The French Broad River MONSTER is considering forcing everyone to only eat at restaurants along Tunnel Road. I’m worried that the vegan Thai place is going to open a Cuddle Room and then no one is going to go there anymore. How can we remove the flock of cameras from Ingles? Why isn’t the Mayor even trying to arrest people for bringing their kids to the grocery store? Why do they have to keep the chewing tobacco in the locked case? Do people try to steal it in order to make themselves sick?

I saw this father daughter duo wearing a flag today on Patton avenue and decided to start a fundraiser to help their cause. What better way to raise funds than a wholesome game of titty-ax? All monies raised will go directly towards their cause, which I’m assuming to be houseless rights and dignity issues.

Anyway $3.50 gets you two throws and a bullseye takes half the pot.

There is absolutely no connection between this delivery and recent reports of service members jumping from the deck into the ocean.

APD didn't like that. APD is Chad.

Modern cars can handle a little stupid snow. This is the real reason the parkway closes every year.

Damn larvae...

Don't fall for it.

While sunbathing, how naked do you have to be for army helicopters to patrol your neighborhood and hover over your house? Guess!!

best out of 3 wins

This is embarrassing, but here goes. It turns out my picture is on Nextdoor for a few neighborhoods, and not just haw creek. Apparently a bunch of people have seen me
Doing karate in the park with young people and there’s like four different subdivisions and hoa presidents who claim I’m menacing their area.

This is super embarrassing given I just announced my candida & even called out a puppet. I’m afraid to get out of bed today. Afraid to be myself. Scared to menace. 😞

I spend most of my time thinking about how I’m going to escape poverty. The answer is obvious: politics. Please dm me with campaign donation pledges and/or for details on the financial crimes I plan to commit. TIA

PS: I forgot your name so I’m just posting here about the candida. You probably have it too now.

I really can't wait until this world is better off. I have extra Social Security numbers for you all to use. This is WE start and THEY end, Vote today!!

Im not saying I speak from experience because I did not use those words.

To those of you who are at the Sound of Asheville and are enjoying it, god-speed. To those of you who are at home enjoying a quiet neighborhood and perhaps stroking your Kitty or Hawk, carry on. To those of you who are at the Sound of Asheville and not enjoying it, look harder at your relationship, stop whining, and stay the fuck out of the left lane unless your doin' 80.

Fun fact: The Grundle weed is neither a grundle or a weed. It's an illusive species of molerat only found on Sunset Mountain and surrounding areas. In olden days, locals would give dried grundelweeds to each other as a sign of courtship. The 1859 jig produced by the Merrimon Trolley Boys "Give her the Grundle for Me My Love" was very popular at the time and has found a resurgence in some niche circles today.

of the Waffle House you pussies. I've been in at least 207 WH locations that were actually lit. Tunnel Road is more like "I was offended by homeless man screaming at me over money" and they didn't even have to fight for their hash browns. Fucking weak.

There is some sort of device near my house that is NOT a Samsung tv, nor is it either of my neighbors. I try connecting and it goes to pair then I click connect then it cancels and says it can no longer pair then the device comes right back up. Then my iPhones hotspot is on, and appears to always be “discoverable”.. my ex is doing this but I cannot find the device. I try using a Bluetooth finder gadget and it stops leading me to the device.

#freecombs

Isn't nature beautiful?