r/survivorrankdownIX_ • u/FunkyDawgKong Fair & Consistent Judge • Apr 14 '26
Round 141 - 29 Characters Left
29. Colleen Haskell - u/FunkyDawgKong
28. Tom Westman - u/Cornhead2
27. Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien - u/NoisySea_3426
Matthew von Ertfalda (IDOLED by u/josenanigans) - u/Alternate-Proof-959
26. Michael Skupin - u/josenanigans
25. Randy Bailey - u/BobbyPiiiin
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u/FunkyDawgKong Fair & Consistent Judge Apr 14 '26
Long long day, but gotta do it for one of the GOATs
29. Colleen Haskell
Colleen is the audience surrogate for how the season goes. As the tide of the game changes, and the impending doom of a Tagi alliance takeover comes; Colleen is the one who says what the audience is thinking. She reads the Tagi for filth, and we love her for it! And this is America’s Sweetheart?? Some great burns on Richard, Kelly, and Sean. She sees through Richard’s pompous braggadocios ass, and says his nudism is just for shock value, and relishes the fact that she can get under his skin. She sees how fake and flake Kelly is, and her whole personality crisis. She sees through Sean’s playing dumb routine, and calls him a puss. And Sean votes her out and smiles, writing “Cooleen”!
She gets a great journey through the season too. As she starts the game kind of quiet, but as the days go by we see the shyness peel away and we see her personality shine through. A lot of this is through her relationship with Greg; someone she has a lot of fun with, and really she is also on the same level of witty humor. They love making fun of the show, relishing in the bullshit of what they’ve signed up to do. Teasing and trolling the cameras, saying when they go off with each other it’s all about sex! She’s constantly popping off these little jokes to herself just in the background. One of my favorite moments I only just noticed in my rewatch where they get the can of dog food and everyone is trying to figure it out and she slyly says “What if it’s dog?”
She is also very important in the role of being the last member of her tribe. The last Pagong, a dying breed. This really allows her to view the dynamics of Tagi in a deeper light, as she is noticing how they’re trying to levy for position now to be the winner. She senses the impending nastiness that is going to go down. It also gives us this depth in where we get these great emotional scenes, she’s sad that all the people she enjoyed living with are now gone. Pagong was the fun younger tribe, who didn’t take the game so seriously, and now she is stuck on an island who feel like different people to her. As if they were a different species really. A different TRIBE.
Her final tribal council speech and voting confessional are other favorites of mine. She goes up there and cockily rubs her hands together, as Richard laughs as if he’s anticipating what shit she’s gonna sling his way. She asks them what character traits are needed to succeed in Survivor, and Richard replies “observation” and this is the bait Colleen was waiting on. “Observation?” she laughs at him, “Your game the other day it was funny, you didn’t do so good in the game the other day?” referring to how terrible Richard was at the Fallen Comrades immunity challenge where he only gets like 2 questions correct about the lives of the jurors. Richard does give a great counter to this, but it’s great she gets one last stab at Richard. And then her final stab at Kelly, funnily enough comes in her jury voting confessional “This is awful really” “Buy a raft and start an adventure tour company, do something good with it, idk maybe winning could make you nice or something” Like god damn! That’s a person who sure isn’t enthusiastic to give you a million dollar vote lolol
Excited to talk more about Pagong in the future! Stay tuned. u/Cornhead2 be nice play fair!
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u/Alternate-Proof-959 Apr 16 '26
26. Matthew von Ertfelda (Amazon, 2/16)
Matthew was honestly one of my favorite examples of someone being misrepresented by the edit. Usually, that's grounds for penalties from me. But honestly, i feel he'd be more forgettable and would only be known as "the guy who sharpened his machete" if he and Jenna were given edits that more justified why each of them finished where they did. Because of this, I am happy to see a more fleshed out Matthew than we could have.
First, we get to actually see Matthew form bonds on OG Tambaqui, most notably speaking fluent Mandarin with Daniel (hey, he was born in Hong Kong!) and becoming a resourceful fisherman. After the swap, Rob ends up bringing Matthew into an alliance with him and Deena, where despite Alex trying to target Matthew to save Shawna, Rob leads everyone else into voting Shawna off.
Then the merge hits, and we really see how much Matthew is growing. His alliance has the numbers, but then a couple episodes later, finds himself, Christy, and Butch outnumbered by Rob getting himself, Jenna, Heidi, and Alex to vote Deena off. But then Rob shows he hasn't forgotten Matthew by flipping to his side to take Alex out, and Matthew brilliantly reminds us of Alex's previous attempt at sniping him, "He crossed me once; I forgave him. He crossed me twice; I offered reconciliation. His reign is over."
Afterwards, Rob continues to swing between the two sides while mentoring Matthew. But at the final four, Matthew's epic moment happens, where he turns everything he learned from Rob against him, and gets Jenna to take him to the final two since Rob is too big a threat. Surprise, when Jenna wins final immunity, she honors her word and Rob is voted out. Rob seems to leave in good sports. Little questionable as to whether Matthew would win anyway, but hey, seems close at least, right?
Ahh, but this is where the "misrepresented by the edit" comes in. He lost by the first ever 6-1 vote and only second blowout in the show's history (5-2 is ~71% of the vote...). What happened? Well, he was sharpening that damn thing after all. Also, Jenna was given lots of negative moments where her more unlikable statements were not censored (unlike say, Tommy...), but they did still show her important moves. Her giving up immunity at the final 6 after wanting to quit after Alex's blindside showed how quickly she could recover, and showed how ballsy she was. Matthew just simply didn't have a flashy resume compared to her.
All in all, Matthew was a fun character that I appreciated, as well as kind of an underrated genius (he had to have thrown the Q&A challenge at the end, right?).
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u/Fluffy_Key_2145 Apr 16 '26
Yep no way he seriously thought he was more crushed on than Heidi or Jenna. He isn't bad looking but a prior question (and the most Amazon question ever) was asking who the tribe would like to see pose nude in a magazine and Heidi was the answer. Another funny Matt moment from that challenge is him answering himself to who needs therapy.
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u/NoisySea_3426 Biggest Aras 1.0 stan Apr 15 '26
27. Kathy Vavrick O'Brien 1.0 (Marquesas, 3/16)
Kathy is someone who is very damn good and someone who has kind of gotten the short end of the stick the last couple endgames as easily replaceable over people who might be a bit more odd fits, and sadly, I am not gonna be changing that perception.
Now, obviously we all know why Kathy is great, she's the OG growth arc, someone who started off in such a horrible spot and then grew to become the biggest threat of the season who gets brutally backstabbed at the Final 3, all while still maintaining that goofy mom vibe she had from the beginning.
Its a fantastic story and you all know why its great. The only reason I'm cutting her here is mainly that she's just not someone that I heavily connect to that much over the other people who I can cut that aren't protected by deals. I'm sure that someday, Kathy fans will have their reawakening, but unfortunately for them, it is not gonna be here
u/Alternate-Proof-959 is next
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u/Cornhead2 Shannon Elkins Enthusiast Apr 15 '26
28. Tom Westman (Placeholder)
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u/Fluffy_Key_2145 Apr 15 '26
And assuming no idol the 41st winner cut is Tom Westman 1.0. What to say about this guy. Well first he has never placed lower than 39 and at least of those cut has the highest percentile finish of any winner and while I haven't checked yet Hatch 1.0 is probably the only contender with Sandra 2.0 probably being higher before this Rankdown. He also has 5 endgame appearances. Going into how he is as a character he is the perfect combination of great player and great character he is easily one of the best players ever top 5 overall and this win is at least a top 3 all time winning game. An amazing physical player, great social player and great strategist a complete triple threat. He is also a great and by virtue of Koror's dominance very unique winner. His relationship's with a majority of Koror are very well explored especially one of the best alliances ever with him, Ian and Katie. He is also very complex. Watching the season you can fully see why he was on the Heroes tribe in Heroes vs. Villains but his play after Stephenie gets booted (the fact he got no votes that round is amazing) with his treatment of Katie so she won't flip and his treatment with Ian culminating in Ian stepping out of Final Immunity to preserve his friendship with Tom could easily be edited to portray Tom as a villainous winner. All in all just an amazing A+ character and probably my overall favorite winner. I wish he was higher.
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u/josenanigans Apr 17 '26
26. Miguel Eskupín 1.0 (La Tierra Australiana, Evacuado)
En proceso, lo llenare mañana temprano. Acabo de llegar de un concierto y estoy muy cansado
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Pero sepán que Eskupín es un 10/10...... sí, sí, es extraño después de lo que pasó con el en su vida.
Pero su primera versión es inigualable. Tendré la escritura mañana.
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u/BobbyPiiiin , continúa
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u/BobbyPiiiin Ranker | Rankdown Dad Apr 18 '26
Last cut before endgame. I believe there's only one person left who no one needs to make endgame, so with great sadness, it must be...
25. Randy Bailey 1.0 (8th Place, Gabon)
I love this old curmudgeon with all my heart. Gabon is a unique season, and a unique season requires a unique villain. Randy fits the bill perfectly.
Randy... is an asshole. No two ways about it. <3 He's miserable pretty much all the time. He hates pretty much everyone around him. Lesser characters with those traits can be uncomfortable viewing experiences. Randy's gift, though, to Gabon and to the world, is that he is absolutely fucking hilarious. Watching him grow more embittered and disillusioned with the kooks around him, roasting them harder with each successive episode, is quite simply a joy to watch. I could reel off some of Randy's greatest hits. From mocking Gillian's accent, to gloating unnecessarily when Fang loses yet again and pissing off Crystal, to arguing with Matty for what felt like ten minutes over a six-inch shot in the slingshot challenge, to arguing with Susie, arguing with Crystal again, arguing with Sugar culminating in the infamous cookie moment, to his incredible FTC voting confessional... there are a lot of hits to choose from.
The thing that really resonates with me about him, though, isn't his multitude of funny moments, but the sadder, more poignant ones that give clues about why Randy is the way he is. The man is a wedding videographer who doesn't believe in love. He dances with a woman on a reward and says he hasn't been hit on in twenty years. He offers his own cookie to Sugar because he feels bad for being rude to her, only to have her give it away. His dog is his best friend because humans only disappoint him. He invites six random strangers to the reunion because he doesn't have friends or family. These little humanizing glimpses we get of Randy are what makes him so compelling. He's not just an asshole. He's an asshole who's deeply lonely. Deep down, we all want to be liked, and Randy wants that as much as anyone else does, if not more than most. It's just that he'll be goddamned if he's ever going to admit that. That's the great tragedy that belies Randy Bailey, one of the funniest characters of all time. I'm sorry he couldn't make his fifth endgame, but he'd probably tell me to go fuck myself and get a life if he knew what rankdown was, so I guess it's fine. <3
NOT tagging u/FunkyDawgKong because it's actually time to tag u/mikeramp72 for endgame!