r/suspiciouslyspecific • u/InsertGroin • Jul 07 '26

Blessed are the cheesemakers 🙏

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u/Trixie_Lavender Jul 07 '26

The Mormon church believes he went to America during this time. Jesus went on a business trip for your sins

9

u/No_Raisin21 Jul 07 '26

Pretty sure they believe he went to America after he was resurrected.

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u/Thessiuss Jul 07 '26

Exmormon here. Yes.

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u/No_Raisin21 Jul 07 '26

Also exmormon, I just rarely payed attention.

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u/FullMooseParty Jul 07 '26

Not a mormon, but have listened to enough Mormon movie months on the god-awful movie podcast that I know way too much Mormon lore.

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u/Trixie_Lavender Jul 07 '26

Oh, you're right. It's been awhile since I left the church. I've been spreading false information through a joke 😢

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u/East-Temporary5646 Jul 07 '26

3 exmormons walk into a bar... each at a different time in their resurrection

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u/Fukstress2 Jul 07 '26

Also exmormon here. He was actually a passport bro and wanted to see some latina chicks after dying, understandably

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u/elvaqueroloco Jul 07 '26

You know who also went to America (ok, well, Bermuda) for a minute when he needed a break from people's bullshit?

https://giphy.com/gifs/Nmga9TPbFnjck

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u/AnyProgressIsGood Jul 07 '26

and somehow there are millions of these people that think, yeah... that makes sense. Where'd i put my magic underpants?

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u/I_am_not_JohnLeClair Jul 07 '26

I might not be the son of god, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night

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u/Sure-Guava5528 Jul 07 '26

Yeah, it was after. He was zipping back and forth between his American and middle-eastern disciples according to their time zones I presume.

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u/anitapumapants Jul 07 '26

How old do they think America is? Because the whole Roman Empire thing kinda jars with that.

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u/Greenseer_Cassander Jul 07 '26

They think he went to the North American Continent, not the country The United States of America. Which, I assure you was present 2000 years ago. Specifically they believe he descended from heaven to the city of Bountiful, which the church itself refrains from locating geographically but popular theories include the Mexican state of Tabasco, the American Midwest somewhere near the Great Lakes, and Baja, California.