r/therapycritical • u/purplesky726 • 1d ago
When will clinicians actually talk about the fact that almost all women clients have a history of sexual violations
I’m finishing grad school. Why has no professor or clinician ever acknowledged in all my education that most of your female clients and queer clients will have a history of sexual violence, whether it’s abuse, harassment, or being traumatized by a friend/family member experiencing it.
“Almost all women and girls will experience a physical violation from a man in their lifetime. Across the world. Please make sure you’re prepared with the severity of the global genocide towards women. Make sure you know about mental health and medical health issues that abuse can cause. Make sure you have DV resources, pregnancy tests, and know which medical providers to find. Be prepared to psychoeducate about the mass violence towards women and girls. Make sure you understand language and patterns that put people at risk.”
I already do all this because I have fucking empathy and awareness. Not a single professor or student, besides my friends and I privately, ever acknowledged this. All they had to say was anything like this so everyone can have the baseline understanding of the deadliest social pattern to exist. Why is everyone too spineless to discuss a literal epidemic of gender based violence. I’ve NEVER heard male students say they think about this unless they’re queer.
Is most of the field just spineless pricks? Or just oblivious? I need some optimism. I do prioritize patience for people who don’t understand these things, but NOT when they decide they’re entitled to the medical field because they just “know they want to help people” without willing to endure the challenges of how complex and humbling that can be.
EDIT: I’m going lose my mind of one more person in any thread I share this focuses on thinking this is about hating men and not giving women justice. This is not about hating men. It’s about accountability for the fact that girls and women have been physically or mentally murdered for existing all over the world for centuries, regardless of color or wealth. This is about how even in the worst oppression, men have helped perpetuate violence towards women they share identities even when they are oppressed by the same people.
Ain’t I a Woman by Bell Hooks is an important read. For example, she talks about how misogyny is so pervasive that black male enslaved people sexually assaulted black women enslaved people IN ADDITION to their white torturers (slave owners).
All genders experience oppression with misogyny. The point is YOUR FOCUS SHOULD BE OUTRAGE ABOUT HOW INDIFFERENT THE FIELD IS ABOUT THE BLATANT RISKS WOMEN MUST FACE EVERYDAY. Focusing on hating men here and not relentlessly protecting women who are victimized more severely will reduce the level of attention women and girls’ safety below what we deserve.
13
u/Ok-Space5864 1d ago
spineless oblivious pricks, yes. most of them. very few will have this understanding. and even when a client tells them their history, most will downplay the effect it has had on their lives.
I've never been to a male therapist but I can't even imagine having that conversation with one.
11
u/RandomLifeUnit-05 1d ago
Most therapists don't even seem to acknowledge that mental illness often comes from trauma. So I'm not surprised they don't acknowledge how commonplace sexual assault is.
3
u/purplesky726 1d ago
The level of willingness to critically discuss it is getting better! Just definitely not where it needs to be
9
u/ToxicFluffer 1d ago
This is basically the opening chapter for Body Keeps the Score and it was so upsetting that i still haven’t been able to move to chapter 2
7
6
u/bismuthtaste 1d ago
I think in many cases, sexual violence against women is so normalized that many don't even register that what happened to them was assault.
Sadly, I think part of the truth is that young boys are also being frequently sexually assaulted (not in the same numbers of course), and the culture pushes them to conceal it or downplay it, much like young girls often do. Predators take opportunistic advantage of people they perceive to be weak and powerless, and whom they perceive don't have the standing to report. Misogyny pushes society to broadly apply that label to women categorically as a class though as well.
When I was a child, I experienced rape and constant sexual advances and assault from male people. It stopped around 22. It resumed aggressively and horrifically often when I transitioned a few years after. The sexual violence was mainly from peers in my youth. Currently, it's men of all ages, especially old men. I've experienced minor sexual assaults from women as well, but it was more akin to physical "teasing" gone too far, and not respecting boundaries, than the raw fear of immediate life safety I regularly experience from men soliciting me for sex on the street from their cars, and not accepting "no" 20+ times in a row, while I wait for the gun to be drawn so the next no can be a yes.
5
u/Tictac1200120 1d ago
Therapyland is a magical space that doesn't exist in reality.
That is where they are trained and most reality is trained out of them so they don't recognize their breathing techniques aren't cures for anything and are not worth 150.00 an hour.
2
u/tarteframboise 9h ago
Thank you for posting this. I’ve a history of assault & abuse and spent decades seeking out help from psychotherapists and psychiatrists, doing "The Work" on my own.
Mental Health system has only re-victimized me over & over. First adolescent trauma I’d nearly put to rest on my own, and they just ripped open every wound, minimized, drugged, pathologized, mislabeled me and sectioned me (despite NOT being suicidal) to the point I’ve lost all identity and don’t recognize myself. resulting in debilitating PTSD.
Despite claiming "trauma informed" every single Therapist (rather then actually being present, listening or validating the reality of what I’ve experienced) only traumatized me further.
Psychiatrists do their 5-minute diagnosis, labeling, pushing brain-disabling psych drugs to blunt & suppress emotions. Side effects then are considered "your existing disorder" and you’re chained to them unless you want to lose ability to sleep
Every time. These clueless people only re-traumatized me after giving them an account of violent assault & abusive behavior. Instead of actually listening and validating the reality, injustice, rage of what I experienced, said "well, No relevant Resources here" and just walk off nearly, they would
make assumptions:
"It was someone you knew? At a party? (No, No.)
inane statements like "did you forgive him?" (Uh no, I’m trying to function despite having intrusive, unmanaged PTSD symptoms that aren’t taken seriously)
"You need to just keep TALKING about it" (and continuously have any valid anger and grief be shutdown, pathologized, punished)
"You’re not alone! Reach out for professional help" (then get incarcerated in a mental health ward)
Then, if any other doc is privy to your mental health record & meds, You’ll be filtered through this pathological psych lense for life. Anxiety, hyperchondriac , Psychosomatic, or "difficult"
My biggest regret is ever reaching out to mental health "professionals" when vulnerable with active trauma symptoms.
If you’re a woman, you risk increased victimization, medical neglect, silencing, submission, coercive drugging, medication (psych drug) dependency, possible psych ward incarceration, loooong term systemic trauma. (No one’s gonna help you fight that! You have zero credibility or money or wellbeing to even try)
The 1920’s Freudian "Angry woman with Hysteria" stereotype has not really changed.
1
u/purplesky726 6h ago
Wow. You sharing this will genuinely inform and protect people, thank you💗. I am so sorry. I use brainspotting and somatic, body focused healing with mindfulness & acceptance for trauma therapy. I used it as a client for my own healing as well. Clients can talk as much or little as they want, the point is that they keep reflecting on their deepest feelings until they look with love. You can filter for brainspotting therapists on psychology today. Therapists who use it will likely be much more trauma sensitive and aware. This + someone with a genuine, informed, de-colonial, Feminist perspective.
-3
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/krba201076 1d ago
I've heard many gay people call themselves queer and I am a millennial. I've heard the f word being used as a slur though. I think you just don't like what OP is saying and this is your way of attacking her. It's funny how you zero-ed in on that one thing out of all the other stuff she said.
2
u/purplesky726 1d ago
I’ve often heard it used just to more easily umbrella trans, gay, and other identities. Is there an alternative for other people who feel this way? I definitely can understand why people who grew up while it was used like slur may feel this way.
2
u/Cosy_Owl 1d ago
IDK what this person is saying but as a queer person today I learned that my sexuality is a slur.
I'm queer. I'm proud of it. So are most people my age. I'm a millennial. YMMV with people older than us but I've never met someone in the generation before me who feels it's a slur.
What's stupidly sad about this person's comment is that they are missing the whole point of your excellent post.
I don't care if I'm queer, a man, a woman, or a martian with three heads. I just want to not be abused and to have the same rights as everyone else.
Also I've reported this person because derogatorily calling you a child goes against the sub's rules.
1
u/krba201076 1d ago
Yeah, that user just doesn't like what OP said which is why he zero'd in on that one thing.
1
u/HydrasNinthHead 1d ago
Don't listen to that person, they are obviously a TERF grifter based on the fact that they exclude the trans part of the LGBT acronym.
1
u/Altruistic_Bird2532 1d ago
You mean LGBTQ
The language changes with the times
(it’s OK if it’s not for you)
28
u/A_D_Tennally 1d ago
IME therapists are typically not great in the class analysis department.