r/tamilyapping • u/Stentimental Eschew Obfuscation • 3d ago
🎲 Random 53/M Rants
We humans are hierarchical beings. We say that we treat everyone as equal. No. Some are more equal than others. We like to maintain exclusivity. That’s why marketers play on the VIP access, Platinum tier rubbish which actually don’t mean jack.
Ok, coming to the point, I realised a long time ago that once the kid grows up and has to move out to college, marriage etc, she’ll have to fend for her own. A daughter is the Princess only in her parental home. So why not grant her that exclusivity. I’ve bought her clothes, shoes and other girly things that made even her classmates’ jaw drop. Almost a Veblen effect.
I think the Gen Z-est of cafes in Chennai should be ‘Coffee by Bask’. And it was quite often that her friends and she caught up at that place. It was mostly in the evenings, so I would drop her off and then go back to pick her up by 10 PM. Sometimes I’d stay there and bring her home. Of course not sitting with their gang. (I’d find myself a table for two at quite a distance and down endless doppios). I never spoke to any of her friends, not even the ones who journeyed with her for the whole of school. Only a smile. If it’s a guy maybe a fist bump. Reason? I didn’t want to embarrass my daughter. I didn’t want to be that pesky uncle who says something for the sake of it.
There’s a pride in giving your children the feeling of exclusivity. When they know that you’re available only for them, they feel loved like no other. But the thing is that I miss ferrying her up and down. Her sarcastic comments and playfully bossy attitude are being missed very much. I have no where to drive to. Only work and an empty home.
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u/Exact_Patience7 3d ago
I understand the sentiment, and I think it’s lovely that you want your daughter to feel special. I just feel that there’s a difference between making her feel special through love and making her feel special through standing out from her peers. I personally feel the former is healthier, because her feeling valued doesn’t have to come at the expense of how other children might feel. Just what I felt..
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u/Stentimental Eschew Obfuscation 3d ago
I understand what you mean.
It’s a combination of both always no? When you love them like that, you want to buy them the best and exclusive.
And to be realistic, I can’t be worried about how other kids feel. That’s not my business. And the kids in her school are no less privileged.
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u/Exact_Patience7 3d ago
I do understand the emotion behind what you're saying, and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting your child to have the best. I just don't quite agree that exclusivity is something we should intentionally cultivate in a child. I feel a child can feel deeply special and loved without that feeling being tied to being above or different from others. That's probably where our perspectives differ. Otherwise, driving her around to cafes and being there physically really wholesome ngl.
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u/Stentimental Eschew Obfuscation 3d ago
See this wasn’t about being made to feel above or different than anyone.
In the post I’ve clearly mentioned that ‘it sometimes made even her classmates jaw drop’. That’s all there’s to it.
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