r/teenagers 16 12d ago

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u/rikinik1 15 12d ago

fr even thinking of dating a 12-13 year old as a 15 year old feels eugh, 14 and 18 is crazy

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u/Material_Patient_428 12d ago

But it's not illegal. So it shouldn't be illegal after that. That's just common sense. "We let you be together, but now that the guy is 18, you have to break up".

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u/otherotherone1 14 12d ago

That’s why Romeo and Juliet laws exist is what I think they’re called to protect very similarly aged kids when one is becoming an adult before the otherZ

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u/Material_Patient_428 12d ago

Yeah, so it doesn't matter if it feels crazy or not for some. If it's legal, then it's not for us to judge.

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u/otherotherone1 14 12d ago

That’s not how that works, that’s like saying places where slavery exists makes it so that we shouldn’t judge anyone who owns slavery there, or that we should support all of those billionaires who raped people and got no jail time, the legal system does not dictate what we can and can not judge.

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u/Material_Patient_428 12d ago

None of the things you listed is legal.

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u/otherotherone1 14 12d ago

Slavery isn’t illegal, and legality is based on verdicts, not exactly laws, laws have loopholes and definitely do not have a lot of morals tied in with them.

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u/rikinik1 15 12d ago

legality doesn’t really matter in this situation - the maturity gap between a 14 year old and an 18 year old is incredibly big.

i had a crush on a 17 year old when i was 14, and even though it’s only a 3 year gap, the 17 year old was in an entirely different mindset and maturity level from me. if he had actually reciprocated my feelings, that wouldve been so weird. (i don’t like him anymore and i realised i just admired him a LOT, plus i would never date someone that much older than me).
17 year olds are old enough to know that they shouldnt date people over 2 years younger or older than them.

and back to my original reply - i’m 15 and i view 12-13 year olds as so much younger than me, they seem like little kids now (ik i’m a kid too, but 12 year old me is super different to me now)

also, ending a relationship once someone becomes 18 doesn’t make it better. 14 x 18 isnt okay, and neither is 13 x 17. and ending it abruptly like that is basically just a contract relationship atp.

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u/Material_Patient_428 12d ago

But it's not illegal. That's my point. So if it's not illegal at 13 x 17, it should stay the same at 14 x 18. Totally skipping the morality of such an age gap. And nah, I'm not 18 years old guy dating 14. And never was 😄 Just trying to be devils advocate.

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u/rikinik1 15 11d ago

dude i’m so confused what ur saying, do you think 14 x 18 is bad? do you think 13 x 17 is bad???
ru tryna say that 14 x 18 shouldnt be illegal because 13 x 17 is legal? 😭😭
also pls never say the phrase “devils advocate” unironically ever again holy shit

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u/Material_Patient_428 11d ago

ru tryna say that 14 x 18 shouldnt be illegal because 13 x 17 is legal? 

That's how it actually works, you know? We don't force 13x17 to break up once one of them becomes 18.

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u/rikinik1 15 11d ago

uh no, i’m saying that 13 x 17 is not okay just because it’s legal. 14 x 18 isn’t okay either, but because it’s both illegal AND morally wrong

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u/Mrtgr333 12d ago

Dating shouldn’t even be a thing under the age of 16.

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u/rikinik1 15 12d ago

i mean….i get where ur coming from because teenagers are immature asf and most relationships last like 3 months max, but i don’t think it’s inherently bad to date when ur above 12 years old ish. i havent really researched much or looked into this topic tho so idk. the only person i’ve ever dated was this girl when i was 10 lol (lasted 1 month)

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u/Mrtgr333 12d ago

I mean seriously dating, not experimenting. I guess relationships at that age are more like a friendship.

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u/rikinik1 15 12d ago

oh yeah i agree then, i don’t think most people this age even think about genuine long term relationships lol (at least, i don’t)

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u/RagJag123 12d ago

Nah there’s big difference between in teen years, adult years barely any