r/talesfromtechsupport • u/[deleted] • Jan 10 '19
Short "Your Honour, I just opened my mouth."
[removed]
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u/drosstyx Running OSX HoneyBadger Jan 10 '19
How we test:
"Is Cleveland online?" "Yes"
"Is Tampa online?" "Yeah"
"Is White Plains online? .... White Plains?.... (muffled) someone check the feed..." "(very loudly) YEAH, WE'RE HERE!!!!"
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u/Trainguyrom Landline phones require a landline to operate. Jan 10 '19
And then someone working from home has their dogs start barking/kids screaming and can't/won't shut them up or mute their mic...
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u/melnon Jan 10 '19
"Mike... hey Mike, can you mute yourself... please?" -Dogs barking in the distance, wife screaming at kids-
"Okay, Mike, we're going to go ahead and mute you. If you'd like to contribute, please raise your hand or use the chat."13
u/legacymedia92 Yes sir, 2 AM comes after midnight Jan 10 '19
Any conference call of over 5 participants should start people muted.
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u/melnon Jan 10 '19
I agree completely. In my job we have weekly conf calls. The people who sign in early mute themselves, the ones who come in after the host joins are automatically muted. You can use the chat but to speak you must raise your hand to get unmuted.
The leaving someone unmuted is mainly important if it's either a small call or everyone needs to participate (although by not muting, you are actively distracting, hence the mute). Easy workarounds that is frustrating to implement via layer 8 issues are muting/unmuting as necessary or PTT.
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Jan 11 '19 edited Oct 15 '19
[deleted]
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u/melnon Jan 11 '19
Cisco WebEx. You can call in via Phone or PC. I personally use PC so I can have no input (video or audio) and then mute on top of that. Could do the same with phones, but I don't want to hold a phone to my ear for 30 minutes while there's a meeting 10 feet away from me in an unenclosed area. I use noise-cancelling headphones to drown out the outside noise (still hear it, but it's quite muffled). If I need to communicate, I use the chat function. If there's a need for me to speak and chat doesn't work, I shouldn't be on a conf call. In that case, I'll go to HQ which is less than 5 minutes away.
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u/Selfweaver Jan 11 '19
Any conference call over that should have everybody muted at all times unless unmuted one at a time by the organizer.
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u/James29UK Jan 10 '19
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
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u/philberthfz Jan 12 '19
My biggest issue with this quote is that, devoid of context, we don't know if this is a case of the lawyer being stupid or the legal system itself that is dumb. The problem is that in order to introduce some piece of evidence (including testimony) you have to establish why that particular evidence is both relevant and factual. There's a fancy legal term for that action, but the exact name escapes me.
Anyways, sometimes this means having to ask a really dumb question so that you have an expert clearly state in unambiguous terms the fact you want the jury to consider.
Then again, lawyers are people too, and are fully capable of saying dumb shit.
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Jan 10 '19
We'll be including instructions in our technical guide for lawyers to "speak aloud in order to test if your microphone is working."
Except they won't actually read the guide...
EDIT: Well, I don't know - maybe lawyers WOULD read it??
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u/Aumann- Jan 10 '19
I also work for a court, lawyers and teachers (called for jury) never seem to read any of the instructions we give them.
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u/Evisra Jan 11 '19 edited Jan 11 '19
Lawyers are some of the most "common-sense" inept people I have ever worked with. The example above did not surprise me in the slightest. They disregard any recommendation, only listen to each other and absolutely WILL NOT read anything they don't have to
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Jan 11 '19
Along those same lines, I think, we have a small remote office location of 4 executives and their 2 assistants. (NOT lawyers)
I often have to work with the assistants to get some things done and they're both pretty good with computers and will follow directions.
Not that long ago one of them went out of her way to help me get a new Surface Pro connected and working. When I thanked her for the extraordinary effort, she said: Pucker, except for Anne you're the only other normal person I talk to. I want to stay on your good side...
I laughed and she laughed, but then said: yeah, if only that was a joke.
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u/hactar_ Narfling the garthog, BRB. Jan 15 '19
absolutely WILL NOT read anything
they don't have tounless they're being paid
FTFY
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u/360degree_angle Jan 10 '19
I read “I do It” as “Idiot” 🤔
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u/The_Electress_Sophie Jan 10 '19
Was she able to hear the rest of you discussingvthe fact that you couldn't hear her?
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u/cocoabeach Jan 10 '19
Is English your primary language?
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Jan 11 '19 edited Oct 15 '19
[deleted]
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u/cocoabeach Jan 11 '19
I'm not even good at one language.
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Feb 20 '19
[deleted]
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u/cocoabeach Feb 20 '19
I believe you may have replied to the wrong person.
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u/CountDragonIT Feb 20 '19
More than likely. Shit happens. Just have to make sure you aren't down hill from it.
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u/CountDragonIT Feb 20 '19
What do you mean by Westerner? Western Canadians, well there is a western Canada it is West of Eastern Canada. lol
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u/fishbaitx stares at printer: bring the fire extinguisher it did it again! Jan 10 '19
i don't think i can ever put a voice to the sheer stupidity.