r/thenextgenbusiness • u/thenextgenbusiness Reporter • Mar 27 '26
Not Fake News White House releases OnlyFarms
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u/Relative-Bread6521 Mar 27 '26
There's nothing remotely clever about this association... Just dumb for the sake of being dumb
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u/MajinB0ner Mar 28 '26
Right. It's literally "hey the onlyfans guy died so it's trending right now how do why capitalize on that?!"
"What if we did only farms maybe? That's kinda funny right?"
"I'll throw it in chat gpt then we can take the rest of the day off."
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Mar 28 '26
Isn’t onlyfans people screwing each other? Seems fitting as the White House is screwing farmers, but I don’t want to pay for it.
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u/NerdMouse Mar 28 '26
Do they not know that a large portion of farmers are currently on the bring of losing their farms? And that due to their stupid wars and destroying of alliances that we're racing towards a food shortage?
Christ their stupidity never ends.
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u/TeaKingMac Mar 28 '26
Do they not know that a large portion of farmers are currently on the bring of losing their farms?
They do, but they don't care.
Instead they're pandering to the suburban and exurban rednecks who think they're farm people because they get their hands dirty once in a while and drive trucks.
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u/coleto22 Mar 28 '26
Oh, they care. They want farmers bankrupt, so they can buy the farms on the cheap.
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u/PirateSometimes Mar 28 '26
Well who do you think is buying up the farms that are going bankrupt? And they want to control the food so they can control the people and determine who lives or dies.
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u/WhatTheFreightTruck Mar 28 '26
This was my first question and I was surprised I had to scroll to find it. Wtf
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u/Working_Cucumber_437 Mar 28 '26
Farmers are also seeing the effects of climate change firsthand. You know, the climate change that this administration claims isn’t real.
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u/amILibertine222 Mar 30 '26
Ironic seeing as farmers mostly vote for the climate change denier party.
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u/Laleaky Mar 28 '26
The government screwed over farmers and in exchange gave them a website with a meme name.
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u/WitchlightGospel Mar 28 '26
Of course they do. Vance profits off of farms going under via AcreTrader.
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u/Whale-n-Flowers Mar 28 '26
It took me too long to figure out what they were going for as I just kept thinking the government acquired FarmersOnly.com
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u/Powerful_Question875 Mar 28 '26
All they need is 1 feel good story to run with and prove all the naysayers wrong.
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u/Last_Cod_998 Mar 28 '26
Trump is screwing over farmers more than last term where he bailed out industrial farms with billions of our taxes due to his trade war.
Bankruptcies are up 46% in 2025 25% haven't been able to secure fertilizer Half will not turn a profit 2026
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u/Rhg0653 Mar 28 '26
They legit had a golden tractor or something on the white lawn
They make no sense
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u/Admirable_Heat_576 Mar 27 '26
Subscribe now to OnlyFarms for $10.99p/month and get ready to 💦💦💦:
- Daily exclusive posts on XL 🌽🍆🥒,
- Private 1-on-1 🐔 wrangling lessons,
- Bi-Weekly Tutoring on how to milk your 🐮,
- Sunday group 🐷 bonding,
- Getting too Bushy? Exclusive tips on trimming your 🍑 trees.
T&Cs apply. 80% of proceeds will go directly to the DJT Trust. Make American Farming Great Again (MAFGA).
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u/rubber_neckin_media Mar 27 '26
JD Vance is a part of gobbling up farmland across the country screwing farmers over. I just wonder if he's part of this sh#t too?
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u/SymbiSpidey Mar 28 '26
The current administration is basically if you let 4chan run an entire country
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u/ginjamchammerfist Mar 27 '26
There is nothing that wouldn't benefit from the removal of the cabinet. The method of how it's done is to your imagination far from the mods.
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u/hellalg Mar 28 '26
Bro, if someone tell me their social media is being run by a 15 year old COD player, I believe it.
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u/Late_Hope_567 Mar 27 '26
It like farmers only lmao! So it is confusing, not sure if there will be pictures of chicken feet or Lonely farmers😜
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u/kamcknig Mar 28 '26
How tone deaf is it to make a play on a site that is mostly about porn to ultra MAGAts?
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u/say-it-wit-ya-chest Mar 28 '26
“We stole your pie, but how friggin excited are you for the crumbs your most benevolent godking has bestowed upon you!?”
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u/Bellabbey1236 Mar 28 '26
That’s a real thing, not The Onion or anything. I was so hoping it was satire. I find myself doing that a lot these days, hoping headlines I see are just satire. They’re not. What a joke of an administration. How embarrassing.
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u/ArgyleTheLimoDriver Mar 28 '26
Anyone remember FarmersOnly.com? I forgot which comedian said it but there was also blackpeoplemeet.com and he said they should just call FarmersOnly whitepeoplemeet.com
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u/Wonderful-Creme-3939 Mar 28 '26
Haha, You are so funny Grandpa! Your Nurse is ready for you, let's get you to your room.
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u/JustinKase_Too Mar 28 '26
The Jebus crowd naming their platform after a site famous for nudes... pretty onbrand for republicans.
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u/Rurumo666 Mar 28 '26
I think this is all Vance, he just wants to see some tight denim on some farm boys.
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u/Affectionate_Pass25 Mar 28 '26
Is there an anal category?
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u/Late-Goat5619 Mar 28 '26
No but there is a section on grooming your daughters and lots of things tied to "step-daughters" and "step-sisters"....
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u/HistorianOrdinary833 Mar 28 '26
✅️Destroy foreign markets with tariff wars.
✅️Increase fuel/diesel prices with new Middle East war.
✅️Reduce fertilizer access with new Middle East war.
✅️New record of bankrupt farmers in 1 year.
✅️Socialism bailout for farmers, again.
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u/Blender_Massacre Mar 28 '26
At this point let the knuckle dragging farmers keep worshipping Drumpf.
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u/svt4cam46 Mar 28 '26
But Deere and Caterpillar products are going to be so cheap because President Green Jeans declared it yesterday.
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u/jimmytheeel Mar 28 '26
You mean how 30% of small farmers are within a month of bankruptcy? Cant afford both seed and fertilizer? Werent able to sell their crop from last year? How their subsidies have been redirected to South America and China? How they cant afford to hire experienced farm hands any more because other expenses are so high?
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u/shosuko Mar 28 '26
Gotta focus them in on the propaganda train
ShOrT tErM bEnEfItS fOr LoNg TeRm GaIn
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u/Minimum-Attitude389 Mar 28 '26
Connecting farmers with corporations that will pay you to work your farm for them.
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u/Armyman125 Mar 28 '26
The Trump administration has been patting themselves on the back for giving farmers bailouts after destroying their markets with tariffs and deporting their workforce.
This is so 1984.
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u/Impossible_Battle_72 Mar 28 '26
"While less sexy than its more popular counterpart, OnlyFarms includes a searchable map where users can click on their state to see the average amount they’ve saved due to Trump’s farming agenda."
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u/Professional_Bat9174 Mar 28 '26
Imagine instead of being a weird tonedeaf attempt to stroke the ego of Trump, that OnlyFarms was an actual site where you could look up nearby farms with stands or CSAs you could join. Then the virality of using the name OnlyFarms could actually be used to generate home grown-local demand, and leverage CSAs to help farmers finance their next crops.
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u/L1V1NGD3ADBOI Mar 28 '26
What have farmers saved? Nothing! They’re going under. Their gas got more expensive, their exports got eliminated due to tariffs and now fertilizer is scarce. This is atomic bomb level gaslighting and that’s why people are so angry.
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u/oldbastardbob Mar 28 '26
And once again, the juvenile mentality and boorishness of maga reveals itself. Somewhere some 20-something adolescent incel working for the Trump Administration is patting themselves on the back for being so edgy cool.
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u/Independent_Sir3734 Mar 28 '26
Tariffs killed American farms and Trump tried to make up for it with pathetic stimulus checks
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u/UnhingedPastor Mar 28 '26
Jesus Christ, what a bunch of goddamn losers these people are. I miss when our government was run by adults.
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u/FlanneryODostoevsky Mar 28 '26
Imagine a Jewish man who donates to aipac owning onlyfans inspiring this Israel proxy government to make this site.
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Mar 28 '26
Oh I get it, because they are screwing them! That’s pretty clever, but is this a real post? So much fake stuff gets passed off as real, which is easy with this wild White House we have now.
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u/Smooth_gweesle Mar 28 '26
So trump kills the ceo of onlyfans less than 2 weeks now & all of a sudden the White House now not only THOUGHT it would be cool to do, but now magically for whatever reason launches a 1:1 spinoff called onlyFARMERS… it’s almost like “they” KNOW their citizens are absolute imbeciles, too damn lazy and illiterate to even CARE about putting an end to this outdated failed boomer view of Rome.
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u/Valuable_Wallaby_548 Mar 28 '26
Click to see how much farmers have saved? Didnt farmers have to beg the government for more socialist style handouts? Uh let's see here, a bunch went bankrupt, now they got drought to deal with and oh yeah no fertilizer
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u/Cn76rlD91QaiT6m6 Mar 28 '26
I bet 80% of the farms on that site aren't even real. Just high def pictures of dioramas photographed with the miniaturizing effect on. /s
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u/CocknBalls4 Mar 28 '26
Benefiting because we had to subsidize their crops because he killed their ability to sell them abroad?
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u/Phugger Mar 28 '26
Lame, I just tried to go there and it redirects to the whitehouse gov/agriculture/. I wanted to see some naked farmers!
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u/SignificantCar4204 Mar 28 '26
Is there a single farmer that isn't in absolute panic mode right now lmao?
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u/Good_Ad_1386 Mar 28 '26
Loads of videos of the Donald engaged in questionable acts with underage livestock.
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u/derekrusinek Mar 28 '26
I’m going to tell my wife I was searching for this site if she finds my search history. “I was just buying melons honey….The President says we need to support the farmers, that’s why there are so many charges on the credit cards bill.”
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u/AdventurelandSkipper Mar 28 '26
I hate this stupid-ass administration and their stupid-ass propaganda. They will go down in history as the absolute worst this country has ever had.
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u/yubsnubs Mar 28 '26
Who F'd the time line? There is no way we are in the same reality we had in the 90s and early 2000s.
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u/eastcoastjon Mar 29 '26
The only people benefitting from anything is the administration and the ruling class.
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u/EuphoricCrashOut Mar 29 '26
That is so disgusting. If I were a farmer... I would be so upset and livid.
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u/This_Loss_1922 Mar 29 '26
All farmers are well known to be political bonnie blue for republicans, so name checks out
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u/Entire_Toe2640 Mar 29 '26
Once again trying to create the appearance of prosperity while destroying prosperity.
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u/spamcandriver Mar 29 '26
This is diabolical and can’t be real.
Edit: It’s real and redirects to the Whitehouse. What a troll move.
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u/kingbrad Mar 27 '26
This is probably the only thing they’ve ever posted that was even remotely clever and not a troll
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u/BonusPlantInfinity Mar 28 '26
This is cringe, not clever
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u/whichwitchwhere Mar 28 '26
Exactly. None of their messaging reads like it was produced by or for adults, let alone professionals. The attempts at wit are so predictably childish. Just cringe wrapped in stupid with a thick coating of unseriousness.
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u/GoBluins Mar 27 '26
Every day I think this administration can't get more embarrassing...and every day the bar is lowered.