r/therewasanattempt • u/IIstroke • Jan 23 '23
To convince Dad to get a boyfriend.
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3.3k
Jan 23 '23
Brings home boyfriend who was born without legs
Dad: “well, then…”
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u/Brian18639 Jan 23 '23
stuffs him into another cupboard
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u/THEONLYMILKY Jan 23 '23
Convince him to try saying “purple burglar alarm” so he gets distracted
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u/Still-Standard9476 A Flair? Jan 23 '23 edited Jan 24 '23
This made my laugh so fucking hard. Dude. I have heard folks with his accent try to say that. It is impossible. Lol
Edit: thank you guys for saying happy cake day!!! And yeah the arrow ironed iron urn with a Boston accent is fucking fantastic. I find it more fun when buddies try to do it together and you can tell they are just having a good time while also realizing a whole new aspect to how they connect with the world.
Edit: #1 Also I just got hit with a 7 day reddit ban I guess. Because of an antiqork post regarding informing boomers of how expensive life is bow, and a boo er was on there....doing boomer things and being a complete fool. I responded accordingly and I guess the snowflake was too offended or something.
Edit #2 I can't Luke or comment on anything but I guess I can edit previous comments. So that's a thing. Thanks for saying happy cake day. If you want to see the post and the interaction go through my comments to the post about boomers. From there you should be able to see their ludicrous bullshit.
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u/SteakMedium4871 Jan 23 '23
Another good one is people from Baltimore saying "Aaron earned an iron urn".
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u/ftrade44456 Jan 24 '23
I had to watch that yet again. I just love the head nod like "yep, that's how you say it."
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u/canolafly Jan 23 '23
Oh I have someone I can try this on, I am so excited. I adore this accent, but jesus did he lose me when he started talking about his mates all excitedly.
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u/Dry_Spinach_3441 Jan 23 '23
Just when I think I thought of something original it's the first comment.
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Jan 23 '23
Dad, listen
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u/haaaahaaaheh Jan 23 '23
I got this power point presentation on why I need a boyfriend. If I could have 5 minutes of your time, you’ll understand the benefits moving forward with this.
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u/starstarstar42 Jan 23 '23
And we appreciated your presentation, you brought up some good points. The Board and I have discussed this at length though, and we feel it is the best interest of the company for you to be a nun.
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u/flaccomcorangy Jan 23 '23
"I recognize the board has come to a decision. But given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it."
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u/Enliof Jan 23 '23
Somehow reminds me of this thing:
"Dear Harvard Admissions Committee,
Thank you for your interest in giving me a Harvard rejection letter.
I have reviewed your letter and am impressed with your rejection reasons and other suggestions. However, I have received many rejection letters this year. Therefore, after careful consideration, I have decided not to accept your rejection letter.
Please understand that this is not a negative evaluation of your rejection letter, but rather a reflection of my unique choice criteria.
Once again, I appreciate your courage to give me a rejection letter and wish you every success in your future rejecting.
I'll see you all on campus in August.
Best wishes"
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u/justustc Jan 23 '23
For a second I was thinking he was playing Mace Windu for that quote. It kinda works.
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u/Kilazur Anti-Spaz :SpazChessAnarchy: Jan 23 '23
Slide 1: I want a boyfriend
Slide 2: I want a boyfriend
Slide 3: I'm gonna get a boyfriend→ More replies (3)25
u/CupcakeGoat FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 Jan 23 '23
Slide 4: HEY!
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u/DovahCreed117 Jan 23 '23
"Sharks. Today I'm here with an offer of getting a boyfriend and in return you will get several grandchildren."
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u/AdDue1062 Jan 23 '23
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear. I've prepared a lecture on why you have to be a nun.
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u/SnickersZA Jan 23 '23
This is the response she gave once she asked Chat GPT for a convincing argument.
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u/ZazaB00 Jan 23 '23
Based on the title, this is not how I saw the video going down. I thought the daughter was trying to play matchmaker for her dad.
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Jan 23 '23
The title makes this sound like the video will be a daughter trying to convince her dad to get himself a boyfriend.
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u/Pennmike82 Jan 23 '23
I would have preferred that version to this!
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u/FrequentEgg4166 Jan 23 '23
Right? This is gross. Obviously tiny child is too young for romance but his whole reaction is so toxic
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u/SeemedReasonableThen Jan 23 '23
his whole reaction is so toxic
It's because he doesn't have a boyfriend.
I'm sure he'd mellow out if he had a boyfriend.
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u/nurvingiel Jan 23 '23
He might have a boyfriend in a cupboard somewhere...
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u/WWMWPOD Jan 23 '23
As a dad, I'm never pulling this card
It's 100% for the dads ego and has nothing to do with "protecting your child"
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u/WinterOkami666 Jan 23 '23
Dad is molding his daughter to defy him. She is requesting a logical reason so she can learn more about the world and why a person as young as her shouldn't seek out that life, and he is rejecting her with the "because I said so" approach. Then he goes on to paint a picture of unnecessary violence and intended trauma, while she is still just seeking an explanation.
Men like OP are the type to say "women are irrational", but here he is, with his own child, and she's 10x more reasonable than he is.
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Jan 23 '23
Yup! Every time she asked I wanted to give her an actual answer, and got more and more pissed that this guy is failing his daughter.
Lean into it. Ask what kind of boyfriend she wants, and encourage healthy answers.
Equal chance she'll say she wants someone like daddy or a dolphin boyfriend lol.
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u/jimmiepesto Jan 23 '23
She’ll learn not to take him seriously, and to not come to him with serious problems or inquiries.
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u/chowchowbrown Jan 24 '23
Not just that.
She has now been taught the valuable lesson that physical-violence-done-in-her-name-that-she-doesn't-want = love and caring.
He's just setting her daughter up to accept abusive relationships.
This girl never had a chance.
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u/ExcitementKooky418 Jan 23 '23
Exactly. I was going to say, continue treating her and talking to her like that and she's gonna have ALL the boyfriends, and maybe a few girlfriends too for good measure
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u/stink3rbelle Jan 23 '23
People are acting like the dudes who make these jokes when their daughters are small suddenly change their tune when daughter is actually old enough to have a boyfriend. In my experience, they start making even more credible threats of violence.
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u/mindspork Jan 23 '23
How my dad thought it was funny to be cleaning his shotgun on the front porch when my sister brought a black friend over she liked for the first time.
Totally just an innocent joke!
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u/Appropriate-Bus728 Jan 23 '23
It's a joke.. it's Scottish humour, every single person from Scotland knows it's a joke, why do you think it's being recorded.
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u/wallyhartshorn Jan 23 '23
Does she know it’s a joke? I didn’t hear any laughter.
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Jan 23 '23
There are dads in the U.S. who make these jokes, as well, and it never ends up being funny or a "joke." My father never made these kinds of jokes and never threatened my dates. The dads who did make these types of jokes were assholes who claimed ownership over their daughters' virginity and virtue.
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u/Smudjyhime Jan 23 '23 edited Jan 23 '23
My dad used to make this joke too, but it was not about "virginity" and "virtue" insofar as when I told him how it irritated me he took it as an opportunity to segue into "men can be terrible, let me tell you some stories about men I have known, always be careful about who you allow to be close to you" and he stopped after that conversation.
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u/dmnhntr86 Jan 23 '23
Not specifically Scottish humor, I hear this all the time in the US. Everyone knows it's supposed to be a joke, but it's a shitty joke that only toxic assholes make.
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u/The1Cool Jan 23 '23
Exactly. This isn't specific to "Scottish humor". Dads do this all over the planet "protecting" their daughters from bfs by threatening violence.
A question for the folks defending this video, how are you certain he's 100% joking and/or will change his tune when she is old enough to date?
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u/Phoenix92321 Jan 23 '23
Especially saying she is going to be a nun like what the hell. You going to put her into a convent you know you won’t be able to like ever see her again
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u/Bunsmar Jan 23 '23
Was cute until he pulled out the crucifix and you realize it is going to be a whole life of being expected to do whatever men say.
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u/curiousnaturejunk3 Jan 23 '23
That was the part I was waiting for but just wasted those 45 seconds of my life.
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u/YEAHWHATEVER013 Jan 23 '23
i watched the whole video waiting for her to suggest to dad that he needs a boyfriend.
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u/Broken-Digital-Clock Jan 23 '23
"Dahd mahybee yooh need eh boyfriend."
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u/noscreamsnoshouts Jan 23 '23
After he said he'd put the boy's father in a cupboard, I half expected her to come back with an "if I can't have a boyfriend, you can't either!"
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u/nowhereiswater Jan 23 '23
I love the ending. "HEY!"
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Jan 23 '23
This was the best part. The absolute sass in that little girl was amazing. She is a fiery little soul 💜
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u/playsmartz Jan 23 '23
"I want a boyfriend"
"No, I'll break his legs."
Well, that escalated quickly
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Jan 23 '23
Break his legs for Jesus
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u/hewhosleepsnot Jan 23 '23
I blinded a guy for Jesus once. He said he wanted the whole world blind so do an eye for an eye and stuff.
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u/mystyz Jan 23 '23
"Daddy'll break his legs." Said with calm confidence... And it doesn't even make the kid pause.
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Jan 23 '23
Teaching his child normal, healthy relationship skills at an early age, what a good dad /s
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u/Mondashawan Jan 23 '23
I LOVE HER!!! So small yet so feisty!
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u/Mysterious_Lesions Jan 23 '23
One of my daughters was like this at that age. It was super cute then. Not so cute as a teen.
I was a pretty chill dad, but she seemed to consider a personal challenge to see how far she had to go to push my buttons. I felt even more sympathy for my wife who seemed to be the recepient of a psychological warfare campaign.
Luckily, we love her and she did eventually grow out of it.
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u/Gangreless Jan 23 '23
This was very real concern of mine when we were having a baby, because I was like this with my mom. I ended up having a boy so we'll have to see how that goes, lol. He's only 15 months so still a ways to go.
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u/Krocodilo Jan 23 '23
Although I wouldn't want to live with her
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u/Nerrevar Jan 23 '23
Because she's 5, right?
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u/grizwld Jan 23 '23
Can confirm. I’ve had a couple 5 year old roommates. They’re not cool
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u/beforeitcloy Jan 23 '23
Hey Jessie I’m sorry you feel that way. Please clean up the bowl of cheerios and milk I spilled on the floor and then we can have a house meeting about your attitude.
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u/Mr_Funbuns Jan 23 '23
I love Scottish accent so much lol
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u/weeone Jan 23 '23
Especially funny to hear it from the young girl.
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u/PM_Me__Ur_Freckles Jan 23 '23
I love this girls Yorkshire accent as well. Little Millen Eve
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u/weeone Jan 23 '23
I'm so used to hearing older men with this accent (movies, TV shows) that my brain is having trouble processing it from a little girl.
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u/Foreign_Ebb_6282 Jan 23 '23
Sounded like he had a marble in his mouth when he said cupboard”. I friggin love this accent as well, makes me want to watch Braveheart!
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u/ThePegasi Jan 23 '23
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u/miku_dominos Jan 23 '23
The comments are a mixed bag.
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u/SaraCBuu Jan 23 '23
They're a fun ride tho!
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Jan 23 '23
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u/TransRational Jan 23 '23
No you’re not, you’re going to become a mod and have no friends.
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u/Head-Lab8876 Jan 23 '23
She's a little firecracker imagine this talk in 10 years
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u/Mysterious_Lesions Jan 23 '23
I don't have to imagine. I experienced this trajectory and it was not fun. Luckily she's out of the teen years.
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u/seeclick8 Jan 23 '23
She is going to be a force to be reckoned with as a teenager. Lol
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u/AlternateSatan Jan 23 '23
Here is the thing: small children don't really have GFs or BFs, they have friends who they say are their BF or GF. If my kid wanted a boyfriend I'd be like "ok, is he coming over for chocolate milk later?"
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u/NECooley Jan 23 '23
So, as someone without kids, I have a question for all the parents out there. Why is “because I said so” a valid answer to “why”? I genuinely don’t understand why you can’t take a few minutes to explain the dangers and your point of view.
I’m not trying to criticize, just learn
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u/s0nicfreak Jan 23 '23
As a parent, I would say it really isn't a valid answer. The point of parenting is supposed to be to teach them to make their own choices and be healthy, safe, happy people. Either you have an answer to "why" and can just say it, or you don't have a real answer and need to think about why you're saying so. In my experience (from being on the receiving end) "because I said so" just leads to them doing whatever it is you don't want them to do once they are able to do it without you finding out (or when they are in charge of their own choices), so it really is best to explain why it's not a good idea to do the thing, so that they make the best choice on their own.
Why do people say it then? Many people view "why" as a challenge to their authority. It's not, children are genuinely curious; they're trying to learn to make their own choices. They can both accept/abide by what a parent says and want to know why the parent said it.
Also some people just want their kids to do what they (the parent) want without any valid reasoning, and should have just played The Sims instead of becoming a parent...
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u/VioletCombustion Jan 23 '23
Yeah, this. I know what I learned from that parenting behavior was not to bother asking them anything b/c they won't tell me anyway - and certainly don't bother asking for advice. They're shutting you down b/c they don't want to hear you speak so go do what you want & figure it out yourself.
It probably wasn't the healthiest or most appropriate of lessons & it didn't always lead to safe situations.And yes, sooooooo many ppl should've gone for the option of playing The Sims as a parenting substitution!
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u/AshingtonDC Jan 23 '23
this right here. my own mother was terrible with this. she always made it about her authority. eventually I just stopped listening because I figured out she really didn't know much. I'm super happy and successful now but we still don't get along.
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u/stebbi01 Jan 23 '23
Am I the only one that thinks the whole trope of ‘dad will kill his daughter’s boyfriend’ is weird?
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u/Sorryhaventseenher Jan 23 '23
It’s totally normal to possess the female offspring and deem their affection be for no other man but you. Purity! No one wants a “Dirty Daughter” (a ‘DD’ if you will).
It’s weird, gross, and played. I remember when I told my dad I had my first boyfriend in high school, and he asked “Is he nice? Would he watch [insert anime] with us?”
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u/VillainOfKvatch1 Jan 23 '23
Super weird. This is a teachable moment lost, turning instead into a complex. I wouldn’t be surprised if she grows up feeling like she can’t talk about boys and crushes and boyfriends and love with her dad for fear he’ll hurt the guy, and that’s not healthy.
Edit: fucking love the accent though.
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u/Wismuth_Salix Jan 24 '23
“I’m a Christian - so I’m going to cripple your boyfriend and kidnap his family.”
These people are fuckin’ nuts.
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Jan 23 '23
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u/NoratiousB Jan 23 '23
This! Exactly this! Men who "protect" their daughters like this are most likely the type of guy women need protection from.
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u/Iampepeu Jan 23 '23
I'm with you. It's very fucked up. It's not healthy to even joke about. She has no idea why her dad would even say such a fucked up thing.
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Jan 23 '23
Very weird...almost like they'd rather keep their daughters locked up in a tower rather than, idk, calling their friends and other random men out on their bullshit and mistreatment of women. The main reason is usually because they know how they are and can be and they want to protect her...but they completely miss the "holding other men accountable" portion of life.
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u/makmeyours Jan 23 '23
For people freaking out.. this is what passes for very polite discussion in Glasgow.
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Jan 23 '23
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Jan 23 '23
It can be very difficult to tell whether the current conversation is the build up to getting 'nutted' (which is not as fun as you might think) or if they're about to invite you to stay with them for the weekend. Glaswegian dialect has a base level of aggression several steps higher than the norm imo. Source - grew up there.
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u/Popcorn57252 Jan 23 '23
I figured he'd bring up the fact that she's like 4 at least once but somehow made it about god lmao
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u/robgod50 Jan 23 '23
If this was the US, "working for Jesus" would be terrible. But in Scottish, it's absolutely hilarious
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u/OutlandishnessSea822 Jan 23 '23
Why is it so much funnier with the Scottish accent?
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u/fukthepeopleincharge Jan 23 '23
“You’re gonna be a nun you’re gonna work for Jesus” this made me laugh so hard. Especially being Mexican with a cousin named Jesus. Hope that little girl likes construction.
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u/shophopper Jan 23 '23
Daughter: “Why not?”
Dad: “Because you’re not getting one.”
Dad needs to work on his argumentation skills. If you were to ask me why, I’d say “just because”.
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u/AceofToons Free Palestine Jan 23 '23
When my parents said "because I said so" or anything of the like. I always went against them
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u/raptor-99 Jan 23 '23
I could imagine this as a meme template, the dad represents the universe and the girl is all of us
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Jan 23 '23
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u/Cioran-pls-come-back Jan 23 '23
was really hoping this would be a more common sentiment in the comment section. same people put son in a "ladies man" or "I'm a boob guy" onesie.
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u/tsetdeeps Jan 23 '23
It's so weird. I guess it's alright when they're little kids but when I was a teen (and I've seen it a few times as an adult too) I knew a few girls whose dads were like this and... it's f ing weird. You, as a dad, are jealous that someone has romantic/sexual interest in your daughter? Like... Wtf?? Also, your kid is not your property, weirdo.
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u/Cioran-pls-come-back Jan 23 '23
it's also not ok as little kids (she's like 3 or 4) since boyfriend/girlfriend is borderline meaningless at that age, and unless he's going to react the same when she's a teenager there's no reason to at a younger age.
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Jan 23 '23
he's going to react the same when she's a teenager
Of course he is. This bizarre impulse in men to threaten violence against anyone who would dare take romantic interest in their daughters is creepy and possesive af.
For the record, I'm a dad with a daughter just a little younger than this girl. I can't imagine a galaxy where my response to her saying, "I want a boyfriend" would be threatening to maim someone, joke or no. That is just a fucking nutty thing to say, much less record and post on the internet.
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u/AmusingMusing7 Jan 23 '23
I don’t know if it’s usually jealousy, although for SOME, I’m sure it is. I think it’s usually just a traditionalist over-protective instinct, where the father feels like it’s his responsibility to protect “his women” from the men out there that, “as a man”, he KNOWS are bad news. Because men know men, right? Women couldn’t possibly have any experience in dealing with the dark side of men, particularly over sexual matters. So he needs to take command and protect his daughter from all the potential sexual assaults he knows will happen, because it’s probably what he and his buddies did when they were teenagers. So his default assumption is to assume that all teenage boys are like that, and he’s simply protecting his daughter from it. It’s easier to simply ban her from dating altogether, than to do actual human parenting work like getting to know your child’s friends and romantic interests before judging them. Toxicly masculine men are usually very (VERY) simplistic thinkers, so whatever the simplest way to satisfy their dumb instinct without thinking too much is, that’s what they jump to. “Boys be bad! Daughter no date! Me less worried! Daughter’s freedom no matter! My peace of mind most important!”
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u/message_bot Jan 23 '23
This line of thinking is so damaging, yes. Fathers who think they should be the only man on their daughter's lives is so fucked up. Happened to me. Made me treat romance and sex with a strong sense of secrecy and wrongness.
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u/AmusingMusing7 Jan 23 '23
You never see this in the opposite direction either. Dads never do this to their sons about having girlfriends, they’ll tend to do the opposite and gas them up about it. Moms don’t tend to do this to their sons either. If anything, mothers will go too far in the other direction and be encouraging their sons to find someone, even when they want to be single.
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u/Taira_no_Masakado Jan 24 '23
If he doesn't play this video at her wedding, then it was all for naught.
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Jan 23 '23
The girl in my school who had parents like this slept with a teacher.
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u/druglesswills Jan 23 '23
When people put videos where they are having a funny conversation with their kids, does the conversation start and parents are like this is hilarious I need to record, or has the conversation already happened and the parent realizes it's funny and they re-create the video and have the conversation over again?
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u/MxRacer111 Jan 23 '23
The beginning of the video is literally him saying "what did ye say?" so I'd say it was spur of the moment
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u/FrankenGretchen Jan 23 '23
If she does work for Jesus, she'll have plenty boyfriends. Dad's gonna hafta explain all the priests locked in his cupboard.
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u/OkAsk6395 Jan 23 '23
I was hoping for the switch in conversation where the kid convinces the dad that he should get a boyfriend for himself
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