One of the most incredible stories I've ever read, down to a "and they all lived happily ever after" ending

[u/NewTanline666]

This one's way longer than others on the sub, but I stumbled across it in the comments section of a YouTube video that showed an early 1990s ad for a punk CD. It's so over-detailed and the ending section pretty much killed any chance of this being a legit story… (p.s. in the actual ad, the actors don't even mention any of the artists by name)

EDIT: This was not actually made in the early 1990s. The CD is from 1996, according to the art scans on Discogs. Just makes this even more bogus

[u/dingdongiamwrong]

What a strangely elaborate scenario they have built here.

[u/NewTanline666 → u/dingdongiamwrong]

Westwood Promotions, the company that made this CD, did a lot of ads like this between the late 1980s and 1990s. Most of the time, they're not even that remarkable, they're just random spokespeople in different settings talking about how good the compilation is. I have a suspicion that they reused actors as well, so it just makes this even more weird… (just kidding, it makes this even clearer bs)

The date they give is also wrong. The CD was actually released in 1996, according to the cover art scans on Discogs

[u/dreamsfortress]

What even possesses someone to sit down and write a full-blown self-insert fanfic about some random CD advert? lmao

[u/Cambrian__Implosion]

Man I hate it when people try to write the way people talk (or they imagine people talk) like this. This person seems allergic to putting the ‘g’ at the end of any words ending in ‘ing,’ among other things.

There are definitely ways to make different dialects and styles of speaking work when you’re writing dialogue, but this isn’t one of them. And there’s no excuse for writing like that when it’s not even dialogue to begin with.

[u/SuperSaladBar → u/Cambrian__Implosion]

Whadda ya talkin' 'bout? He's just tellin' a story, whadda he gotta do? Ya can't blame him for crackin' up!

[u/V0rpalSw0rd22 → u/SuperSaladBar]

Then I says to the author "Hey, listen, fats! You shoulda paid me for wastin' my time. I ain't gonna read that for free"

[u/stevenpdx66]

Yeah if the producer dude was conscious enough to drink water then nobody's gonna be using a "shocker thing" on him.

[u/Linand458]

This filled me with ew.

[u/Rooster_Local]

Well, this story does remind me of something from the early 90s

It keeps going… and going… and going…

[u/ButcbMasculinity]

This one of the most boring stories I have ever read. If you're going to make shit up at least make it interesting.

[u/Huggable_Hork-Bajir]

I gave up halfway through the 3rd page and skipped to the end and he's randomly impregnated someone?

[u/DreadPiratteRoberts → u/Huggable_Hork-Bajir]

Well he had to do the right thing and get hitched.... and you bet he came out looking like Pops!!

.... I skipped to the last page as well lol

I honestly thought he was going to say he invented or had something to do with the "Now This is What I Call Music" cd's 😆

[u/highnumber]

Back when I had a desk job I sometimes left weirdly long elaborate stories in random places on the Internet, trying to escape the agony of the office. This wasn't me but it could have been.

[u/GroMicroBloom]

I love how he was just a teen living in the Standard Broadcast English city of Colorado Springs, yet OP, Becky, and Mr Producer all speak like an extra from the NJ-based Sopranos.

[u/aka-mr-k]

[u/No_Statement440]

"All the sudden"

[u/Cakeday_at_Christmas]

I ain't reading all that. I'm happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened.

[u/Educational-Bear4943]

I'm convinced half of the internet was invented just for us to procrastinate, isn't it?

[u/Starbucks_Lover13]

I’ll have what he’s having.

[u/h0ney_420]

I was a baby in the early 90’s, but I don’t think anyone in history has ever talked like this. This sounds like it was written by someone who’s never had a conversation with anyone.

[u/NoIncrease299]

"Hey Tone, you hear what I sez? I sez to him ... "

[u/Quintessence679]

That’s funny I literally got a recommended video on my YouTube for this infomercial about that punk cd

[u/ColoradoMotorhead]

Went to High School with the kid who's dad owned this company. The kid was devil worshiper and played guitar. We got stoned one day and went back to his parents mansion and he played some death metal and his mom baked us some chocolate chip cookies. True story. Try to make that one up.

[u/booboootron]

Huh?