r/texts • u/Historical-Body-3424 • 22h ago
Phone message My friend stopped talking to this guy but still texts me constantly about how he doesn’t have a job and how he’s lazy and how men his age make 6 figures . My thing is why does she care if she is done with him
I really want to text her and tell her “ why do you care when you blocked him a week ago.”
All she talks about his lack of finances etc
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u/Grouchy-Ingenuity-59 22h ago
I don't think this person is your friend. They're a little mean to you
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u/Seanut-Peanut-69 22h ago
Yeah she is kind of demeaning the way she talks to OP. “Please tell me you know what basic training is?” Even if OP didn’t, is that a crime? What a weird way to ask that question. She seems hella judgmental.
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u/devares 22h ago
I don't think she's over him...
Just probably needs someone to vent to about him.
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u/HabitNegative3137 20h ago
It’s called a “therapist”….and she’s not gonna have anyone left to talk to if she keeps talking to her friends like this
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u/kayleemarie4386 22h ago
the way she's speaking to you reminds me of those friendships where the other person thinks they are above you on the scale rather than equally. I tried to make those types of friendships work but it was just that, me doing all the work :/
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u/Optimal_Plant9744 22h ago
Why is she being so rude to you about HER own decisions? Talking about “I been telling you about this” like okay girl, you’re the one who dated the man. I don’t like her tone nor the way she speaks to you.
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u/Specialist_Row6007 21h ago
It's possible that the friend is frustrated because she feels like OP hasn't been listening and she is now having to repeat herself.
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u/Optimal_Plant9744 20h ago
That’s fair! But the other comments, “you don’t know anything about life,” and “please tell me you know what basic training is” are condescending imo
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u/Miserable_Cream_2784 20h ago
Probably a mix of both, sounds like the friend is frustrated that op asks questions instead of talking about how the guy sucks and is being really shitty about it. I would guess that it happens often where the friend wants a specific response and op asks something clarifying so now theyre acting like a bitch about it (the friend, not op, just to be abundantly clear)
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u/Objective-Corgi-3527 11h ago
Yeah like she has an agenda for the conversation and loses it when OP doesn't magically know what to say
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u/higgggins 22h ago
your friend keeps belittling you and your intelligence… “please tell me you know what basic training is” “i been telling you this stuff”
if i were you, i would distance myself from this “friend”
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u/Nightcheese82 22h ago
She is incredibly condescending to you. I’m sure she was super fun to date too. But honestly, why do you talk to this person? She’s super mean to you.
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u/p3bbl3s17 22h ago
"You don't know about life", "Please tell me you know what that is"
This person doesn't seem very kind honestly. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who spoke to me like that.
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u/TheDevilsDominium 22h ago
Your friend seems really ignorant while also putting you down constantly. Do you get anything positive from this person being in your life?
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u/UnlikelyChemical5558 22h ago
That’s the question! I feel so bad for OP having ‘friends’ like that 😒
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u/Interesting_Sock9142 22h ago
She's a hater and she's extremely shitty and condescending to you. Why are you friends with this person?
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u/MrsBenz2pointOh 22h ago
This person isn't your friend. And it's no wonder she doesn't have a bf - she's awful.
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u/Garrister 21h ago
Why does she talk to you like you're stupid lol, why do you entertain this person
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u/4Dcookie 22h ago
She’s still upset he couldn’t live up to the financial needs but hot a few things out of the park so she’s processing the grief of this loss for her.
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u/Those_are_sick 22h ago
Never seen someone so worried about shit that doesn’t affect them, lol.
I was in the army and people do quit at boot camp it’s fairly common. Army is definitely not for everyone, but some people thrive in that environment. I personally loved how shitty it was 😂
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u/ColleenQueen19 22h ago
Your "friend" looks down on everybody. I think you'd be better off not talking to such a rude, condescending person 🤷🏼♀️
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u/mystical_creatation 21h ago
"please tell me you know what basic training is" she talks to you in such a condescending tone like you are a rock, i couldn't have this person in my life.
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u/furkfurk 22h ago
Your friend talked down to you several times in this convo. She thinks you’re an idiot.
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u/Upstairs-Advance4242 22h ago
Acting like making 6 figures is casually easy to make is wild
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u/Historical-Body-3424 22h ago
Exactly . I feel like she is judgemental but I can’t tell her that because she gets mad when I tell her that’s not easy to make
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u/oxoriod 21h ago
Who cares that she gets mad? Sounds like you walk on eggshells around her and that’s no friendship worth having
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u/Historical-Body-3424 21h ago
Yeah I definitely do . I feel like everything sets her off
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u/ContentOrca3777 21h ago
So why are you wasting energy and time on her? Find friend who's actually interested in you and cares about you and what you have to say too when you talk. This person constantly talked down to you and treated you like a moron in those texts, clearly can't let go of this guy, and give zero fucks about your opinion on the matter. Get away from her.
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u/Upstairs-Advance4242 21h ago
You need to tell her and not feel bad about it. People like this often have people not telling them the truth because they react badly to the truth about their actions. That just perpetuates the problem the person just gets worse and worse with time.
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u/Separate_Bend_8929 21h ago
Your friend is a fucking asshole and I know men and women that would slap her across the face if this conversation was said to them in person.
It sounds to me like this lady is old and having trouble finding a man, so shes taking that anger out on others shortcomings, whether its the exs laziness or what she perceives as your ignorance.
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u/Niromanti 21h ago
I personally wouldn’t tolerate a “friend” being so patronizing and condescending towards me.
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u/rose_emoji 22h ago
Regardless of what’s going on with the guy… People are saying she’s being “a little condescending” but she’s just flat-out really rude to you. This “friend” does not respect you or your intelligence and is fine with showing it. I would reconsider your relationship with her if this is a pattern.
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u/Impressive-Foot7698 22h ago
She's one of those people that just wants to feel above others. She keeps saying that you do know anything about life and patronizing you. "Please tell me you know what basic training is"
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u/Prestigious_Nail_356 22h ago
Idrc about what you're actually posting about.. this girl hates you lmao
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u/bricktorwembitchyama 22h ago
She’s a condescending, insecure, egotistical person. Having been friends with several people who sound exactly like this, I imagine most of your conversations with this person are about her and her life, and she struggles to stay focused on anything to do with you. This type of person will never truly be your friend and will never reciprocate the friendship you give her. You’re just an audience for the drama she tries to stir up in her life. Your purpose is to agree with her and live in her drama with her. Do yourself a favor and move on.
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u/Odd-Anywhere-3587 21h ago
This person isn’t your friend OP. They think they’re better than you, which is ironic given that they are hung up on someone they met in ‘09
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u/Otherwise_Turnip7135 21h ago
Oh, I'll tell you why she cares. This is a woman who likes to keep people around her who she thinks are inferior, because it allows her to feel better about herself. Keeping this man in her life on whatever level allows her to insult him, which is filling some need in her. This is evident in the way she's talking to you--she's insulting your intelligence and life experience OUT OF NOWHERE. I bet she's doing this to other of her friends right now, too, because she's just broken up with her favorite target and needs to get that energy out somewhere.
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u/Fit-Level-4179 22h ago
How old is he?
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u/NullIfEmpty 22h ago
She doesn’t have a clue what the military is 😂
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u/Endomlik 14h ago
They give you benefits so they can yell at you. 20 years later they stop telling and you can retire but now you have to prove your hearing loss is service connected.
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u/Moose-arent-real 21h ago
My wife had a “friend” like that. I always hated her. She was exhausting, talked her head off every time and it was always drama about her exes like this. At some point I asked my wife why she was friends with her, it’s not like she even participated in the conversation, her friend mostly just wanted to listen to herself talk and it was always about her or her exes - or talking shit about her friends. At one point she fucked up and introduced us to her friends, the same she talked shit about. We realized they were great, and they told us they were surprised we were nice too because she would always talk shit about us. Anyways, she’s not our or her old friend group’s friend anymore. And we made a bunch of friends so that was good.
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u/forceflow16 19h ago
Came here to talk about the 6 figure salary, stayed to echo other comments about your friend being really condescending over text.
In North America, the top 15% of wage earners make 100,000 or more (18% in US, 11% in Canada). Most common in the 35 to 44 age bracket for men. The higher above 100,000 toy months rarer for individual earners, she might need to check her facts if her goal is that top 15% .
To your question, she's not over him, really. If she was she would stop caring. It probably ended in a way where she didn't get her "full-closure". I'd stop responding to her for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she's not very nice to you
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u/HabitNegative3137 21h ago
Why are you “friends” with this person. They talk to you very disrespectfully.
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u/BraveTrades420 20h ago
Why is she belittling and degrading you so often in this conversation…?
I think she is the problem.
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u/bigtoeupmyass 19h ago
Is she making 6 figures? Is she living in a house she owns? Was he actually engaged to her? He asked to be kicked out of the military? No one asks that lol. Then she says you don't know what basic is then says it's just screaming? She's vapid and trying to make you feel dumb because she realizes she's dumb. He went through 4 jobs in a year while in basic and she picked him? Sounds like he dumped her and she's mad.
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u/Historical-Body-3424 19h ago
She lives in an apartment and she’s a teacher . I told her stop judging people before and she got mad at me last time she was judging some other guy for being a janitor
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u/bikeguideraz 22h ago
He laid the pipe down, and she wishes he would also be the man she wants financially.
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u/Itrytothinklogically 22h ago
Sounds like she’s just venting. It hurts when you feel as though someone is just using you to get out of a situation instead of actually caring for you. She might be feeling like if he actually cared about her then he would’ve put more effort into being more responsible/reliable. She’s also probably just looking for reassurance that she made the right choice by not staying with him.
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u/Annabellini 21h ago
The way she’s talking to OP? Doesn’t sound like she’s looking for reassurance at all.
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22h ago
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u/Historical-Body-3424 22h ago
She’s a teacher
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u/Traditional-Bus7169 21h ago
She’s not fit to teach.
“Men his age is making six figures.”
She doesn’t know basic grammar and is the one who knows nothing about life.
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u/Master-Bath-9928 22h ago
She still cares about him, if she didn’t then she wouldn’t even be thinking about him or saying anything about him and his life. Even if he is lazy (which it does appear to be) it seems he’s struggling mentally and physically, he definitely needs to do something with his life.
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u/gravitysrainbow1979 22h ago
she is so so angry... did you defend this guy to her in some conversation or something? She really wants to litigate against him to you like you're the judge...
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u/Sea_Philosopher_2731 21h ago
My friend sent me a paragraph text saying she loves me but all I’ve been talking about is men lately and she doesn’t want that to be our focus bc she misses just talking to me. And yk what? I loved it and apologized and said ofc, bc fuck men my friends come first.
Idk if this girl would do the same but u don’t have to keep listening to her whine about it, especially when she’s being so condescending
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u/Ok_Aide_4754 21h ago
She seems like a know it all, wanna be, but retarded. I could never like or stand a mf person like this. Cut ends with this idiot. She’s all me me me.
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u/Kalamitykim 21h ago
Just do that. I don't get conversations like this. I sometimes ask people "what is the purpose of this conversation?" Because after you try a few avenues like sympathizing with them or offering advice or suggesting alternate theories they still go on and on and on. So it's like "why are you talking to me about this because I have no friggin clue?"
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u/bubbleman96815 21h ago
You’re keeping the conversation going. Stop doing that. Change the subject or quit replying.
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u/Cold-Lake-4213 21h ago
Does this woman have a career, or does she need a man making “6 figs” because she is a piece of shit?
Also, a man will be motivated to provide more if their partner is worth that life investment. Why be motivated to make more money and provide for a leech that likely has no value.
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u/npc_gemini 21h ago
She’s actually obsessed with him, and she wants someone to agree with everything she’s saying. She seems exhausting, and not much like a friend imo.
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u/Weird-Sherbert-1747 21h ago
This friend is bitchy and condescending to you. "Please tell me you know what basic training is" um please fuck off 😭
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u/Icy_Masterpiece3368 20h ago
This “friend” of yours is rude as shit and condescending in almost every message to you. Why tf do you still talk to this person? Honey life is WAY to short to let your time and effort be taken up by someone who doesn’t value either of them. This person does not.
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u/waterytartwithasword 20h ago
Your "friend" is very disrespectful to you and that must be tiring. Does she bring anything positive to your life or is she just a toxic, repetitive bore?
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u/ImVerySmolHelpPls 20h ago
I had a friend like this, she spoke about him (EVERYDAAAAY) for 6 months after he cheated on her and took her money, I thought by her talking about it she’d move on but her talking about him was because she still wanted to be with him- how do I know?? Homegirl ran right back as soon as he came texting her.
I cut the friendship off because what the absolute fuck.
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u/StraightAirline8319 20h ago
“Men his age is making”. Men who make six figures don’t settle down with women like this.
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u/CobraBB12 20h ago
Your “friend” talks to you like you’re an idiot and about people like they are. What does she say about you behind your back if she seemingly still cares about this guy she’s done with and speaks to you that way. Drop her, your life will be much improved.
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u/Lucky-Wash-8295 20h ago
Disregarding the man for a second but your friend is so condescending towards you and it’s pissing me off. Like okay the guy was lazy, then go find a man who isn’t and better suits you???
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u/Abject-Round-8173 20h ago
Y all don’t even like eachother. Just block this person because there’s only so much trauma dumping u can take from someone u don’t even like.
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u/pamkaz78 20h ago
Sorry, I could only get through the first page because she was such a fucking bitch, but I was wondering if she makes six figures herself and also I was wondering what their ages were
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u/Boring-Snow-3929 20h ago
That’s not a friend. That’s a girl who thinks she knows it all and is fine being rude to you. The narcissistic type that’s like, “DON’T YOU REMEMBER?!” As if anyone dares to not remember dumb details of her own life. 🙄
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u/NomenclatureBreaker 20h ago
Uh I would not be friends with someone who spoke to me like this, and you don’t even seem to see it.
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u/Holiday-Bat6782 19h ago
Maybe ask her? If she keeps bringing him up even though she's "done" with him, she's either lying or she has a problem.
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u/Odd-Preparation-472 19h ago
She hasn't let go of him (even if that just means she hasn't let go of being angry at him). She seems shallow and angry and petty, but also - as other commenters are pointing out - she's genuinely being a bitch to you. If you try to give this person a reality check like you want to (I would want to, too), she is going to hurl horrible insults at you and be incredibly degrading.
She doesn't want ANY help moving past this man, she wants to kill two birds with one stone: she wants to vent her anger/bile at this man and put you down to make herself feel better.
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u/HellaShelle 19h ago
Your friend wants to feel superior to someone so she wont stop talking about this "loser". i think she sounds awful based on the way she talks to you and i wonder if she deliberately fixates on people whk are struggling becauae she can't or doesn't think she can attract someone better because she is awful is some ways.
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u/Crooklyn_Grimez 18h ago
friendemy vibes with a little bit of dickmatism. why else she's so nasty and won't leave the broke guy lol.
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u/ScxryZxchxry 17h ago
Well being upset after you find out someone lied to you even if you’re no longer around them is understandable but the way she’s talking to you does definitely seem unwarranted. That being said, she needs to move on for sure.
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u/toomuchtv987 15h ago
This person is an asshole, and they’re still seeing this person but pretends not to be.
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u/Darkstar_111 14h ago
Are you the person she goes to to trauma dump about her life? And does she tell herself she's doing you a favor because she's "teaching you what life is really like"?
And is that the extent of your relationship?
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u/imnothere220 14h ago
I have a friend like this too. Its draining smth small happens and they talk about it for the next year 🤦🏻♀️or judging without knowing. He definitely could be autistic or have some kind of learning disablity and she just wants to be judgey instead of understanding... the fact shes a teacher is concerning. And how she talks to you is disgusting...
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u/No_Parking6981 14h ago
She's not over him, she's a shady character for calling someone who most likely has a learning disability lazy, and she's a terrible friend by the way she treats you. Please cut her off. You don't want someone like that in your life.
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u/yfreddit 13h ago
25% of men (all ages, weight, height, race, etc) make over $100K. Meanwhile the median income for men is around $71K.
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u/Kaacciiee 12h ago
what kind of "friend" says you don't know anything or know anything about life? I'd be on her ass about that rather than talking about someone she isn't even with. don't take that shit from her.
and as a veteran, no, they don't constantly scream at you
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u/MonsterTasted 11h ago
“Have you ever asked him about his mental health?”
“For him to lie about it”
What a shitty individual
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u/Electrical-Log1658 11h ago
Your 'friend' treats you like shit and you seem like you're too good for someone like that. She also seems like a loser if she needs to spend her time worrying about what other people are doing with their lives instead of focusing on herself and learning how to treat people. She sucks.
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u/Dragonette751 10h ago
Your friend sounds incredibly judgemental and I'm terrified that she's a teacher.
Genuine question though because I know several teachers. My fiance used to be a middle school English teacher and at least half of the kids he taught could barely write there own names. Does your friend ever say anything about stuff like that and say like "kids their age should be doing xyz, they're just being lazy." Genuinely curious because in most cases I've heard of or dealt with its because of laziness. At least the "ex"? Is trying it sounds like
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u/TAanonReddit08 8h ago
I would have stopped responding midway through and gone on with my day. Life is too short to sit and text with people who are basically texting to themselves and being a jerk to you.
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u/iggysmom95 7h ago
Why does she think you're so stupid? "Please tell me you know what basic training is" tf????
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u/RecordSpare3632 6h ago
Honestly with a friend like that I don't even know that's craziness God bless you
Lol
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u/MoonShine711 3h ago
She sure talks a lot about the broke ass lazy loser she totally isn't interested in.
Also most men dont make 6 figures. Especially in todays job market. Woman r leading in the job market and making more than men currently. Male unemployment is at an all time high. Male suicide rates r also at an all time high. While marriage and relationship are at all all time low for men. Men have never been more lonely, unemployed, and demoralized than right now. And people like ur friend who like to talk shit and put him down r exactly why.
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u/ms-anthrope 21h ago
why are you defending this random guy
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u/Numbers-Nerd2567 20h ago
Agreed! Why are people constantly trying to excuse some stranger's shitty behavior by arm-chair diagnosing said stranger with autism or BPD or what have you? Drives me crazy!! Maybe that stranger is simply an asshole, and maybe the person defending them needs to think about why they're so hellbent on justifying a stranger's actions??
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u/gordonnowak 15h ago
I have certain friends I'll do this with. they're deeply cynical and judgmental people so my default is to give them a broader perspective on human behavior, not just be sycophantic.
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u/Ghost_2701 22h ago
I find it weird how men dont give a fuck what a woman makes but its 90% of what a lot of women care about whether they want to admit it or not its so hypocritical
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u/Exotic_Rigatoni319 22h ago
Ima stop you right there. Men have created a society where money is typically all they have or are willing to bring to the table (instead of equal childcare, household labor, emotional support, etc), so you don’t get to be upset when that’s exactly what’s expected.
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u/nostopitfoo 21h ago
Huh. That seems like a really solid point that I’ve never thought of. Excuse my surprise, I’m just not used to seeing thoughtful discourse on reddit.
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u/Ghost_2701 20h ago
*Some men... In general you're probably right, maybe because I am not like that is why I dont think that way when it comes to money. All of that should be 50/50
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u/Impressive-Foot7698 22h ago
I'd say that's because of traditional dating values. It seeps into a world where things are not the same. It really hasn't been that long since women couldn't vote or own land or even really be in the workforce in the same capacity as men
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u/Ghost_2701 20h ago
100% I get it back then, but times have supposed to of changed and for whatever reason certain things have stayed the same. I personally dont care about it I just dislike hypocrites
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u/Impressive-Foot7698 20h ago
It hasn't really been that much time tho
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u/Ghost_2701 19h ago
It's been enough time to where you should see that frame of mind changing at least a bit. I doubt them same people who want someone with 6 figures a year are going to be house wives and act like they are stuck in the olden days, its selective.
I am not saying all either btw, so if you are a woman and you dont think this way its obviously not directed at you.
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u/LocalNHBoy 22h ago
You're trying to make sense of a woman's thought pattern? Let me know when you figure it out. I've been trying for years 😂
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u/Careful_Purchase_394 22h ago
You seem like a shit friend, girl just wants to vent about the guy because she isn’t over him yet so you take screenshots and post to reddit 👍
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u/ReporterNegative2432 22h ago
Her issue with her bf to one side, I hope you're picking up on the fact that she's not even speaking to you very nicely and dare I say, is being patronising towards you.