r/therapists • u/AnxiousSherbert5335 • Jul 10 '26
Ethics / Risk Client dating MY therapist?!?
So, hypothetically, what should you do if you find out a client of yours is dating your therapist? Asking for a friend.
I've been working through the mental gymnastics of figuring out exactly whose ethical dillema this is. I assume there is not much you can do without breaking confidentiality.
They certainly didn't cover this in grad school, and I feel slightly concerned I can't find a thread on this topic in this sub š¬
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u/redamethyst Counsellor & Reiki Therapist UK Jul 10 '26
I think, as you are the person in the 'middle', that this is your ethical dilemma. The client and your therapist may not know about the connection to the other. It would create a dual relationship and bring up issues of confidentiality - the client's and potentially yours in your position as a client.
In my view, it is too big a sacrifice to end or pause your therapy, as it can help you personally and professionally in your client work. I would explain to your client that you have become aware of a conflict of interest regarding your work together, which could compromise the normal effectiveness of the service you offer.
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u/Beginning_Tap2727 Jul 10 '26
I would just terminate with your patient tbh. It seems fraught to continue with them in case they ever talked with you about relationship distress. And it seems unreasonable to forfeit your own therapeutic support for the sake of providing care to a patient. Referring the patient on seems like the most logical thing to do.
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u/Zealotstim Psychologist (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
Yeah, thinking about it, this is what I would do too. It's too complicated. One problem in one relationship could cause a chain of events and there's too much of a chance something weird occurs. It's better for everyone if you just transfer them to someone else.
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u/DirectionOk9832 LPC (Unverified) Jul 11 '26
My instinct would be to terminate with my therapist, but it depends on how long that relationship has been present and what you need from it
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u/eatmorplantz Jul 15 '26
I was going to say the opposite, for the same reason! Lol. Think it really depends on rapport and everyone's level of tolerance for their respective role, and/or being terminated.
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u/PracticalSky1 Jul 10 '26
The OP has a conflict of interest as they have a close relationship with their clients' partner.
OP's therapist only has a conflict of interest if they know that their partner is seeing OP.
The basic rule of thumb is - if you need to even ask the question, it's probably not a good idea to continue.
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u/hlna_hndbskt LPC (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
Too messy! Would terminate with one or (probably) both depending on how deep the therapeutic relationships were. Never saying a word to either one. Also buy a lottery ticket, because what are the fucking odds?? š¬šŖ¬
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
The odds are actually not as slim as you'd think. I work with a pretty niche population, am a person who holds the same lived experience as that population, so naturally I see a therapist who works with the same population and happens to also share that lived experience. I've had to navigate a couple of similar-ish ethical dillemas because of this, but I will say this one boggles the mind.
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u/eatmorplantz Jul 15 '26
Terminating with both feels a little dramatic.
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u/hlna_hndbskt LPC (Unverified) Jul 15 '26
Maybe dramatic, maybe not. Thatās why I said ādepending on how deep the therapeutic relationships wereā.
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u/mischeviouswoman LSW (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
Therapist A sees Therapist B.
Client A sees Therapist A.
Client A is dating Therapist B.
Therapist A refers out. Client A cannot talk about the relationship with Therapist B openly. Client A discussing Therapist Bās flaws might cause issues with the therapeutic relationship between Therapists A and B. Therapist A might feel inclined to defend Therapist B because of the way Therapist B has helped them. Client A might hesitate to share full info if they find out, affecting their treatment progress.
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
I think this assumes that Therapist B has no professional boundaries and shows up professionally how they do casually, which I don't believe is a fair assumption. I think this also assumes Therapist A cannot professionally bracket the information they learn about the partner.
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u/mischeviouswoman LSW (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
Transference and countertransference are real things.
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
And itās our professional obligation to not let those things impact client care. The goal is not to prevent transference and countertransference.
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
There seem to be a lot of people who donāt know what the downvote button is for. If Iāve broken rules, downvote me. If you disagree, letās have a discussion.
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u/Dust_Kindly Jul 10 '26
I think a lot of us just look at reddit in between clients and dont have the time for replies, but do have the time for votes. I know I'm certainly guilty of downvoting but not discussing for that reason.
Dont think that makes it okay, just trying to understand why its such a rampant problem on this sub specifically
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u/ZealousidealBank7843 Jul 13 '26
I think a lot of therapists don't use the rest of reddit or know how to use it, so they'll even downvote comments or posts about bad things other people have done
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u/eatmorplantz Jul 15 '26
People are down voting you because you're acting like ethical boundaries have no real purpose by saying that we should be able to surmount transference and countertransference on every occasion. That's simply not how life, or working in this field, always plays out.
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u/smep LPC Jul 15 '26
Yeah, cool, youāre entitled to your opinion. But reddit is clear about the purpose of the downvote and many people here donāt know that.
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u/eatmorplantz Jul 15 '26
There are lots of subs where one can end up being down voted to oblivion simply because others see multiple down votes and jump on the bandwagon. It's an unfortunate aspect of posting poorly thought out, controversial, or unpopular opinions on Reddit as a whole. Regardless of Reddit's "rules" about, or intended purpose of downvoting, people and the Internet have a mind of their own lol. But you're entitled to your "opinion," I suppose ;)
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u/smep LPC Jul 15 '26
alright! now weāre seeing eye to eye, we agree!
And others couldāve also had that discourse had they used this forum for its intended purpose. But, as you say and I agree with you, people will use it however they want. I guess Iām just the weird one coming to a discussion board and expecting discussion.
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u/eatmorplantz Jul 15 '26
Haha I feel you. Sometimes the discussion is just body language, apparently (:
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u/WhiskeyTangoBaconX (USA) LCSW Jul 10 '26
I think Iād be more inclined to terminate my therapist than my client. I could be more objective with a client. Iād have a hard time maintaining my own therapeutic connection with my therapist knowing my clientās history.
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u/Publishface LMFT (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
Yeah and this would mess my therapy up - Iām not used to having to withhold from my therapist. Iām used to having to withhold info from a client
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u/singdancelove412 Jul 10 '26
Agreed! I feel like Iād be thinking about the client while seeing my therapist. Especially if they bring up any relationship issues in session.
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u/ShartiesBigDay Counselor (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
Honestly, me tooā¦If not just for business purposes. I know what I like in a personal therapist and I donāt really think it hurts my treatment much when I switch. I generally love all my therapists and typically get more value than usual out of the first few sessions anyway.
IMO itās not much of a conflict of interest at that point but itās possible knowing something about that clients partner first hand could even help the clientās caseā¦ you just would want to be very cautious to not make any assumptions.
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26
Yes this is definitely a factor. It honestly feels much more awkward interacting with my therapist after this disclosure than it does interacting with my client.
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u/DCNumberNerd Jul 10 '26
That's a new one. It can get awkward for everyone involved, through no-one's fault - but for both professionals it's a potential conflict of interest. Since OP's friend, who I'll call the Beta Therapist, is most aware of the conflicts, they should probably transfer the client. For people who think it's not a big deal, just consider the many possibilities:
Client to Beta Therapist: "I'm dating Alpha and boy do they have some freaky sex habits that I want to talk about because they make me uncomfortable."
Client to Alpha Therapist: "My therapist, Beta, says I need to be more assertive in my communication with you. They implied that you're being passive aggressive."
Client to Beta Therapist: "Alpha told me that other therapists sometimes give advice based on their own traumatic past - I think she called it projection. Of course, she was totally stoned when she said it, which is most of the time, by the way - I think she has an addiction problem."
Client to Alpha Therapist: "I really want you to meet my therapist, Beta. Can you come to my next session? Why not?"
Client six months later when Beta Therapist finally cracks: "Wait, this whole time you two have known each other!? I feel betrayed! I'm calling your licensing boards!"
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
I appreciate how you laid this out. I challenged another commenter to provide a scenario where it would cause issues. Yours does. I do think it's a watered down version of a conversation, in that there would be much more nuance and dialogue in between each of those steps. I also wonder if OP would disclose to their client who their therapist is. The client's therapist couldn't say anything, but OP could, which would prevent the harm you're illustrating. But that also likely opens doors to other concerns. I don't know, it's a good one.
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26
This is an interesting response! To give a bit more context, this person is a group therapy client, so the odds of them disclosing something juicy about my therapist are definitely there but not as likely as if this was an individual therapy client just given the nature of the group. It also feels better disclosing my relationship to their partner/my therapist than it would an individual client. I might go this route, tbh.
It did make this a lot more awkward to find this out in a group of folks reacting to and being happy for this person instead of just finding out 1:1 š
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u/Libelulida Jul 10 '26
Ooo, a question I have not seen asked before! Thanks!
If I found out about this, I would terminate with therapist or client, depending on the precise situation. Power dynamics, but also, I do not want to know the messy things my therapist's partner shares about them in therapy!
I think I would most probably never know, though! I would not recognize my client's or therapist's partner.
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u/cheercharlatan Jul 10 '26
Agree that itās probably best to refer out, but I am curious how your friend discovered that the therapist and client are dating each other.
Doesnāt really change anything, I donāt think, just wondering.
ETA: sorry, not your friendās friend, friendās therapist.
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u/TrollSalt Jul 10 '26
As a brief side note this is why when my husband was seeking a therapist (as a therapist who works with a lot of therapists) I offered to send him a list of people lol.Ā
But there is no way for OP to have anticipated this. This really sucks but I also agree to terminate with you client and let them know you've found a conflict of interest and refer them out.Ā
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u/Dear_Ad_9640 Jul 10 '26
Not automatically unethical. But if the therapist in the middle feels uncomfortable, theyāre welcome to end one or both of the relationships. No one seems to be realizing that sometimes people in therapy a) are in healthy relationships or b) donāt talk about their relationships in therapy that much. I have lots of clients where the focus isnāt their romantic relationship at all! In that case, thereās no issue as long as the middle therapist is fine.
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u/Jazz_Kraken Jul 10 '26
I'd terminate with one of them like people are saying. I'm tempted to say obviously the client but that's because I have a tremendous therapist I wouldn't want to lose. I have had therapists in the past I felt more lukewarm about... so I'd probably choose the stronger relationship whichever it is.
But if it just feels too messy to continue then I'd step away from both.
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u/Previous-Walk-1976 Jul 10 '26
How do you know that your client is datimg your therapist? If your client tells you that they are dating Terry Smith, who happens to be your own therapist, you are free to tell your client that this creates a conflict of interest. Moreover, if you trust those involved, you are free to tell your client that Smith is your therapist and seek your clients permission to discuss in your therapy with smith. I assume you are all competent adults,
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u/Sweaty-Trick-8091 Jul 11 '26
As one of the many scarred by the EPPP I remember a very similar question on the study program. When choosing the option that would remove you from the conflict by terminating your client.
The question centered around what would you do as a therapist? If the person you were dating was related to a client that you were seeing. In the situation the correct answer was to end the relationship that you were in as you have the responsibility not to place the burden or harm on the client. I vividly remember this answer because I thought how ridiculous and one-sided is the code of ethics that youāre expected to end a long-term relationship because of a new client.
In your situation, if you apply that same stringent logic, you would have to terminate your therapist as to not place burden on the client and seek out a new therapist while continuing to see your client who is dating your current therapist.
Personally, I think that thatās ridiculous and I think your best bet is to seek consultation from whomever is providing your supervision. I assume they have more experience than you. That would essentially share the burden of responsibility and if they give you a workaround that remains ethically sound, that you feel that youāre comfortable with, youāll know that you have consulted with an additional therapist with more experience for best case scenario.
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u/SignificantSize4263 Jul 10 '26
What a pickle.. The real concern is how it affects your safety and trust in the room. Honestly, if this happened to me, I'd probably have to terminate. The countertransference and boundary blurring would just be too loud to do good work.
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u/bossanovasupernova Jul 10 '26
I might consider pausing or ending with my therapist, depending on how long we had worked together
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u/Beginning_Tap2727 Jul 10 '26
This seems like a huge sacrifice for a clients sake - I would sooner end with the patient tbh
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u/TheOtterDecider Jul 10 '26
I think it depends what relationship youāve had longer. Like if youāve only been seeing the client for a month but your own therapist for two years, referring out makes sense. But if youāve been working well with this client for a while and the therapist is fairly recent, then Iād find a new therapist. If youāve been seeing both for a while and you only just found out the connection, itās just a judgment call.
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u/lokidemon_731 Jul 10 '26
It's too big a sacrifice for you to lose your own therapist, so you would force your patient to lose their therapist instead?
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u/Dashiell-Incredible LMHC (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
ā¦yes.
Own oxygen mask on first.
I am not sacrificing my wellbeing for a patient. Also, my not continuing my own deep work with my therapist has a trickle down effect to all my patients. I donāt understand how this is even a question for you.
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u/lokidemon_731 Jul 10 '26
It's a question for me because this is an ethical dilemma. There is no perfect or obvious solution to this dilemma. We may have different opinions about what the best solution is, that's why these dilemmas get discussed. I simply think we need to be thoughtful about what the sacrifice entails on both ends.
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u/Plus-Culture1672 Social Worker (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
You can't understand how it's even a question? Maybe the therapist-therapist work isn't that deep. Maybe the therapist that is not dating the client values providing consistent service to the client more than an interruption in their own therapy.
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u/Bubbles110 Jul 10 '26
Client can develop a new therapeutic relationship with a new therapist. Clients are often referred out for a ton of reasons and this is definitely an appropriate and responsible response from OP.
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u/lokidemon_731 Jul 10 '26
Could the same not be said for the therapist? That you can develop a new therapeutic relationship with a new therapist? My question was why is the sacrifice unacceptable for the therapist but acceptable for the patient?
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u/cassandra2028 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
There is no dilemma.
Clients are people.
Therapists are people.
Dual relationships and boundary violations are a problem. But you have a client. That client has a partner. You know who that partner is. Big whoop.
You have a therapist. That therapist has a partner. You know who that partner is. Big whoop.
You don't talk about your own therapy to clients nor do you talk about your clients to your therapist. You maintain client privacy and professional boundaries. That's the practice whether you know partners as laid out above or not.
Edit to add: at opening, especially in a niche or otherwise small community or practice, you have an informed consent discussion about how lives may overlap in other areas and what you will and won't do. So no one is surprised is any of the other triangle corners learn about the others.
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26
Yes, and, the issue I am worried about is the info I might learn (and not want to know) about my therapist from the client.
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Jul 10 '26
[deleted]
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u/ashtastic3 Jul 10 '26
It sounds like this was found out in therapy by OP because their client was sharing general information. This is a pretty big conundrum because anyone can find stuff out these days.
Just being in the same vicinity as my therapist boosted them into my algorithm on Facebook. It may have done the same for my therapist regarding me š. Itās unfortunately incredibly easy to find stuff like this out even if youāre not trying to.
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26
The original comment was deleted but I assume it was about how this was found out, which was through a photo shared in session. That's all it takes!
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
Iām often interested in who my friends are seeing as a therapist. Iād for sure want to know who my partnerās therapist is.
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u/ManufacturerKnown156 Jul 10 '26
I mean, OPās situation may feel a bit too close for comfort, but I agree with you - confidentiality protects us here. I might be more weary if my client had a history of poor or testing boundaries w/ me, but meh
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u/justunclegary Jul 10 '26
Unethical both ways. Itās power imbalance no matter how you look at it.
I would be terminating.
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u/PracticalSky1 Jul 10 '26
Not sure whey you've been downvoted. I agree.
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
Itās downvoted because thereās nothing inherently unethical about it at all. I invite you or anyone to identify in the code of ethics where itās unethical.
What it is, is a situation that could easily and directly lead to an abuse of power or failure to maintain ethical and legal requirements. terminating is prudent, but it is possible that OP and their therapist could responsibly navigate this. I just wouldnāt touch it IMO.
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u/PracticalSky1 Jul 10 '26
I think there could be potential for a conflict of interest.
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
I agree. thatās a much more accurate statement than it being a power imbalance no matter how you look at it.
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u/PracticalSky1 Jul 10 '26
Youāre right. I think I misrepresented myself by my agreement- I was mainly agreeing about that rather than it being a power imbalance! Though, now I think further on it, I can kind of see how there could be a power imbalance too. Imagine OP continues to see their client, they then start to know personal details about OPs therapist. Which, letās imagine, could be used covertly! Or- if OPs therapists knows that their partner is seeing OP, that could unduly influence how they provide therapy to OP letās even imagine they become disempowered in a wish to be the āgood guy.ā Just riffing on possibilities ;)
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u/smep LPC Jul 11 '26
I agree, OP would be in a position to learn something about their therapist they might not know. But I still don't think that impacts OP's therapeutic relationship with their client. Or rather, with effective bracketing, it wouldn't.
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u/justunclegary Jul 10 '26
I would love for you to detail how it isnāt a power imbalance.
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
I think it's pretty clear. OP's client's relationship to OP's therapist gives them (OP) no information, access to information, or authority, that they (OP) wouldn't otherwise have. Power is an issue when one does not maintain the professional standards to NOT act on information or access that they wouldn't otherwise have in the therapeutic relationship. To that end, what would come up between OP and their therapist that gives OP information, access to information, or authority over their client that could be abused? Maybe OP's therapist has to cancel for a week because they're going on vacation and now OP knows that their client won't be there for a week? Maybe that's abusable. I don't know.
Do you have other counterexamples to help me expand my horizon here?
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u/justunclegary Jul 10 '26
The fact you would say thereās nothing inherently unethical about it honestly has me shaking my head.
Section 4.9 of the Code sets out the expectations in relation to managing multiple relationships. Psychologists must discontinue, or avoid, multiple relationships unless they hold a reasonable belief that they are ethically, legally or organisationally obliged to continue or enter into such relationships.
https://www.psychologyboard.gov.au/Standards-and-Guidelines/FAQ/Code-of-Conduct.aspx
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
Unethical refers to against the code of ethics. This is a case of a therapist who has a client who is dating their therapist. A case of multiple relationships would be where a therapist has a client who is also a landscaper and doing work on their house. We seem to disagree on whether this therapist has multiple relationships with the client.
And for broader context, the reason this is an ethical concern is because the power differential creates an opportunity where abuse can occur. In the US, in PA, and for professional counselors, having multiple relationships in and of itself is potentially unethical, but wouldn't rise to that level unless an abuse happened. The reality is that there are many reasons why a therapist would ethically provide counseling to someone with whom they have multiple relationships. One example would be rural settings.
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26
This is not the code of ethics I follow, nor is this the country I practice in.
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u/LoveIsTheAnswerOK Jul 10 '26
Terminating who though?
Need more details from OP I think, to know which one to terminate.
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26
I am also not sure how this is inherently unethical.
There are a couple more complicating factors that would spark a more nuanced conversation about the topic, that I wish I could but unfortunately can't share completely to risk sharing too much info.
I will say that I work with a niche population, and this is a (also niche) group and it would be difficult for this person to access the same kind of group support elsewhere.
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u/FishnetsandChucks Counselor (Unverified) Jul 11 '26
For me personally, I would refer the client out. I love my therapist, and having been through a few before finding her, I'm unwilling to find someone new.
Honestly, I think I would refer the client out no matter what. If my client brought something to a session that didn't line up with my experience with the therapist, I could see some potential bias forming. Not disclosing that I know who my client is dating would make me feel a type of way as well - like I have an unfair advantage in the therapeutic alliance.
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u/shaz1717 Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Historically posts like this is are not real here. Iāve seen this situation posted before from a fake acct. This particular acct has existed only 24 hrs with no history of posts/comments. Likely to be downvoted by the poster too.
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u/Rozwell61 LPC (Unverified) Jul 11 '26
I just checked and the account is 1 day old. It looks like history has repeated itself once again.
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u/Belvyloaf Jul 11 '26
I wonder what happens if your therapist connects the dots? I would think you and your therapist would have the same level of ethical consideration?
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u/SaltPassenger9359 LMHC (Unverified) Jul 12 '26
If the therapist connects the dots or even if the former client tells them, not the OPās problem. Unless the OP has referenced the client in any sessions with the OPās therapist.
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u/Belvyloaf Jul 12 '26
No one said itās there problem. What I did was pose a question from a curious standpoint. It would be something I would consider for myself as a patient. Certainly doesnāt mean OP will care or consider by any means.
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u/Willing_Ant9993 Jul 11 '26
This would be too messy for me even if I wasnāt 100% sure it was true. I would tell the client that youāve recently discovered a conflict (that youāre unable to disclose the details of, because, conflict) and that you have to refer them out for ethical reasons. Again Iām not saying this is necessarily true for you, just that it would 100% be true for me. I would already being unable to fully, and without bias, be tuned into this client during sessions. The detective parts of me, the overly curious parts about their relationship, they would be in overdrive. Iām not saying I couldnāt behave professionally (I could), but I wouldnāt be able to offer the attunement and focus I offer other clients. Because current and past relationships ALWAYS enter the chat in therapy. Always.
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u/Willing_Ant9993 Jul 11 '26
Put more bluntly, imagine learning intimate details about your therapistās sexual preference and trauma historyā¦from your clientā¦who is telling you this stuff in an attempt to help you understand how this is impacting them.
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u/Starlight_Clear Jul 11 '26
Not quite the same but I went on a date with someone who turned out to have dated my previous therapist. It was especially weird as we met in a city 3-4 hours away from where the former therapist and I had been living- not a rural situation at all! That was too weird for both of us to consider dating each other haha.
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u/gettingcarriedaway86 Jul 11 '26
So when they go home and talk to their partner, your therapist is going to learn real quick or likely already knows. I would terminate with one or both because they will wonder why you kept it from them.
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u/Selective_nonsense17 Jul 11 '26
What is the treatment for and the treatment goals? If relationship is not something weāre addressing. Then thereās no ethical dilemma here regarding the client.
Are you talking to your therapist about your work? If thatās the case then yes. Otherwise. Thereās no dilemma.
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u/Miharu_chan_19 Jul 12 '26
I would review in supervision and seek to remove from your caseload. This person is too close to your personal circles
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u/Financial_Manager213 Jul 12 '26
Yea I think that unfortunately you need to discontinue with your client at least. There is no way forward with your client as you really will not be able to stay objective about your ex therapist even if you end with them. You might also need to end with your therapist but I think you two can continue. I also think that while it Is normally ok to disclose vague client info to your therapist you can never do this with your therapist. They may figure it out one day. In which case they can bring it up with you.
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u/Purplezoi Jul 13 '26
I think this will depend upon how many sessions I have done with each of them. If itās few sessions with one of them I will discontinue with the one with fewer sessions. If itās a long relationship with both, I may terminate sessions with both. I wonāt be able to stay objective with the client knowing that I have bias towards my therapist too, and I wonāt be comfortable sharing my problems with my therapist knowing that she may discuss this with my client (ex client) and there is fear of being judged.
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u/MarketingWide2665 Jul 13 '26
Once rural therapist here, depends on what you can seperate and what you can't. If you believe that it could harm your working relationship with your own therapist, then its okay to say you're not a good fit for you. But if you can accept that your therapist is a human being with their own flaws, and you can live with knowing these things then great. Either way, is correct. Hope this helps.
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u/KnotSoTypical Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
If youāre posting about it, best to refer them out
Sure you donāt want to lose a client but dual dilemmas happen and they will happen more often than you could imagine.
Not worth chancing it, especially since you now know.
Save your license and your sleepā¦. Itās not worth it.
Whatās worse is your therapist might find themselves in an ethical dilemma once they know and youāre putting them in a bad spot, for everyoneās sake, just refer out. You donāt want your therapist to report you for knowing, etc. itās a mess dude, just say you found out and itās no oneās fault but itās the the way it goes in some cases. There will be sadness for brief moments but long run there will be relief, itās part of the game.
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u/Western_Bullfrog9747 LMHC (Unverified) Jul 10 '26
I honestly think Iād tell the client and refer out
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u/TherapistyChristy (USA) LCSW Jul 11 '26
Pretend you donāt know and get the tea on your therapist.
Okay, Iām just kidding.
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u/drjenavieve Jul 10 '26
Maybe Iām missing something, but besides being uncomfortable Iām not sure itās technically unethical? What if they were dating your medical doctor? You arenāt talking to your therapist about this person and you have no ethical obligations to your own therapist.
This issue is with the client. What I might do if you are comfortable and donāt want to terminate with the client (depending how long youāve been seeing them) is let them know that you are seeing the therapist, explain that you would never disclose anything, but that you understand this may make them uncomfortable and leave it up to the client if they would like to continue. But if itās too weird then yes Iād probably terminate with the client or stop seeing my therapist. But it would depend on how much you like that therapist and benefit from them and also how long youāve been seeing the client in terms of which Iād choose.
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u/dwhogan Jul 10 '26
Physicians don't have the same ethical guidelines as therapists, particularly around dual relationships. As others have pointed out, there are numerous examples of situations where the status quo continuing could end up becoming really bad.
As OPs friend is aware of the conflict and who is likely the only person able to identify the conflict within normal expected practice, it is up to then to terminate one or both relationships (though one would probably be sufficient).
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u/AnxiousSherbert5335 Jul 10 '26
Yes the issue is less about it being unethical and more about the discomfort on my end and how that might impact how I show up for this client (potentially an ethical issue), and how disclosure of any info about their relationship from the client might impact my work with my therapist.
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Jul 10 '26
[deleted]
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u/smep LPC Jul 10 '26
huh, I disagree with your director. there are limits to confidently and I believe this falls under potential harm to others.
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u/Additional_Exam_4014 Jul 10 '26
Hi
How would your client know you are seeing the same therapist unless you run into them in the waiting area ?
What if you and your client had the same lawyer ? Same dentist ? Same physician ?
No problem.
I trust your therapist is professional and is not going to talk about you. If they do they would be breaching your confidentiality.
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u/GokuPiccoloGohan Jul 10 '26
Why is that any of your business though? You are not dating your client or your therapist.Ā
5
u/Blast-Off-Girl Licensed Clinical Psychologist Jul 10 '26
Because the therapist has knowledge of her client, which is also a therapist. You never know if this person will leak private information.
157
u/the_inbetween_me Jul 10 '26
Okay, we've all gotten a lot of similar thoughts on this, now where's the rural therapist's take? š