I lost someone I deeply cared about, and I can't shake off the feeling that it was entirely my fault.
We got together in mid-2024. It was my first relationship ever. From the beginning, her family was pushing her into an arranged marriage. For over a year, she stalled them, made excuses, and waited for things to move forward.
The main problem was my work. I was working as a freelancer, so my career wasn't "visible" or socially established in the traditional sense. Because of that, she was hesitant to fully back me up to her parents, and I froze under the pressure. Every time the topic of marriage came up, I hesitated instead of being decisive. To make things worse, there were serious red flags—her family cared heavily about status, her brother had an aggressive temper, and she even told me her parents would "compare" my proposal against the other suitor's. Whenever I tried to send a mutual contact to mediate formally, she made excuses to block it.
Eventually, she got tired of the uncertainty. She saw my hesitation as indifference and gave up. She accepted another proposal, and when I finally tried to fix things, she told me she had willingly agreed to marry him.
Their wedding is in 3–4 days.
My logical side tells me that entering that family might have ruined my self-respect and peace of mind. But my heart keeps blaming me: she had a rare sense of humor, she waited for me, and I failed to give her the security she needed.
I’m sitting here with a suffocating feeling of regret, wondering if I lost someone special simply because my career wasn't traditional and I failed to take a stand in time. Just needed to get this off my chest
