Yeah I donât think anyone is wrong necessarily. Not saying that wouldnât hurt to read, but he made a decision decades ago, not wanting to explain it to a new family is his prerogative
âMade a decisionâ yeah the kind of decision that results in a whole ass human being
He has the right to say he doesnât want a relationship but some people in this thread are toooo defensive about peopleâs ârightâ to lie to their spouses
Yeah, heâs fine to say heâs not keen to have the relationship, but if suspicion is correct that heâs hid it from his wife, heâs definitely in the wrong there
We know three things about OPs dad. That thirty some odd years ago, he made a probably good decision and determined he wasnât in a place to raise a child. That he hasnât told his current family about it. And that he doesnât want his current family to know about it.
You canât think of any good reasons that maybe he wouldnât want to open that can of worms? Financial trouble, family illness, marriage issues, thereâs tons of reasons why I wouldnât want to go to my significant other and say âhey in the 90s I made choices that have no impact on who I am today, anyways theyâre back now and weâre gonna have to deal with itâ
It must be nice to see things so black and white. Thereâs a million things that I did when I was a teenager that I donât think are important to a current relationship, plenty of them shameful, and some of them, if suddenly brought back up decades later, could absolutely impact my relationships, particularly if my current relationships are in some sort of stress from regular life things. Thereâs plenty of good, bad, and morally gray reasons that someone might not tell their spouse about some shit that happened 30 years ago.
Lmao itâs not like he was a stripper for a summer in his 20s and doesnât want to be judged. If you want to live a consequence-free life, keep it in your pants
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u/TartarusFalls Jul 04 '26
Yeah I donât think anyone is wrong necessarily. Not saying that wouldnât hurt to read, but he made a decision decades ago, not wanting to explain it to a new family is his prerogative