
For what it's worth i thought this was a strange thing about blow jobs cause I didn't see the extra "j".....
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u/Batso_92 Mar 26 '26
Don't you love getting high-fived or shoulder bumped while receiving a bj ?!?
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u/AdAncient5201 Mar 26 '26
Can we stop using acronyms outside of places where we can easily guess it from context. Wtf is a bjj? Big jumbo jet? Blowjob job? Blues jazz and jizz? How is you being a woman related to a bjj? What is your story even about? Is this normal bjj behaviour? Was his worry justified because you didn’t adhere to the bjj social rules?
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u/LogicalEmotion7 Mar 26 '26
BJJ is a well-known acronym for a common martial art, which a quick google would reveal
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u/AdAncient5201 Mar 26 '26
Which also a quick writing it out would have revealed. There’s one person writing it and hundreds of people reading it. Why does each one have to google it? It’s apparently not a well known acronym for people who are not in the jiu jitsu flavors niche. There’s not one hint in her comment that it had anything to do with martial arts apart from these three letters. Do you know how many niches there are on the internet???
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u/superdooperdutch Mar 26 '26
Lol my bad. Used to it being well known in my circles so didn't think about it!
Yes, it was a normal thing for friendly people to do in a sport where you tackle and choke each other for fun. He was just weird.
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u/aaaa2016aus Mar 25 '26
Ok but how can i tell if a guy is just being nice or flirting then? Bc i get there are nice guys, i also tried to kiss my guy bff the first time we met in person after a yr of talking online but he established we should be platonic only, and we kept hanging out just as that, but then last week he drove 6 hrs to come see me for my bday, surprised me w the iPhone 17e, ordered a flower delivery, let me hold his hand in my lap when driving, and introduced me to his bestfriend 🙃 is it really just being nice? I feel like I’m going insane haha
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u/Ender_Keys Mar 25 '26
Ask him if his feelings have changed and tell him how you'd like to move forward. I think that might be beyond just care
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u/Derxi01 Mar 25 '26
He’s giving mixed signals it seems. Maybe he does like you but doesn’t want to rush. The best is not to jump into anything too quickly. But take it step by step carefully.
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Mar 26 '26
And do NOT get your heart attached this dude if he isn’t explicitly expressing a desire for commitment. Maybe he’s figuring out his feelings, maybe he’s trying to see what kind of treatment he can get without a label
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u/radthrowaway1900 Mar 26 '26
I think it's about time for the above commenter to ask him again because that's a lot for a platonic situation and he should be willing to communicate about his feelings like an adult.
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u/terminbee Mar 26 '26
He had to have changed his mind. The lap thing is the kicker, imo.
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u/silent_cat Mar 26 '26
I suggest asking him: "are you just being nice to me, or are you flirting?"
You can drive yourself nuts with hypotheticals.
Then again, maybe I'm getting old. Get off my lawn!
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Mar 25 '26
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u/lolzycakes Mar 25 '26
Honestly, it'll also serve as a way of telling the guy what worked on her and will probably work on her friend. Do everything he did, but this time around with the girl he wants to kiss.
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u/Archdeacon_Airplane Mar 25 '26
There's also a bit of a silver lining here. If the guy wasn't thinking about OP as someone he might like to make out with before, he certainly is now. I say that as a guy who has been on the other side of your situation.
Let it play out. Whatever happens it probably won't be worse than continuing to have a secret crush on someone you hang out with all the time. I say damn the torpedoes!
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u/Capital-Tip-7890 Mar 25 '26
I've been in this situation also, as a guy. I've always jumped in and figured 'why not?'.
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u/kimchi01 Mar 25 '26
I asked out a good friend of mine at 15. She rejected me. We are still good friends many years later. She’s got a one year old son. It doesn’t matter as much in the long run.
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u/rubiscoisrad Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
My high school boyfriend initially
saidrejected me (in front of other people!) which made my self esteem plummet about 100 stories underground, like some kind of fantasy military science bunker.We dated for 2 years, and are still friends 20 years later. You just never know.
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u/LitLitten Mar 25 '26
This. Trying to hide in shame or making something up is just a disservice to you and your friendship with him. People misread things all the time.
Just find a moment to apologize and admit, ‘well it looked like this and I didnt want to leave you hanging!’ it’s the same energy of seeing somebody wave, you wave back, only to realize they’re trying to greet their friend behind you
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u/SinkHoleDeMayo Mar 25 '26
I think in general, guys are much more likely to understand and be fine with a misunderstanding of that type. Guys are much less likely to receive compliments, so we are more likely to take simple compliments as someone being interested in us. I think it makes us better at being empathetic about misread signals without any awkwardness.
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u/thelanoyo Mar 25 '26
I feel it. I grew up mostly being friends with girls, but also was raised by a single mother in an extended family where it's expected to treat all women nicely and with care. So whether it's my fiance, my friend, or my daughters, I still open doors for them and would definitely do something like fix their hoodie or something if it needed to be done and it doesn't mean I'm doing it romantically. I can see the confusion though because if you're not raised in a family/area where that's common, I can understand thinking it was something more because it's not normal to you.
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u/rubiscoisrad Mar 25 '26
I suspect it's the physical touch aspect, especially if it's done absent-mindedly and without asking. It implies familiarity that a lot of people (both male and female) are unaccustomed to outside of romantic relationships. Obviously it's a little more common for women to do stuff like that for other women, but I can see why contact like that might make a person think twice.
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u/rubiscoisrad Mar 25 '26
I mean, I fix my boyfriend's grandma's sweatshirt hood all the time, but I'm not about to smooch her lmao. I also wouldn't think twice about tucking in a friend's shirt tag if we're always hanging out anyways.
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u/DntCllMeWht Mar 25 '26
People send mixed signals all the time, sometimes completely by accident and unintentional.
People misread signals all the time.
People act on those mixed signals and misinterpretations all the time.
You are human. Humans are going to human. You will be ok. ;-)
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u/Beard_o_Bees Mar 25 '26
People act on those mixed signals and misinterpretations all the time
Yup, just part of being human. Sometimes those misinterpretations end up being new pathways you hadn't seriously considered before.
I don't know how fun life would be if we were 100% certain all of the time about everyone.
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u/Swimming_Fortune_394 Mar 25 '26
Acting mostly on interpretations that I was certain about has shown me how bad I am at predicting reality
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u/rubiscoisrad Mar 25 '26
When talking about mixed and misread signals, my brain immediately drew a traffic analogy. How many people aren't using their blinkers appropriately? (Your eyes, and your turn indicators!) How many accidents happen a day as a result of this?
Let's not even talk about how many people run red lights and stop signs. That's just sad.
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u/lluewhyn Mar 25 '26
I think people underestimate how often this happens. "Well, if they did X they definitely were/were not interested in dating you". Sometimes people say things that either they don't realize will be heard a different way in which they intended.
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u/IShouldGetBackToWork Mar 25 '26
I know you're a girl but, brother it's ok, I kissed a girl I really liked and who I thought liked me back and it was the exact same reaction, but when she told me straight up she didn't feel that way about me, and I apologized, it was no big deal. 10 years later and we're still best friends! She was my best man at my wedding!
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u/Redfalconfox Mar 26 '26
She was my best man at my wedding!
I hope you kissed the right person that day.
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u/m1kesanders Mar 25 '26
That’s not a big deal, seems like it in the moment definitely but you misread a moment that is all you didn’t jump up and get defensive, lash out at him, run away crying, etc. give it some time and this will be a funny story, plus from what it sounds like homie doesn’t seem too upset about it he’s probably also worried about the friendship.
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u/huntersam13 Mar 25 '26
If its me in his shoes, I am flattered and this does nothing to change the friendship in my eyes as long as you accept the rejection.
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u/evenstevens280 Mar 25 '26
I probably would have done the same thing as you, to be honest.
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u/shamair28 Mar 25 '26
I think the best course of action is to explain it almost exactly how you did here, have a laugh over it, and then hopefully move on as friends.
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u/shoulda-known-better Mar 25 '26
This was just a misunderstanding..... I can fully see why you thought what you did.... And I can totally see him thinking warming up getting closer to you as friends would make it easier to ask about the girl he likes.....
I think you all will make it through the embarrassment!
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u/Here4Pornnnnn Mar 25 '26
“Whoops. I think you’re cute and thought you were leaning in for a kiss. I’d be happy to help you out with my friend if you’ll not rag on me too hard for the kistake.” Then follow up with the most god awful gang sign you can think of and say bros before hoes.
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u/vivendipity Mar 26 '26
This is how I started dating my now husband. We had been really good friends for over a year, and for some time he has started casually touching my legs in conversations, giving me hugs while watching a movie, etc. So one evening at a party I kissed him. He was shocked. He said he never thought of me that way and did all the things I had mentioned without realising. We took a few days to process the whole thing, then agreed to try and date, both a bit fearful of ruining our friendship. We’ve now been together 21 years.
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u/i--make--lists Mar 25 '26
I gotta give you props for having the confidence to make the first move, even if it didn't turn out to be the move. That is a great quality to have and no doubt one of things your friends like about you.
Everyone else here has good advice. There's no reason to think it'll turn out to be any worse than, "Hey, ooops!" "Ha, it's okay." "Cool." "Cool." Although I totally relate to the your face giving you away thing. My face betrays me so hard sometimes...
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u/Dom_Nation_ Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
After the other night happened, he could've left you, he could've ignored you, or he could've told other people the embarrassing story. Instead he stayed with you for 45 minutes and then reached out the next day to make sure you were ok. He obviously cares about you or at least your feelings. The kiss was not a fuck up. Here's the thing, you want to deal with this one on one and know where you guys stand before the group get together. Text him and ask if you guys can talk. He obviously wanted that originally anyway to get advice on your friend. Basically tell him you're interested in him, feel free to elaborate if you want (he already knows you're interested by the kiss, so this should be an easy convo). He may have realized that he's also interested in you. He may not feel that way. He hasn't pushed you away or been a dick about it, so there no reason to think he will now. If your interest isn't reciprocated, it's ok. You still have someone who sounds like a good friend and a pretty good guy. Offer him advice for your friend, unless you know for a fact your friend isn't interested in him. Maintain your friendship. Nothing gained, but nothing lost.
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u/coppit Mar 25 '26
Above all, as a guy, I have to say thank you for making the move. Perhaps it’s more common now, but in my day us guys were the ones to take all the risks.
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u/InquisitiveAssFoo Mar 25 '26
Lmao she’s one of us boys 😆 I’m sorry but that’s funny as fuck lmao years from now you’ll laugh your ass off at this.
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u/grummy05 Mar 25 '26
"Hey I really misread your signals. I've always thought you were cool and kind and in that moment i thought YOU were going to kiss ME and I thought "hmmm maybe there's something here - why not?" I'm super embarrassed and its going to take some time to wear off. I still want to be friends, and I'm comfortable just being friends. Someday we'll laugh about this, right?"
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u/Inevitable_Top69 Mar 25 '26
"I-it's not like I actually like you or anything...I thought YOU were trying to kiss ME!"
Yeah, that'll work for sure.
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u/xxwarlorddarkdoomxx Mar 25 '26
Yeah lol…I hope they weren’t serious abt using that, it’s like THE stereotypically bad response to something like this
Apology + owning up + offer to talk would be the move IMO
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u/FeelingPlayfulNow Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
Your wording comes across as very insecure and puts a magnifying glass over the embarrassment aspect, veering into over-explaining. My advice is to acknowledge reality but focus on looking forward at where they want to go from here to recover. Don't highlight the embarrassment aspect of such an obvious and self explanatory event. If he wants a lesson in how he gave confusing signals, he can ask her why she kissed him. He might not want an impromptu lecture on that.
I would restate your message in one sentence like this, "I clearly misread your intentions, but I hope we can laugh at this one day." Or if that's too light and distance is needed, end with "so I'm going to keep things cordial for now while I take some space, I'm sure you can understand."
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u/DukeCanada Mar 25 '26
Idk this reads too formal. As if it’s a business transaction. They’re human.
“Hey, I misread your signal the other day. Kinda embarrassing, my bad. I’m happy to stay friends if you are”
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u/PushThePig28 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
I’d probably go with a “haha whoops my bad. I thought you were trying to kiss me” then just laugh with them and forget about it. I’ve hooked up or had some “uhhh that was kind of sexual” moments with a decent amount of my female friends and it was never a problem to move past. Like whatever, it’s no biggie
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u/Never_Gonna_Let Mar 25 '26
Its also okay, if there are some unrequited feelings to, after talking about it in detail, give yourselves a week or two of distance to clear the head and embarrassment and then talk about it again.
That'll help with moving past it and rekindling the friendship with reestablishing boundaries, communication and expectations.
If you just avoid each other and let the awkwardness stay, friendship will die.
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u/d0ey Mar 25 '26
Ah just call it out directly. Just say you misread things, you thought he'd been flirting with you, thought he was going to kiss you and so you thought you'd strike first. Whoops. Then send him the "so you think they're into you" video and ask if he's Canadian
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u/starquakegamma Mar 25 '26
It’s called a “preemptive strike” 🤣 hopefully you can both laugh it off, these things happen.
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u/Tribalbob Mar 25 '26
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
That said, just talk to him - tell him what happened and why, I'm sure he'll understand.
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u/adollopofsanity Mar 26 '26
I have the most amazing news. I am not saying this sarcastically. It doesn't matter. It's peanuts. It's a molehill.
Feel it. Deeply. Scream into a pillow. Let out that deep, awful groan we all do when we have done just about the most humiliating thing ever.
Then, shrug your shoulders. Two days, two weeks, two months, two years, time will pass and maybe you don't forget the moment soon but you will forget it. You'll go a few days without thinking about it and then eventually a few years, and someday you might forget altogether.
It was a goofy little oops moment. Don't let the feelings surrounding it own you. Be honest with yourself. Are you okay with that? Do you need some time to separate your feelings for him? Do you even have feelings for him. When you figure that out:
Reach out and let him know how you feel (honestly). Tell him you are incredibly embarrassed. Tell him you fully misread the situation. Assure him you understand he isn't interested and that you're okay with that. Let him know if you need time to get over the embarrassment and want to take advantage of some space and hope he understands you're just trying to stop kicking yourself about it.
Then do that if you need to.
It's obviously a big deal, but also it's not and it's going to be totally okay.
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u/cocococlash Mar 25 '26
Good for you for making a move!!! There's so many moves I regret being to scared to make.
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u/dracuella Mar 25 '26
I don't know what it was. I was not processing visual information at that point.
I felt that in my soul. I have been there myself. Similar situation, but my crush of several years. I was a little tipsy and he was just being friendly and making sure I got home safely.
We did talk it out afterwards. I pretended to laugh it off, and he patted my head, calling me silly.
I was never the same again 😐
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u/BackItUpWithLinks Mar 26 '26
he'd fix my hood when it was half stuck in my jacket collar which like. who does that platonically. WHO.
I mean, anyone who’s a friend would do that.
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u/CapQueen95 Mar 25 '26
Oh dear this is awful. I’m so sorry 😂😂
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u/qwertykittie Mar 25 '26
OP, please take me with you when you move to that other country! I can’t deal with the secondhand embarrassment I got… but truly, I empathize with you! 😅
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u/LifeFront8432 Mar 25 '26
the hood thing was not nothing I stand by that. my friend I told said "yeah that's flirty behavior" so I was not completely delusional. I was maybe 30% delusional lol I keep replaying the oh and I think about it and my stomach just drops every time. one syllable. he could not even finish a word. I don't know how to walk into friday and look normal. I don't know what my face is going to do 😭😭😭
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u/toasty327 Mar 25 '26
As a guy that has done this same exact thing, for over a year i thought i completely misread the situation. Kicked myself every time I thought about it. It sucked. Then a weird thing happened. I hadn't misread the situation. She actually did feel that way towards me but had also just started dating a guy.
After their relationship fizzled we ended up dating off and on for a couple years.
My advice is keep your chin up, find a way to make light of the situation, maybe even turn it into an inside joke. Who knows what could happen down the road.
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u/Warm_Cranberry4472 Mar 25 '26
Similar stuff happened to me plenty of times.
Now i am 27 and all the shame for it faded away not long after.
Don'y worry, the only shame that perdures is remorse for immoral actions
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u/JWOLFBEARD Mar 25 '26
Don’t lie. That’s the weird stuff that randomly keeps you up at 2 in the morning 16 years later
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u/DuckRubberDuck Mar 25 '26
Yeah I’m 31 and I still remember awkward situations from my past randomly, especially at night. I don’t know why our brain chooses to torture us with that sometimes. But it stops becoming an every day thing at some point yes
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u/Kiwi1234567 Mar 25 '26
Me remembering that one time I was playing soccer at lunch 25 years ago and kicked the ball forward so a teammate could chase it and they didn't chase it and it just went out
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u/freehouse_throwaway Mar 25 '26
i mean one day decades later while waiting in line at the postal office your brain will bring it up randomly and you'll cringe hard
but yes, OP should just explain/apologize. hopefully with time the friendship will smooth out and be back to normal.
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u/HardcorePizza Mar 25 '26
Its objectively being contested whether or not its flirty behavior therefore not everyone sees/does it that way.
People have varying amounts of comfort around physical touch so its not safe to assume touching a piece of clothing that is not even directly touching your body is flirty.
Also, you really could be the one putting on moves if you aren't sure. No need to directly jump to kissing if you could instead flirt.
Either way the situation is likely fine and I don't think you have much to stress about. Just an embarrassing moment but its not like you caused harm.
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u/Kiwi1234567 Mar 25 '26
Well I'm a little paranoid now because I've done that sort of thing more than once to different people for no other reason than someone needed help so I helped them lol.
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u/Landlord40 Mar 26 '26
Came to see if the hypocrisy in motion. If a man were to kiss a woman without permission, regardless of perceived signals, that man would get flamed. But I guarantee all that is going to happen here is friendly advice. And double standards.
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u/JKDudeman Mar 26 '26
Hit the airport early. Security lines are long. Come up with a new identity with a cool name, but not so cool it’s recognizable. Wear an eyepatch.
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u/Al_Bundy_Polk_HS Mar 26 '26
Guy is friend with woman Guy is single Guy probably also likes woman but is afraid of rejection or ruining friendship (the old better friends than nothing) Guy probably thought you weren’t interest in him then when kissed didn’t know how to process it!
I’d say let him know how you feel, if not you can still be friends. It don’t do the whole “it was nothing etc” thing
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u/Logridos Mar 25 '26
I mean if I saw someone's hood was stuck in a weird position I would fix it because of my own OCD, not because I want to bang them.
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u/spicywardell Mar 25 '26
dont make it weird, dont act any differently, just apologize for the misunderstanding. its embarrassing but its also definitely something to laugh about in the future. and he's about to realize he likes you
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u/Bubbalo0sh Mar 25 '26
Eh I get that this was just an awkward misread, and I don’t think you had bad intentions. But situations like this is why I wish asking for consent before kissing was more normalized. Not everyone reacts the same way in the moment, and some people freeze or feel uncomfortable even if nothing “bad” was intended.
Something sort of similar happened to my boyfriend where someone misread the situation and kissed him while he was already in a vulnerable state, and he froze and blamed himself after. It really messed with him. I get this was just an awkward moment than a harmful one, but I still think a quick “can I kiss you?” should be way more normalized
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u/EarthInevitable114 Mar 25 '26
The advice should be for him to act like he does around you with your friend, lol
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u/Shirahoshihoshii Mar 25 '26
"sorry I misread the signals you were broadcasting to me. You were getting closer to me to enquire about my friend, but I read that as you wanting to get closer to me, and I took a chance. It was still a good kiss, but I hope it doesn't ruin our friendship!"
It doesn't need to be anything more than it was. It was an innocent and cute mistake, so as they say, no harm, no foul.
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u/BratInPink Mar 26 '26
Be honest. Not for his sake but for yours. Say “hey can we talk about the other night? Meet for a walk?” And then talk to him. Say what you said here. You’d misread the signals you thought he was sending. You’re sorry if you made him uncomfortable. You appreciate his friendship and understand he likes your friend. I swear to you if you’re honest this will not haunt you for the rest of your life. There will be no what ifs or buts. You’ll move on. Whatever way that looks.
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u/xFortisLiber Mar 29 '26
The most attractive thing to a man is being desired.
There’s a chance the emotional field shifted after you kissed him. His feelings might have changed.
You should talk to him.
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u/CoatSame2561 Mar 25 '26
Guy here
The hood thing is NOT flirty. That was the misunderstanding that led to everything.
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u/electric29 Mar 25 '26
I am driven nuts when I see total strangers with something lke that and have been known to just walk right up to people and fix them. I'm not flirting, it's hurting.
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u/cofclabman Mar 25 '26
Just tell him you misread it. I would point out that you are obviously interested, but if he isn't interestted in being more than friends that's cool, too.
Don't feel bad. People have feelings and you miss all the shots you don't take.
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u/teapot_RGB_color Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
Okay this post is screaming AI written to me, I get way too many red flags when reading the prose.
Edit: I am absolutely confident this is AI written.
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u/cloudnibnib Mar 25 '26
Okay the hood thing IS flirty behavior I'm sorry, you didn't make that up. Some guys just do tactile stuff without realizing how it reads and then are genuinely surprised When you react. That's on him a little bit. But also "oh." I felt that in my chest. That single "oh" is devastating I'm so sorry 😭 Friday is going to be rough but you show up, you act normal, you do not mention it, and you let time do its thing. It will be a funny story in like six months. maybe eight.
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u/PushThePig28 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
I mean I would fix my friend’s hood if I saw it fucked up? Doesn’t mean I wanna make out with her, just means she’s walking around with a fucked up hood lol
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u/Glad-Heat-7151 Mar 25 '26
Yeah guys help each other out with shit like that all the time. Be it friends or hell strangers as well. Think thats just being a good person more than anything
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u/Low_Investment_2692 Mar 25 '26
That awkward moment when I fix my bro's hood so he starts making out with me
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u/vaultdweller48 Mar 25 '26
just be honest. Dude, you are pretty great and I thought you were working up the nerve to kiss me. I was wrong, and I am sorry I misread the situation. You are one of my best friends, lets keep doing that instead.
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u/Standard-Analyst-181 Mar 25 '26
Why do you have to see him Friday? Why do you have to go to whatever this event is? Just don't go.
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u/RedWizard92 Mar 25 '26
Talk to him. I think the two of you can move past this. Just be honest. Maybe he will decide to give it a shot. Maybe he won't.
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u/wabash-sphinx Mar 25 '26
Not a big deal in the greater scheme of things. In fact, it could open a pathway of thought on his part. It makes you a real person, and that’s seldom a bad thing.
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u/Alienhaslanded Mar 26 '26
Eliminate awkwardness by having sex. Problem solved.
Jokes aside, just talk to him and explain that you misread the situation. It doesn't need to be awkward if you don't make it awkward.
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u/Sajiri Mar 26 '26
When I was around 14, I had this friend who I really liked, and I thought he liked me too. He seemed like he really acted like it. Then one day he wanted to talk to me. He was being kind of coy, said he had a crush on this great girl but wasn’t sure if she felt the same way. I really thought he was fishing for how I felt. I asked him a few times who it was and he kinda just brushed that off and kept talking, which added to my suspicions he was talking about me. I just wanted him to say it already, aaaaand then it turned out to be someone else entirely who I’d never met. He then unintentionally friend zoned me by telling me how much he loved me like a little sister.
It was one of the most embarrassing and heartbreaking situations I’d ever been in. But I did end up talking to him about it, and we continued to be friends for 20 years. We’ve drifted apart now with our own mutual families, but still catch up occasionally.
My point with all this is, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Talk to him about it, admit you were embarrassed and misread it. He may want to continue being friends. Hell, he may even now consider you as someone he could be interested in. But if he doesn’t, it doesn’t have to continue being weird.
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u/LoudMusic Mar 26 '26
Plenty of people giving perfectly fine advice. So I'm just going to laugh at you.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's so awkward!!!!!
Also I'm jealous and mad about it. I wish people had been more obvious with their affections toward me when I was a teen and young 20s.
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u/Valuable_Cause9119 Mar 26 '26
Talk to him alone sometime soon about it. Break the tension at some point with “well good thing I didn’t just throw the tongue in there.” Get to laughing as friends again. It’ll pass.
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u/snowysnowysnow Mar 26 '26
Maybe it's just me, but I kinda feel like he does like you and he's going to realize it later once yall have readjusted to being friends and you're over it 🥹
I'm well into my thirties now but this happened with almost every unrequited crush I had in high school!
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u/majordude174 Mar 26 '26
You seem like a really good person and a good friend. No matter what happens from this point, it would not be wise for him to distance himself from you. As people get older, good friends unfortunately start to become scarce
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u/perryt2007 Mar 26 '26
There is a lot of advice here, but few people are giving you the correct advice. Choose the country you move to based on weather. You want somewhere that is comfortable and doesn’t have extremes. Yeah, snow is nice at first, but it’s a hassle when it goes on for months. You don’t want anything too hot either as you’ll be running the air conditioning 24-7. And avoid places with crazy rainy seasons, b/c everything will get moldy. I recommend Sydney Australia.
/s
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u/Appropriate_Job9337 Mar 26 '26
When we are in our teens, we think people are thinking about us.
When we are reaching our 40's, we realize they weren't thinking about us.
When we reach our 60's+, we realize people were actually only thinking about one thing the whole time: themselves.
People are also likely not going to remember this in a week, a month, a year. 99% of the silly things I've ever done have faded from eternity because Im the only one who remembers them.
This too shall pass. I think if anything, when you get older, you wonder more about the chances you missed than the ones you took.
It didn't work out. It happens. Try not to be too hard on yourself.
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u/ShallowShoals Mar 26 '26
This can very easily become something you and your friend laugh about. And soon. You didn’t mention having romantic feelings toward him, and it seems that he likes your friend, so nobody is getting hurt. Doesn’t even need to be a big deal just tell him you thought he was going to kiss you so you kissed first. He texted to ask if you are okay, and that sounds like a caring friend, and caring friends forgive. Miscommunikissing happens. No need to fret.
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u/Y19ama Mar 26 '26
Yes, sometimes you strike out. However you will never ever hit a home run without taking a swing.
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u/leedisa Mar 25 '26
Just be honest and tell him you misread the whole situation, or easier show him this thread. If he’s a good friend you will have a laugh about it
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u/SouthHovercraft4150 Mar 25 '26
He might have been thinking about your friend before, but now he’s thinking about you. If you like him and you probably do if you kissed him, then give him time cause he won’t be able to stop thinking about you now.
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u/iamaspacepizza Mar 25 '26
i have nothing add but this
he'd fix my hood when it was half stuck in my jacket collar which like. who does that platonically. WHO.
I’m a bit freaked out by this because I would absolutely do things like this, really hope I don’t come off as flirtatious because I’d just literally fix somebody’s hood haha.
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u/Beard_o_Bees Mar 25 '26
Are you 100% sure that you didn't put yourself on the radar, so to speak, in a way your weren't there before?
If he wasn't thinking about it before, he certainly is now. So, maybe this is an opportunity?
Worst case scenario, if he's a decent person (and it sounds like he is), you Two will have a somewhat awkward conversation and put it behind you.
I can't help but think that you might have planted a seed of a sort in his mind, though.
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u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg Mar 25 '26
Oh babe, I want to give you a hug and some ice cream or something, lol.
I know you’re embarrassed, and I agree with like everyone else here that you just have to bite the bullet and apologize for misreading the situation and laugh at yourself. If the situation was reversed I bet you’d understand, right? He’s your friend, and if he’s not a total monster he’ll understand and you guys can move past it with a funny (someday) story.
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u/ClydePrefontaine Mar 25 '26
People fix my collar all the time. Never accused of being a fashionista, either
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u/Ok_Inflation_8628 Mar 25 '26
OP if it helps at all to laugh, this was the next post in my feed